Daddy Issues

I know, I haven’t posted in forever. I’ve gotten several strongly worded emails reminding me of this fact. Never fear, I is here.

So, I discussed my age and aging in general a while back. (It’s been like forever, I know)  I thought I’d share a different perspective since a few folks thought I was getting all negative comments about my age.  That wasn’t my intent at all. It is just the opposite actually. I’ve apparently reached full daddy status. Or at least, a lot of the comments I get online indicate as much. hehehe  I don’t live for labels, but I don’t mind it at all.

The downside, unfortunately, is I’m not really into younger guys. And by ‘younger, I’m referring to being old enough to be your actual father. If you’re under 30 I usually feel like a dirty old man trying to paw at you. The irony in that is I used to live for guys in their 40’s when I was barely out of my teens. I’d get the vapors just thinking about it.1  I had zero hangups about the age difference when I was in my early 20’s. And I don’t really have any hangups about it now, I just don’t find myself attracted to guys with overly boyish looks.

Of course, now that “I’m” the older guy, I almost feel obligated to return the favor. lol  I’m sure plenty of guys would kill for the attention but it doesn’t really do much for me. I do keep a positive perspective on it as someday there won’t be much attention at all. We hate to admit it, but age (specifically how we look) does matter to our attractions. So I take it in stride and am appreciative.

From my own perspective, I don’t mind the label, even though we often put way too much emphasis on labels in our community. Ask 10 guys what the term “daddy” means and you’ll get 10 different answers. As for my own attractions, my range hasn’t changed much. Shawn is 10 years my junior, but being in his late 30’s, he is clearly well within my range. And to be fair, there are the random exceptions. Overall, I still find myself into guys in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s.

One thing I am noticing is there are fewer guys my age that work-out. I definitely notice the age difference in the gym, even here in SF where the median gay age is in the late 30’s. They aren’t non-existent, just a smaller part of the crowd now. And as I approach my 50’s, I still don’t mind my age. I like the wisdom that has come with my life experience. My only worry for the future is my libido. I’m 47 and I still have the same libido I did when I was 27. I don’t wanna be one of those old dudes leering at guys in the showers (or where ever). lolol  But hey, for someone who never thought he’d see 50, that is not a bad worry to have.

Hope springs eternal. . .




  1. I think in hindsight it had a lot more to do with a lacking father figure in my life and a burgeoning sexuality….I know, someone call Dr Phil! []

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