Me Man, You Woman…oomf oomf!

Thanks to Johnny is a Man for the fantastic link to this post. By far, one of the most eloquent statements I’ve ever read. While a bit on the derogatory side, it summed up a huge chunk of how I feel about internalized homophobia in our community.

(snip)
This Rocco queen is pissing me off. He’s currently trotting out little more than a kernal of experience (along with several dollops of resentment towards the gay community) as evidence supporting the same tired, warmed-over horseshit about how uppity gays who get bashed were really asking for it because they weren’t walking around in a constant state of siege.

(snip)
Basically he’s saying that gays have gotten uppity, let their guard down, and should simply accept the fact that if they behave too much like “fags,” they shouldn’t be surprised when they get bashed. And how reassuring an argument it is that all you need to do to prevent getting bashed is butch it up, and if you can’t or won’t conform to the macho code, tough shit.

Having heard the issue of masculinity beaten to and fro like an old dog it’s refreshing to see a better perspective. More and more we (as gays) are beginning to see beyond the shallow confines of the implied prerequisites of being a “man” in this country.

Good Ole Texas!

Ok, so that’s normally not something I say often. Let’s face it, Texas doesn’t have the best reputation when it comes to being “open minded”. So it is w/no small amount of pride that I offer today’s tidbit. Thanks to Towleroad for catching the story.

Apparently, there is one ‘christian’ legislator who has had enough of all the hate-mongering. They passed the despicable amendment but god love her for calling a deuce a deuce!

I have served in this body a lot of years, and I have seen a lot of promises broken… So… now that blacks and women have equal rights, you turn your hatred to homosexuals, and you still use your misguided reading of the Bible to justify your hatred. You want to pass this ridiculous amendment so you can go home and brag — brag about what? Declare that you saved the people of Texas from what

(snip)
If you want to make your hateful political statements then that is one thing — but the Chisum amendment does real harm. It repeals the contracts that many single people have paid thousands of dollars to purchase to obtain medical powers of attorney, powers of attorney, hospital visitation, joint ownership and support agreements. You have lost your way. This is obscene…

“I thought we would be debating economic development, property tax relief, protecting seniors’ pensions and stem cell research to save lives of Texans who are waiting for a more abundant life. Instead we are wasting this body’s time with this political stunt that is nothing more than constitutionalizing discrimination. The prejudices exhibited by members of this body disgust me

It is nice to know there are some respectable folks left in politics. Even in Texas.

Hon! Have You Seen My Morals?

I often find that conversations involving morality (and monogamy but thats another rant ) always seem to end up in a bitch fight. Neither side is willing to listen or relent and both end up vehemently attacking the other.

I’m trying to collect my thoughts to make this rant sound coherent but ideas keep colliding w/each other so I’ll ask you to bear w/me. . . I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m tired of the factions within the gay community constantly at war w/each other. One side uses their morality as a shield w/their self-righteous speeches proclaiming they’re superiority because they have morality on their side. The other side uses their sexual freedom as an ax to chop away at the traditions society has built up for years and years. Yet, neither side really tries to listen to the other. No one tries to find a middle ground. It’s always “my way or the highway!” Ya know what folks, that same attitude is what has this country in the political quandry its in today!

I still feel like I’m still missing my point. Maybe I can focus on the term itself.

Morality is defined as

1. descriptively to refer to a code of conduct put forward by a society or,
1. some other group, such as a religion, or
2. accepted by an individual for her own behavior or
2. normatively to refer to a code of conduct that, given specified conditions, would be put forward by all rational persons.

At first read, both definitions sound the same. If you read it that way, re-read it until you see the difference. It is pointless to read further until you understand the above definitions differences.

*ok I stopped here out of frustration. I couldn’t find the right words so after several hours of reading, I found what I was trying to say, albeit not so elegantly.*

…. it is not useful to adopt a definition of “morality” as meaning the code of conduct accepted by the members of a society because in many large societies, not all members of the society accept the same code of conduct. Nor is it useful to adopt a somewhat more general definition of “morality” as the code of conduct accepted by the members of a group because it is not only always possible, it is often the case, that not all members of any group accept the same code. A natural outcome of these problems is to switch attention from groups to individuals. If what is important is what code of conduct people accept, and members of a group do not always accept the same code of conduct, then why be concerned with groups at all?

This consideration leads to a new descriptive sense of “morality.” “morality” is taken to mean that guide to behavior that is regarded by an individual as overriding and that he wants to be universally adopted. [See R. M. Hare, Moral Thinking] In this sense of “morality,” it refers to a guide to behavior accepted by an individual rather than that put forward by a society or any other group. But “morality” does not refer to just any guide to behavior accepted by an individual, it is that guide to behavior that the individual adopts as his overriding guide, and wants everyone else to adopt as their overriding guide as well. This sense of “morality” is a descriptive sense, because a person can refer to an individual’s morality without endorsing it. In this sense, like the original descriptive sense, morality has no limitations on content. Whatever guide to behavior an individual regards as overriding and wants to be universally adopted is that individual’s morality.

