Stinker III

I think I endangered my immortal soul yesterday (again).

I ran into some Mormon missionaries on the MUNI.  I asked one of them if I could take a picture.  He asked, "why?".  I said, "because I thought you people were extinct.

He didn’t take it so well.  I’m sure I’m going to hell for poking fun at him but I figure since I’m "doomed" anyway, I might as well earn my place.

Ok, I know it was probably bad karma.  But I couldn’t resist myself.  I figure if they are allowed to go door to door harassing people and spewing their ignorance, I should be allowed to poke fun. 

Pissy Missy II

Continuing in my week of sermons and “told ya so’s”. I guess I pissed more than a few people1 off yesterday with my rant about the late (not so great) Jerry Falwell. Not only did I rant here but, I also chimed in all over the blogosphere regarding his welcome demise. I also got about 20 emails from my comments on Joe.my.god’s blog2.

Let me attempt to set the record straight for all the would-be Moby converts. (yeah right)

  • 1. I am not a christian so I’m not a hypocrite.
  • 2. Nor do I believe in your made up superstitious tourist attraction aka hell so save your well wishes on my not-so-safe journey there.
  • 3. I never said I hated him, I’m just glad he is dead. I celebrate his death just as I would Hitlers if I’d been alive at the time.
  • 4. If karms exists, he’ll come back as a poverty stricken black woman struggling to just get ahead in life or even better, a muslim woman in the middle east. Then he’ll get a taste first hand what it means to be a minority or considered property vs. human.
  • 5. I don’t know his family nor do they read my blog. But, did they worry about my feelings when JF blamed every natural disaster in the last 10 years on my people? Nope.
  • 6. Where were your cries of rage when Mathew Shepard was murdered? How bout Qwen? Or, how about the black guy who was dragged to his death behind a pick up truck until his head popped off? Where were you and your beloved JF then? You were standing in judgment. Well the shoe is on the other foot now. I ask you, who is really the hypocrite here?

No, you will find no sympathy here. My sympathy has been all used up on the thousands of gays/lesbians/minorities across the country JF condemned to 2nd class citizenship in his never-ending crusade of intolerance. The bible says “an eye for an eye” after all.3 No, you will only find relief here at the Moby Files. Another wicket and viscious tyrant is dead and the world heaves a collective sigh of joy.


1 Bless their hearts and God bless my spam karma plugin for catching every single one of their love messages. lol
2 His post regarding JF made it on a rather nasty “christian” website of which, I will not link too here.
3 See, I can misquote it too.

There is a God

And he does smite his enemies. I know I’m late to the party but I just found out Jerry Falwell is dead. I say good riddance to bad rubbish. What an insidious and evil man he was. I’m not normally someone who would celebrate a death however, the world is a better place w/o him spewing his vile filth over the air waves.

I personally think it was his conscience that killed him.

Gay or Straight

With all the news surrounding Haggard in the news right now, a striking revelation hit me. Why is it when bible-thumpers are preaching and bringing their damnation down upon us, we are predators. Yet, someone like Haggard comes out and it’s back to an affliction.

You constantly hear how we are trying to recruit or convert more people to our side1. If it were that easy to convert to being gay don’t you think you’d see a much higher success rate in the reverse? Brainwashing groups liked Exodus2claim” they can “cure you” of being gay3. Well, one of my best friends almost killed himself while in their program. Their “cure” is to teach you to hate the world and to hate yourself. Everything has a sinister purpose. You are taught to withdraw and cut yourself off from the world. How in the hell is that healthy? It’s no wonder so many drop out. Anyway, I’m getting off topic. So, it’s a choice. Yet, when someone as respected and widely known as Haggard comes out with “I have been warring against it for all of my adult life“, suddenly it’s not a choice anymore. Suddenly, it’s an affliction again. IMHO, It’s just more double-speak. Double-speak that seems to be taught like a 2nd lanuage when you are religious leader. I hate to admit it but I’m losing more and more respect for the “christian” community. I’ve always been one to “live and let live” however, there is a line approaching in the sand. A line that says “no more”. You can no longer use ignorance and fear to oppress people. And you can no longer hide behind your “religion” as an excuse to relegate whole sections of the population to 2nd class status. You can no longer use “religion” to keep women as slaves. You can no longer use “religion” as a shield to give you cart blance say over those around you.

There is a shift occurring in this country right now. More and more people are shifting away from mainstream religion. And it’s their own fault. Religion is dying not because of gays. It’s dying because its leaders have failed to evolve and keep up. Human beings don’t even relate to each other in the same ways anymore. You can’t use the threat of fire and brimstone to control the masses anymore. You can’t hide behind constant denial of the self. Mark my words. A day is coming and it’s coming soon. We are facing a holy war in this country. But not between the God and the devil. We are facing a war between ourselves. The “right” that allows us to spread hate and the “right” that refuse to put up with such behavior.


