I got a mild complaint the other day. Someone asked why I no longer have a blogroll listed on my blog. I guess they felt slighted because they link to my blog and I don’t reciprocate.1 Well, the answer is simple. It got to be too much to handle/manage. I still follow almost 200 blogs. Tie that in with Facebook and twitter its a lot to manage on a daily basis.
And for the record, I still have a blogroll. I just follow it via RSS feeds. Its easier and faster than trying to click thru from my blog. I know that defeats the purpose of all the bells and whistles you see on most blogs (including mine), but I just don’t have the time these days. I surf purely out of personal enjoyment on my free time. I also don’t comment on many blogs as much anymore as I do most of my surfing on my phone. Since only a handful have updated their blog for mobile devices, its either impossible or complicated to try and leave a comment.
I may or may not bring my own blogroll back in the future. As universal log-ins take hold and the integration of social media continues, I’m sure new easier methods of link management will arise. Hell, it may become moot as everything becomes much more interconnected. twitter, Google+, and Facebook are fighting tooth and nail to capture users via universal log-ins. I’m sure eventually you’ll have just one large integrated feed that gets auto-updated continuously so all you have to do is log-in and view it.
- A link they have since deleted. Uh…bitter much? [↩]
I was blogrolling (finally) and catching up on the list when I was reminded by Jimbo of something I’d been meaning to rant about.
Jimbo was ranting on the do’s/don’ts of when to use grindr in social situations. This sort of got me on the general mistakes most folks make when joining/using social sites in general. Whether it be the hatchet-job of HTML and over-embedding on mySpace,1 the constant barrage of friend/game requests on Facebook, and/or the minutia of irrelevant updates on twitter, it can quickly become unmanageable if you don’t start out with some ground rules.
Being someone who has been online since before the existence of AOL, let me take a moment to edify you on my hard-earned skills. lol With a few simple guidelines you can keep your online social interactions under control, enjoyable, and even useful.
When joining social sites like FB, MS, twitter, etc, you should first decide on your purpose.2 Are you joining to reconnect with friends/family, make new friends, be a social butterfly, and/or just ‘connect’ in general.
- Take the time to fill out your profile. You don’t have to necessarily reveal personal/private information but if your goal is to meet people then it makes sense to provide goals, interests, hobbies, etc. If you are gonna create multiple profiles, instead of constantly retyping everything, just create a master word or text file that you can copy and paste from. You also don’t have to list every minutia of your interests. Stick to things you are really passionate or interested in. You can always add more later.
- Be sincere and honest. People often sniff out a fake PDQ. Sure your responses might be less but they will be legit. And lets face it, if your goal is to actually meet people, they’ll eventually find out you lied.
- Use an up-to-date picture of yourself. It’s the freakin’ millennium already. There is absolutely no excuse for anyone not to have an up-to-date pic in this day when practically everything has a camera attached to it. I don’t care what you looked like 10 years ago or when you were 12. Its ok to have those type of pics but not as your main profile pic. Its misleading and you’ll end up alienating people. And if you are so discreet, you can’t have a face shot, then maybe you shouldn’t be online?3
- Actually take the time to reply or interact. Again, if the goal is to be social, it won’t happen all by itself. Depending on the site, you don’t necessarily have to reply to everyone but the point here is to make an effort to interact.
- Add any/every one who sends you a friend/follow request. If you do, you’ll soon find your profile becomes bloated and pointless. And there is nothing that says once you add someone you can’t remove them later.
- For adding media/links, don’t over do it. Less is definitely more in this instance. If you constantly fill your stream with drivel, people will get bored or overwhelmed and move on. Its ok to post things you really like but I don’t wanna know about every single song/movie/clip/article that you purchase/download/find from the web. And for the love of toast, for profiles like myspace, make sure the “auto-play” feature for your embedded content is turned off!
- Hide all of your data/info and then wonder why no one friends/follows you. This is a biggie folks. Especially on sites like twitter and FB, if I can’t see anything about you not only will I not add you, I’ll probably go one step further and block you. Demanding a lot and offering nothing in return rarely works. FB allows you a fine control of what is viewable or not. twitter is a bit trickier as it only allows full view or nothing. The trick is to accept the request but then review the person’s feed/stream. If you don’t like it or it doesn’t interest you, simply unfollow and/or block. You’re done.
- Add mean, disparaging, hateful, or otherwise negative statements. No one likes a whining negative-Nancy. Nothing turns me off to a person’s profile faster than negative comments.
- Log on and never log-off. That might work for chat services where you can set yourself to away or available but for most profiles, its just annoying trying to interact with someone who turns out not to be there but logged on.
See, that wasn’t so hard was it? lol Here are just a few more tips that might save you some grief.
Don’t join every site just because you can. Pick and choose the sites you really like and dump the rest.
If you are worried about privacy or work-related issues, don’t use your real name online. I’ve always used my nickname and to this day, I can’t find a single reference to my real name online. This is especially important if you are using profiles for work and ‘play’.
With the latter in mind, keep your work/play profiles separate. You can create multiple accounts for each and/or filter your contacts based on interest.
Ok, that’s it. Now go forth and be social!
- which has become the trailer park of the web [↩]
- Yes, this even applies to the more adult-oriented sites as well. [↩]
- Anytime I see this, I just assume you are a liar or cheating on someone [↩]
Another Dore Alley1 fair has come to a close. Everyone I talked to thought this year’s fair was a bit subdued. A quick scan of Facebook and twitter afterwards revealed an over all consensus. For my part, I agree but it made it more enjoyable for me.
