Ever want a say so in the design of a social app before it gets made? Well now’s your chance. Apple guy is working on a venture with a friend of his involving a new social app. They are soliciting feedback from potential users before the app goes into production.
If you’re feeling daring, hop over to the link below and check it out. It’s one page and you don’t have to fill out any personal info. And it’s only nine questions.
I was having a discussion the other day with a casual buddy on Google+ and he was somewhat surprised to discover that I man-scape. I don’t quite get why that’s such a surprise but whatev. In our conversation, he kept inferring that it was somehow un-manly of me. I thought he was just joking at first but as the chat continued, it was obvious he was being somewhat serious. I find it sad that we lock ourselves into said attitudes.
First, let me say this is a general reference and yes I know not everyone who doesn’t man-scape fits my rant today so don’t get your knickers in a twist. 🙂
From a grooming perspective, its just about good hygiene. I know not everyone sees it that way. Some people are just indifferent or think the completely el-natural look is fine. I respectfully disagree. If your nose hair is twice the length of your nose, trim that shit! If your chest hair can be braided and corn-rolled it’s also time for a trim. Further, if your bush (front or back) can supply a wig factory for a month, its time for a good run thru with the clippers. No one is asking you to shave it off or get rid of it. While it may on very rare occassions compliment your features, that is most definitely not the norm. For the most part, it makes you look unkempt and dirty. [1]And not the good kind of dirty. And if you really like hair, trimming it makes it grow faster silly Billy!
This reminds me of an episode years ago when I first moved to SF. I used to run into a guy at the gym who had so much chest hair it flowed over his collar like some creeping scifi devil vine. Seriously, it was creepy. Nothing he ever wore contained it. It stuck out around his hands, neck, and waist. For a while I really wondered if he suffered from that Wolfman disorder. Turns out, he happened to love hair and absolutely loved his Fangorn forest growth. Anyway, one day he was bemoaning not being able to find dates and I jokingly mentioned his creature feature. He later asked me if I really thought it was a big deal. My first thought was to laugh it off to avoid a potentially uncomfortable conversation. Few are ever receptive to negative feedback even when it is meant constructively. He seemed really eager to know so I decided to give him my honest opinion. I told him while he thought it was awesome , it probably creeped a lot of people out. If he just trimmed it down to a managable size he could have the best of both worlds.
He seemed receptive but I didn’t think much of it. To my surprise, I ran into him about a month later and he stopped me to show off his new much shorter forestine growth. He thanked me for being open to telling him my honest opinion and said that he’d gotten a lot of really positive feedback from friends/strangers alike. I still see him around from time to time and he still keeps it under control. hehehe
The moral of the story boys and gurls? You can keep things in check w/o looking like a Brazilian twink fresh off the assembly line at a Belami video.
References
| ↑1 | And not the good kind of dirty. |
|---|
There is a set of twins that work out at my gym. One is gay and the other is straight. I’ve only recently begun to see them so I think they are new to the city. They always work out together and watching them you can tell they are pretty close. I’ve talked to them in passing a few times. I find myself being a little sad every time I’m around them. I guess it’s a reminder of my own twin that died during childbirth. I can’t remember if I’ve ever discussed that here. We were born 2 months premature and in the 70’s that was still a pretty big deal. I don’t see the need to flesh it out in every detail but obviously, I lived and he didn’t.
As a kid, I used to asked my dad on random occasions what was wrong with me. At the time, my little id had no understanding and I’d tell my dad that I felt broken. He always shrugged it off. Years later, finding out I was a twin was a huge relief because it explained so much. I grew up feeling like there was a big hole inside of me and now I knew why.
For a long time I was extremely bitter about it. I felt cheated in life because I was denied such a precious gift. Growing up very lonely and alone as a child, I think it only made the absence more acute in my mind. I’d speak to him in my dreams thinking I was talking to myself. Anyway, all these years later, I still find that I miss him and there are still times when I feel that hole there inside me. It isn’t the gaping wound it used to be but deep down it still hurts and I’m still just a little bitter about it.
