Category: work

Random Bits 2023

I haven’t done a Random Bits post in forever…or blog for that matter. Well, new year, new me, right? Where does the time go…?

I bought a new and improved air fryer awhile back and I’ve been on a cooking kick ever since. Technically, we already have an air fryer but the old one just wasn’t cutting it. I upgraded to the Ninja Double XL and it is a boss! [1]You know you’re old when you’re excited about an air fryer The old one was a Ninja, but it was flat with an option to flip up when not in use. It was great for saving counterspace, but it didn’t leave much room for anything heavy duty and was a major pain to clean. This one actually puts a nice crisp on chicken as well.

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I’ve been making Shorts on YouTube. Basically, it’s Google’s attempt to take on "the Tiktok." It is not quite as user friendly, but TT could be banned soon if you work for any government agency. I’d rather not have to delete all my vids. My Google profile is one of the few under Sfmobius instead of the generic Ibod8x5 handle I use everywhere else. If you care to subscribe, go for it but not using it daily yet. Just random bits that strike me as funny. [2]See what I did there?

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Work has been a mess, but that is sort of normal. Sadly, we are shorter now than we’ve ever been. There are fewer of us now than when I started. We are doing triple the work with fewer people. I’m actually considering changing jobs. I’d stay in civil service and most likely within the same dept, just a different division. The software project I worked on and my stint in records reminded me I have other skill sets. Let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger and I certainly do not wish to be in my 60’s still answering 911 calls. [3]I can’t retire with full benefits until age 62. It’s not a definite but I’m keeping my eyes open for available positions.

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SF has had a ton of rain this season. Oddly, we need it as we seem to get less and less fog every year now. The last couple storms have been close to what we would consider a normal storm back in TX. They even had thunder and lightning. Both of the latter are very unusual for SF. People talk about it for weeks afterwards. This has been a definite rainy season for the whole state. Even the perpetually dry Southeastern side of Cali might be out of "drought" for the first time in years.

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I could fill pages with my thoughts on the state of world affairs, but that is sooooo depressing. Don’t get me started. I avoid the news as much as I can most days as it’s all just frustrating. We’ve come so far and seem to be going backwards now. If another human tells me they "long for the good ole days" I swear I may punch them in the dick. The good ole days were great only if you were straight, white, and male.

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Yes, I know the sfmoby.com site is a mess. IG changed the rules for sharing to third party sites and I haven’t had the time or will power to sit down and sort it all out. Speaking of IG, I find myself using it less and less. Meta is determined to turn it into TikTok and failing miserably at it.

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Daisy is sassy as ever. We had to upgrade to a king size bed because she kept pushing Shawn off the bed at night. It’s all his doing anyway. When we first rescued her, I wanted her to sleep on the floor but nooooo, we had to let her sleep in the bed. 🙂 We bought a Nolah mattress; a hybrid foam/traditional. It was rated very high for side sleepers. So far, we really like it. The last one didn’t hold up well at all. We’d only had it a couple years. The new bed dominates the room but honestly, we don’t do much in there but sleep anyway. Shawn and I have both noticed a significant difference in our sleep patterns. While I snore less since the nasal surgery, we both snore and we both seem to snore a little less as well. That, or we are far enough part not to wake each other up as often. hehehe

Enough rambling for now, time to try a new air fryer recipe.

References

References
↑1 You know you’re old when you’re excited about an air fryer
↑2 See what I did there?
↑3 I can’t retire with full benefits until age 62.

Work, Bish!

My work assignment in records ended a couple weeks back now. While it was an enjoyable and relatively easy gig, I’m glad to be back on the main floor doing my primary job. If you missed it, I was assigned to records for my Department for the last five years. And yes, it’s as tedious and mundane as it sounds. However, after 15 years it gave me a break from the daily onslaught of negativity from handling life/death calls.

I took the assignment because I recognized I was becoming bitter and resentful toward the public. I mean no one calls 911 because they are happy, right? I consider myself fortunate as I seem to handle it well. I don’t dwell on bad calls or worry about the outcome. To do so would constitute a no-win scenario. In other words, I would burn out. However, handling life/death calls day in and day out for 15 years creates a trauma all its own and I needed a break.

