Today’s Ramblings

I’m feeling pretty good about myself today. I’m slowly getting stuff unpacked, etc. I’m doing my darndest to get back into an everyday routine again. For an Aquarian, thats an odd thing but, I need some stability right now.

Its nice to see all the Xmas blogs going around. I won’t be spending much this Xmas on pressies as I’m flat broke. That said, I’m more into the spirit of it anyway so I’m not really upset over it. Not to mention, I’m normally a big spender so I think my friends/family can bear w/me this year. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m blue over the ex not being here but, life does go on right?

Anyway, as expected my DSL is down. This time both the phone line and the DSL are screwed up. The tech is coming tomorrow to look into it. Luckily, someone in the area has an open access point so I’ve been able to piggy back via wifi for the last couple of days. That said, the signal is weak so I keep losing it. I’m amazed how much technology I take for granted in my everyday life. Not only that, I’m always surprised at how quickly wifi has been adapted by the masses. I’m on the 5th floor and I can pick up 5-9 wifi points at any given time. All are encrypted so I can use’em but, thats alot!

Gotta cut this one short as it is time to head off to work.

Moved – Final Chapter

Say it with me….I am finally fucking done moving! Twice in 15 days and I’m SOOOOOO over it. *G*

So, I’m in the new place which is sort of the old place. If you’ve been keeping up you know exactly what I mean. If you haven’t, for shame! I’m slowly settling in. The only thing worse than packing is unpacking! Of course, I tend to stick stuff in any box it will fit so after making myself open every box, I’m discovering stuff I forgot I had!

On a related rant, I feel like this is the end of a chapter in my life. Not sure where its coming from really. Maybe its the little bits of my karma I’ve seen coming back to me over the last few days. Who knows. I just have this growing feeling of closure. Just in the last month I’ve survived a breakup w/the boyfriend, two separate moves (and all that entails), and switching gyms over a greedy manager. Other than being flat broke for the first time in a long time, I think things are looking up. Maybe, its jut having a moment to breath w/o worrying about the future. Dunno for sure but I like it. Hopefully, I’ve seen the last of heavy drama for awhile. I haven’t quite worked it all out in my head at the moment so more later…

418 Brewing

Let me explain. 418 (four eighteen) is the police code in SF for a fight. Today the owner of the house, I’m moving out of, had the audacity to ask me for prorated rent for the 3 days in December that I’ll be here. (For those of you just tuning in, read the whole store here.) I guess my temper must have been brewing over the way I’m getting shafted because I let him have it! I was so riled up, at one point, I think I was actually frothing at the mouth! The nerve of that fucker! After all he has put me thru this past month. Not only am I moving out w/o making a fuss but, I’m doing it quickly. I’ve managed to find a new place again within only 15 days of my move-in.

Legally, I could stay and force his hand and not pay him a dime beyond what was originally agreed. I had thought about it but, it’s just not worth it. I like my drama to be low. If he is this two faced now, I’m not sure what to expect later on. Oh but wait, there’s more! Only 5 days after I agree to move out he is already asking me, “have you found a place yet?” Five freaking days!

SF has some really tough housing ordinances on the books and most of them favor the tenants. After reading off the numerous rental ordinances he had violated, he was not so quick to push for more money. (I rarely make idle threats) Not to mention, I’ve held up my bargain since the beginning.

Anyway, I guess I’ve been holding it in because now that it’s over I feel a lot better! My friends always tell me I’m too nice. I’m not perfect, I’ll be the first to admit it. That said, I’ve learned, the hard way, your word is the only true bond you can give someone. I try to live my life w/integrity and honesty and expect the same of others. I can say, without any hesitation, that I’ve kept up my end of the deal. Even now, I’m still a bit dumbfounded that he actually had the balls to look me in the eyes and ask for MORE money. Especially after his little speech to me about not needing to rent the house out all. Oy vey!

Well, like I said, I feel a lot better now. [Jim Carey Voice] “I have exorcised the demons!” Gotta run, I have to get packing!

The Move – 2nd edition

Ok, well for those of you just turning in, I’m moving AGAIN this Thursday and Friday. Where? you might ask. Right back into the same place I just moved from. Just a different apt this time.