This quote was taken direclty from Standford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Now we are getting somewhere! The picture once fuzzy becomes clear. (well at least for me.) We begin to see that morality is an ambiguous term at best. How can we expect to come together as a group if we are all focusing on our morality instead of our equality. It should be quite clear that we’ll never have the same morality as those who oppose and hate us.

If we don’t learn to move beyond our multi-cultural/racial views on morality, frankly folks, I think we are doomed as a species.

Well, I’ve beat this horse to death so I’m moving on now. Discuss, comment, or bitch as you will.

No Tramp Zone

I’ve been catching up on my blogrolling and I stumbled across Dunner’s posts on gays and public sex. On his first rant, I think he sorta failed to explain himself. I guess after a spirited debate he decided to clarify his positon. On his second rant, he is much more to the point. That said, I still think he is missing the bigger picture.

First off, I have a lot of respect for Dunner and he is one of my favorite reads. I often find his rants to be very insightful and fair minded. I’m usually in agreement w/him on most topics. I think he is more articulate than I am which only serves to increase my interest. That said, I do find at times, like today, our opinions differ. I think it has a lot to do w/age. Granted at 34, I’m only 10 years his senior. But 1o years on the hard side of life can be a good teacher. From what I’ve read of Dunner, his life, while not w/o tribulations, has been blissful by my own standards. If anything, I’ve learned that when it comes to life and society, there is never an easy answer or quick fix as it were.

In a nutshell, Dunner states that if we ever expect society as a whole to accept us then we have to curtail our promiscuity in public.

It’s the same reason why we need to expose hypocrites like Jim West, politicians who spit antigay rhetoric and then expect pity when they own up to their homosexual behavior. If we create a society where it’s clear that gay relationships and gay sexuality are to be as respected as their straight counterparts, life will be easier for all homosexuals, and true equality will be found. But if we’re to expect to gain equal respect for gay sexuality, we gotta cut out the tomfoolery in the public steam room and instead find healthy ways to express it.

As I see it, that is sorta putting the horse before the wagon. If we are still battling for the right to even get married, how can we expect to “find healthy ways to express it.” Our over zealous need for sexual release stems from our constant repression. So from my perspective, we have to fix the problem itself before we can work on fixin the symptoms it has created.

Pop on over and have a read if you haven’t already. Andymatic also weighs in on the subject. What say you?

Marry Me?

This past Sunday I got a chance to watch the first showing of “Pursuit of Equality“. Made here in SF, the film documents the controversy of Mayor Newsom allowing SSC’s (same sex couples) to marry this past year. It has not been released yet as the producers have yet to find a distributor. Anyway, 5 minutes into the film, I’m bawling my eyes out. The sheer joy on the faces of the couples gathered at City Hall that day were just overwhelming. Watching the first lesbian couple, who have been together 52 years, exchange their vows in the Mayors office was a truly historic event.

I urge you to see it is picked up. I’m sure it will be part of the film festivals around the country. Spend the bucks and see it!

Micro Bigot XP

Just in time for 2006 Micro Bigot XP!
Credit goes to Pam’s House Blend for the artwork and to Ameriblog for the link

Haven’t you heard? Microsoft has done away w/its new operating system Longhorn for a much more ‘christian-friendly’ version dubbed Microbigot XP. Don’t worry fellow ‘mo’s. It is only on-sale to ‘god-fearing-bible-thumping-wackos’. No more updates, no more viruses ever. Why? Well, since it is based on good wholesome ‘family values’ there won’t be any need. Besides, who needs a virus protection program when Jehovah is on your side? You can just open up your bank account and “tithe” accordingly and remain virus free.

All I have to say is FUCK YOU Microshit! They actually think that this shitstorm is gonna blow over if they pretend like it was all a ‘misunderstanding’. Riiiiiiiiiight!

In case you are completely clueless as to what I’m talking about, check out Ameriblog on the scandal. The short version: Billy & CO originally endorsed the bill to end discrimination against gays/lesbians and then lo and behold after a meeting w/ONE christian fanatic and being threatened w/a boycott, Microsoft suddenly never meant to endorse the bill. They are only neutral. *This neutrality effectively killed the bill* Then the “official” excuse by CEO Steve Palmer was down right insulting in its blatant disregard for the facts, past and present. The real pisser is he actually never thought it would go public and make a big deal. Of course, now the more they try and rationalize it away the bigger it is going to get. lol

I guess we aren’t the only ones w/an ‘agenda’.

Man Smells or Stank?

I guess I’m on a bitch fest this week.

Something I’ve noticed while living here. It is one of the few things that annoys me about SF. There is this trend it seems of guys being into ‘pits, man smells, etc.’ While I love a a fresh pit, I’ve discovered most of these folks are referring to not bathing. I’m not a big cologne person. It is just not conducive to the climate here to wear lots of cologne. That said, I bath often, use a low smell deodorant, and the rest is el natural. I’ll be the first to admit I love the smell of a guy after a fresh workout and he is all sweaty. I think many (I’m guessing) will agree it is a turnon. However, that same smell tainted by bacteria and stale sweat four days later is NOT.

