Warning, while not explicit, this post is also adult in nature. Click thru if you dare.

For a long while I was actually uncomfortable being referred to as a daddy.  IMHO, too many gay men today try way too hard to make themselves appear hyper-masculine instead of just being themselves. The end result is often a very laughable contradiction. I’ve often battled with the idea of masculinity because I previously fell prey to such stupid thinking and believed that I myself wasn’t masculine unless I represented the stereotype. I no longer have such illusions and no desire to mold myself into such a restrictive stereotype. That said, my interaction with the boy this weekend has clearly shown me that I have some ‘daddy’ tendencies. And even though I’ve never really felt like the stereotype, I’ve always tended to be aggressive during sex (regardless of position).

For me, sex has always been about the connection. When someone can naturally slip into a role, the energy is much more intense and I find that very erotic. I’ve always been able to tune into that energy very well. With the energy comes trust. I like knowing a guy puts his total trust in me not to hurt him.  I’m discovering said trust brings out my aggressive-but-tender side in force. You see, from my point of view sex is meant to be enjoyed by both parties and that takes a slightly different approach than the selfish “stick and shove” mentality. Having no relational aspect of pain and sex, I have no interest in inflicting pain on someone during sex. Don’t get me wrong, a little pain can be good and I clearly understand the line between the two can be blurred somewhat.  But there is a line and for myself it is a pretty clear line.  Once you reach it, the sex goes from enjoyable to not and we are done. If you continue, the outcome is not pleasant.¹

Ok, back to the weekend. A guy I met last year at the Bigmuscle party was in town from LA for the weekend. He had emailed recently, said he was coming to SF and wanted to see if I we could hang out. I didn’t think there was any real sexual interest. I just assumed we’d spend some time socializing. We met at the gym for a workout then hung out talking afterwards.

Fast forward 2 hours, we were going our separate ways, saying good bye and he gives me a very soft but passionate kiss. It surprised me as I was expecting a very typical polite kiss. This was my lead to kiss him again and again and again and again. *g* We stood on the street corner in broad daylight, oblivious to everyone around us, kissing for about 15 minutes.

The fact he was older (42 to be exact) was completely forgotten to me as it was so obvious he had the boy mentality. Not the whip and beat him sort of thing but just aggressively submissive to please me, if that makes any sense at all. I can’t really explain it but picking up on this seemed to bring the daddy-mode in me to the surface quick, fast, and in a hurry! We both had plans that evening, of which we both canceled so we could spend “time” together.²

When he arrived, his absolute eagerness and hunger was obvious. For the first time in a very long time, I found someone who’s intensity in sex equaled my own! That in itself was enough to guarantee a really hot time. The twist here is I was totally consumed with playing the daddy role for him. His raw energy was like an aphrodisiac to me and the fact he clearly wanted to be dominated and lead completely overwhelmed me.

About 10 minutes into it, he blurted out that from now on, “I was his daddy”. I took on the role without a second thought and owned it. From that moment on, I was his daddy and he was my boy. Not only that, I found myself wanting to be his daddy. There was this moment when he seemed to be almost crying he was so eager, hungry, and reaching out to me. He brought out traits in me I didn’t even know I had. And while I was my normal aggressive (and demanding) self, there was a tenderness in my approach that was very intimate for both of us. I found myself wanting to fuck, hold, please, dominate, hug, and kiss him all at the same time. Needless to say, over the next 3 hours we spent a lot of time exploring and enjoying each other (My sheets and even the padding were completely soaked in sweat). Even after the sex, we continued the roles somewhat and I couldn’t get enough of it. Nor could he it seemed. It was truly one of the most erotic experiences of my life.

*

We spent time together last night and then about an hour together this morning before he left. I’m still examining the mix of emotions and desires he brought out of me. If anything, it has shown me there is more to my id than I previously thought. That will take me some time for me to analyze.

As I mentioned, he lives in LA so it isn’t like we’ll be dating or spending a lot of time together. However, we continue to talk and text since he has left and his excitement and eagerness continues unabated. For my part, I have decided to take on the mantle of being his daddy and explore where it leads me.

1. The one guy who tried to force it one time got a punch to the nose for his effort.
2. He was so cute texting me several times, each time moving the time closer and closer.

I’m discovering having a distinctively unique tattoo makes it very easy for people to remember you. Of course, the down side to that could be, having a distinctive tattoo makes it very easy for people to remember you! lol

I’ve had several rather random occurrences since I got the ink on my arm. I thought I’d share one of the more memorable ones that happened today at the gym.

Today was cardio day. I’m done with my workout, showered, steamed, and getting dressed. There is a guy I’ve known on many occasion from Auntie bb’s (link NSFW) getting dressed not two feet from me. He never says hi to me at the gym and often looks me over once or twice and then moves on. I’ve always just assumed he was one of those guys.¹ I usually get what I want from him so I could care less anyway.

