Category: HIV Info

Ignorant or Stupid

My dander is up today. Stupid people really work my last gay nerve.

Before I start let me explain something. There is a clear difference between ignorance and stupidity. Ignorance is the lack of knowledge. Stupidity, on the other hand, is the refusal or inability to process knowledge. In most respects they are a before and after state of being.

Ok, so my first bitch, I’m scrolling thru tribe today and I happen upon a thread about steroids. A HIV postive guy left a note saying he was interested in finding steroids to bulk up. He only mentions his HIV status in passing with his physical stats. While there were only a few comments, several were mean and one was just plain nasty. Oh but here’s the pisser! The comments were clearly based on negative ignorant perceptions. One guy assumed because the poster mentioned he was positive, he was using his status as an excuse. Even if he was, piss off! The poor man is dealing w/a terminal illness cut him some slack.

Knowing it wouldn’t do any good, I made an effort to correct said ignorance, not once but twice. I’m not for or against steroids. It’s a personal choice. And, I’ll be the first to admit I know poz guys who use their status as an excuse to bulk up legally. So what, if you fortunate enough to be healthy, count your blessings and move on. Until we have equal rights under the law in this country, I think we have bigger issues as gay men to be fighting over.

‘nuf said!

Then I’m reading bent collective’s rants about treating HIV patients in a third world country. Here we have a man who is giving up 6 months of his life to work in a true 3rd world country that doesn’t even like us. Apparently, a bitch fight breaks out over whether we should be tending to our own at home before offering his support overseas. One such person even goes so far to suggest the US is one step away from being a 3rd world country. Yes, news fans, read it again. One step away from being a 3rd world country. . . wait! what’s that noise…

*ring ring ring*

Why, it’s the clue phone! Hello! We are nowhere near close to being a 3rd world country! Making such statements takes you clearly out of the realm of ignorance and plants you firmly on the solid ground of stupidity. (note, I stopped here so I could edit out my several lines of curse words.) We have problems in this country. Yes, we do. But, our problems pale in comparison to the crisis that people face on a daily basis living in a 3rd world country. Anyone who is willing to give of themselves to help said people deserves our respect. Or at the very least, shut your pie hole and be grateful you live in a country where we have the luxury of such decisions.

I used to think I was very tolerant person. However, I’m guess I’m not. You know why? Because I have no use for stupid people anymore.

A Sliver of Hope?

I’m never one to get my panties in a wad too quickly. However, this article, courtesy of Towleroad, has me excited.

Researchers, including a BYU scientist, believe they have found a new compound that could finally kill the HIV/AIDS virus, not just slow it down as current treatments do.
And, unlike the expensive, drug cocktails 25 years of research have produced for those with the deadly virus, the compound invented by Paul D. Savage of Brigham Young University appears to hunt down and kill HIV.

Without delving into the conspiracy theories behind the lack of a cure thus far, wouldn’t it be a kick in the pants to the drug industry if a cure turned out to be cheaply made and easily mass produced?

I don’t think I know anyone who’s life hasn’t been touched by the loss of AIDS. If you, as a reader, have never known the suffering and anguish associated w/this horrible illness, I envy you. Having seen so many of the people I love succomb to this horrible disease, I am always heartened by advancing medicine.

It’s way too soon to be putting “out the word” but, the advances made in the last 5 years are changing the face of HIV prevention. Let’s hope this new discovery becomes a reality instead of just another flash in the fire!

No, Not Me! He Did It!

So following on the trail of Dunner and Steve, I thought I’d weigh in on recent news of HIV men arrested and even being sent to prison for not revealing their status to sex partners. One case, a women was arrested, sent to jail, and put on probation even though none of her sex partners sero-converted. Another case, a man faces 15 years in prison just for spitting on an officer. Spitting which has been repeatedly proven not to be a form of virus transmission. As if that wasn’t scary enough, another man was arrested and is being tried on higher charges for simply soliciting sex for money. He didn’t even HAVE sex. Yet, he is facing serious jail time, if not prison, out of fear, hate, and misinformation in a back-asswards state.