I’ve also made mention in the past that I am a big believer in reincarnation. Well, what you might not know is I’ve always harbored a secret desire to run into my twin again in this life. When Apple guy and I first met, I had such a strong connection to him I secretly fantasized at times that he was my twin come back to me. Looking back on things, I feel completely foolish for thinking such a thing. Not because it was impossible but because I let my desire cloud my judgment. It certainly explained a lot though. My break up with Apple guy was very rough and I’ve repeatedly asked myself why I put up with it for so long. I am beginning to realize the connections and piece it all out. I’ve been overcome with shame, guilt, disappointment, bitterness, and anger along the way.
It wasn’t until I started running into the twins at the gym that things clicked into place. The day in question, I actually locked myself in the upstairs bathroom at the gym and cried for about 20 mins. [1]Lord only knows what everyone thought why I was in there for so long. lol It was a painful and yet liberating revelation though. It allowed me to let go of feelings and wistful thinking that was bringing me emotional harm and preventing me from moving on. For the first time since we split, I finally felt over it and ready to move on.
I find it ironic that every time I think I’ve learned all there is to know about myself, I discover something new. I’m 41 years old and I can feel my thoughts/ideals beginning to settle into constant patterns. I find I question my motives less and less and trust my decisions more and more. All good things, but I’ve always been afraid to reach a point where I no longer examined my actions. I’m proud to say that I am still capable of looking at myself objectively when the need arises. Not to mention, life has an almost sneaky way of showing us things we need to see.
I miss my twin and still hold out the hope that I’ll find him again, in some form. But if not, who knows what my next life holds? I never really believed it when people would tell me I had an old soul. I always felt too insecure and unstable to be an old soul. I’m not so sure anymore now. The older I get and as the length of the life behind me grows, I think this life’s conflict has blinded me at times. Looking back on it, I see a pattern of renewal, progress, and acceptance that just defies logic. I now believe it was and continues to be my soul speaking to my id. The problem is I wasn’t always listening. Ain’t that a kick in the pants?
As always, hope springs eternal. 🙂
References
| ↑1 | Lord only knows what everyone thought why I was in there for so long. lol |
|---|
The growing number of gay teen suicides lately has been deeply disturbing. Those who hate us, emboldened by the vocal nutjobs in the media, find license to continue their hate and even worse, do real harm. They see the freaks on tv and think it’s ok. It is not ok and every single one of us has an obligation to speak out and say so.
While I was fortunate enough to not be bullied that often in school, I did experience it. It wasn’t so much because I was obviously gay but because I was different. Up until I left home, my parents made me wear my hair like Elvis (for lack of a better description). I guess at this point said hairstyle was considered out of style and I got lots of teasing over it. Of course, being poor didn’t help. I was also rather skinny and almost frail at this point in my life. My first real experience was in junior high. My last day of 7th grade a rather obnoxious bully named Corrie snuck up behind me and sucker-punched in the face with his fist. He’d often called me all kinds of names including the F-word. I doubt he really thought I was gay, he just saw me as weak and easy-prey. I folded like a sack of potatoes as it was out of the blue and I didn’t even see him. Everyone around me was equally shocked, even kids who weren’t really keen on me were upset. He thought he got away with it clean but first day of the next school year, they expelled him for a month. At my 10-year re-union I had hoped to encounter him. One, I had beefed up and also had experience and a new-found confidence. I actually went half-expecting to get into a fight with him. Win or lose, he was going to know it was not ok to ever bully me again. He didn’t show. I found out later on he’d been in/out of jail for random crap. One only knows where he is now or if he is even still alive. There were a few other times in my life but for the most part I was lucky in that regard.
My own brush with suicide was based on years of mental-abuse from family and a final kick in the head by the loss of my first love. There was no one there to help me, no one to turn to, and certainly no one to tell me things would improve. While I wasn’t bullied that much, the pain was very real. Call it grace, God, or just dumb luck, I decided against a very permanent solution and moved on with my life. I’ve never forgotten how it made me feel though. The sense of despair and helplessness was awful and it robbed the mind of reason. When you get like that, you begin to look for an escape any way you can. Sadly, suicide often seems like the only way out. I’m living proof that it’s not. It does get better. And while that doesn’t mean life is gonna be all roses and pretty flowers, you do move past it. You discover the world is more than just that confined moment of agony.
I had a kid named Brad reach out to me on my blog some years ago after I had shared my story here. He told me that my post had changed his mind about killing himself and gave him courage to continue on his life. I’ve never heard from him since but it gave me so much joy to know telling my story helped someone else.