My hubby thinks it’s weird that I’m happy to be back. I’m going from a comfy administrative gig to live fire, so to speak. I can see how he could think that, but I am happy to be back. The five-year break was exactly what I needed to reset my clock. I also didn’t sign up to be an admin clerk for the rest of my career. While it is a fine job, I’m overpaid for that type of work. I even miss the indignant callers. [1]It’s hard to explain but after so many years of doing this job, they bring a sense of normalcy. It would be weird to be back and not encounter them. lol

The best part is no more alarm clock! I’ve gone back to my old shift, 1500-2300 hours (3pm to 11pm) Mon thru Fri. Because I work out 3-5 days a week, the 10-hour schedule really pulled down my mental well-being. And we know gym is like church! hehehe Every day I felt constantly rushed to get everything done so by the weekend I just wanted to veg. The COVID restrictions only made it easier to just stay home. I didn’t have to find reasons to get out of doing things because we couldn’t. I’m glad it’s over. The downside is being on my old schedule comes with a lot more rigidity and getting time off beyond my required vacation sign ups is very limited. So it isn’t all rosy. lol

The early hours were rough enough, but the constant feeling of being rushed sucked major donkey balls. I am soooo happy to be back on a swing shift. My body fought the early shift pretty much the whole time. While I did adapt a bit to the early hours, after about a week my natural clock was already back to normal, and it feels great! I’m loving going to the gym before work and not being up a daylight-thirty. Shawn noticed the first week and pointed out I was almost giddy.

So there ya have it! I’m BACK! lol

References

References
↑1 It’s hard to explain but after so many years of doing this job, they bring a sense of normalcy. It would be weird to be back and not encounter them. lol

Assignment

I got my final orders today. I return to my main job on July 5th. What the hell am I talking about? Well, let me ‘esplain’. I’ve been assigned to records production for my department for the last 5 years. It is a voluntary assignment we bid for and I was fortunate to be selected, but now that assignment is ending. In my assignment we handle subpoenas for criminal/civil litigation, freedom of information requests, human service agency requests, and various other types of requests for records relating to dispatch.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it but my biggest struggle has been the hours. When I originally signed up, the hours were more to my liking. Due to the typical broken internal communication of civil service, I discovered after I was reassigned my hours would be earlier and longer than originally planned. If you read here with any sense of regularity, you know I am NOT a morning person. More astutely, I’m not an early to bed person. To be fair, I could have declined the assignment once I discovered the error; however, I had already made a commitment and I really needed a break from operations. I decided to stick it out. I could have also pushed for different hours from my counterpart in the office. That would have most likely led to friction and an uneven work load. I didn’t want friction or drama and I got lucky in that I get along really well with the other person assigned to records. I’m fond of saying, “we get along like two peas in a pod”.

There have been some great perks to the assignment. The work is tedious but not hard at all. It becomes routine pretty fast. We do have a manager but we are mostly left to ourselves. We are experts in our assignment and no one in our department can really match our knowledge base. Perhaps the biggest perk is the flexibility with my daily schedule. I will definitely miss that. My normal schedule can be very rigid and getting time off can also be very hard due to staffing shortages. In my assignment, I only need to make sure my coworker can cover for me or isn’t taking the same time off. If we finish our work early on a given day, we can take discretionary time and leave early. If we need money we can work overtime on the floor at our choosing. For myself, if I want to go the gym mid day I can. I just need to ensure I still put in the required workday hours before I go home. I can’t workout on the City’s dime obviously. That would be really rude, not to mention unethical. And we go out of our way to ensure our hours are properly accounted for and tracked. But yeah, the flexibility has been nice. I’ve also learned a lot. Knowledge is power and the more you have the better you are at making good decisions. I know so much more about the inner and outer workings of my department and my own work now.

