In Passing…

It is with a heavy heart that I announce my friend died today. After almost a month in ICU battling HIV related pneumonia, he succombed to the illness. I’m sure his family can rest easy now knowing their “faggot” of a son is dead. And I hope whatever god they believe in visits the pain of their ignorance on theme twicefold in shame.

I am saddened but I am also happy. Happy that he is free of the pain and anguish. Happy, he’ll never know how his family tried to unplug him and take his belongings before having seen him in the hospital. His parents were family by chance, I was his family by choice. I think I got the better end of the deal. He was a beautiful person inside and out and he will be missed. More importantly, he will be remembered. I do not believe death is the end. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll encounter his soul again someday.

And to anyone who thinks AIDS is just another disease, I am here to tell you how wrong you are. With all our knowledge and all our drugs, HIV is still killing us one by one. It doesn’t care what race, sex, creed or orientation we are. It kills indiscriminately. And as long as we continue to hide behind petty prejudices many more will die. It killed my friend out of ignorance. You see, he didn’t know he was poz. He’d never been tested out of fear and shame. He was taught all his life being gay was shameful and evil. He finally had the courage to come out and live his life openly only to die 6 years later.

I am often ashamed of humanity, today is one of those days.

19 thoughts on “In Passing…”

  1. Moby,
    I’m sorry I’ve never commented on your blog before. Please accept my deepest sympathies for your loss.

  2. Moby…
    Feel for you today. It’s hard losing friends to AIDS. I lost two dear ones back in the early ’90s. I can never understand how an individual can be left alone by family to pass without knowing their love. It’s shameful. At least he had the comfort of you and Glenn.

    How is Glenn doing Moby? Tell him that I, albeit a stranger more than a friend, sends him a hug.

  3. Hi Moby,

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I won’t offer any trite soundbites, because to die in the ICU on a vent is, as you know, a very difficult way to die.

    I think you are right on target with the way you are viewing this. HIV has come a long way in its management and approaches, but the part that gets left out in every discussion is it is still killing people. The fact we don’t like to talk about it, doesn’t change it.

    I wish I could say more, but sadly I’ve been there too, and I know nothing is a comfort right now. If you do need anything, all you need to do is let me know.


  4. Hey handsome,

    I’m really sorry for your loss… it’s not easy to slowly watch someone pass away. But, I too have faith that heaven is such a wonderful and beautiful place that doesn’t discriminate as some religions would have us believe, and I’m sure that your friend is up there being so busy and having so much fun that he couldn’t care less about what negative ideas people had about him… And take heart my friend, you will see him again, I am sure of it 🙂

  5. Hey Moby,
    I’m very sorry to hear about your friend. I know it muct be hitting you pretty hard right now. Although it’s sad that he only had six years to be himself, at least he had those. Some people never get the courage to have one day.

  6. Don’t know you personally, but love you anyway. The world never has enough.
    Peace always!

  7. Moby, I’m glad I was able to give you a hug this weekend. It’s clear from your post that you love your friend very much. I think he would have liked what you wrote.

  8. Moby… I am so sorry that it turned out this way! Damn! I hope you got a chance to talk to the family and perhaps “help” them understand about life and reality and what is really important.

  9. He was very blessed to have a friend like you, and I imagine it was the other way around too. Take care.

  10. My condolences Moby.
    My thoughts are with you
    and your “family” of friends.

  11. Like the others, I can only offer you big hugs of sympathy.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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