1 Forgetting for a moment, most gay children come from straight households.

2 I refuse to even link to such stupidity.

3 What they neglect to tell you is there obismal success rate.

Liar, Liar…

…Pants On Fire.

I was the unfortunate witness to the head of Focus on the Family flat out lie on the Bill OReilly show today. Where is the moral outrage from all the “christians” out there? OH wait, I forgot, when their folks lie it’s called “point of view”.

Even here in SF, there are a lot of folks who don’t really care for “my kind.” While they’d never say it out loud, they routinely vote their conscience to keep me a 2nd class citizen. I’m just always surprised by their selective morality. When they fight for a cause, it’s god’s will. When we fight for a cause, it’s evil or wicked. And nothing like pesky facts will be allowed to get in the way. I mean according to FOF marriage has been a sacred institution between one man an one woman for over 5000 years. I guess polygamy sanctioned by religion doesn’t count. Tut-tut, silly faggot, what was I thinking?

God? Are you there, it’s me Moby

*This entry involves religion and could be viewed as offensive. If you have an open mind or are at least willing to test your convictions, read on. Otherwise, don’t say I didn’t warn you.*

After reading my blog entry, a casual friend I ran into today offered to “pray” for me. I politely explained I found his idea of prayer alien and not at all comforting. I find the common day “christian” version of God to be insulting and limited by it’s very nature; a failed construct that only serves to hinder us. I know he was just being kind. However, the older I get the less inclined I am to gloss over people’s ignorant but well-intentioned behavior. (And by use of the term ignorant, I am in no way trying to be mean.)

I grew up “godless” you could say. My family claimed a belief in god but didn’t really have a denomination of choice. The most popular in the area were southern baptist, church of christ, and pentacostal. Yeah, three very diverse, and at times, charasmatic denominations. As I began to struggle w/my burgeoning sexuality, I also began a quest to find god. All I found was a lot of pandering, lip service, and hypocricy. No one could answer (or even conceive of the notion) how god could first create me this way and then punish me for it. It wasn’t until this incident that I began to look beyond what I was being told. I even took theology in college in an attempt to “track god down”. My first discovery came in the realization of gross similarities between stories of the bible and stories from mythology. Even more disillusioning, the deliberate mistranslations of the bible into english surrounding homosexuality. The final straw came when I realized if I could discover such a fundamental truth, the religious “authorities” had to know as well. Which meant they were propagating and protecting a pack of lies. I abandoned the traditional view of god all together after that. (I also dropped theology as my minor.)
Continue reading God? Are you there, it’s me Moby

Target Responds…

**This is a long one today folks. If you don’t care to hear it, skip on down. **

So I finally got a response from Target today. (I ranted about Target allowing pharmacist’s to refuse filling prescriptions if it conflicted w/their “religious beliefs”.) While I still don’t quite agree w/their approach, I am heartened to know there are some limitations to this so called allowance. Here is the email I got to today in it’s entirety.

Dear Target Guest

In our ongoing effort to provide great service to our guests, Target consistently ensures that prescriptions for the emergency contraceptive Plan B are filled. As an Equal Opportunity Employer, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 also requires us to accommodate our team members’ sincerely held religious beliefs.

In the rare event that a pharmacist’s beliefs conflict with filling a guest’s prescription for the emergency contraceptive Plan B, our policy requires our pharmacists to take responsibility for ensuring that the guest’s prescription is filled in a timely and respectful manner, either by another Target pharmacist or a different pharmacy.

The emergency contraceptive Plan B is the only medication for which this policy applies.
Under no circumstances can the pharmacist prevent the prescription from being filled, make discourteous or judgmental remarks, or discuss his or her religious beliefs with the guest.

Target abides by all state and local laws and, in the event that other laws conflict with our policy, we follow the law.

We’re surprised and disappointed by Planned Parenthood’s negative campaign. We’ve been talking with Planned Parenthood to clarify our policy and reinforce our commitment to ensuring that our guests’ prescriptions for the emergency contraceptive Plan B are filled. Our policy is similar to that of many other retailers and follows the recommendations of the American Pharmacists Association. That’s why it’s unclear why Target is being singled out.

We’re committed to meeting the needs of our female guests and will continue to deliver upon that commitment.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Hanson
Target Executive Offices

I always like to get both sides to a story before I go off on a rampage. It is disappointing to see they do in fact allow it to happen. They try to make nicey nicey w/the part about making sure the prescription gets filled by someone. Well, it just ain’t right in my book. Supposedly, it only applies to contraceptives of a certain type but I have a sneaky suspicion in rural areas this rule takes on a whole new meaning.