All that aside, I am ready to go back though. Shawn is surprised I would rather go back to handling emergencies vs keeping a nice comfy office gig. And I can see how that might sound, but I didn’t sign up to be a general clerk cranking out paperwork all day. It has been a much needed break, but that is over. He also tends to think I’ll hate going back to my normal job as I routinely bitch about calls I deal with in my current assignment. In my regular job taking phone calls is my job. So while it can be stressful, I still feel productive. On my assignment taking calls is a distraction from my work so it is way more frustrating. It may some conflicting, but in my mind it is clearly defined. I love that he worries for me though. And it isn’t like a I have a choice anyway. My assignment is up, it is someone else’s turn. My replacement has already started.

The one good thing about dispatch is never worrying about what’s on my plate. When I’m in Ops, I do not think about work until I show up. And when I leave, it is forgotten until I return. In records, I find myself often worried about incoming work, how much work is on my desk, etc. Every time I get a news alert for a major crime or incident in the city, I audibly groan knowing my next work day is going to be overly busy. I am definitely looking forward to having that care-free attitude when I’m not at work.

I decided to go back on my old shift, which was 1500-2300 hours (3pm to 11pm). I have seniority so I still get weekends. I can actually pull weekend days off on any shift I choose now. Better still, no more alarm clock and no more feeling rushed every day on a 10-hour shift. I can go to the gym without feeling rushed and I sleep in as needed. It is amazing what that 2 hours in a day can make. I didn’t realize it but the shift combined with the very early hours was damaging my emotional well-being. I rarely want to travel or do things on weekends. Shawn gets credit for basically dragging me places he wants to visit. I just never feel motivated to do much at all beyond local events. And being in SF can leave you a bit spoiled as we have so many events here every year. The pandemic only made it worse as I got really complacent with my video games. I think the only reason I still have an ass I can measure is I had cut out most carbs right before the pandemic hit.

As I return to a schedule I really want, I am hope to get some of that eagerness and excitement back outside of work. Ironic, I know but I’m excited. If it ever affects how Shawn and I spend time together, I would of course reevaluate it, but for now I’m looking forward to it.

Boring

I wish I could say my life has been extremely busy lately, which would account for my lack of blogging. Nope. Just the usual boring stuff. Daily life revolves around work, dog, gym, video games, sleep, and repeat.  Exciting huh?

Let me delve into the excitement further since you are just dying to know more, right? lol [1]I have several readers who live afar who yell at me when I go too long without blogging. Work is work. I STILL struggle with my schedule. I have just resigned myself to it though, even though I hate it. I hate working 10 hour days. I usually waste the 3rd day off as Shawn works. I often nap and video game the day away. Beyond that, I stay pretty busy at work so there is often no dead spots to blog. We are still incredibly short staffed. Our director has been hiring out the wazoo, but it’s only staved off attrition so far. I am confident the new staffing will make a dent eventually. Beyond that, same sh#t, different day. I joined a 2nd committee with the Union I belong to. Lawd, what was I thinking? Drama to the max.

Dog. Cooper is fine for the most part. He is getting older now. He’ll be 8 in May which is old age for bullies. He had some scares this past year but has been fine since then. I’ve had him on a diet and he is down to a slim 57 lbs. heehee  The goal is to hit 55. He hasn’t had any limps or unusual flare ups with discomfort so hopefully, the drop in weight is helping. He has developed this lovely groaning noise out of the blue. When he stretches, hops up quickly, or rolls around too much he’ll let out a sort of audible groan. It isn’t something he consciously does. It’s kinda cute. If I hadn’t just had him tested for cancer a few months ago I’d be freaked out. I just chalk it up to his ever lovely personality. He doesn’t like to do walks as much as he used to. I make up for by taking him for a ride in a zipcar anytime I have to run errands. He loves it.

Gym. Gym is progressing nicely. I’m back in the swing of things and have been for a while now. I’m liking the new routine I designed for myself. It works with my longer work schedule, even though I still end up rebelling when it comes to bedtime some nights.  I’ve put on a few lbs of muscle [2]sadly, it’s just gaining back what I lost before but I’ll take it and lost a few lbs of fat. I’m almost to the peak range I like to be in. I don’t kill myself dieting, which is why the fat loss is going slow. I happy overall with where I am so I don’t feel compelled to put myself on a super strict regimen. I am trying to cut back on eating out as much. Some weeks I succeed, others I fail miserably. I’m still a bit heavier than I want to be so I continue to trim away at it. My belly is the biggest area needing work. I miss the days when my ass got fat. It all goes to my belly now.

