Category: blogs

Thinker

After my last few posts, a reader asked me how is it that I always find time to examine my behaviors. To be clear, I don’t do it in the moment most often. It’s usually afterwards that I go over things in my mind. I will make a mental note of things that occur to me on the fly, so to speak, but overall I don’t spend every moment reviewing my actions.

I admit this gave me a giggle because having not met me in person, I can see where this perception my develop. You have to keep in mind the blog has always been a brainstorming white board for my growth and behavior. I think I get so mired in my self-analysis sometimes that I forget to let the rest of my character shine thru. I’m much more relaxed and free-spirited in person. Anyone who’s met me will tell you I can talk your ears off about any and everything, if you let me. My humor tends to be more pronounced as well. Unlike a certain blogger we know, I don’t try to cultivate an image of myself online that doesn’t exist in reality. hehehe

Beyond that, the blog is the biggest culprit. It has fundamentally changed my thought patterns and helped me to be more analytical and what I like to think is more objective. People ask me all the time why I still blog. Well there’s your answer.

Ten

It’s always nice to encounter folks that read my blog. It is; however, a tiny bit awkward when they politely remind me I haven’t been blogging lately. hehehe I say awkward only because I blushed a bit when it happened recently.

I’ve been a very busy fellow since the cruise and not much time to stop and cohesively put posts together. I have several in the works. Free time is everything these days it’s seems. And having the new R&C: Into the Nexus video game totally hasn’t interfered at all! [1]Having a hubby who brings home video games for me to play and enjoys that I play them is incredibly awesome btw!

In all the craziness as of late, I totally forgot I crossed the 10 year threshold. Yep, as of October, I’ve moved into year 10 of this here blog. You might or might not have noticed I changed my Blog title and tagline. It’s been an amazing 10 years and the breadth of what I’ve covered is staggering.  Two breakups, the death of my father, tons of personal growth, random drivel, ragging on friends, blogosphere scandals, etc have all been fodder over the years. I’m a bit amazed at it all to be honest. You start out thinking it’s just a mechanism to help with organizing your thoughts and then you wake up one day to find you’ve chronicled some of the most important and influential years of your life!

As always, I thank all of you who read and continue to read. I never tire of hearing from readers. I often wonder how many are left that have been following me since the beginning. I’m sure it isn’t many but I know there are some. They pop up here and there or message me out of the blue. That or they make a random comment that clearly shows a knowledge of past events. hehehe I’m always incredibly flattered.

Moving into the 2014 year, I am hopeful it continues to be as bright and happy as the end of 2013 has turned out to be. I’ll continue to try and blather about things I care about and my on-going struggle to be a better man.

To all of you, I offer my most sincere thanks for so much of your attention.

References

References
↑1 Having a hubby who brings home video games for me to play and enjoys that I play them is incredibly awesome btw!

Impact

I’m always flattered when someone references my blog. Apparently, my blog has become more popular on a local level. [1]I guess Facebook does have some use after all  You’d think after 9 years it wouldn’t phase me but it still does. I still get very flattered anytime anyone mentions it. I value what I say and share but hearing others refer back to it is very rewarding. October will be the 9 year marker btw.

After my last ‘Role’ rant, I got a lot of kickback about me downplaying the effect of my blog. It was never my intent to belittle my own blog or its impact. I only meant to clarify a point. So my apologies if I trivialized it to anyone. I’ve always shared my madness because of the possibility others could learn from my mistakes, so yes I do think my writing is impactful [2]my made up word for the day at times.

I’ve had so many folks reach out to me over the years to thank me for sharing so much of myself with the world. I’ve mentioned in various times/places I had an instance where a young gay mean reached out to me after reading my own brush with suicide to tell me reading my blog changed his mind about ending it all. That memory will be with me forever. And it is one of several stories from people who’ve stated my blog has helped them. I’m incredibly humbled and honored by such revelations.

And luckily I’m still at it. Every time I think I’ve reached the end of the ‘need’ for my blog, something or someone comes along to teach me otherwise. And I have come close a few times to ending it. For whatever reason I just can’t seem to walk away.

Anyway, apologies again. As I said, it wasn’t my intent to downplay the blog’s affect. And always, I’m incredibly flattered and grateful so many of you continue to read.

