My reader ingvisson made a very astute comment on my previous dating rant about my position of preference. He’s been reading long enough to remember a private rant I once made about my preferences. The specific rant was from 5 or 6 years ago and went like this, “from a mechanical or physical point of view, I prefer to top…That said, I think I make a better bottom.” The original rant was when I first opened the private section of my blog, which deals w/more carnal discussions. I’d forgotten I’d even mentioned it. But as I went back and read it I was struck at how I phrased it.

For a long time I called myself a bottom because I didn’t feel like I measured up. My own view of masculinity, manliness, prowess, etc was all tied to my warped view of what a man was. I had a hard time imagining or seeing myself as that type of man, so I figured my role was to be a bottom. The irony was moving to SF helped me grow out of the insecurities I had over it. Even though I usually had more fun being the top, because of my own self-image/esteem issues, I never could identify accordingly. One might say I was a closeted top? lolol Funny, but true. The bottom to top ratio here is significantly high and if I wanted to get laid, I had to top more. Supply & demand at it’s finest, eh? Anyway, as I began to top more I realized I actually preferred it. Between the extra practice and my maturing ideas I no longer felt like I didn’t measure up. It’s weird how we can compartmentalize internal issues and not see them objectively. Something that is so clear to me now was completely beyond me at the time.1

I used to say it was easier being a bottom but that’s not exactly true. It’s easy being a top. And while being a good top takes some skill, it takes a lot more effort, patience, flexibility,2 and endurance to be a good bottom. I like to think when I did bottom I was good at it. Or at least I was told I was. Top or bottom, my energy is always the same so I do think I was good at it. 🙂 Regardless of position, be it comfort, pleasure, and/or choice, neither is a reflection on anyone’s manliness. Anyone who thinks such stupid ideas needs therapy.

True story, I’ve had more than one guy dump me because I didn’t put out enough, as the bottom. It’s not something I’m particularly proud of because, intentional or not, I misled people. One guy really read me the riot act and called me a tease. It was after him that I began to realize I was no longer worried about not being manly enough. Some of you long time readers will remember my experiment w/role playing and the boy from LA. After him, I knew that I no longer had to be anything I didn’t want to be. If I wanted to be a bottom, I could be. If I wanted to be a top, I could be. And be it lack of practice, my new-found confidence, aging, or all of the above, I don’t seem to enjoy bottoming much anymore. Oh, there are moments. hehehe The point I’m making is I still consider myself versatile to a degree. If I meet someone who likes to top as much as I do, I’ll make the effort. It may take some practice but I’m sure I could do it again.

So now you know one of my last big secrets. There isn’t many things that you few long termers don’t know about me know. lol

  1. Score another reason why I am happy I continue to blog []
  2. in more ways than one lol []

5 thoughts on “Flip”

  1. It's far easier to TOP. You just show up and do your thing. Prepping for it can be downright exhausting… especially if you are a perfectionist and a tad prone to OCD.

  2. Being a top is is easier. Being a bottom myself, (what a surprise) there's some prep-work involved, especially if you like to get pounded like a prison bitch like me. LOL Great, now I have to go to work and I'm horny thinking about you giving it to me good and hard. Damn You Moby! LOL

  3. Leave it to Moby to do it backwards. Almost all the guys I know who moved to San Francisco claimed to be a top, at first, because of the incorrect perceptions of being a bottom. After living there a while, they realized there ain't no shame in your game no matter what position you were in last night.

    (And just from my own personal survey, real tops are rare. Looks like somebody goin' to be gettin' lucky a lot!)

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