Decade

So I’ve been in SF 10 whole years now. Wow, does the time fly! I mean it seems just like yesterday that I was making the pilgrimage to SF. I can scarcely believe it. I can remember packing up my little U-haul and heading West. It was a sunny (read “hot”) afternoon. I’d just come home from a very nice and somewhat tearful going-away party at my old job. My friend Michael had flown down to help me drive back. I said goodbye to my friend/roommate Trevan and took off for greener pastures never once looking back. I knew instinctively that I’d never be back [to live there].  I can also remember what a mess I was too. You few very long time readers can attest to that. Speaking of, I’m pushing 7 years on this here blog-thing. lol

To say I was a free spirit back then was an understatement! I moved around a lot as young adult. I never seemed to find myself. I honestly think without even realizing it I was looking for a place to call home. I never stayed long in one place and putting down roots was something to be avoided at all costs! I can remember one rather abrupt relationship I had gotten myself into. I woke up one day and thought to myself, ‘what the hell am I doing here?’ Of course, I’d moved for a guy. We met at a club and two weeks later I was moving into his trailer. ^[1]Did I mention I was a mess? lol Six months after that, I realized I wasn’t happy with him, my location, or my dead-end job. Had it not been for the sex I doubt it would have even lasted that long. I promptly up and moved the next day, albeit without his knowledge. The great thing about having no roots is you have very little to worry about when you move. Needless to say, I didn’t always make the best decisions back then either. Years later, I did make amends to the guy. Not that it mattered, he had quickly replaced me with someone younger and ditsier two weeks after I left. Clearly, he wasn’t all that heart-broken. Anyway, I think that was the first time I’d realized that a lot of the drama in my life was self-induced.

I admit my world view back then was somewhat limited. I was very naïve and had no clue for the most part. lol I acted on instinct and desire. But like it or not, Houston did have some roots for me. It was always a safe-haven when my latest attempt to “find myself” fell apart. It wasn’t until I moved to SF that I actually felt like I wouldn’t need it anymore. Don’t get me wrong, there will always be things about Houston, and the South in general, that I miss but SF is home for me now. Who knows if it will stay home but that’s definitely a topic for another day. Of course, we either have till October 2011 or 2012, depending on which nutjub is prophesying our destruction next. Regardless, I’ve been here 10 years and still feel very much at home.

I look at the person I was then and now and I’m amazed in the differences. The blog has helped so much I can’t even count the number of times. That and learning to look outside my little box and be proactive vs reactive. Ironically, I still look to the future with a sense of wonder. I don’t see my life as locked or unchangeable. While I do get a bit bogged down at times, I still see the future as something to look forward to. I think on some level, I used to be afraid if I ever settled down I’d become boring. Luckily, I’ve learned boring and stability do not have to be the same thing!