References

References
↑1 I guess Facebook does have some use after all
↑2 my made up word for the day

Captcha

Because I’m deleting upwards of 2-3 hundred fake user accounts every month now, I’ve installed a new hidden captcha plugin. You as the user should never see it. It doesn’t depend on the traditional method of captcha pictures to solve, which I detest with a passion.

Instead, it uses a rather interesting javascript output and cookie combo that effectively (for the moment) prevents most autobots from registering fake accounts. There are very few people who refuse to use javascript so I don’t forsee this as a problem. However, should you encounter errors, email me.

I also reviewed a lot of comments and feedback on the authors site. None were problems with it’s functionality so I feel comfortable it will not interfere with most of you.

Wish me luck! lol

Story

Quick & dirty post at the moment. I love when the spam bots try to tell a half-way believable story as part of their spam comments. It cracks me up reading some of them in my comment queue. Some even do a decent job of telling a story, however bizarre it sounds. Others just throw a bunch of words at you in attempt to fool the filters.

I do ponder the day when they get to the point where they can actually write simplistic but relevant comments! Lawd, we’s all in trouble then! lol

Happy weekend all!

Roles

No not the dirty kind. Get out of my gutter. After my snafu with the Intense Debate plugin, I got a request from a reader on how I managed junk comments on my blog. The WordPress plug-in community is wonderfully diverse and there is usually a plug-in for almost anything.

Because I leave my blog open to new users as a requirement for 3rd-party log-ins like FB, Twitter, Google, etc, I get tons of fake users meant to get around my comment filters. Their tricks rarely work but I still have to occasionally go thru and delete all the fake accounts.

The easiest way I’ve found is thru a plug-in called Role Manager that defines the user account groups built into WordPress as Roles.  Each user group/roles has a break out of all the capabilities any user in the group/role can perform. Reading, posting, editing, deleting, etc. I find it a much easier way to manage my user base.

Anyway, it has a nifty feature where you can duplicate a user group/role and give it your own name and capabilities. I duped my subscriber list of real readers into its own group. This leaves the default subscriber user group/role to fill up with the fake accounts. When I get ready to delete the junk, I do a quick perusal for real new users and move them to the correct group. I’m then free to delete the rest en-masse.

Simple and effective.

Comments

I’m not sure why some folks think they can’t disagree with me on my blog. I guess many carry over the failed experiences from other sites. Either way, I’ve had a few instances lately about whether a person felt comfortable leaving comments here so I feel compelled to speak up. One person even stopped me on the street to tell me their opinion after expressing a fear of posting on my blog.

I welcome comments, even if you disagree with me. My expectations are simple. Agree, disagree, or not care and comment as long as you are respectful. We can argue till we are both blue in the face. And we can do so w/o resorting to personal attacks.

For the most part, it is rarely a problem. I am not a news/media site and yes my rules are non-negotiable, but they are simple, fair, and most importantly, applied equally. I can count on one hand the number of non-spam comments I’ve deleted over the years. The only exception would be the crazie fundies who randomly descend with threats and condemnation. I’ve actually taken to forwarding death threats, however harmless in reality, to PD. [1]You’d be surprised how many of these idiots send emails thru their work accounts or work servers. LOL The rest of the haters’ comments are deleted outright from the queue.
And truthfully, if they expressed an opinion w/o vitriol and name-calling, even their comments would get thru. Sadly, that is so rarely the case.

Lord knows, I am opinionated. And if you hope to change my mind on a subject, you need to back it up with facts and/or reason, not name-calling, faux indignation, etc. Unlike a certain blogger we know, I don’t cultivate the appearance of support here by selectively managing the comments that come thru. I encourage different pov’s as I can learn from them.

I’ve always gotten more emails than comments in relation to posts on my blog. I have friends who are private and just like to discuss their opinions with me behind the scenes. I also have “lurkers”, guys who read but never or rarely comment, who will email me from time to time as well. In all of these emails, I’ve never had one be rude or disrespectful. If you can do it in private, no reason you can’t do it publicly either.

So, if you’re in doubt about whether you should make a comment, now ya know. 🙂

References

References
↑1 You’d be surprised how many of these idiots send emails thru their work accounts or work servers. LOL

Users

I accidentally deleted a whole slew of registered users today by mistake! If you notice your user account is gone, just recreate it. Apologies.