I rarely get to Target (tar-zshay) anymore as we don’t have one here in SF. However, I often buy things from their website. I can’t say if that will continue knowing that they allow such despicable behavior. Even if it is only having to due w/contraceptives.

Micro Bigot XP

Just in time for 2006 Micro Bigot XP!
Credit goes to Pam’s House Blend for the artwork and to Ameriblog for the link

Haven’t you heard? Microsoft has done away w/its new operating system Longhorn for a much more ‘christian-friendly’ version dubbed Microbigot XP. Don’t worry fellow ‘mo’s. It is only on-sale to ‘god-fearing-bible-thumping-wackos’. No more updates, no more viruses ever. Why? Well, since it is based on good wholesome ‘family values’ there won’t be any need. Besides, who needs a virus protection program when Jehovah is on your side? You can just open up your bank account and “tithe” accordingly and remain virus free.

All I have to say is FUCK YOU Microshit! They actually think that this shitstorm is gonna blow over if they pretend like it was all a ‘misunderstanding’. Riiiiiiiiiight!

In case you are completely clueless as to what I’m talking about, check out Ameriblog on the scandal. The short version: Billy & CO originally endorsed the bill to end discrimination against gays/lesbians and then lo and behold after a meeting w/ONE christian fanatic and being threatened w/a boycott, Microsoft suddenly never meant to endorse the bill. They are only neutral. *This neutrality effectively killed the bill* Then the “official” excuse by CEO Steve Palmer was down right insulting in its blatant disregard for the facts, past and present. The real pisser is he actually never thought it would go public and make a big deal. Of course, now the more they try and rationalize it away the bigger it is going to get. lol

I guess we aren’t the only ones w/an ‘agenda’.

Ideology of Theology.

How is that for a play on words? *g*

The ex and I got together to swap out some furniture early Sunday. (ok, early for me which is noonish) It was pretty uneventful up until we discovered my bed frame isn’t a full/queen hybrid as I’d thought. So the mattress provided by the ex didn’t fit. For the moment, I’m reduced to having a boxspring/mattress on the floor until we can get together again to swap out the rest of his stuff w/another frame for me. He was very kind enough to donate a frame. I am grateful.

Sunday seems to be turning into a regular blogging session for a small gang of buddies. This past Sunday was no exception. Later in the day, I found myself in the Castro at Le Bon Gateau hanging out w/Mostovic, Norm, Tim, and Bobby. The latter two of the group don’t blog. I think we did more talking than blogging this time. That said, a fun time was had by all. I forgot to take pics. On a side rant, Tim has decided he wants me to create a new sub-blog just for him so he could blog about my blog. I’m still confused over that one but I thought I’d share it. *note – his prozaic prescription is low – could be the reason*

Afterwards, Mostovic and I went off by ourselves and had great discussion about God. It was great having an adult conversation about faith w/o someone ending up angry. So few folks can discuss religion w/o getting pissy. I think most folks are used to just following what they’ve always been told vs actually having any sort of in-depth knowledge of their faith. So anytime, that is questioned, they feel theatened and lash out. But I digress. Our conversation was about the core difference between our beliefs – the purpose behind the creation of humanity, the duality of the flesh/spirit, etc. I won’t bore you w/the details as that is a post unto itself. My only failing is I wasn’t able to articulate my thoughts into speech as easily as I understood them. Probably because I don’t read up on religion much anymore and am a bit rusty in the terminology. (who da thunk it, me speechless?) However, Mostovic seemed to be in the same boat, albeit not as bad as me. We spent about 3 hours just talking and listening to each other. It was the most enjoyable theological conversation I’ve ever had in my entire life.

Before we knew it, closing time was upon us and we had to bail! We ran into T from the BCC and had a late night meal together. Afterwards, I went home to watch my tivo shows! Not a bad way to spend the weekend.

God Who? & Pains of The Past.

This is a heavy rant today in that I’m digging into painful memories that have been buried for some time. It is a bit long and if you are hoping for something funny, you might skip me today.

The blogosphere is just abuzz w/the news over the death of Pope John Paul (whatever # he is). For clarity, I am NOT a practicing “christian”. I’m sure that wasn’t hard to figure out if you are regular reader. Because of so many extreme radicals under the umbrella that is christianity, I’ve come to detest the very term itself. From my perspective, its become a term of oppression and hate used to control the masses using ignorance and fear.

I had an interesting conversation w/TH as he is bit more religious than I. And when I use the term religious I mean he seems to be educated about religion and follows the tenets of the faith vs a fundamental approach. He has my utmost respect for being able to see past the nonsense. Anyway, we had a conversation about the death of the pope. He made a compelling case for the pope however, I still think he was an evil man. Out of fairness, I never once heard the pope condone violence against anyone. However, being as educated about religion as he claims to have been, he had to know a lot of the so called ‘faith’ he taught was based on fallacy and misinterpretation. This is why I think he is was evil. Again for perspective, I see evil not as demonic but as doing great harm.

