Tag: birthday boy

55

Here I am at 55 years. Who da thunk it? 55?!  There are days where I feel old and then there are days when I completely feel disconnected from my age. How’s that for a kick in the pants?

Thanks to all of those who reached out via various methods to  wish me a happy birthday. I appreciate the well-wishes.

Mentally, I have probably never felt my age. I always seem to be about 10 years behind. Lol Ironically, the hubby is 10 years my junior. I’ve often wondered if our connection is part of my “young” feeling. I grew up very isolated from the outside world so I’ve always felt behind in the growth dept. Ironically, having dealt with a lot of my personal demons, there are plenty of times where I feel like the only adult in the room. It’s a weird juxtaposition. Physically, I feel my age. I’ve had multiple age related issues in the last 5 or so years. The eye, the nose, the back, the prostrate, etc. The back being the most invasive so far. I’m headed back or a 2nd nerve ablation on the muscles in my back in early February. I hate it because it makes me feel old and I don’t like that.

Anyway, my 55th year has arrived. The hubby made it special, as always. He knew exactly what to get me. It helps that I blab a lot about my own procrastinations. We had a nice relaxing day. We did a mani/pedi, dinner, and then my gifts. If you come here often, you’ll know I’m not big on birthdays. It was just never overly important in my family. The hubby always does something nice for me and appreciate him. As someone who tends to be a caregiver by nature, it’s nice to feel cared for at times.

Of course, as I age in the gay world, I do notice my age more often. Being 55 in gay years is practically ancient. Lol Joking aside, it is an issue. Ageism is a big issue for our community. Many older gay men feel invisible or ignored. While I personally don’t mind aging, it does sting at times when I get shunned or ignored simply due to age. I could try to “relive” my childhood like so many but that is exhausting and expensive. Frankly, I’m too lazy for that. Hehehe  I may encounter the occasional sting of ageism but I’m also adult enough to know I can’t remain in the young and pretty category forever. Age comes to us all. I can accept it, with its limitations, or I can be bitter. The latter again takes too much effort. Lol

I’m grateful for the health I do have. I hope to find some relief of the back issues come February. Regardless, I have another year under my belt. I never actually thought I’d even see 50, so I’m glad for another year above groune. Hehehe

Hope springs eternal…

52

I turned 52 this past month. As I start into my 53rd year on this ole planet, I am grateful to be alive. My previous back issues got me a little down for a while but I’m better now and realizing it’s not that bad, all things considered. Personally, I think I look damn good for 52, but I am a little biased. 😉 My medical issues as of late have all been mild compared to other more serious ailments that plague us as we age. I have to remember that moving forward.

Part of me still grapples with the idea of being in my 50’s. My brain simply won’t completely accept it. I guess that is a good thing. In stark contrast, this past year I’ve been noticing when people “die young“, which in my brain translates to around my age or younger. It is a bit of a surreal feeling to realize I’m moving into an age bracket where people can and do die from a host of issues regularly. Granted, some of these conditions can often be prevented and treated, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful. I’m certainly not judging others. It just makes me value my efforts to keep myself healthy. Of course, my body reminds me daily now I am indeed not a young man anymore.

And speaking of healthy, I’m hoping to get thru 2023 with no self-inflicted gym injuries. hehehe Another hard realization is I can’t constantly push heavy weights anymore. As I focus on strengthening my back muscles, I’m building on my past mistakes. Rebuilding my exercises from an entirely new perspective has had its benefits. Even with the back injury, I’ve made some solid gains this year, and my bony legs have grown some too.

If ya know me, you know I don’t make a big deal over birthdays. Shawn always tries to make them meaningful for me, which I appreciate. He always a way add a personal touch. This year was no exception. I couldn’t imagine him not being in my life.

Beyond that, work has been incredibly stressful and frustrating. Ironically, not for the reason you’d think. More on that later. I have a meeting with the Council of Elder Gays on what the new prize the most gay conversions in a year. 😉

Birth’ed

Well, it’s official boys and gurls. Yours truly is 41 years old. [1]Or, 39.95 + tax   Strange, as I don’t feel 41. Well, that’s half true. Age and wisdom has certainly given me some perspective. Not to mention, the grey is slowly creeping its way down my body. lol That said, I still don’t feel it. It’s hard to explain. I guess you can say I’ve held only my youthful outlook on things.

I don’t make a big fuss over my birthdays. I guess when I get to an age that is uncommon then I can make a bit to-do over it. Until then, I try to spend quality time with friends. This weekend I’m catching the new Underworld with a group and then Boys for Balls (charity bowling event). It promises to be a fun weekend.

I’m still very optimistic about the future and look forward to life. That is a good thing IMHO.

References

References
↑1 Or, 39.95 + tax