Morality Reloaded

I’m feeling long winded today, you’ve been warned! I’m also touching on a subject I’ve beat a couple times here before. For the best sense of what I’m getting it, you should probably read the previous rant on the old blog. I’m specifically calling attention to an important distinction of the general use of the word vs the reality of how most people apply it.

…morality does not refer to just any guide to behavior accepted by an individual, it is that guide to behavior that the individual adopts as his overriding guide, and wants everyone else to adopt as their overriding guide as well

To start off, I realized a long time ago, I have my own set of morals. I’ve also mentioned on numerous occasions I used to never view myself as an overly “moral” person in the strictest sense of the word. And while I’ve come to realize I am a moral person, my morals are subject to my own sense of overriding right from wrong, hence the quote above. An important distinction here is my personal moral code isn’t an excuse to allow me to behave inappropriately. More importantly, I can look beyond my own sense of morality to the greater sense of right and wrong. There are behaviors I accept as ok to me that would probably not be ok if everyone adopted it. Does that sound like a contradiction? Of course it does. Morality is completely subjective and derisive in nature simply because there is no one moral code that everyone subscribes to. Even worse, the use of morality as a hammer has become common practice in our society.

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The first half of my rant deals with the out of control religious fanaticism in Western culture today. I honestly don’t know how folks can still cling to the term ‘christian’ and look me in the eye anymore. I don’t mind telling you should you have the cojones to actually admit it to my face, my respect for you drops several points. [1]That is not to say, I discourage you from belief in God or a higher power in general.  Claiming ‘its your faith” is not an excuse anymore. Your “side” has made it clear the line has been drawn in the sand. You should be asking yourself, which side you are on?

Besides being responsible for more deaths than any other cause on the planet in our entire history, it seems that belief has become more important than right or wrong. The ‘religious right’ in this country have become extremists and a cult IMHO. They’ve taken up the banner of being in the “moral right” while using every dirty deceitful trick in the book to spread fear and hate. Well, I hate to burst your bubble but you are no longer the majority. You are fast relegating yourselves to the sidelines and will eventually become extinct. Not because of us but your own selfish narrow-minded behavior. When your convictions were tested, you failed miserably. You hide behind ‘your faith’ while resorting to the very tactics you claim to abhor in others. And to your draconian belief system I say good riddance. Offended? Lucky for you there is that lovely little X in the very right top corner of this window. Feel free to click it and never come back. My sympathy for you has been all used up. [2]As a side note, anyone claiming to be ‘christian in defense of their comments here will have their comments deleted.

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The other half of my little rant today is about a disturbing trend I’ve noticed in general in our society lately. Specifically, people no longer seem to care about the truth when arguing an objective based on ‘morality’. You hear the word moral thrown around a lot in circles discussing everything from Obama to gay rights. The sad twist is many of these same folks stoop to deceit, half-truths, and outright lies to prove said moral point. I’m speaking mostly in relation to the gay rights struggle, but it is much broader than that. Seeing the lengths that people go thru to defame and trash our current president is astounding and shameful. He isn’t responsible for this current state of crisis and expecting him to fix it overnight is beyond foolish, it is stupid.

The ‘fundie” extremists and I do agree on one thing. Our society is facing a moral decay. It isn’t ‘the gays’ that are causing it though. It is our personal greed blinding us to the simple truth that we are no longer a righteous people. Western society has become nothing more than a bunch of controlling corrupt power mongering whiners focused on their own personal gain. We can’t say the word ‘fuck’ on prime time TV but it is perfectly acceptable behavior for hospitals to turn patients out into the street because they are too poor to pay for health care. Gays can’t get married but it is perfectly ok to defraud hundreds of thousands of people out of jobs so you can run a get-rich-quick scheme. No, we are too focused on me, me, me, me to care about our neighbors, fellow man, the planet, or the common decency that used to bind us all together.

So, is this where I complain about moving to another country or planet? No. Instead, I continue to live openly and honestly about who and what I am. I continue to see the good in all of us. I continue to behave in a way that I can be proud of and look back on without shame. I strive to better myself and move forward w/o the need to trample over my fellow man to do it. My own moral compass may be fractured and flawed in comparison but it still points me due North. I will follow it until the end of my days. Can you say the same?

References

References
1 That is not to say, I discourage you from belief in God or a higher power in general.
2 As a side note, anyone claiming to be ‘christian in defense of their comments here will have their comments deleted.

Ride Away

I went on a ride this past Thursday with the boys. It was good except one of the guys ended up going down on his bike. He was ok except for some minor road rash and bumps. His bike was more banged up than he was. Naturally, he was more upset about that.  lol I could totally relate.  Luckily, he had an EMT and a nurse along to doctor him up.

