Confounded & More

Ok, I guess my last post wasn’t very clear.  The general assumption seems to be that I’m referring to potential partners.  I wasn’t.  Or more to the point, potential partners fall under the intended gist but was by no means the focus.  I used TFA as an example only because many here have followed my ups/downs with him. [1]I was happy to be there for TFA when he needed me.  We are still close and talk almost daily.

I was referring to reciprocity in people that come into my life and stay in my life in much more general way.  That applies to friends, family, and lovers equally.  Never fear, I have no plans to stop being who I am.  I just need to re-examine my priorities a bit. Being kind, compassionate, or sympathetic is a tiny fraction of a continuing long term emotional investment in others.  What I am discovering is I need to differentiate and prioritize between random kindness and investing myself in someone who gives nothing in return.  I don’t mean tit for tat, I mean someone who cares and invests themselves in me as well.  That applies to everyone not just potential partners.   

One commenter wrote that "some people are givers and others are takers."  Sorry, but that is a cop out in my opinion.  Continuously being on one side of the spectrum is not healthy.  And it is something I’ve realized for myself that is holding me back.  Ironically, I’m on the giving side.  How’s that for a kick in the pants? lol 


1 I was happy to be there for TFA when he needed me.  We are still close and talk almost daily.

3 thoughts on “Confounded & More”

  1. I applaud you for this insight. It’s not easy to be engaged with with life this way all the time, but it *is* the way to feeling fulfilled.

  2. You are right. “Some people are givers and some are takers” is crap. EVERYONE gives and everyone takes. Most of us do it in relatively equal portion. A few? They take and don’t give much in return. Those folks are users. You may not realize it and even they may not realize it but it is true. You shouldn’t allow anyone to use you… unless that’s your thing. And then I don’t judge. 😉

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