Category: drama

Fibber

So my email box has absolutely been blown up today asking for my two cents on the newest scandal to rock my little piece of the blogosphere. If you don’t know, skip it. It is not worth your time.1

My answer? I don’t really know enough to make a decision. I don’t blog for popularity. I don’t blog for politics. I don’t make the rules for other bloggers. I don’t know when it is ok to openly attack someone based on limited info they themselves have given me. I don’t know when it is ok to accuse someone of being a total fraud based on inconsistencies in their blog. Frankly, I can’t be bothered right now. I have enough in my own life going on to keep my distracted. I’m sure I’ll sort it out in my own time.

Having already been burned once, I’m probably not the best judge of character anyway. I prefer to take people at face value until given a reason not too. Maybe that makes me gullible but I’m ok with that. Wouldn’t be the first time. For the record, I don’t condone lying. I am honest to the point of being blunt but, I have done things I’m not proud of. I have lied and I have stolen. I have hurt people (emotionally). Granted, the latter wasn’t intentional but it still happened.

I also know how it feels to be called a liar. I’ve been told several times my own blog is just too unbelievable to be real. The irony is I’ve left things out from my childhood because even I have a hard time believing I survived it all. Here is just a short laundry list of my not so favorable moments.

1) I almost poisoned my step-mother when I was 12 as a means to escape her never-ending torture.
2) My father broke my jaw and two of my ribs at 14 because I was gay.
3) I watched my first lover die in my arms.
4) I almost killed myself at 19.
5) I was homeless for almost a 2 years.

And those are just the things I chose to share! Maybe they were justifiable, maybe they weren’t. Either way, I’m not particularly fond of my sordid past. I do struggle to be a better man though. Sometimes, I think that means I have to fall along the way.

The point, I’m probably not so eloquently making, is I tend to wait before I jump on the bandwagon of finger-pointing. I don’t second guess people. I don’t look for cracks in their stories. It is simply not in my nature to be overly suspicious. That said, I also take what I read online w/a grain of salt until I’ve had a chance to solidify my in person connection w/people.

Back to the most recent scandal, I am a little dismayed in the overall virulence I’ve read. As if discovering a fake blogger is so shocking. Fags can’t even tell their correct waist and cock size but we are outraged at a dishonest blogger(s)? Ultimately, I’ll investigate and ask myself if this scandal causes harm. Until then, I’ll skip the righteous indignation.

My maw-maw (granny) always said, “…believe none of what you hear, and half of what you see.” She might have been crazy white trash but, boy did she have some wisdom. I haven’t always believed that but, the older I get the more often I find it to be true.

1 No, I’m not providing links as this about my two cents in general, not the story itself.

Gentle Reminder

I just had to ban the 3rd person ever from my blog today. Only after a very snotty email mind you. I don’t have time for such antics.

I certainly don’t begrudge anyone the right to make money however, don’t do it at the expense of my bandwidth. Or, at least have the common sense to ask me beforehand.

If you link to your own personal profile and/or blog, I’m happy to have your link. However, if you link to the main page of a commercial site in a vain attempt to drive up your site traffic, I will ban you and your IP from my blog permanently.

I doubt I get that much site traffic to really make a difference however, I consider it very rude to do so.

Now you know. *g*

Integri-damn

If I wasn’t so pumped up on endorphins from my workout today, I think I might be depressed. I was all ready to post about my dance card being full lately when things took an abrupt change.

Let’s see, my play buddy scheduled for today canceled this morning. Talk about leave me high and dry. We play often so no worries, he is good for another round. I’m just so uh, “frisky” right now. hehehe

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the flight attendant called to say he was feeling a bit guilty about our growing connection. Yeah, I’m disappointed but I don’t really see it as a bad thing. I could hear the guilt in his voice. Guilt means he has feelings for the other guy. My integrity as well as my karma was tested and I did the right thing. I think I could have easily pushed him to keep seeing me. But, is that how I want to start dating someone? In a word, no. I did tell him to call if he needed to talk or if and when he decides things aren’t working out with th other guy. Sure, some might see it as giving up but I don’t. I’d never be ok w/knowing I ruined someone else budding relationship for my own.