I’m happy the say the local police department here did an It Get’s Better video recently. Several of my friends were in it and I couldn’t be prouder. It may seem trivial or even expected coming from a progressive city like SF but I don’t think so. When a law-enforcement agency sends a message of acceptance to our LGBT youth, it is sends a powerful message of hope.
[youtube_sc url=”http://youtu.be/6RMunYfzlGs” autohide=”1″]
The point of my ramble today is this. Good or bad, share your story with friends, family, coworkers, and even random strangers if the opportunity arises. It may not be horrific at all but that doesn’t mean your insight can’t help someone else. You never know when someone might be listening or reading. Don’t hide behind indifference. To do so discredits all those who have come before us and will come after us.
DINO is an acronym for Dogs In Need Of Space. I was reading an article a while back from a well-known dog-walker, who is also a blogger, weighing in on the subject. The article went a little viral and was reported on by the local Examiner. I guess I was on the fence because some of the rants I could agree with, others I couldn’t.
The first point I agreed with. Regardless of how cute, cuddly, or adorable an animal looks you should never just assume it is docile and approach it as such. Even if you own a dog(s), you should still check with a strange dog’s owner first. If you don’t check, don’t get your knickers in a twist when the dog snaps at you, or worse, bites your dumb ass for trying to pet it. Dogs can react, sometimes violently, when they feel threatened. Case and point, Spike was a very docile lovable animal. I never saw him snap at anyone until a nasty smelling homeless guy tried to pet him unannounced once day. Spike reared around, bared his teeth, and snapped at him. He clearly wasn’t trying to bite as much as send a message. I was surprised as the guy was. I then snapped at the guy and told him to stay his stinking ass away from my dog and he should never try to pet a strange dog. He reeked from like 4 feet away. I had to scold Spike as well because he couldn’t be allowed to do that but inside I was tickled pink. lol The point is that even the most docile breeds have their bad days or bad dogs, not to mention you have no idea how well (or not) the animal has been treated/trained.
From my own experiences, the worst DINO’s are often the ones where the owner encourages its bad behavior because he/she thinks it’s cute. Dogs can have varied temperments based on their breed as well as upbringing. With a wealth of info at your fingertips via a quick Google search, it is silly not to spend a modicum of time learning about your dog. The biggest mistake I see is when owners project their own thinking onto their dog. Dogs think like dogs not humans. No matter how cute they are, a dog will often try to establish dominance and/or protect what they perceive as their space and/or owner. While the owner might think this is admirable, he/she is setting the dog up for a lifetime of confrontation and problems. The dog should be taught it is not the pack leader and must abide by the rules. The more this is reinforced the happier it and you will be.
As a responsible dog owner, you have to also know the limits of your dog. If your dog is not friendly to humans or other dogs, do not put the dog in situations where it is forced to react. While this is not always avoidable, it can be anticipated and handled w/o a lot of fuss. And here is where I diverge from the article author’s point of view. The author implied everyone should know not all dogs are friendly. I disagree. As mentioned above, you should use a little common sense when approaching a strange animal, but not everyone has experience w/pets. Some people grow up w/o ever having had any pets. Always assumming others know to ask first is not a realistic expectation, especially if your dog is a DINO. Right or wrong etiquette wise, under the law if your dog attacks someone, you are liable under both civil and criminal statutes. And for [insert deity of choice here] sake, don’t tie it up and leave it alone in public spaces if it is the least bit aggressive. As its owner, you can be charged with a crime if the dog does damage to public property or worse, bites someone. Even if the bite doesn’t break the skin, the dog could be removed from your care, permanently in a worst case scenario. (And yes, in my line of work I’ve seen it happen.)
Another example of stupidity is when owners drag their dogs everywhere, including indoor spaces, and proceed to get their knickers in a twist when people naturally want to pet their dog. As an example, a guy used to bring his puppy into Bearbucks [1]Starbucks in the gaborhood every day. The puppy was cute/cuddly and very friendly. The owner would get annoyed at everyone who tried to pet his dog. He even had the nerve to bring a note one day and post it next to the dog while it was sitting out looking for attention. Even worse, he would complain to the employees about it! They finally got tired of his perpetual whining and asked him not to bring the dog back inside. The moral: If you put your dog in a situation where he is surrounded by people, you are an idiot for thinking no one will want to pet him.