Other than that, the ride went well. I find myself riding more and more these days. I’m loving my beast so much. I know I’ve said it before but I can’t believe I waited so long to upgrade to a bigger bike. I’m doing my best to make up for lost time.

We took a brand new route this time. We rode up thru Orinda and around thru the back roads. Not growing up here, I’m a bit clueless when it comes to the routes, however I am learning fast. There are some really great roads in the Bay area. Some were super windy which makes for a good time. Being mid-day it wasn’t too busy. I finding I like riding in smaller groups. It is easier to keep everyone together and makes for more fun over all. I usually play the sweeper [1]The last rider who keeps an eye out for everyone and makes sure no one gets left behind.

I remembered to bring my camera this time. Can ya tell? lol Don’t ask me how but my angle and shirt conspired to make me look 4 sizes larger than I am! I know for a fact because I bought my riding pants a size small on purpose and they fit now!

Anyway, I made the mistake of letting William get a hold of my camera and he went off on a bender taking Princess Barbie pics. [2]See the stream *Mental Note* Never let William near the camera.

I’m hoping to ride again before my vacation is over, however the Aids Life Cycle is this weekend and everyone is tied up with that. There are a couple different rides proposed for tomorrow so I’m bound to pick one. The biggest problem is getting my lazy ass up early enough to make it.

References

References
1 The last rider who keeps an eye out for everyone and makes sure no one gets left behind.
2 See the stream

Overheard…

…on the way home from the gym last night.

Boy 1: I just love those blue mailboxes. They make great back-crackers.

Boy 2: I’m a pretty good back-cracker myself.

Boy 1: Yeah, but I don’t have to make the mailbox breakfast.

*slap*

Ok, I thought it was funny.

Chitown

I made it back from Chicago last night in one piece. The flight home was mostly uneventful. I sat next to this straight couple. The guy happened to work for a company that supplies gear to police and fire personnel. I own a pair of their boots. He was already dozing by the time I sat down but the wife was a total chatty Katy. I did come away with a nice gift certificate for free gear though!

I had a good time in Chicago. Everyone seemed dramatically surprised I wasn’t staying the whole weekend for IML. [1]International Mr. Leather Well, I didn’t go for IML, I went to see the boy. I actually booked time off so I could go, but since I have yet to replace the roomie, I couldn’t really justify spending the money. Well, free airfare and a very inexpensive hotel room made it worth while. [2]God love my friends for hooking a brother up! The entire trip cost me less than 400 bucks.

I did hit a snag when I arrived at the B&B. First, there was no one to meet me. I had to go two doors down to a bar for my keys. Not the end of the world, B&B’s typically don’t have staff running onsite 24/7. The bartender was polite enough but kept getting customers and I stood there for about 15 minutes just waiting. Then, the outside door key to the hotel didn’t work. The final straw was when he opened the door to my room. The room was so tiny the rickety full-size bed totally dominated the space. Even worse, the room was smack in the middle of the living area, shared a wall with the office, and the bathroom was two doors down the hallway. Oh no no no, uh-huh, no sir, no-ma’am, no siree-bob, this would not do! I visualized my plans of some quality quiet time with the boy going down the toilet.

Continue reading Chitown

References

References
1 International Mr. Leather
2 God love my friends for hooking a brother up!

Flight

Well I arrived safely in Chicago. Actually, I’ve been here for some time. The boy is fast asleep (he is an early riser), but I couldn’t wait until the weekend was over to share this.

I typed this at 30,000 feet on my way to Chicago. The flights were very smooth with one interesting occurrence. Flying on a friend’s buddy pass, I had to hop from SF down to SD and then a connecting flight from SD to Chicago. No biggie as I’ve flown standby plenty of times and more than familiar with the process. Anyway, the first flight was short and sweet and I slept right thru it. The second flight looked to be iffy at best and I’d already assumed I wouldn’t make it. Luck seemed to be on my side though. I made the 2nd flight w/o any hiccups. It was a very full flight but I managed to keep my seat. Even better, since it was physically the same plane I’d just flown in on, I didn’t have to reboard and got to nab a much nicer seat in the exit row. [1]Exit rows always have more leg room. duh! A very sweet young girl from the OC ended up taking the lone seat next to me. She was friendly and we chatted awhile before settling into our own little realms of preoccupation, her on her mobile device playing Sudoku (spelling?) and me on my laptop.