Video Games. I’ve almost completely lost interest in Destiny 2. It has been a let-down of sorts. It doesn’t hold my attention like disc 1 did. It’s hard to explain. It isn’t one big thing but many smaller things that just make it less fun. I picked up Metal Gear Solid: Phantom Pain. I played the short version they originally released it it was ok. This one is a solid game, albeit an oddly chaotic and confusing story line. Since the game has bounce around on Nintendo, Sony, and now Xbox, you would probably be in the minority if you knew the entire story-line. I finished the campaign and have been going back thru leveling up thru side missions and extra hard main missions. I’ve been at it for months now so I’m slowly wearing out on it. I discovered last month they finally ported one of my all time favorite games to the XOne, The Darkness II.  Sadly, no port of game one. However, even with the old cheesy graphics its been fun playing again. The story is simplistic enough but it manages to pull you in and you get hooked. I still enjoy playing it. I have a few new game sin the queue that need some attention. I expect to get to them shortly.

Shawn is still loving his new job. He is settling into a routine and has yet to come home upset over anything. It’s been nice. hehehe

So you see, I’ve been very busy not being busy.

References

References
↑1 I have several readers who live afar who yell at me when I go too long without blogging.
↑2 sadly, it’s just gaining back what I lost before but I’ll take it

Loss

A retired coworker passed away this week. We found out yesterday. She gave 52 years of her life to public service. You read that right, 52 years!

She was an icon of sorts. You either liked her or hated her.There was usually no in between. I sill can’t get over how long she worked. Fifty two years! I’m just in awe of that. She started 5 years before I was born. I can barely imagine working the 30 I need to retire at full benfit.

She could be a pain in the ass a times as she was a bit of a micro-manager. That said, she was also a kind caring person. She would give you the shirt of her back if she thought you needed it. So while she would drive many of us nuts at times, we still liked her. I adored her. And while I would join in at times poking fun at her, I did so in the spirit of affection. Honestly, after 52 years of service she could do whatever the hell she wanted IMO. lol

I never told many people this but she gave me the down payment for my first motorcycle. I’d been with the dept barely two years at the time. She had overheard me talking to a classmate that I was struggling to come up with the money needed. [1]My credit wasn’t the greatest back then and we made a lot less in salary. I discovered a check tucked into my laptop bag later that night with a note telling me not to rush to pay her back. I had already bought the bike but had stretched myself beyond the breaking point. The purchase was an impulse buy. And while I didn’t regret it, her offer saved me from a very unpleasant conversation with my landlord at the time. I busted my hump working overtime to make sure I paid her back in just a few months. I never forgot her generousity.

We didn’t always get along so well. But we always seemed to get passed any hard feelings. Knowing her the way I did, I just couldn’t bring myself to hate her when she drove me crazy at work. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise I took her death a little hard. I was a bit surprised at how upset I got. She had not been in the best health lately so we all sort of knew it was on the horizon eventually. I guess when you think of someone as an institution unto themselves it is easy to over look their mortality.

Judy, you will not be forgotten. You made your mark on us and it won’t soon fade.

References

References
↑1 My credit wasn’t the greatest back then and we made a lot less in salary.

One Year

Well, it’s been 1 whole year since I took my admin assignment at work. My how time flies. It doesn’t seem that long at all.

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One year ago

I’m still enjoying the assignment. And yes, I’m still struggling with the hours. I just can’t seem to develop a consistent rhythm. It’s the going to bed part I struggle with. I can’t seem to get sleepy around 2100 (09:00pm). If I hit the gym hard that day I usually start getting a wee bit sleepy by then; however, if it’s a cardio or off day I’m awake for at least another hour. This makes me sleepy the next damn day. Arrrrgh.