When people act out like this they also abuse a business’s trust in them to manage their dog indoors. This makes it hard for all pet owners. A little common sense goes along way. On a side rant, if a business asks you not to bring your dog in, be respectful and don’t bring it in. Your thoughts on the matter are irrelevant as it is not your business. They have every right to not allow pets. Just like you have the option to not do business there. Throwing a fit and being a bully just makes you look like an ass.
As for Cooper, he is a very friendly dog, even too friendly. He will go up to virtually anyone for attention. Being a puppy and still learning rules, he can get very rambunctious. [2]Oddly, he still gets super hyper when company is over vs being much tamer outdoors. That being said, even in his short time with me he is learning what is acceptable and not. I want him to grow up to be a friendly, happy, and well-behaved doggie. When encountering other dogs Cooper immediately wants to play and will make a bee-line for the other dog. I ask other dog owners before he gets too close to see how they feel. If their dog is friendly, we let them interact. If not, we do not. It’s as simple as that. So far, Cooper hasn’t shown much of an aggressive side. Well, let me rephrase that. He doesn’t try to start trouble with other dogs and most often even when another dog becomes aggressive, he just looks on. He certainly seems able to defend himself but I wouldn’t call that aggressive.
As for other people, while I don’t mind people petting Cooper, I try to encourage folks to ask first. I certainly don’t get pissy about it if they don’t, especially if he is inside a public place with me. I find a polite encouragement goes along way though. I guess the moral here is both sides should exercise a little common sense but neither should assume the other knows the rules. Ironic how that could apply to a variety of other scenarios. lol
I am so looking forward to this game. The first one didn’t get much press but it was a very fun game. If you’re a nerdy console
gamer like me that enjoys a game that’s fun to play, this is a good one to have. In the first one, the story isn’t overly complex but it gives you a decent history as it unfolds. It had a few bugs in that it was too dark on some scenes and the monologues were boring as hell and couldn’t be skipped. But the game play was fun. If you’re like me and you enjoy FPS [1]first person shooter games w/more than just army nonsense, then this one is worth checking out. Well the first one was. I haven’t played part 2 yet but it’s been getting good reviews.
Like blogging, I come and go on gaming. Free time tends to be limited these days so just finding time to get lost in a game is challenging enough. lol I gauge a games worth on how many times I play thru it end to end. If I play it once and put it down, then it might have been ok but not phenomenal. If I’m willing to play thru it on increasing difficulty modes or just like replaying over and over, then it’s a keeper.
Anyway, I’ve always been a fan of scifi/horror/fantasy games. I know everyone else is big on war and sports games but I need more than speed or just different scenes to shoot opponents. I like a game with good visual layouts, music that fits the game play, and ease of use. The latter can be harder than you think. Every game developer seems to wanna ‘reinvent’ the game world which can often start with large expectations and small outcomes. You also have to have a feel for the game developer. Some companies turn out crap over and over until they find a hit. Some actually spend a lot of effort really focusing on how gamers play the game. The later often turn out to be big hits. I’m a huge fan of the Gears of War franchise. The third one seemed a little rushed but it was still good. The God of War games were awesome too. Both had great game fly, difficulty but not too difficult, and wonderful visual/audio scenes. I wish they’d come out with another Ratchet & Clank game. It was one of my all time favorite games. lol I played each one over and over and over.
Anyway, rather than wasting money I don’t have on buying all these, I use gamefly.com. It’s like Netflix for video games. I can play a game as long as I like and send it back when I’m done or I can buy it at a reduced rate. I used to buy 5-8 games a year and that shit adds up. Now I play twice that many and only buy the ones I really like.
For you nerds, I’ve got Infamous 2, Darkness II, and Portal 2 all up next in queue. My username/gamertag for Xbox 360 and PS3 is the same as my twitter handle.
References
| ↑1 | first person shooter |
|---|
I was jaunting down memory lane today, well sort of. I got a wild hair and loaded every single one of the old blogs I used to follow. Sadly, only about a 4th of them still exist. And only about half of those were being updated regularly.
