I haven’t talked much about TFA lately. That has been partly on purpose. I needed some time to work thru some things percolating in ma head. I will reveal he has been dating someone new and seems absolutely smitten. Of which, I’m very happy about. I know I know, you are shaking head going “huh”? (I’ll get to that, keep reading) lol The new guy seems to be much more what TFA needs as well as wants in a partner. I’ve always felt TFA and I met for a reason. Whether it was he to learn from me or vice-versa is still up for grabs. I do think at the time we met, TFA needed me but I wasn’t what he wanted. I know for some that won’t make sense but for me it totally does.
I’m sure by now you are gathering from my comments I have indeed let go of the angst I felt regarding TFA. Actually, it was some time ago. It had more to do with my own insecurities really. Seeing that and dealing with it was an important step for me. I still care for him very much but that concern has evolved into an enduring friendship.1
Having let go of my internal issues, I find I am extremely happy with our relationship at present. His new boyfriend knows about me and is completely ok with the connection and friendship we share. After a long talk last night, I think TFA has clearly conveyed to him I am not a threat to their budding romance. Considering he will be here for a long layover the weekend after my upcoming birthday, I felt it was important to make sure our connection would not hinder or interfere with his new love interest.
On a side rant, seeing TFA struggle to overcome his demons these last couple years has served to remind me of my past struggles and has kept me focused on my own life’s path. He often tells me he sees our friendship lasting well into old age. I’m very flattered and heartened by that.
One of my life’s goals has been to know when I die, I’ll do so knowing I leave behind people who will remember and miss me.2 TFA definitely brings me one step closer to that goal.
- well, a friendship with ‘benefits’. heh heh heh
- For you tiny few LONG time readers, this will make total sense to you. The rest of ya…get busy!