As ho hum as I was feeling earlier, I did have a good time. I even stayed beyond my normal 2 hour limit. I ended up hanging out with Chris aka @Wildcuddler from twitter and his friends @bucknsj and @puppychow79. Even better, they are both on twitter so now I get to stalk them. heehee. Seriously though, they were both very nice and made such an adorable couple. We were also joined by a tag-tail.2 but even he was sweet and I rather liked having him along.
The event itself was a bit smaller this year. And while it did get crowded, it was so nice not being jam-packed in wall-to-wall bodies with barely enough room to breath. It might sound hot but after about 15 minutes of it, you get rather annoyed. Normally, I can go the whole circuit twice and be lucky if I run into 5 people I know. Not so this time. I ran into a whole slew of friends (and bloggers) in the span of about an hour. I ran into roblog and his hot husband entering the gates. Shortly beyond that I ran into Victor from v-hold and his scruffy hubby and then Wade from beyondbuffalo. There was @repete from twitter and his hubby, several random tricks from years past and even a co-worker. lol It was a whole stream of walk, stop, flirt, chat, flirt some more, then continue on your way. I even saw my ex. I ran into my flickr buddy Andy, who I totally have the hots for. His smile is even more endearing in person. Such a sweetie he was. I could go on and on but you know I am not a name-dropper … heh heh
There was plenty of the obvious. A grope here, a smile there, a quick chest or butt rub followed by grunts and groans. Oh yes, it wouldn’t be Dore w/o the blatant sexual innuendo and aggression. There was one beefy guy wearing ass-less chaps that I would have followed around like a puppy had he already not had a hubby in tow. Bastard. lol
**Interjection – I’m sitting at Firewood in the hood as I write this and I’m sitting next to a group of guys who are whining about not being part of the ‘pretty crowd’ yet they can’t stop talking about all the ‘hot’ guys they saw. I’m half tempted to lean over and point out the stupidity of their conversation. Its one thing to not go and ridicule but its another thing entirely to go and then whine about it because you weren’t the center of attention. And that’s forgetting for a moment that ‘pretty’ is a subjective term at best and two, if you’ve ever been to Dore or Folsom, you know the mix of guys is amazing. You see everything; freaks, cock, boobs, piss, average, bears, muscle, hair, smooth, porn, drag, leather, sex, etc. Oh did I mention porn?3 It runs the entire gambit so going and then whining about not being ‘included’ just annoys me to no end. /rant **
Ok back on topic, sort of. I was particular struck this year by how pervasive our technology has become in our everyday lives. For my own part, I was twittering and texting at down times throughout the day. Of course, I had to stay in contact with the boy. Then there was the moto group, coworkers inquiring if my ass was hanging out, and random tweets and FB updates. I had 3 different random strangers stop me to tell me they read my blog, which tickled me to no end. (Eddy, Derrick, Paul, I told you I’d mention you!) I also met several folks who met thru the various online social sites. One might say, it was a cornucopia of interconnected web-addicts all decked out in leather, lace, and gear!
All said, it was a good event. Fun, frolic, and friends all at one time. What’s not to like?4 It was a nice end to my rather uneventful but extremely well-timed vacation as I go back to work tomorrow. I’m back on my new (old) shift which I’m very excited about.
And how was your weekend?
- Its officially called Up Your Alley now but locals still refer to it by its original name. [↩]
- someone who attaches themselves to you or your group in the hopes of hooking up. *g* [↩]
- That said, there seemed to be fewer porn boys out and about this year as well. [↩]
- Oh, there will be a forthcoming ‘post’ in a few days about other activities, so you know what to do. [↩]
I got the opportunity to make a new friend this weekend. Slickdome aka JJ from twitter was in town for a conference. He currently lives in frosty Chicago. I didn’t realize at the time this was his first trip to San Francisco. Anyway, I was more than impressed and came away wishing we lived closer as I really enjoyed hanging out with him and definitely feel like I made a new friend.
We met up Friday night at Firewood for dinner and some good conversation. He had a lot to say as I grilled him on every aspect of his life. What? I couldn’t help it. Having only interacted with him in a limited capacity on twitter, I didn’t know much about him and let’s fact it, I’m nosey. *giggle* Seriously though, I didn’t have any real expectations about our meeting but I had a blast. I will say his twitter pics do not do him justice. He was much more handsome in person. He was also very nice and came across in a very unaffected genuine manner.
After the inquisition, I decided to take him by Daddies, aka 440 Castro. We hung out talking and oggling menz. I think he really liked it. Not being fed up with me by closing time, we hopped over to Orphan Andy’s for a late night fatty snack.
Saturday, Adam joined us for a late dinner and a movie. They talked shop a lot as they work in somewhat related fields while I gorged myself on food. Afterwards, we watched the new James Bond flick, which I loved. I thought it was just as good as the first.
He leaves tomorrow but my weekend is over so he was left to wander the City on his own today. He finally made it over to the Golden Gate bridge and I’m gathering from his tweets he enjoyed it.
Other than hanging out with JJ, there wasn’t much to my weekend. I hung out with the roomie a bit and got a few chores done. That pretty much sums it up.
Oh and one of my regular readers sent me a box of homemade cookies for Christmas. That was very sweet (literally). The roomie and I have all but polished off the lot of’em. lol