For the record, I do not condone deceit in any form. If you are poz, you have an obligation to let your partners know your status. You also shouldn’t assume because he isn’t putting a condom on, “he must be neg” or because “he didn’t ask me to put a condom on, he must be poz”. I’m not referring to anyone who would intentionally infect others. That’s a whole nother ball of wax.

Sending HIV-positive men/women to prison for poor judgement is not the answer. And it sets a dangerous precedent for everyone. Not to mention, creating laws liked this will only encourage more people not to get tested. Now how is that in any way productive? It isn’t.

And we know the straight white men in charge always do the right thing, right? Of course, if that were true, we wouldn’t be having this argument. We also would never have robbed the Indians of the their land, enslaved a whole race of human beings, objectified women for half a century, or abandoned a whole section of society simply because of their same-sex attractions.

What it boils down to is simple. Whether you are positive or negative, you are the only person responsible for your health as well as the decisions you make. If you want to stay negative, then you should make sure you have safe sex and/or have the balls to ask your sexual partners their status beforehand. Saying “well, he should have told me” and pointing blame is a cop out.

Death

Boy the shit is really rolling this week. I just discovered Roblog‘s ex passed away this week as well. If you don’t read roblog, his ex has been battling advanced HIV infections for some time now. It looked like he was on the mend as of late. I guess things must have taken a turn for the worse. If you can, take a moment to pass on good thoughts to rob. Nothing can take away the anguish but I believe love and the human spirit can endure the pain of death.

Death, itself, has been everpresent in my own life. I lost my mother at 7, my first love at 18, my grandmother at 26, a dear friend at 30, and most recently my father at 34. These are by no means the only losses in my life but the most significant. Even as a kid I saw death differently. I wondered why people were so sad if they really believed the dead were in a better place. When my mom died, I kept asking everyone when we could go visit her. Oh don’t get me wrong, I know if I lost Bobby or Trevan I’d be a mess. I’d bawl like a baby for awhile, you betcha. But afterwoods, I’d know they were still out there. I wouldn’t see them anymore but I’d carry the knowledge of their continued existence w/me thru my own life along w/my memories of them.

And as cheesy as it sounds, this song by Celine Dion always seems to cheer me up. So, listen if you want and take a moment to reflect on all the people you’ve lost in your life. Be thankful for what they brought you in this life and that you are blessed enough to still be here.

the SHOWER room

I was reading this rant from the SHOWER room and was greatly disturbed. As long as people like this keep getting away with it, they’ll keep doing it.

The gist of the story is one guy gave another guy water laced w/ghb. (a date rape drug of choice for the gay community among other things). The victim proceeds to pass out and the guy “has his way w/him” then has the audacity to act like it’s no big thing. The vicitm isn’t even sure if he wants to press charges.

Read the whole story for the details. Mind you it’s 2nd hand but very disturbing nonetheless.

Shame? No, I Don’t Think So

I must be PMS’ing this week. That or I’m still sick, cause this story brought me to tears. Being a cold hearted fag at times, not always an easy thing to do.

I’m hiv positive. i’m not a fucking hero. i’m just a guy who had unsafe sex and i’m paying for it the rest of my life. i was a stupid guy who contracted one of the worst diseases of modern time. yep that’s me. i’m stupid. just call me stupid, but don’t ever call me a hero. yes, i knew the risks. i grew up in the time of aids. i knew how devastating the disease had been to a generation before me. i heard the stories of the death count. i heard about the ways to prevent the disease. i knew condoms, condoms, condoms. i even spoke about hiv prevention in my high school. i was always telling my friends to use condoms. i was a living breathing public service announcement for hiv prevention. that was me. well actually that was just part of me. the other part was an insecure guy who just wanted to be loved.

i guess part of me trusted them. up until that point i’d never been a strong person. i’d pretty much let other people make decisions for me. so anyway, i would sleep with guys. i’d let them bareback me. i was young. i was invincible. i was the straight guy in his new sports car going 95 miles an hour down the highway. i was invincible…or so i thought.