To allow social log-ins to work, I have to allow the anyone can register in the settings. Of course, the bad guys try to use this to create more spam for my blog. I get on average about 30-50 fake accounts every week. I usually let them build up and then mass delete them. Today I wasn’t paying attention and deleted a page of users from the wrong user group. Oops!

None of the private user accounts were affected so those of you in that group should be fine. Speaking of, I get a lot of questions about the private parts of my blog. Yes, I have a private section. Yes, it deals mostly with adult content. I’ll also be adding soon some of the fictional short stories I’ve written. I keep them private to avoid poaching.

My blog is and will remain public but there are restricted parts and even parts that are solely for me. There are certain things the general public, including my co-workers, just don’t need to know about me. [1]I’m sure they’d tell you I’m probably already too open with them at work. lol  No, it is not about porn. While I do sometimes post slightly NSFW pics, I rarely post anything graphic, sorry. Yes, that is why I usually post a quick blurb about “are you logged in?”  No, I don’t charge for access.

That said, I do require something specific. You must take it upon yourself to email me personally and introduce yourself. [2]Click the email icon lower right of page  A face pic is always welcome and gets higher consideration but not required. I like having a feel for my readers and your introduction gets filed with your user account. I don’t require anything overly specific but the more open and honest you are the more likely I am to grant access. Yes, I realize it’s the honor system and you could be disingenuous, but that has never been the point. I do run your attached IP thru a couple filters to verify it is not spoofed or on black-lists. Once I approve you, I’ll notify you directly. From then on, as long as you are logged in, you can see private posts.

I usually approve users en-masse, regardless of access. This means you may not get a response from me right away. I simply do not have the time to do each request individually as they come in. I ask that you please be patient. Back to my original topic, all the deletions today were public subscribers. Again, apologies for the hassle. If you were one of the unlucky few and want to receive email updates, you’ll have to go thru the short but tedious process of re-registering.

References

References
↑1 I’m sure they’d tell you I’m probably already too open with them at work. lol
↑2 Click the email icon lower right of page

Year 9

I survived NYE at work. Lord what a mess. Thankfully, I didn’t get mandatoried this year. I hedged my bets a bit by already having worked some OT but as luck would have it, I was far enough up the food chain to avoid it. The crazy started early, died off for a bit and then was getting heavy again by the time I left.

Well, here we are at year 9 of le blog. Man, what a ride. lol I already touched on my goals for the new year so no need to rehash it. The gym is already crazy with the influx of newbies. Everyone is making resolutions and plans for the new year. On some level I appreciate the fact that every NYE seems to bring a since of renewal and new beginnings. On the other hand, why does it have to be that way? Why can’t we focus on the things we don’t want or like in our lives and work to improve them anytime? The world may never know. lol

Anyway, I admit to getting the “new” bug. I’m looking forward to the new year. I’m super motivated in the gym again. I’m still working on digging myself out of the financial hole I’m in and and all around optimistic. Cooper is doing well and will continue to be the superstar that he is. As always, he brings me so much joy, it simply beyond words to explain. Work is work, nothing new there. Oh I didn’t get selected for the sup’s position. I’m oddly not disappointed. Considering I was so on the fence about it, I guess it’s a sign it wasn’t meant to be just yet.

In my personal life, things are calm. I’m not dating anyone but I did finally [1]after 9 years meet up with a long time crush. We actually met thru my blog. I’m not expecting anything other than a chance to get to know him. If something develops, great. If not, I’m sure we’ll still be friends.

The blog is, as ever, a work in progress. Who knows what I’ll come up with this year. Every time I think I’m done learning about myself a new life lesson comes along. Hopefully, that will continue. Lord knows I’ll keep blathering on. I’ve been receiving a lot of requests for more of the adult info. I’ll do what I can. It’s not that I don’t like sharing but it often seems so contrived when I talk about it as if I’m bragging. I’m not above bragging but that really isn’t why I share. In the meantime, you’ll have to be content with my regular ramblings and jimbo and I picking on his royal bitchiness, Brettcajun.

So, here’s to a prosperous and good year to you all!

References

References
↑1 after 9 years