I need to start finding new blogs again. I miss reading about people’s travels in life. Social media is fine but you tend to get so much crap mixed in with the good stuff, you often miss the gems of worth. I miss the days when blogging was still somewhat new and more people were doing it more often.
I keep chugging away at mine. Time will tell I guess if it lasts. Every time I think I might get bored with it, something always happens to remind me why I do it. 
How many of you still blog?
So I’m still having issues w/my xmlrpc file on the server it seems. My last post uploaded w/o the attached picture so I deleted it. Of course, I forgot that some of you are signed up for automatic notifications when I update. Ooops!
Anyway, here is the previous mentioned pic along with a couple others. Little Cooper is growing like a weed and isn’t so little anymore. hehehe I guess I don’t have to worry about his previous issues stunting his growth.
Here he is curled up sleeping right on top of me. He’ll sometimes lay his head or legs next to me but rarely does he crawl up on top of me and just camp out. lol
Here he is laying next to me on the bed while I’m watching reruns of Farscape on Netflix.
And here he is just sleeping up a storm on the sofa. lol
Someone got banned by my spam blocker today. lol Apparently, his IP address was being used to hammer my admin account in an attempt to crack my blog. tsk, tsk! heehee I’ve removed the ban as I know it wasn’t him but I’m tickled it was his IP address. [1]A prime example of why you should never use your default admin account in WordPress.
As a reminder, if you find you can’t access le blog, email me and I’ll look into it. A good first-step is to try to access it from a different location or internet connection. Spammers often hijack open wifi points and/or unsuspecting users and use their computers to do all their dirty work. I see it time and time again sadly. While few sites are truly hack-proof, a few precautions go along way to keep out the bad guys.
Don’t randomly open links/files in emails that you weren’t expecting, even if it is from someone you know. If you use Chrome, they do a good job of blocking malware sites but it’s never 100% foolproof.
Don’t fall for “your account as been locked or suspended, here click on this link and verify your info…” scams. You can do like I do and manually type the link into your location field of your browser of choice. That way you know you aren’t being spoofed.
On a follow up to that, most email clients allow hover functions. Meaning if you hover the mouse over a link it shows a tiny pop up window that displays the actual link. If it is different, in any way from the one displayed, don’t click it.
When you aren’t using your computer/laptop, shut it down . The old adage about ruining your pc by turning it off/on too much is really nonsense. You’d have to do this a 100 times more than the average user to really cause a problem.
At the end of the day, do like my Maw-maw always said, “believe none of what you hear, and half of what you see.” In other words, if it sounds suspicious don’t just click it like an idiot. lolol
Oh, and welcome back Brett.
References
| ↑1 | A prime example of why you should never use your default admin account in WordPress. |
|---|
It might seem trivial but I’ve been so proud of little Cooper over the last couple weeks. We’ve been having issues with his potty training over the last couple months. He would often pee (and sometimes pooh) on the carpet when we weren’t around. We crate him at night and when we aren’t home to help curb his "accidents." Most dogs won’t pee where the sleep or in a confined space except as a last resort. Well, little Cooper just pees anyway and then stands in it till we get up and let him out. Naturally, not a pleasant experience. He tried barking a few times but after some "negative" reinforcement, he knocked that off. lol
Anyway, he has been doing really well lately. He hasn’t had a single episode in almost 2 weeks now. Even better, the other day I couldn’t get home from work on my lunch until several hours after his usual break. [1]My lunch is at a different time every day and sometimes it is very late into my shift. Of course, I’m freaked out that he would pee in his crate and I’d have to clean not only his crate but him when I get home. Imagine my surprise to find he held onto it like a good little trooper. Normally, when I come home on lunch I play with him and give him love’en. I took him out right away this time. I could tell he really had to go because he will usually wait at the top of each stairwell (en route to the backyard) for me to catch up. This time he ran all the way to the bottom and waited for me to get there. Needless to say, he did his business and life went on.
Anyway, I’ve been so proud of him. I’m cautiously optimistic that he is on the path to being a well house-trained doggie. We’ve been letting him out of the cage more and more at a time to test the waters. It’s too soon to know for sure but so far so good.
🙂
References
| ↑1 | My lunch is at a different time every day and sometimes it is very late into my shift. |
|---|