Beyond the hours, I’ve settled into it. It isn’t hard, I just crank thru documents and audio/video files on a daily basis. Work comes in, work goes out, work comes in, work goes out…and repeat the next day. Pretty simple. I’ve learned quite a bit about our local Sunshine ordinance as well as our version of the Freedom of Information Act. [1]FOIA applies to federal agencies. We have the California Public Records Act (CPRA) which almost mirrors the FOIA one.  I still work overtime from time to time in operations. It keeps my skills up and I miss the camaraderie of being with my coworkers. I’m isolated in a tiny office with just one coworker. We get along just peachy (some might say too well. heehee) but it isn’t the same as being in a room with a group of your peers.

The assignment is up to 5 years so I’m barely a year in. I have the option of rotating out after 3 years. I’m not sure I’ll stay the full 5. On the upside, I’ve finally gotten used to having holidays off! It was a bit surreal after over a decade of working most holidays. One can actually plan to do things that aren’t just on my weekend. Who knew!? hehehe  Half the time, we just sit at home and enjoy the time off. I’ve become such a home body. I’m still struggling to shrug it off. I know we should be out doing ‘stuff’, but video games and the couch are always so alluring. Shawn is just as bad; however, he seems to shrug it off a little easier than I do. He helps motivate me to plan trips and get out of the city.

So here I sit ‘working’ up a storm. It’s my Friday on a holiday week and I’m looking forward to the weekend!

References

References
↑1 FOIA applies to federal agencies. We have the California Public Records Act (CPRA) which almost mirrors the FOIA one.

Nap

It’s been almost 6 months at my new gig at work and my body is still fighting the new schedule. I am just not an early to bed person. Getting up isn’t much of a struggle. As soon as the phone goes off, Cooper is up and at’em. If I don’t get up he is pawing at the bed in moments so any chance of falling back to sleep are slim to none. hehehe  Getting my ass into bed at a decent hour to get a full 8 hours is the problem. I hear people all the time talk about how little sleep they need (or get).  News flash, your body needs sleep. You can get by but in the long run it isn’t healthy. And if you’re an avid gym-goer like me, sleep is even more vital. 

I’ve embraced napping. I was never a big napper but I do often now. I struggled at first but my body seems to be adapting to it. I’ll rush home, get naked,crawl in bed, and turn all the lights out. Of course, Cooper has to nap with me! haha  IF I can get him to settle quickly, I can squeeze in a quick 20-30 minute nap before the gym. I’m usually groggy but I wake up pretty quickly and by the time I get the gym I feel more energized.

Frankly, I am just no good w/o sleep. This is probably why I spent 12 years working swing shift. I miss waking up when I wanted; having no alarms was awesome! Lawd, I miss those days. I highly recommend it if you get an opportunity. Anyway, back on topic, if I don’t get sleep, I’m a cranky bitch. Being on a 4-10 schedule makes it rough to get a lot of sleep. Ugh. I have to be disciplined or I end up screwed the next day. I start out with the best intentions, “I must get to bed on time, I must get to bed on time.”  That turns into, “well, I have 30 more minutes before I HAVE to be in bed.”  This doesn’t include the 30 mins it usually takes me to get ready for bed. Cooper has to be fed and walked. If I didn’t shower at the gym, I get my shower in before bed. I usually try to get my cl0thes out for the next day as well. And considering I give myself just enough time to wake up, get Cooper settled, and then out the door, there isn’t room for chores in the morning. 

To be fair, my body is slowly adjusting. I do find I get sleepier earlier now. I’m not quite on the old person schedule yet but I’m hoping I adjust soon. I hate the constant struggle against my schedule. I don’t know how my coworker does it with kids. I’d be a wreck. hahaha  Granted she doesn’t hit the weights 5 days a week but still. Being in TN this past weekend with my brother and his kids gave me a new perspective on raising kids. It ain’t for me! 