But wait, there is more! I had the oddest date w/a guy I met on manhunt. He came on pretty strong online and wanted to meet. He is a big burley biker dude. Two full sleeve arm tattoos as well as a big chunk of his torso. Anyway, we agreed to meet yesterday and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone more intense than myself. He was nice an all but damn was he a rollercoaster of emotions. He went on and on about his past and his ex. I got a secret chuckle out of that as I’ve been known to do the exact same thing. I think he really just wants a husband he can relate too however, I got so many conflicting signals from him I gave up trying to figure him out. He had to suddenly leave early because of a friend who “broke down” on his motorcycle. Whether that really happened or he just wanted out of the date is irrelevant. I was a little disappointed I didn’t get to roll around naked w/him though. He was a genuine hyper-masculine dude and it is rare to find one of those. He was supposed to call today. He hasn’t so I guess I have my answer. Really, I’m more perplexed than anything else. It ranks up there as the oddest date on record for me.

Ok, enough of that. I’m off to see the new Simpson’s movie. Doh!

Techno Drama

So I get home last night and my cable card isn’t decoding the signal for the TV. The cable box was working fine. Thank the stars as poor Tivo might have had a fit otherwise. The card still isn’t fixed today. Comcrack is supposed to be out later to repair it (read here: snoop to see if I’m hacking the signal). I found out quite a few folks here lost their signal due to an “uprade” in software. Now, you know I’d rather walk on lips than talk about someone but, I heard a dirty rumor they are actually using it to see how many folks are trying to pirate cable thru hacked cards. Of course, there is never any truth to big business spying on consumers so I don’t believe a word of it. Tsk, tsk.

The real drama was yet to come. I get up this morning I groggily make my way to the sofa to fire up the laptop1 only to be shocked completely awake by a clicking noise and a dark laptop screen. Here is a sample of what went thru my mind…
Continue reading Techno Drama

Pissy Missy II

Continuing in my week of sermons and “told ya so’s”. I guess I pissed more than a few people1 off yesterday with my rant about the late (not so great) Jerry Falwell. Not only did I rant here but, I also chimed in all over the blogosphere regarding his welcome demise. I also got about 20 emails from my comments on Joe.my.god’s blog2.

Let me attempt to set the record straight for all the would-be Moby converts. (yeah right)

  • 1. I am not a christian so I’m not a hypocrite.
  • 2. Nor do I believe in your made up superstitious tourist attraction aka hell so save your well wishes on my not-so-safe journey there.
  • 3. I never said I hated him, I’m just glad he is dead. I celebrate his death just as I would Hitlers if I’d been alive at the time.
  • 4. If karms exists, he’ll come back as a poverty stricken black woman struggling to just get ahead in life or even better, a muslim woman in the middle east. Then he’ll get a taste first hand what it means to be a minority or considered property vs. human.
  • 5. I don’t know his family nor do they read my blog. But, did they worry about my feelings when JF blamed every natural disaster in the last 10 years on my people? Nope.
  • 6. Where were your cries of rage when Mathew Shepard was murdered? How bout Qwen? Or, how about the black guy who was dragged to his death behind a pick up truck until his head popped off? Where were you and your beloved JF then? You were standing in judgment. Well the shoe is on the other foot now. I ask you, who is really the hypocrite here?

No, you will find no sympathy here. My sympathy has been all used up on the thousands of gays/lesbians/minorities across the country JF condemned to 2nd class citizenship in his never-ending crusade of intolerance. The bible says “an eye for an eye” after all.3 No, you will only find relief here at the Moby Files. Another wicket and viscious tyrant is dead and the world heaves a collective sigh of joy.

1 Bless their hearts and God bless my spam karma plugin for catching every single one of their love messages. lol
2 His post regarding JF made it on a rather nasty “christian” website of which, I will not link too here.
3 See, I can misquote it too.

Fibber

I found out one of my readers has been lying to me about who he is. He came clean recently in a very dramatic email. I wasn’t overly shocked as I’m not so foolish as to think everyone who reads/comments here is 100% honest. However, I guess it was bothering him hence, the email. He explained he enjoyed my blog because I was always so honest and blunt.1 Turns out, he has only recently come out and not thinking very high of himself concocted a rather illusionary image of himself for the world. Again, a no-brainer. We have so few positive role models as gay men I’m not really surprised. Anyway, he went on to state my blog was the reason he fessed up.

