Bulk

*A bit of an adult rant today, if you’re logged in there will be a more detailed follow up*

I had a really hot encounter this past weekend. It started out with a buddy I’ve known for years. We’ve played around a few times off and on. Well, for whatever reason he decided to make it a 3-way this past weekend.

The point of my little ramble is about mind-set. While my buddy is a tad taller and more built than I, his friend was quite the muscle..meaning he was built.1 And I do mean built, you could put me and my buddy together and we’d almost make up the big guy. He is what I often refer to as a meathead. lol

Anyway, when my buddy orignally texted me his friend’s pic I admit I got a little intimidated. While I’m not the scrawny boy of yesteryear, I’m still not huge by any stretch of the imagination. And honestly, big boys usually go for other big boys (barring the rare exception). So as I’m driving over I’m a tad nervous because this guy is huge. While I can offer certain skills, one would think those are easy to obtain elsewhere. hehehe Having had experience with my buddy I knew deep down he wouldn’t have invited me if it was an issue.

As I’m driving over I start chastizing myself for feeling so stupid. One of my axioms in life is “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” I got really frustrated with myself for getting so anxious. While there would have been a time when my on insecurity would have prevented me from going thru it, I’m not the man anymore. I’m 41 years old for Peet’s sake. I’m a big enough boy to admit my shortcomings while also realizing my assets. What was the absolute worst thing that could happen? I could get there, the meathead wouldn’t be into me, and I’d leave. The end. None of which demeans or makes me “less” in anyway.

As my internalized anger increased, my timidness had all but evaporated by the time I arrived at my buddy’s place.2 I walked in with no expectations and was prepared to have fun. Upon meeting the big guy I could tell immediately 1) he was shy, 2) he was just as nervous as I had been. If you read my footnote above you’ll know I made the first move and it worked flawlessly. In moments I had taken complete control of the situation and was leading by what I wanted and expected.

Needless to say, it turned out to be an awesome time! Some of the body mechanics were a bit of a challenge *ahem* if you know what I mean. hehehe

  1. Ironically, he would normally be someone I’d admire but would never chase because they were too big. []
  2. A little side-note, I taught myself a long time ago when I’m nervous instead of retreating, step bolding forward. You’d be amazed how much that changes the game. lol []

Interest

So everyone is chomping at the bit for more news about "the boy". Actually, its been ages since a post on my blog generated so much feedback, online and off. I’ve even enjoyed the jibes from offline friends. First, I made a typo in the last post. He is 46 not 42. No, he didn’t deceive me, I knew his real age. Yes, we are still talking. No, I am not moving to LA nor is he moving here.1

It has been and continues to be an unusual experience for me. I’m enjoying it and I still find myself wanting to take on the role for the boy. He continues to be just as eager. We talk pretty much daily. I’m not really sure where things will evolve. Nor am I trying to force it into anything in particular. The boy has managed to show me parts of myself that I wasn’t even sure existed. For that, I will always be grateful.

One reader who is apparently deep into the scene has inferred that this will change my entire life and I’ll find myself subsumed by the role and scene. And while his inference (and advice) implies it to be a good thing, I humbly disagree. My focus thru this blog has always been about becoming a more well-rounded person. And while this experience has certainly been enlightening, I have no intention of molding myself into a pre-defined image of anything or anyone. Being well-rounded means recognizing parts of yourself and then reconciling those parts into the id as a whole. So don’t expect me to give up mani/pedi’s and/or start wearing leather full time. It ain’t gonna happen. lol

*

Work was a bit busy last week. Besides normal workload increases for warm weather, our contract re-negotiations are coming to a close soon. Surmising a very long winded story, we had two offers so far. The irony was the first offer was a better offer but because it was overly complex, most employees were resoundingly against it. The feedback was so bad the Union didn’t even bring the offer to a vote. The City had gambled on playing hardball but when it realized how poorly it was going, they came back to the table for round two.

The second offer is simpler in design and seems to have much broader support even though we will be giving up a lot more than the first offer. If anything, it just goes to show that the ’mob mentality’ is still as strong as ever in our society. I get to spend all day tomorrow explaining the new offer to the membership. Joygasm!

  1. I’m not exactly sure how my last post conveyed anything like that. []

Doh!

I have a little confession to make.  I sorta met someone recently.  No, not the beefy guy. Actually, I met this guy before the beefy guy but only off and on and mostly in the carnal sense. While on the beefy side as well, he has more of a humpy corn fed look.1  I’m sure I don’t need to fill in the details.  I’ll just say we seemed to be a good “fit”.  And with the beefy guy out of the picture, corn fed boy has been a nice distraction, to say the least.

We’ve spent about 5 nights together off/on over the last 2 weeks. I know, shame on me for not spilling the beans earlier.  With everything else as of late, I just didn’t get around to blabbing about it, sue me.  Plus, as I said, things weren’t serious.  However, I was beginning to get the impression things might take a more serious route.  Well that is until tonight.  After a very hot couple rounds of sex, he tells me he has been seeing someone else and has to stop playing around with me. WTF?  I guess things are getting a little more serious with the other guy.  Talk about a kick in the teeth. 

I can handle him choosing the other guy over me, but his total selfish approach hit me a bit wrong. To add insult to injury, I had invited him to a party with me tonight.2  Obviously, that didn’t happen. My mood was a bit soured so I ended up sitting at home polishing off a box of girl scout cookies, a chicken/cheese bagel, and two cups of pudding.

I’m over it now.  The good news is I’ll make it to the gym nice and early tomorrow to work off the billion calories I consumed tonight. 

As the ever famous Hateful Helen would say, “NEXT!”

  1. Not to mention, an ass so plump and juicy it would make you sit up and beg. []
  2. Rob, sorry I didn’t make it. []

Goose Pimples

Yours truly, met someone new today!  I know, surprise! heh heh

While I don’t have a set type, I do have an affinity for guys that look rough on the outside and soft on the inside.  I ran into a guy at the gym today who I think fits that mold to a T.  lol  Actually, I ran into him in the steam room.  No, nothing happened.  Well, not exactly.  We broke the cardinal room of steam rooms, we talked! lol  I got the distinct pleasure of watching one old codger get all huffy and storm out.  But I digress…

I’ve seen him a few times before but being significantly more muscular than I am, I didn’t really think I’d be his type.  Apparently, I might be wrong.  He is about my height, muscled, hairy, several tattoos, bald head, and a very nice smile.1  Yeah, that sounds hot and he was but the most significant (and endearing) thing about him was his frank and open demeanor, a trait I find very attractive in others.  And frankly, it is a bit hard to find in a city like SF.  I often sort of reign myself in when meeting someone new as I can be a little intense sometimes.  I didn’t really feel the need while we were chatting and he seemed just as at ease. 2

Never being the shy one, I gave him my card and he said he’d get in touch.  I know how that goes.  I’m always of the mind nothing ventured, nothing gained.  Well, true to his word, he emailed me and we are supposed to hang out this weekend.  

Wish me luck!?

  1. a nice smile gets me every time! []
  2. Am I swooning? lol  Ok, ok, I thought he was hot too! []