I’m gonna give it a full year to see if I can force my body to comply. If not, I’ll look into what it would take for me to switch back to a 5-8 schedule at work. It would be slightly more work for me and slightly less for my coworker but if I can’t force my rhythms to adjust, it would be worth it. On a related tangent, I almost quick this job a year into it on my own (after training). I got bumped to mids for 6 months and it was just awful. I could not sleep. I ended up getting sick twice and had I not been able to go back to swing shift at the next sign up, I would have quit. Clearly, I’m not giving up this asisgnment but I do think there would be some flexibility if I really needed it. 

As always, hope springs eternal…

Busy

I have been busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest! Oh lawd baby jeebus.

So yeah, my new admin gig keeps me pretty busy. It didn’t help my coworker went on vacation. (I’m not complaining at all. Vacation is good)  On the flip-side my paycheck should be phat this next payday. haha  I do like it overall, but I’m still struggling with the hours. Being up at 5:00 am is painful. To be more accurate, it isn’t the getting up part, it’s the going to bed part I struggle with. For the life of me, I am still struggling to get to bed in time to get a full 8-hours. It’s been easily a month now. It doesn’t help Shawn has become so accustomed to my late schedule that he is totally out of sync w/me now. I barely see him weeknights. [1]I’m sure he likes the down time.  I’ve also been rather sad over all the recent tragedies going on. I just can’t bear to dive into it for awhile. So many wrongs on all sides and it is only getting worse. But I digress…

It doesn’t help that my ‘quick’ naps end up being 2 hour naps usually.  I mean what gives with that? I used to be the king of power naps. I could close my eyes and get a 15-20 min power nap and feel refreshed. Now, I’m down for the count. haha  Damn getting old.  Being on a 10-hour day means hitting the ground running or I miss something. So far it seems to be a toss-up between sleep and gym time. Arrgh. The struggle is real.

Cooper has adjusted fine. He is awake and ready as soon as he hears my alarm kick on. It’s a routine fight not to trip and fall over him hovering under my feet in the dark. All he knows is daddy gets up in the dark to feed him and he gets to go back to sleep when daddy leaves. Rude!

Anyway, I haven’t mentioned any of my traveling plans as of late. Shawn and I have been on a tear these last few weekends. I’ll get to it as I figure out my new rhythms. At least the new gig is going well. I enjoy my coworker (we’ve always gotten along well) and the work keeps me busy. I’m learning different aspects of the legal and criminal systems, which is always good. I just need to get the schedule under control.

And speaking of, the next batch of work just arrived.

 

 

References

References
↑1 I’m sure he likes the down time.

911

I don’t talk about work a lot here as I often feel it is just too much for people. It was never really the purpose of my blog either. The first thing a person often asks me when they discover my line of work, "What is the worst call you’ve ever taken?" Honestly, I’ve taken so many calls over the years, there really isn’t just one or two. I also like to think I don’t remember calls simply because of how awful they are. Actually, I know that is true. But yeah, there are always calls that stick with you for one reason or another. I can name on two hands the calls that have stuck with me. I guess that is good considering it has been 15 years! In no particular order:

1) Gay guy shoots himself on the phone with me.

2) Security guard finds an aborted baby in a trash can on the 15th floor of an office building.

3) Woman with psych issues throws her kids in the bay and drowns them because "the voices said so. ."

4) Little girl calls 911 and hangs up, on call back I had a suspicion she was being molested.

5) Woman calls because her boyfriend has stabbed her (6-9 times) [1]And yet she is still worried the police will shoot him. They also use this one for training new cadets

6) Homeless guy pulls a dying man from a burning vehicle

7) The lion that got loose at the zoo and mauled a kid. (Yes that one)

8) The death of an officer in the line of duty. (Sadly, I’ve been present for two of these)

9) An unwitnessed arrest patient that woke up. [2]Statistically very rare

10) The first baby I helped deliver.

#1 Was very personal to me. I was still very new at the time. He was determined to do it and he did. I felt bad but I knew I had done my absolute best and so never lost sleep over it. I still remember the conversation we had. It had a big impact on my decision to share my own near-suicide from my childhood on my blog.

#4 Is probably the only call where I felt like I failed the caller. The police made contact with the father but couldn’t prove anything. I did a lot of extra work, making calls to different agencies, hunting for any source of proof to push it further. Nothing came of it. It still gnaws at me to this day.