First, let me clarify, I’m a big believer in personal responsibility. That’s not my beef today. And I’m not condoning risky behavior. My issue is a disturbing trend within our culture of treating anyone less perfect than ourselves as “less than human” and just writing them off. Well, life ain’t easy for all of us. For some of us it can be a unbearable unending hell at times. If it were so damn easy to make the right choices then we wouldn’t have tens of thousands of people dying every year from cigarette related cancer now would we? This is a serious problem people. And for the record, I’m not perfect and I’ve been guilty of this fallacy.

The snips above come from MeSouthern, who is an HIV + male. He converted at an early age. By his own admission, he knew of the risks, albeit indirectly, and made some bad decisions. So now should we write him off as undeserving of our sympathy? If you answer yes, then I hope you never know hard times because karma can be an ugly unrelenting teacher. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t we should glorify it either. Far too many guys these days, shake off the horrible aspects of being HIV+. Reality check, HIV is a terminal illness. That means there is NO cure for it. Granted we have some great drugs out there these days but not everyone responds so well and not all of these drugs are easy to take.

…the day my positive test results came back. that’s the day i knew it was time to take responsibility for my past mistakes. the past mistakes of being a stupid fucking whore, not a hero. here i sit now. my body is starting to fail me. it’s been about 4 years, since i got my test results back. i will soon be on meds, that will hopefully keep me alive. yes, i regret fucking every hot guy without a condom. yes, i regret using drugs. i should’ve known better; i did know better. aids isn’t pretty. it’s a very serious disease. it’s going to kill tons of people. it will probably kill me. oh well, does it matter? probably not because i’m a stupid fucking whore, who isn’t a hero. i should be ashamed of myself…

Is this what we are teaching our young people? If you make mistakes, shame on you? You no longer deserve our love/support? If so, then we need not worry about the christian not-so-right folks. We have a far greater enemy in ourselves.

Immune to HIV?

On a completely different rant….I was rolling thru my tech news updates and discovered this little gem.

…..All those with the highest level of HIV immunity share a pair of mutated genes — one in each chromosome — that prevent their immune cells from developing a “receptor” that lets the AIDS virus break in. If the so-called CCR5 receptor — which scientists say is akin to a lock — isn’t there, the virus can’t break into the cell and take it over.

To be protected, people must inherit the genes from both parents; those who inherit a mutated gene from just one parent will end up with greater resistance against HIV than other people, but they won’t be immune. An estimated 10 percent to 15 percent of those descended from Northern Europeans have the lesser protection……

I’ve lost several friends to this nasty bugger so I like to stay up-to-date. This was a total surprise but not completely unexpected. I can only hope it turns into a real weapon instead of just another theory.

Corporate Disgrace – Again

I don’t know if this is the first incident of 2005 but its the first I’ve noticed. Anyhoo, so get this. A guy is fired from a blood lab for disclosing he is HIV. A BLOOD LAB! The very people who should know better. (full story)
John Couture was hired by Bonfils Memorial Blood Center to work as a phlebotomist – a technician who draws blood – as part of a mobile blood collection team.
Several weeks into his training, he was informed that members of his training class would practice on each other to learn how to draw blood. Couture disclosed his HIV status to his employer to avoid the possibility that one of one of his colleagues would come into contact with his blood during this one-time training. As a result, Bonfils Memorial Blood Center fired him from his position as a phlebotomist, yet allowed him to apply for an inferior position in the production department where he would have no contact with blood donors.

Wait, I know what you’re thinking, “this sounds like a bad episode of Nip/Tuck“. No, I’m afraid not, this really happened. How often do you hear of a phlebotomist saying oops, silly me, I drew my own blood and, *feigned laugh* I accidentally put in your vial” I mean how stupid do these people have to be? Basically, he’d have to draw someone’s blood, stick himself w/a needle draw some of his own blood and then inject it into a used vial.

*ring ring, its the clue phone*

Ok see now this just pisses me off!

They can give $35 MILLION to the faith based initiatives but screw increasing the Ryan White Act Funding. Explain to me how that would make sense to anyone but a narrow minding, republican?

This is the reason people need to get out and vote! Lets face it people The Ryan White Acct is the single LARGEST funding program for people w/HIV and disabling AIDS. And our glorious president, who preached inclusiveness and tolerance, has formed a committee that has recommended to NOT increase funding for the Act.