Well it turns out he isn’t one of those guys. I’m getting dressed and he leans over and comments on how much he likes my tattoo. He adds, "btw, I really like the way you s*** my c*** too". After thanking him and telling him how much I also enjoy it, sheer curiosity gets the better of me. I ask him why it has taken so long for him to ’fess up’. He gets a sheepish grin on his face and admits that he has poor vision and hates wearing glasses in public.² He further confided he never realized I was the same person until after I got the tattoo. You could have sold me for a quarter and got change back I was so surprised. I also owned up to my afore mentioned thoughts about him. We laughed and chatted for a bit longer before going our separate ways. I was running late and had to head off to work. I left with a big grin on my face though.

Oh, and we’re supposed to have a date this weekend.³ heehee

1. You know the type. They slurp and/or bounce all over your c*** in private and then act like they don’t know you in public.
2. Shame on me for projecting my own issues onto him.
3. on a side note, are you logged in?

In total unrelated nonsense, the GAVN awards were last night. And in case you aren’t hip to the acronym, its the Gay Adult Video Network awards. Oh yes, the porny boys have an award show too! I’m sure we could spend all day naming off specific…ahem…categories. Anyway, I got a full dose of the festivities Friday evening while waiting in the Castro for friends to arrive for dinner.

To be blunt, I was summarily unimpressed. A bunch of guys my age (or slightly younger) wearing way too much makeup,¹ smoking like chimneys, and prancing around trying to act/dress like they are still 21. While that may be appealing for some, I find it a bit on the gross side. I don’t think I’ve seen a single ‘star‘ all weekend I would sleep with given the opportunity. Now some of their admirers I’d nail in a heart beat. Anyway, it just confirmed my general thinking on porn today.

The industry today cares nothing about quality or content anymore. Gay porn is so contrived and staged as to be laughable. Instead, the industry is entirely focused on flash, marketing gimmicks, and beating the whole ‘straight but gay for pay‘ fetish to death. Yeah, the idea of sleeping with a straight guy might be appealing however, have you tried it? The sex is often very awkward and unfulfilling. And I hate to burst your bubble, but most of theses so called “straights” are 110% gay.

Myself, I tend to watch amateur clips on the web when the need arises (pun intended). Amateur work is far less contrived. And while the guys might not always be as buff, they are clearly intent on what they are doing. Actually, if I’m being totally honest, I tend to watch straight porn clips most of the time. You have no doubt most of these guys are clearly enjoying their “work” and proud of it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are some exceptions on both sides of the fence. I’m speaking in generalities at the moment.

I personally think this is one of the biggest reasons the porn industry is suffering huge financial losses at the moment.² The realness of sex is gone and people pick up on that. And morality aside, the whole barebacking genre is making money hand over fist (the puns just keep coming) right now. And not because safe sex is lame in comparison but because these companies seem to still be focused on showing desire and lust as much as making a buck. Don’t believe me? Pick up one of each at the video store and tell me which group of actors comes across as truly horny and lustful. The energy is dynamically different.³

For my final .02, porn companies need to get back to their roots. They need to show actors (I use that term loosely) who are clearly excited to be nailing each other. Knowing plenty of people in the industry in front and behind the camera, I could go on and on about the changes they should be making. The point here is they need to capture that raw animal lustfulness of sex that we all enjoyed so much growing up.

/rant

1. oh yes, they wear base or whatever its called
2. I won’t go into the gay porn industries refusal to embrace digital media as a form of distribution. That is a whole nother long winded topic.
3. And for the record, I am not condoning barebacking. If you are neg and wish to stay that way, you should always use a conom.

Continuing in my monthly updates of “What Would Moby Do?”, a question that seems to come up often with “newbies” to the world of gay.  I figured why not tackle it here and spread the word. lol

Q: How do you properly “prepare” for sex if you plan to be the bottom?

A: I find this to be a very problematic error for guys who either don’t know or are afraid to ask.  And let me tell ya fellas, as a guy who does like to top, a dirty bottom ruins the sex for me.  We are pretty much done if you can’t clean yourself in advance. 

The simplest answer is douche.  It is by far the most effective method.  If you don’t have privacy issues or other “concerns”, I highly recommend getting a shower attachment.

Easy to install and provides a clean, safe environment for doing the “job” effectively.  If you are overly tight, it often comes with a couple of different sized attachments.  You can also grease it up a bit w/lube.¹ 

If that doesn’t work for you, there are always portable and easy to obtain Fleet enemas from your neighborhood drugstore.  They come with or without fragrance.  Clean water is best.  Buying might be a bit awkward but I believe you can also buy them online in bulk.  Same premise as above but less confining to your home.  Of course, there are a variety of portable reusable bulbs² on the market you can choose from as well. 

There is what I call the “rhythm method” but I don’t recommend it.  This basically involves knowing your biological cycle and trying to avoid anytime that might be problematic.  This really doesn’t guarantee success, if you catch my meaning.

Fasting does help obviously.  It takes between 7-12 hours for your body to process a meal all the way thru to completion.  If you have some hot fun planned, you can use it in conjunction with the options above.  Being someone who loves to eat, this never works for me.

Grossed out?  That may be, but imagine the alternative of not knowing. lol  Now you KNOW!  You have no excuse for being a dirty bottom anymore. 

1. Be warned, lube in the shower can be tricky! Take it from someone who KNOWS! LOL
2. imagine a bulb used for removing ear wax, but for the other end.