I spent the better part of the morning on the phone begging utility companies not to double charge me for transfer fees. No luck I’m afraid. However, all is not lost. My Karma, while a bit scarce this month, is slowly coming back strong. I got the same size apt for only a fraction more in rent than before. I could have ended up paying a lot more as the rental rates have been on a steady rise since June. The leasing company was more than happy to take me back. I had to re-apply but, was approved right away. I ended up w/the same size unit w/a different layout. I have twice as much closet space than the old apt, better views, and new carpet & tile so all and all not a bad deal.

The only downer is I’m so strapped financially, I’m not even sure I can cover the expenses for the rest of the month. And don’t even mention Christmas. I’m normally very generous so I think my friends/family can make do w/o me for one year. Who knows? Maybe I’ll defy the odds and win the lotto. Course, that means I have to actually play lotto first. [mental note – play lotto]

I actually came home early tonight as I’ve been feeling achey all day. I’m crossing my fingers that a good night’s rest will do the trick. I just don’t think my battered id will survive another attack right now. If you see headlines about a “crazy fag gone wild at a Uhaul center…”it means I lost it! *sigh* Seriously though, I’m actually in good spirits. With all the bad shit these last couple of months, things seem to be slowly turning around.

Wish me luck!

Frustration�

First off, my DSL is STILL down. SBC can go @#$%! themselves for all I care. If its not up tomorrow, I’m canceling and going w/Comcast, fee or no fee. The service is active but I keep getting the run-a-round as to why its not working. Its either their server or server connection…blah blah blah. I just want my freaking DSL working already. I’m like an addict w/o his drugs here….

On a depressing note, looks like I’ll be moving AGAIN. Yes, you read it right, AGAIN! As if I didn’t have enough drama in my life right now. This past thur/fri, I moved my stuff into the new place. Along the way, I encounted a few problems.

Problem #1:
The U-haul truck breaks down and has to be towed back to the yard. As luck would have it, it was half full so I got to reload it onto a new truck.1 The saving grace to all the drama w/the truck is I ended up not paying a dime. At least I got a small silver lining on this cloud.

Problem #2:
I finally get to the new place and the owner isn’t out yet. He was supposed to be out the first week of November. Here it is the 13th and he is still dragging his feet. Not unsurmountable but still annoying.

Problem #3: (and yes, I saved the best for last)
He leaves a lease agreement on the table for me to “look over” and sign. After moving my stuff in all day, I finally take a look at it and discover out of nowhere, he wants 3 months worth of rent up front. Basically, first months rent and then 2 more months as a deposit.

Now let me clarify at this point, HE came to me asking if I wanted to move into his place so he’d have someone he trusted in the house. He actually bent over backwards to make the offer appealing enough to me so I’d actually move. (The house is in the ‘burbs of SF and I like being in the center of the city) At no time does he ever discuss a deposit. It was all discussed as a verbal agreement between friends. Frankly, I wasn’t ready to move. I had given the idea some thought w/the breakup and all but hadn’t made any serious plans. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind paying a deposit or signing a lease but, 3 MONTHS! Thats fucking ridiculous. So after several arguments (I use the term “argument” loosely at this point) the deal is off and I’m looking for yet another place. I’m so annoyed I think I could really just snap if someone pushes me this week. I’ll probably end up here for at least 2 months while I save up money and search for a place. And just in time for Christmas. Merry fucking Christmas!

At this point, I’ve had some time to calm down. I should mention there have been some bright spots in my week as well. The ex is out of course. He moved in w/his best friend so at least that’s over. I discovered an old collection account from Cingular has been removed from my credit. Apparently, Cingular lost a class action law suit over unfair business practices and improperly charging customers. Score one for the little guys!

On a completely unrelated note, I made a casual date w/this hottie I often see at the gym. (No no drama fans, I’m not rushing into anything. Just a casual date for fun.) So maybe next week well go a little better! Hope springs eternal….

  1. Oh the joy! []

Moving & Separation

Well, I’ve been busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest this past week so haven’t been posting much lately. I had all these great rants I wanted to squeeze in but now I’ve misplaced/forgotten half of them.

