Suck, Swallow, & Spit

Ok, get your mind out of my gutter. Actually, the title came to me after a very short terse email from an unknown reader.

Moby, you are a moron and you suck.

I do suck. And I swallow too but that’s another story. Here’s a tip, don’t go away bitter honey, just go away. . .

So after more than one private email asking “what gives?”, I guess I should clear the air. A few of you seem a bit worried about moi. Mind you, I’m completely honored you took the time to check in, rest assured I am ok. Actually, I’m better than ok.

This has been a year of change and growth for me. Way more than I ever expected. Every week I sit down wondering what I’m gonna write about. Then suddenly, the fingers start moving and all this stuff comes flying out. Which is sorta the purpose of the blog in the first place, right? I know I blog about very menial and superficial stuff at times. That’s part of who I am. But lately, a lot of ideals and realizations have been “clicking” into place up in the ole noodle. Actually, I think the spark came from having an image of someone I’d built up in my mind shattered. I’m not exactly sure if that’s irony, karma, or just coincidence. I really couldn’t give a rat’s spit which one it is. I’m noticing old habits don’t seem as ingrained anymore. Certain addictions (no not drugs silly) don’t seem to hold the same appeal either. I grow weary of negative thoughts that often serve to distract me from the truth. I find myself banishing them more and more often. I can literally “feel” myself changing.

As I commented to one very genuine blogger, on the outside I’m the same old me. On the inside however, things are all jumbled up. And as the dust settles, a new better me is emerging. I think the changes are are very subtle in nature but pronounced in their affect. You might say, a “new and improved” me. How’s that for an infomercial?