#7 Should be self-explanatory if you lived in SF at the time.

#8 Is still very painful to me and I still get very sad over it at times. I also had a co-worker that took her own life (not at work). She was a classmate and a friend. I still do a remembrance for her every year.

#10 Is by far the funniest because the father was constantly one-step away from losing it the whole time. It wasn’t until I tried to give him instructions on how to clip the cord that he really just lost it. "Oh man, you are asking too much!" was his reply! heehee Luckily, the crews arrived just then. I never got to meet the baby but I hope he is healthy and fabulous!

It shouldn’t come as a surprise I’m looking forward to my extended admin assignment. But don’t misunderstand, it isn’t to avoid these types of calls, just the opposite actually. The time away will allow me to renew the compassion and concern that pushed me into this job in the first place. The breadth of my call volume has definitely been building up on me, even I can see it. I find I’m more jaded and irritated at callers these days. I’m quick to frustration over people who abuse the system.

It used to be I’d take a nice vacation away and come back fully refreshed. Lately, it doesn’t seem to help. If anything, the extraordinarily stable home life as of late has been the biggest offset. Having Shawn and Cooper gives me peace and joy. Anyway, I’m hoping the break from day to day the drama will allow me to recover from years of abuse and raw emotion. I don’t want to end up bitter and angry at the public. I don’t want to not care or be indifferent to the suffering of others.

People often tell me, "you knew what you signed up for", or "you get paid a lot of money, so what if it’s hard." And it might be true on both counts to a degree, but I’m still a human being. I didn’t suddenly gain the ability to not be affected by the work I do. I can’t switch on/off my emotions. And I honestly think I’m better suited for this job than others. I rarely take work home with me and I handle stress pretty well. Even the best person wears down over time.

I’ll still work "the floor" from time to time to keep my skills up, but I’ll be out of daily call rotations for 3-5 years. (I can stay a full 5 or come back after 3) My assignment starts the first week in June. I’ll be in the same building just in a different section. Besides, the super early hours, I’m really looking forward to it.

References

References
↑1 And yet she is still worried the police will shoot him. They also use this one for training new cadets
↑2 Statistically very rare

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It is amazing the difference one small act of kindness can make in your day. A point of view of a particular supervisor really made my day today.

I took off the early hours of work for a chiro appt. I found out this morning I wasn’t gonna make it because I got word the doc was out of the office unexpectedly. Change in plans, now I’m gearing up to head in to work for one of the 2 hours I had scheduled to miss. Then I get a call from the doc’s office, he came back earlier than planned and if I arrive soon, he can seem me. Great, but now I’m behind schedule. Said schedule which I allotted 2 hours away from work to avoid getting behind on.

I skip heading back home and straight to work. I arrive to work with a few minutes to spare; however, I’ve not had food or drink yet. Forgetting what a lack of caffeine will do to me, I woof down one of my prepped meals and I’m 2 minutes late to my station. One supervisor walking by commented rather snidely about me missing line-up. [1]If I called in the first 2 hours, yes I’m aware I missed it. No concern for my well-being or how I’m feeling, just the snide comment. I brushed it off w/o saying anything as I was late after all.

Another supervisor who witnessed this comes over and immediately asks not only how am I feeling but is there anything she can do to make my morning a little easier. I was so touched by her point of view and approach that my frustration and anger evaporated. There wasn’t a whole lot she could do but the compassion was an act in itself, and in an instant I was back to normal again. I thanked her profusely and let her know how much such small kind words meant to me.

It’s the little things we do that have a big impact on those around us. I normally consider myself immune to such things as I am pretty self-contained. I rarely need justification or validation for my good/bad behaviors. But while I accepted that I was late thru my own fault, it did not help my mood to have someone comment on it rather snidely. The act of kindness made me forget my woes and put me back in a proper frame of reference.

There is no real point other than the obvious one. I just felt like sharing.

References

References
↑1 If I called in the first 2 hours, yes I’m aware I missed it.