If someone as lowly and simple as myself can discover fundamental differences in interpretation due to translation errors (whether by purpose or simple mistake), someone as educated as the pope must know that large parts of his ‘teachings’ are false. As hard as I try, I can’t shake that belief.

This brings up memories of my past. I believe I’ve touched god twice in my life. I say god because it was the most powerful feeling I ever felt and the joy I got from that moment is still w/me even today. I’m getting ahead of myself though. Lets back up a bit.

God Who?

I spent a good chunk of my adolescent life trying to discover god. I went to every church around in an attempt to find god. I ran the gambit from the very charismatic to the mundane and ritualized. I never once found god in any church. I did find a lot of hypocrisy and procrastination. I did eventually find what I believe to be god but it was never in a church or prayer. I found god in my darkest hour on this Earth.

Even to this day the power of it still brings me to tears. To understand the pain I was in you should probably read the history one and two if you haven’t so far. (links are in the old blog as it didn’t transfer over so well when I switched to WordPress)

*I copied this from an old written journal and edited it for brevity. The original post was 9 pages long.*
A few weeks before my high school graduation at 9:30pm central time, M and I were riding home from the store and we were hit head on by a drunk driver. The car (a T-bird trans-am) went off the road and rolled I don’t know how many times down a hill. M was thrown from the car and it rolled over him. I, on the otherhand, was wearing my seat belt and it was probably the only thing that saved my life. The bad side was the car landed upside down and I was trapped. The heat from the exhaust started a grass fire which quickly spread all the way around the car. In hindsight, the fire probably saved my life as it was a back road, dark, and the driver of the other didn’t stop. The fire began to spread around the car and soon it was apparent I was going to die if something didn’t happen. As fate would have it, someone did see the fire and came to investigate. Two burly truckers helped to pull me from the car and to safety. It was at this point I remembered M had been thrown and began to search for him. He was lying not 50 feet from me. I am not ashamed to admit I crawled every inch of the way on my hands and knees to get to him. The truckers barely took notice as they had no idea anyone else was involved and were completely distracted trying to put out the fire. M was barely alive as the car had crushed most of his internal organs. I managed to pull him into my arms and the last thing he said to me was “I love you”. He died after that.

Most would assume that this would be heartbreaking but I felt nothing but love at the time. After being abandoned by everyone who ever should have loved me, here was one soul who used his last breath to tell me he loved me. How could I not feel unconditional unceremonious love? That moment is burned into my mind as if it were a brand. To this day, I can still smell the fire and smoke thinking about it.

It wasn’t until later that the pain hit. Physically, I came thru the ordeal w/just minor scratches and bruises. Having nowhere to send me, the hospital kept me overnight. I had to be sedated due to waking up in uncontrollable screams from nightmares. I kept reliving the moment over and over in my dreams. That sedation turned into a 6 month ordeal. I lost my will to live and refused to eat, speak, or even get out of bed.

*skipping a huge chunk here*

God Found

After another 6 months of learning how to speak and walk again, a friend offered me a place to live in a seaport town away from home and all the painful memories. I jumped at the chance. I showed up on the beach at 3:30am almost a year to the date that M died. I was so overcome w/grief I didn’t know what to do. I contemplated suicide at that moment. I walked out onto the beach and began to wonder what would happen if I just kept walking? Who would miss me? Would anyone even care? The water so blue and warm looked so inviting. As if it could wrap me in it’s warm embrace and slowly take away all my pain. By this point, I was crying so uncontrollably I couldn’t even stand up. I fell back on the beach just bawling w/such raw uncensored emotion. Pain, anguish, fear, worthlessness all washed over me in waves so hard I began to vomit. Finally, at one point I just lay back exhausted. It was at this dark moment I found god. Not by looking above or reaching out for him but by looking into myself. There it was all this time just waiting for me to reach for it. A part of my soul I didn’t consciously know even existed. Words cannot even come close to explaining the moment. It was as if someone had taken the very fount of Joy itself and ripped it open in my heart. That is the only way I can describe it and make sense. Once again I found my body gripped in the vice of powerful emotion. But this time instead of being pain it was pure joy. I found myself looking up into the sky w/the coming of morning laughing uncontrollably. I’m sure if anyone had been watching they would have though I was a person possessed. I don’t know how long I lay there just basking in the glow that suffused (spelling?) me. But I did finally get up! I got up and I moved on w/my life. All this while, that joy stayed w/me and is still w/me today. Sometimes not so obvious but when I need it most, I find it again.

That my friends is my god.