I had to call off the 2nd date with the Beefy guy from the gym today.  I wasn’t feeling too hot and didn’t think barfing on him would be attractive. 

It started last night.  My tummy was a little upset and making weird noises, even for me.  This morning I woke up feeling icky as all hell and tried to seduce the pain away by going back to sleep.  Noon roles around and I crawl from the crypt only feeling slightly less icky. 

The day wears on and I make the best of it.  I did make it out for a couple small errands an a Starbucks run.  Late afternoon finds me squatting over the porcelain god blowing chucks for Jesus.  Two hours later my low-grade fever breaks.  An hour after that I feel almost right as rain and hungry!  Fast forward one more hour and you find me inhaling a burrito, a taco, and leftover brussel sprouts. [1]I know, not the best combo

Currently, I’m propped up in bed with the laptop killing off my future children in my loins.  I’m gonna play F.E.A.R. 2 for a while and then call it a day. 


Oh, I think I also offended a friend today.  He asked me a question and I didn’t really censure my response.  He got both barrels of my blunt opinion.  I didn’t mean to come off so crass.  Oh well, I’ll apologize tomorrow. 


1 I know, not the best combo

11 thoughts on “Forlorn”

  1. As yes – the technicolor yawn, driving the porcelain Honda, seeing Jesus in the toilet. Fun times.

    I'm glad you're feeling better – you KNOW we're dying for a dating update!

  2. Chunks for Jesus??? I'm going to pass this along to Pat Robertson or James Dobson or the like. Maybe they can use that in a sermon. Really wishing you a better day than yesterday. As for offending a friend without censuring the response….guilty as charged. Email can be that way.

  3. RG got me to googling: Upchuck or Chuckup,Tossing Your Cookies,Technicolor Yawn, Calling for Ralph,Driving the Porcelain Bus,3-D burping,Belching Chunks,Call of the Walrus,Calling the Buffalos,Delivering Pizza/Pavement Pizza,Doing the dinner catch and release,Downloading a dinner,Gastro Geyser,Jettisoning the chunky cargo,Laughing at the ground/shoes/lawn/dirt/ants/worms/carpet, Liquid scream, Making friends with the ground/lawn/dirt/carpet, Painting the ground/shoes/lawn/dirt/carpet, Reviewing today's menu,Reworking lunch/dinner/the menu/a meal/the stew, Round-trip meal ticket, Sharing his/her inner feelings, Shooting salad, Shouting at the ground/shoes/lawn/dirt/ants/worms/carpet, Slopping or serving up soup, Spraying a jet, Talking/making a call on the porcelain phone, Tapping into something personal, Throwing it into reverse.


    Yodeling in the porcelain canyon.

    You wouldn't have this problem if you would just get an abortion already.

  4. I was going to agree to Blobby, leftover brussel sprouts a burrito and taco? now *that* sounds like a recipe for the 2am Castro cure-all aka the Sunday morning church offering aka blowing chunks.

  5. Laptops make you sterile? Hmmm…the Attorney gave me a laptop for Christmas…does that mean something?

    Hope you get better soon.

  6. I hate calling off dates in the early stages of the relationship, but yesterday the weather was soooo bad in WI that I had to call off a 1st date. I'm glad you feel better.

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