I’m flattered my blog had such an affect however, I think it has more to do with his own conscience than the ole blog. Lord knows, I have enough of my own issues. But, having learned a few things over the years, I gave him the same advice I’ll give anyone who asks (and even a few who don’t). Be honest, be yourself. One of my favorite quotes referenced here is “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.” Being true to yourself might mean less friends or even less interest. However, the interest and friends you do get will be legit.2

On a side rant, they say reality is 9/10’s perception. I am a firm believer in that. We spend so much time imagining the world around us and all the bad things that could happen it becomes real. We let fear and anger wrap us in a cocoon of self-doubt and worry. We act on these destructive traits by projecting it onto others w/o ever taking the time to discover the reality. I still battle with this one and it isn’t easy.3 I will add, it does get easier. Admitting it to yourself is the first step. As for my reader, well I can only hope he takes my advice to heart and is better for it.

Gosh! Who knew I was so good at psycho-analysis? Our time is up and that’ll be $300.00 please.

1 Duh.
2 90% of the fags on Manhunt should take that to heart.
3 I know, what a shocker right?

Super Who?

Time to hear me get ‘bitchy’.

I couldn’t be bothered to care who is playing in the superbowl or that it even occurred. If everyone at work wasn’t in such a dither I would have missed it all together. Every damn TV in the place had to be on “the game”. I absolutely detest football1. There! I said it. I’m a football-hating mother fucker. I know many of my fellow bloggers like, even love, the accursed game. Well, good for you.

It isn’t the game itself I detest but the backward mentality associated with it in this country. I’m sure if I’d grown up straight it wouldn’t have been a problem but I didn’t. And growing up in rural East Texas I got a double dose of torment. In my hometown, football was considered not only a right of passage to manhood but a weekly judgement of your emergent masculinity. Not being into football immediately earned me the various titles “fag, sissy, geek, pussy, or all of the above” on a routine basis. It didn’t matter that I excelled in track.2 Nor did my father do anything to help the situation by being an avid football lover. Well, that and he couldn’t help but remark on a regular basis about certain less popular players being queer and a detriment to the game.

So no, I don’t like football. You can keep your stick-up-your-ass game and all the juvenile behavior that come with it. I’ll stick to hockey.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program…

1 You’d think with all the hugging and those tight tights I’d be in heaven. You’d be wrong.
2 I could run a mile in just over 5 minutes. Not the best but pretty damn good.

Drama 103

Like a fool, I let a friend who I know is high-drama drag it into my home this past weekend. I thought I was doing him a favor in letting him hang out with me. Maybe give him a chance to bond and vent a little. Oh, it started out good. He comes over and we stay up laughing and playing Xbox till the wee hours of the morning. I thought it a good way to get his mind off the situation. However, it went downhill from there. Without all the gory details, in the space of 12 hours he managed to not only disrespect me but my roommate, my neighbors, and my landlord.

I like to think I am pretty easy going. That said, I’ve learned sometimes people can use your good will against you. I knew he was a drama addict. Why? Because I’ve been there; a life full of drama but lacking in responsibilty. I admit, it is a bit odd seeing a straight counterpart in the same place I was 10-15 years ago. Oh, the faces and names are different but the scenarios are the same. I was lucky enough to find my way and grow out of it. I’m beginning to wonder if my friend ever will. He goes from one self-induced dramatic episode to the next.

I’m not the only one who is growing tired of his BS either. Several of my co-workers are a bit fed up as well. He has systematically used up most of the good will afforded him. If he isn’t careful he may not have any friends left soon. For my part, I’ve ended more meaningful friendships for similar problems so I’m not about to change now. And while this current episode doesn’t reach that level just yet, I’ll think twice before I invite him over again.

Techno Hell

*Full geek post ahead. You have been warned.*

You’d think being the tech geek I am, I’d have absolutely no problem setting up all the new devices w/the new HDTV. You’d be wrong. My woes started when the Tivo wasn’t getting audio from the new HD cable box. I checked, rechecked, and checked my wires yet again BEFORE calling tech. support.1.

I was at work so I just ran thru the checklist of things w/the Tivo guy and asked if he’d encountered similar problems w/other subscribers. To his credit, he did know and recommended a fix. However, after getting home and trying it, no luck. I was fast becoming agitated.

Fast forward to today.

This time I called Comcast. While I’ve had very little trouble w/them over the years, I know better than to remotely hope for a knowledgable rep. My lack of faith was justified right up until the very end of the conversation. She let it slip that the HD cable box doesn’t do more than one output source at a time. Exsqueeze me? Why the hell do you offer multiple out ports then? Needless to say, she was less than amused w/my 10 minute BF2.

Not willing to admit defeat just yet, I treked off to Radioshack for some help . . . a wasted trip.
Continue reading Techno Hell