Yesterday was the day we’ve been dreading for weeks. Spike reached a point where he was no longer able to have any quality of life and we had to put him to sleep. To say that I’m (we) heartbroken is an understatement. I knew it was coming and I tried to prepare myself for it but when it came right down to it, it didn’t help one bit. I loved that dog more than an other pet I’ve ever had and it broke my heart to see him go. But it wasn’t about me, it was about him. He was suffering and I couldn’t bear the thought of that no matter how much I wanted him to stay with me.
The irony is we’d gotten is hacking cough under control. This was the original symptom that pushed us to have him checked out by a vet. The meds completely suppressed it from day one. Sadly, he developed some secondary problems, including problems with his legs/hips. We weren’t really sure what the problem was but the vet seemed to think he’d developed secondary tumors on the nerve sheaths around his joints. He’s been limping for weeks but it came and went and he still had drive to get up and down. Most days, he seemed ok and we were trying different med combinations to try and combat any discomfort he might be feeling.
The morning before yesterday he seemed a little better. He even tried to run a little bit after a bird that was clearly in need of being chased. He seemed energetic and excited and I thought maybe we’d finally found a good med combo to keep him comfy. By the night, he’d developed a more pronounced limp and started yelping anytime he tried to get up and down. He deteriorated rapidly from there in just a span of 12 hours. By the time yesterday morning rolled around, he could barely move his head w/o yelping in pain.
It was obvious to us a both it was his time. We’d thought to get him thru to the weekend but seeing him deteriorate so quickly, we knew we had to act right away. We spent the night up/down with him. He’d get settled and then try to move around and re-settle, as dogs tend to do. This would set off a new round of yelping. It was an ear-piercing yelp and you knew he was in a lot of pain. None of the meds were having any effect, even at double and triple the dosage.
As soon as the SPCA opened at 8:00am, we took him in. Shane sat in the back seat and held him all the way there to keep him as still as possible. By this point, he was in so much pain and our only focus was relieving it. We quickly got a private room and said our good-byes. The original vet that treated him interrupted her visit with another patient to come in and oversee his treatment. We were both right there with him as he took his last breath. We sat with him till the vet had confirmed his heart had stopped and it was over. Needless to say, we were both a mess.
Don’t mourn for him though. Spike had a wonderful and long life, courtesy of Shane (and myself toward the end). He was loved and he knew it. Shane rescued Spike when he was just a puppy and has had him ever since. They’ve been thru a lot together and I know he is taking it very hard. Spike’s only been in my life just under 2 years and I’m a blubbering mess. I know it must be that much harder for Shane. Anyway, Spike missed his 9th birthday by two short months.
For my part, Spike was a blazing bright spot in my life that has gone out. To say I loved him would be an understatement. He was such a daily part of my life and I miss him every moment of the day. I’ve already had several incidents where I’d momentarily forget he wasn’t here and go to feed him, walk him, get him treats, etc. The apt feels so empty w/o him now. But he’s better off now. I hold onto the memories of him and how he enriched my life. I’m not sure animals go to heaven but if they do, I can just picture him right now with his head on someone’s lap begging for a treat with that sad but paradoxically excited look of his. That or presenting himself for a belly rub to any and everyone who walks by. 🙂 He loved his belly rubs and would promptly present himself and assume the position on his back and/or side for expected rubs. I don’t know about you but that makes me smile.