I bring it up because I’m standing in Daddybucks yesterday waiting my turn for the restroom. This tiny old leathery wrinkled looking thing comes saddling up next to me in line. Forgetting for a moment, he is eyeing me up/down as if I’m to be his next meal, I’m all for niceties. We exchanged “hello, great day out, blah blah blah” and then the stench of him hit me. OMG! I literally thought I was gonna puke. This guy was as ripe as they come. I scooted away to get myself out of his range. Needless to say it didn’t work. Thank the fates I was next in line and quickly escaped.

Yesterday wasn’t my first encounter w/said phenomena however, it got me to wondering how the hell do people get stuck on quirks like this?

Scouts Honor!

Following up on breaking ignunce in the news this week, The Head Scout is pleading guilty. Karma has a funny way of kicking ass and I just love it. The fuck is getting exactly what he deserves! (story)

(snip)
Top Scout Pleads Guilty In Kid Porn Case…

…(Fort Worth, Texas) A former official of the Boy Scouts of America is facing up to 20 years in prison after pleading guilty Wednesday to charges of possession and distribution of child pornography.

…Last fall Smith wrote a letter to a legal magazine criticizing opponents of the gay ban. “Some intolerant elements in our society want to force scouting to abandon its values and to become fundamentally different,” he wrote.

…Smith who lives in Colleyville, near Fort Worth, remains free until sentencing July 12. In addition to prison time he could be fined up to $250,000.

And get this, he chose to retire. DUH! I wonder what kind of retirement plan Hunstville State Prison offers? hmmmm?

Multiple Dating

I cross posted this from my tribe. I got some great and honest responses so I thought I’d post here as well and see what you folks think.

So heres a question. Can you or do you date more than one guy at the same time?

I’ve never been able to pull it off successfully. I know in the straight world it seems perfectly acceptable to have multiple suitors until one is chosen. However, I always end up feeling guilty and two-faced and it ALWAYS seems to happen to me.

I met a really nice guy a week or so back and we’ve just begun getting to know each other. I then run into another guy at the gym and we hit it off as well. Now the second guy wants to start dating as well.

Of course, TH is the one I was referring to. And if I had to go just on looks, I’d go for TH as he just does it for me in that area.

I probably over analyzing it but I made a promise to myself this year that I would take care of me first. Should I play the field and see whats out there? I usually just end up feeling so damned guilty as if I’m cheating. My best friend T usually says, “unless there is a ring on my finger, I’m still single and that means I can go out w/whoever.” Well, true but I’m not built that way.

This sorta goes back to my “Good Man” post. I try to be a good guy because I know thats what I want in return. And I wouldn’t want some guy I’m into two-timing w/someone else. And for clarity, I’m not referring to sex. Sex is so easy to find in this city. Its like pizza, you can go online and order in. I’m talking about the emotional aspects.

I’ve already made up my mind on how I plan to proceed but I’d love some feedback. (Write it down folks, Moby is actually ASKING for help!)

You Should Die Because Your Bad

I left my first derogatory comment on someone’s blog today. But it wasn’t directed toward the owner, nay. It was directed towards a very insensitive fuck who thinks he has the right to say someone deserves to die over having bad habits. I know, I know, “moby your rambling again, please focus and explain.” Well, I’m getting there, keep your panties on.

Feeling a bit euphoric from such a great evening, I was trying to catch up on my blogroll. I’m scrolling thru Andymatic, whom I love reading, and I come across this post about the San Diego Diocese blocking a catholic funeral because the deceased was gay and owned a gay night club. I’m not surprised at this point until I’m reading the comments and schmucko aka Mark Ness left this lovely comment.

# Mark Ness Says:
March 19th, 2005 at 3:10 pm

John died of a drug overdose, not congestive heart failure. Anyone in the ‘industry’ knows what really happened here.

While I don’t agree with the Diocese in this case, the guy got what was coming.

Of course, he didn’t leave an email or web address. I can only surmise because his balls are about the size of snow peas but I digress.

Let me first say, anyone who knows me, knows I have zero tolerance for drug use. I can honestly say I’ve never even smoked a joint and I have no desire too. I make no secret about the fact that I have zero respect for people who use drugs. I also have the greatest respect for people who realize the destructiveness of what their doing and clean up their act. Point made? Having no respect for someone in no way translates into saying I think they deserve to die. I’ve only wished death on one person in my life and I’m sure the very few of you who have been with me since the beginning of my blog can guess who.

I can’t help but be reminded of the Lord of the Rings. I know its a cheesy reference but I find the statement very relevant here. The quote goes almost like this

“..many live that deserve to die. Many die that deserve to live. Do you have the power to give the latter their life back?”

So my point to you Mr. Goody-two-shoes, is don’t be so quick to deal out such harsh judgment to people, gay or straight. The same comments have been made about gays and PWA’s too often for my liking. By making this horrible statement, you sink to the level of the very hate-mongers we oppose.

Enough said? Good, moving on….