Now here is where it gets a little interesting. Half way thru the flight, I suddenly feel a tap on my shoulder. One of the flight attendants (a very Barbie-esque woman) was telling me a “gentleman wants to buy you a drink”. I must have given here a dirty look as she repeated herself but softer. Being pulled from my distraction, I was a little perplexed but agreed not wanting to be rude. [2]Hey, I grew up in a trailer, you don’t refuse free shit, especially liquor! lol After my drink arrives I try to discover who it is that bought it for me. The stewardess said he wanted to remain anonymous. Of course, this drove me nuts. I kept turning my head around to see if I could catch someone staring or eyeballing me. There were definitely some hotties on the flight I would have been happy to make into new friends. A random woofy guy here and there, several army boys in their fatigues, and one very striking fembot. [3]a very feminine guy

Sadly, I never figured it out. None of the afore mentioned guys gave me a second glance thru the entire flight. I’m still scratching my head as to why someone would send me a drink but not want to at least be recognized. I tried to convince the flight attendant to tell me but she held fast and clearly I couldn’t get her alone on the plane to try and charm it out of her.

Oh well, I was very flattered. She did say right up front it was a guy so I can only assume he was gay. Mysterious man, if you are out there and on the off-chance read my blog, thanks for the drink bud. Nothing goes down quite as nice as free liquor!

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I was about to add more here at the end but the boy just rolled over and something “came up”.

References

References
1 Exit rows always have more leg room. duh!
2 Hey, I grew up in a trailer, you don’t refuse free shit, especially liquor! lol
3 a very feminine guy

Fly

Yeah, I know, I haven’t updated lately. I’ve been a bit busy.

Work was a bit stressful last week. The Union has been in negotiations with the City for a few months now. They City obviously is having a serious financial crisis and wants the Union(s) to give back. Without our contract being open, they can’t force it but the Union clearly understands if they don’t come to the table, the City turns to layoffs. Actually, the City has already given out almost 500 pink slips.

Last week the membership voted down the 2nd negotiated compromise. My understanding is there will be no more talks. With this latest offer being rejected, the City will most likely return to laying people off. I’m not worried for my own job but I am rather sad knowing more people will be getting pink slips in such a rough economy.

I’m a bit torn on the outcome of the last vote. At first thought, it seems like people are being greedy and selfish. And while that may be true to some extent, there is more to it. Many people are scared of giving back in tough times and I can’t fault them for that. And frankly, the City has pled poverty for so long now that they are in a true financial crisis, their pleas are falling on deaf ears. Things are going to get ugly in the next few weeks. *sigh*

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In somewhat exciting news, I went indoor skydiving this past weekend. One of the motorcycle groups I ride with decided to go and it was an awesome! Basically, its a 100 foot chamber surrounded by plexi-glass walls and a huge fan underneath. The floor is mesh wire. After instruction and suiting up, an instructor guides you to the edge and pulls you in and away you go! It is hard to describe the feeling of floating on nothing but air but it was an amazing experience. Besides having your face blown every which way, the sensations are hard to describe. I was a tiny bit apprehensive at first but upon arriving and seeing people in action, my fears melted away and I was all for it. I’m not sure I’d ever go skydiving for real but this was a good alternative. We all loved it and plan to go back and do it again soon.

There is a video coming but I’m waiting for William (links to a Facebook profile) to rip the disc and upload the files for all of us to share.

I could write more but getting sleepy and need to hit the sack. More to follow soon.

WWMD v3.2

So last month we talked about meeting new people in the plutonic sense.  This month is more about the intimate or sexual sense.  *This is a bit of an adult topic.*  I’m clearly very open about sex and see nothing wrong with it.  Not everyone fits the same mold and I fully understand that.  I do what works for me and so should you. 

Q: How do you meet new people for casual fun or possibly dating?

A: First and foremost, be yourself.  Have a clear idea what you are and are not looking for and stick to it.  Don’t be afraid to tell someone you are inexperienced or still discovering what floats your boat.  Some guys get off on that and it might make for even more fun.  If you are looking for someone to date, I highly recommend taking the plutonic approach and letting things build.  Don’t try to make everyone you meet into a potential boyfriend.  You’ve already prejudiced yourself if you do that. 

If you are more of a slut like me, then keep an open mind.  Not every booty calls has to remain that way.  If you find you have a good connection with someone, see where it leads.  It might start off as sex and turn into something more meaningful.  Either way, if you don’t feel a spark or connection, don’t lead the other guy on.  Besides saving you a lot of drama, it shows you have integrity. 