I mentioned a few blogs back that I was moving. Well, today was the day. I am finished w/the first day of the move. I’m about mid way thru it and I don’t mind telling you I am tuckered out. I’ve been moving/packing all freaking day and I’m soooo over it. (g) I’m still torn about the move itself. I’m gonna be saving buttloads of cash but I really hate not being in the heart of the city. That said, I need to recoup from my financial losses this past year. (Yes, taking care of shithead was a big part of it) Not to mention, I plan to start paramedic training in the Spring or Fall. First and foremost though, I plan to be debt free by summertime. I don’t have that much debt in the scope of things. However, I’m tired of it constantly being over my head.

Since I mentioned Shithead, I guess I should give you the update on him as well. Surprisingly, he (my ex) came back from Palm Springs and didn’t put up a fight at all about me asking him to move out. As expected, he is moving-in with his best friend. He also helped out quite a bit getting ready for the move. Of course, the fact that I’m letting him store ALL his stuff at my new place for free until he gets back on his feet might have something to do with it. Everyone says I’m being too nice to him after the way he has wronged me. Try as I might, I just can’t be cruel in return. I was mistreated for so much of my childhood that I can’t or better yet, I won’t inflict that sort of torment on someone I care about. Make no mistake, I have no illusions that we’ll ever be together again. That said, I find that I’m still very much in love with him.

Tomorrow is the last day we will spend together and I just know I’m gonna be all blubbery about it. Being a typical Aquarian I’m loyal to the bitter end I guess.

Moving – AGAIN!

I have to start getting my butt in gear. I’m moving next weekend to a house near Balboa Park. I absolutely detest moving. I’d pay someone else to do it if I could afford it. But cash flow is the reason I’m moving in the first place, so maybe next time.

I shouldn’t bitch I guess. I mean I’m moving to from a tiny 1 bedroom apt into 2bedroom house w/garage, etc. I’m making out like a bandit on the rent as well.

Why can’t someone invent teleporters so we can just zap our furniture places! I think that would be the best contribution anyone could make to the 21st century. Oh well, one can dream.

The Trip – Short Version

Its amazing what some time away can do for the soul. The trip was fantastic! Surf/Sun was the order dejour with a little wave running thrown in for good measure. I’m condensing it here but if you want more details, check out the long version

I seemed to have lost the flash disc w/most of the pics on it however, I did manage to salvage a few from the camera. I can’t tell how much better I feel afterwards. Not to mention it gave me some time away from the ex to clear my head and remember what’s important to me in my life. The pain is still there, no doubt, but I’m coping w/that and am in a much better place mentally now.

I’ve been working out pretty hard this last year and was very pleased w/the ‘attention’ I got while away. hehehe I know, vain and shallow but I need some attention too! (G) I also got a good tan working now too!

Back Home

WOW! What a great trip. I’m back in town and will add details when I get time. I’m rushed today so bear w/me. I’m also annoyed that I can’t add all my pics as one blog instead of several. I’m also seem to be missing one of the flash disks….

That said, I had a great time and will post more details soon. *hugs to all*

Giving Up

After an argument today with the bf (or ex-bf I should say), it has become very clear to me he has no desire to reconcile and never has. With that in mind, I have given up any hope of salvaging our 3 1/2 year relationship. Most of my anger last night was over this very revelation. I must confess I’m still mystified as to why he doesn’t even care to try. Today, his only feeble attempt at a reason was “we’ve grown apart.” In the breadth of the last year, we’ve somehow grown apart. I could insert some really mean things here but what’s the point? It won’t change anything and really wouldn’t make me feel any better either.

I also discovered he is rather annoyed that I post my feelings on this blog. Several of our mutual friends, along w/a gaggle of nosey watchdogs, read it and run back to him wanting details. I make no apologies for the way I feel. I’ve said nothing here that I haven’t told him face to face. Is he afraid people will judge him based solely on my comments? If so, that’s his problem. This is my way of working thru the pain and disappointment of being discarded like yesterdays trash. I’ve been there for him thru thick and thin. I encouraged him when he was down and I applauded him when he was up. This is what I get in return.1 After the way he so casually dismissed the life we had together, I’m not even sure I could take him back now.

The only thing left to do now is put it behind me, pick up the pieces of my broken heart and move on.

  1. Do I sound bitter here? I think so too []