Opening a Can of Worms?

So much to cover today and so little time! I think I’ll do individual posts instead of one big one.

First the long one. I sorta opened a can of worms this week. To understand, you probably need a refresher on previous drama. This all comes into play right when I started blogging so not a lot of the story is complete. Yes, it involves the ex but only in a previous context. No, its not me moping again. I think I’m finally beyond that.

Preface: The ex moved in w/me mid 2003, he got really sick right after that w/pancreatitis. So sick in fact, he almost died. Skipping forward 6 months, he finally got better. He’d lost a lot of weight though. So one of his goals was to try to get back in shape enough to try out for the SOMA Bare Chest Calendar contest. It’s a charity event held every year that raises money for local AIDS charities, two specifically. I thought this a great idea and was very supportive. Naturally, he won and was the month of May for the 2004 Calendar. Skipping forward again, the calendar had an indirect impact on our breakup so I tend to have mixed feelings about it. However, I’m a big believer in charity so in the beginning I offered my web design services for free to help out. It was put to me that someone else was doing it and my help was not needed.

Current: I ran into one of the calendar committee members this past week at Daddybucks [1]Starbucks for those not in the know in the Castro. I’ll admit I’m a little sweet on him but that’s another story. *g* So, we start talking and I offered some very frank yet constructive advice on problems w/the previous year’s strategies. He was very accepting of the advice and agreed. So one thing led to another and a few emails later he asked if I’d be willing to help out on the committee, the web design, or both. I was truly flattered and felt a bit guilty for being a bit negative about the calendar previously. (yeah, I can be a caddy gossipy queen but I’m working on it, alright?) It’s not really their fault my ex and I broke up so to hold them partly accountable is a bit irrational. While my schedule is not flexible enough for me to be a full time committee member it is flexible enough for me to help out on the website. After a bit soul searching, I agreed. One, I enjoy it and it gives me a great way to meet people. Two, I like being in the background as far as charities are concerned. Being a very social creature, I have an unconscious habit of focusing people on me. That is never good for a charity so I like to take back seat roles to prevent that from happening. Three, this is a way for me to make up for my previous negativity. I have no desire to be on the Calendar itself for a variety of reasons. (we won’t go there)

Now here comes the catch. Between my first conversation and agreeing to do it, one of my old bosses emailed me wanting me to help them redo their company website as well. They are paying of course and their demands are a bit high. I just hope I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew. The calendar just wants updates more than anything which is relatively easy so I’m not thinking it will be a problem. However, I did sort of offer to redo the entire site originally. While it would not take all of my resources it would make me a very busy boy for awhile. I’m hoping they relegate me to just menial tasks of doing updates. The irony is I normally detest such a role and that was part of the reasoning behind my original refusal.

I’m still trying to find the lesson in all of this. I know there is one in there somewhere. *digging profusely*


1 Starbucks for those not in the know


I’m not feeling well today. I came home last night w/sore throat. Today, the sore throat is just a dull throb but, I’m feeling irritable and cranky so decided to stay home. No gym today either. I find that if I cut back on my exertions up front, I tend to recover a lot quicker. I hope it doesn’t get any worse. I’m fortunate in that I rarely get sick. But when I do, OY vey! And to top it off, I’m a miserable sick person. I turn into a cranky toddler who wants everything now now NOW!

Of course, going out w/a friend drinking last night didn’t help any. However, he seems to have developed a stalker of sorts and needed some advice so how could I say no? *g*

So anyway, there is this little Thai place down the block from me, Before & After. They have the best seafood noodle soup. YUMMY! Maybe afterwards I’ll take in a movie. I still haven’t seen Darkness, White Noise, or National Treasure. None of which have made box office news but that’s never the point of going to a movie. It’s times like these I’m thankful I live in such a densely populated area of the city. Everything is within blocks.

On a side note, my ex finally got a job. (Tell it on the mountains, call down the saints!) He actually starts today.


Today was a nice day off. I’ve learned to appreciate my days off more and more these days. Got up late, had lunch w/the ex and did a few errands together, met a nice stud for an afternoon slough and now just hanging out watching the world go by.

Morning: Most of it spent goofing off being lazy around the house. Finally, got my lazy carcass over to the gym around 11:30. Today was originally back day but I switched and did shoulders. No real reason, just felt like doing shoulders today. Mr. Hottie was there and I ignored him completely. Ok, well completely is the wrong word. Afterwards, he came into the steam room where I was laid out relaxing and I made sure to get a stiffy before leaving. (Yes, I can be a spiteful bastard at times)

Early afteroon: I decided to have lunch in the Castro after checking the mail. The ex came by and we had a nice lunch together. I discovered he is dating someone new. I’m not sure how serious it is as he was obviously uncomfortable talking about it. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel upset or hurt at all. I’m not sure its wise to be dating someone so soon but who am I to be giving him advice on relationships. It pains me to know that I’m not the one for him but I’ve also realized that maybe he isn’t the one for me. I deserve to be treated better than I was and I didn’t have to convince myself this time by rehashing all the reasons why. I’ve had some time to grieve and my head and heart are beginning to agree with each other as far as he is concerned. I’m digressing again. We had a nice lunch, caught up on “the stuff” going on in our lives and we ended up doing a few errands together. It was nice just hanging out w/him as a friend. He seemed very at ease as well.

Late Afternoon: Met a fellow thru an online site (which will remain nameless) and we had a nice romp. For a change he was everything he said he was and then some. The connection was powerful which made it that much better. (No, I won’t go into the details. However, I’ve thought of starting another blog for such matters, whaddya think?)

Evening: There is a nice new french bakery/coffee shop in the Castro, the Le Bon Gateau, which is becoming one of my favorite haunts. They have free wifi but more importantly, its setup to relax. They have a mixture of hard top tables w/bar stool style chairs along w/some very comfy couches. Much more of a relaxing atmosphere than the very sterile a-typical style Starbucks just around the corner. Starbucks ain’t bad but it just doesn’t have that “come on in” feeling to it. I’m digressing again, shit. Ok, back on topic so I’m hanging out and I bump into a friend of the ex. We had a nice coversation over him working and me net surfing.

So overall its been a good day. No stress, no drama, very relaxed and friendly. Just the way I like it.