Again, I don’t recommend bars but if you must. . .  If you go out looking for nookie it is probably better if you go alone.  Or at the very least, have a clear understanding with your friend(s) that you are on the prowl.  I’d highly recommend not expecting to always score.  This often leads to either lame sex w/someone you aren’t really interested in or personal disappointment. [1]And yes, I realize sometimes easier said than done.  For safety reasons (and a little common sense), I’d recommend you have a buddy system.  Someone you can text, call, or email if you make plans to go home with someone.  Never hurts to take a modicum of precaution. lol  And for the love of crackers, if you are neg and wish to remain that way, do not let what a complete stranger tells you about their HIV status dictate what type of sex you have.  You should have a range of sexual activity you are comfortable doing regardless of a person’s status.  This avoids making poor decisions that may lead to very unpleasant consequences.  Ultimately, no one is responsible for your health but you.  And frankly, people lie!  Being in the moral right won’t do you much good if you seroconvert. 

If the bars are as unappealing to you as they are to me, there is online and of course, places that are geared for sex.  There are plenty of online sites out there focused on dating and/or hooking up.  Some are free, some charge.  I do find on most of the free sites the ratio of drama and frustration tends to be higher.  A buddy system works equally as well here.  Again, a little common sense goes along way.  And don’t fall into the lame ass trap that so many do.  Be honest about your desires, stats, and pics.  You may get less interest but the interest you do get will be legit.  Trust your instincts, if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. 

Depending on where you live, there are a variety of places you can go to find sex w/o all the online BS.  This, of course, is a comfort level.  Some people don’t enjoy sex clubs, some are too uncomfortable, some just can’t relax enough.  Ya never know unless you try.  Bookstores tend to be dirty and rather degrading.  However, there is a bit of fetish involved in such an anonymous hookup. [2]Depending on where you live, this also could be a little risky.  Sex clubs and baths are often a tad cleaner.  Sex clubs usually follow a theme or cater to certain fetish(es).  At the tubs you usually have the option of privacy and the ability to clean up before and/or after. heehee  Again, it depends on your comfort, what you are looking for, etc.   Myself, I like variety.

I don’t really recommend outdoor sex like parks, public restrooms and such.  Again, this tends to cater to a fetish however, public sex is still illegal in all 50 states.  If that floats your boat, just be prepared to deal with the consequences. 

Regardless, the goal here is to be creative and don’t limit yourself to one area. 

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Of course, my advice here assuming you are out and open.  Lying or deceiving a significant other is just bad karma and often comes back to bite you in the ass.  This is also assuming you aren’t one of those guys who constantly cloaks his booty calls under the term “dating”.  If you aren’t into random hookups, there is nothing wrong with that.  If you are, still nothing wrong with it.  What works for one may not work for all.  I’ll say it again, be honest with yourself about your desires, fantasies, wants, etc.  You won’t find fulfillment if you can’t learn to express yourself both emotionally and physically. 

References

References
1 And yes, I realize sometimes easier said than done.
2 Depending on where you live, this also could be a little risky.

Interest

So everyone is chomping at the bit for more news about "the boy". Actually, its been ages since a post on my blog generated so much feedback, online and off. I’ve even enjoyed the jibes from offline friends. First, I made a typo in the last post. He is 46 not 42. No, he didn’t deceive me, I knew his real age. Yes, we are still talking. No, I am not moving to LA nor is he moving here. [1]I’m not exactly sure how my last post conveyed anything like that.

It has been and continues to be an unusual experience for me. I’m enjoying it and I still find myself wanting to take on the role for the boy. He continues to be just as eager. We talk pretty much daily. I’m not really sure where things will evolve. Nor am I trying to force it into anything in particular. The boy has managed to show me parts of myself that I wasn’t even sure existed. For that, I will always be grateful.

One reader who is apparently deep into the scene has inferred that this will change my entire life and I’ll find myself subsumed by the role and scene. And while his inference (and advice) implies it to be a good thing, I humbly disagree. My focus thru this blog has always been about becoming a more well-rounded person. And while this experience has certainly been enlightening, I have no intention of molding myself into a pre-defined image of anything or anyone. Being well-rounded means recognizing parts of yourself and then reconciling those parts into the id as a whole. So don’t expect me to give up mani/pedi’s and/or start wearing leather full time. It ain’t gonna happen. lol

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Work was a bit busy last week. Besides normal workload increases for warm weather, our contract re-negotiations are coming to a close soon. Surmising a very long winded story, we had two offers so far. The irony was the first offer was a better offer but because it was overly complex, most employees were resoundingly against it. The feedback was so bad the Union didn’t even bring the offer to a vote. The City had gambled on playing hardball but when it realized how poorly it was going, they came back to the table for round two.

The second offer is simpler in design and seems to have much broader support even though we will be giving up a lot more than the first offer. If anything, it just goes to show that the ’mob mentality’ is still as strong as ever in our society. I get to spend all day tomorrow explaining the new offer to the membership. Joygasm!

References

References
1 I’m not exactly sure how my last post conveyed anything like that.