P-you

Why is it my fellow homo’s feel the need to bathe in cologne? I mean, come on!

I ran into a friend in the hood the other day, we exchanged hello’s and a customary hug before going our separate ways. I was immediately bombarded by his overpowering cologne. I was almost nauseous it was so strong, no exaggeration. I got thru it and went on about my day.

An hour later, I’m in Bearbucks getting some much needed caffeine and the guy behind the counter commented on how nice my cologne smelled! Before he said anything, I had just chalked the lingering smell up to my poor nose being overwhelmed. Oh noooo, I got home and took my shirt off and I could smell the shit all over my damn shirt! Now imagine how much he must have had on for it to rub off all over my shirt!

I don’t personally wear cologne very often but I also don’t really mind it, when used properly. I have a strong sense of smell (and as we all know, taste is tied into smell). I also happen to prefer the natural clean scent of human skin over cologne.1 When used properly, cologne can enhance your own natural smell and be alluring.

So here is a clue for all you cologne-lovers out there. Its meant to give a hint of fragrance. It is not meant to overpower someone’s olfactory system completely. Oh and don’t even get me started on guys who bathe/shower, shave, deodorant, and cologne with the exact same fragrance. OMFG!

Let me be the first to be a true friend and tell you you don’t smell pretty at all. You stink! A drop behind each ear and maybe a drop on each wrist is more than enough. If that isn’t enough, your cologne is too cheap and should be avoided all together.2 If all of your hygiene products have the same fragrance, you don’t need any cologne at all. And if you can’t afford the really good stuff just go for the natural clean smell. I guarantee everyone around you will be grateful.

/rant

  1. And no, I don’t like stank either. That is just as gross and not at all healthy. []
  2. The whole line of AXE shite is a prime example of product(s) to be avoided at all costs. []

11 thoughts on “P-you”

  1. I have a real problem with 98% of all colognes and perfumes. They give me an instant headache. So do candle and potpourri stores. And when dudes pour it on… Uggh.

  2. Unfortunately, in my job I end up contaminated with fragrance. Often I'll be told I smell nice, and have no idea what they are talking about until I realize I've picked it up from my job. There are days I'm sure people are overwhelmed by my inadvertant fragrance.

  3. I so agree with you about this. It always makes me want to puke when someone wears too much colognes and perfumes around me.

  4. I don't mind a hint of cologne. But, just a hint – nothing to make my eyes water and/or kill roaches.

    And I'm with you on "stank". There's a BIG difference between man-scent and Stanky Pits. Ewwwwwwww….

    I want to beat to death the makers of Axe and all the rest of body sprays marketing to stupid twenty-something straight boys.

  5. I agree. I've been known to take a shower after a cologne hug. And I've gone into your bathroom to blow out the scented candle. The first (and only) time I went to Yankee Candle Factory it was around Christmas time, so had all those dreadful tacky decorations, I exclaimed, "I've died and gone to hell!"

  6. when i worked on the mainland for a year at a dept. store's corporate headquarters in their men's and women's fragrance branch designing floorplans (you would be amazed at how much bribery goes on to get in "certain" cases within a department), i was constantly gifted with tons of the stuff. it made awesome christmas gifts!

    the husband wears only one thing which i love on him.

    you're going to laugh, but i have always had an affinity for "clubman", that stuff they used to put on your neck after they shaved you or cut your hair (at least at my barbershop). that is my definition of "masculine smell". dunno why.

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