I turned 52 this past month. As I start into my 53rd year on this ole planet, I am grateful to be alive. My previous back issues got me a little down for a while but I’m better now and realizing it’s not that bad, all things considered. Personally, I think I look damn good for 52, but I am a little biased. 😉 My medical issues as of late have all been mild compared to other more serious ailments that plague us as we age. I have to remember that moving forward.
Part of me still grapples with the idea of being in my 50’s. My brain simply won’t completely accept it. I guess that is a good thing. In stark contrast, this past year I’ve been noticing when people “die young“, which in my brain translates to around my age or younger. It is a bit of a surreal feeling to realize I’m moving into an age bracket where people can and do die from a host of issues regularly. Granted, some of these conditions can often be prevented and treated, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful. I’m certainly not judging others. It just makes me value my efforts to keep myself healthy. Of course, my body reminds me daily now I am indeed not a young man anymore.
And speaking of healthy, I’m hoping to get thru 2023 with no self-inflicted gym injuries. hehehe Another hard realization is I can’t constantly push heavy weights anymore. As I focus on strengthening my back muscles, I’m building on my past mistakes. Rebuilding my exercises from an entirely new perspective has had its benefits. Even with the back injury, I’ve made some solid gains this year, and my bony legs have grown some too.
If ya know me, you know I don’t make a big deal over birthdays. Shawn always tries to make them meaningful for me, which I appreciate. He always a way add a personal touch. This year was no exception. I couldn’t imagine him not being in my life.
Beyond that, work has been incredibly stressful and frustrating. Ironically, not for the reason you’d think. More on that later. I have a meeting with the Council of Elder Gays on what the new prize the most gay conversions in a year. 😉
I’m back and my back is doing better! I left off quite some time ago after having some back issues. Well, I ended up doing PT on my own because the places available didn’t work with my schedule and I can’t afford to call off work every time I need PT. Two different friends in the biz told me they don’t work you in the office anyway. They give you the exercises and send you on your way. They do help if you are unclear on how to do an exercise, otherwise that’s it for my type of PT I figured I could do that on my own.
I was discouraged at first because it only seemed to be staving off any new spasms vs actually improving my condition. I was getting frustrated thinking maybe I’m doing it wrong, not doing enough, etc. I do so some research famous last words and discover it can take weeks and/or months to heal up so this gives me hope I’m on the right track.
Well, fast forward to now. A couple weeks ago was my first time doing the PT w/zero discomfort! I’ve been getting delayed due to lots of /mando at work over holidays, but still focused on getting gym time in for my exercises and stretches. Lo and behold last week I did my first exercises on lower back with weights! And I’m still walking upright! lol I was only doing a measly 40 lbs on deadlifts but it felt great to finally be doing any weights at all. Yay me!
The whole thing kind of threw me for a loop. I’ve always considered myself rather resilient when it comes to bouncing back from injuries. Every surgery I’ve ever had the doctors always talked about how fast I heal. Even my most recent nasal surgery was a flying success. This time around I didn’t bounce back. And it finally became obvious to me it wasn’t getting better; my denial was making it worse. While not "depressed", I also realized it was altering my daily motivation to do much of anything. I mean I’d still get to the gym, but I had to drastically pare down even non related exercises.
This is the part of getting old I don’t like. I don’t mind the wrinkles, the aging skin/looks. Hell, I don’t mind the need for more checkups, but this not healing or getting better like normal is for the birds!
So…following up on my last post, cause you’re all just dying to know my up to the minute medical condition, right? They discovered I will need a full amputation from the waist up. j/k of course. giggle Almost had ya there…
The doc thinks it’s mostly a muscular issue. There may be some ligament damage involved but they wouldn’t know without an MRI. They did not recommend an MRI as it doesn’t seem severe enough. I do have mild to moderate arthritis, which is probably aggravating it a bit as well. Why do I always seem to be in the middle? …mild to moderate Monkeypox, mild to moderate arthritis, medium to large penisthe first footnote was to see if people actually read the footnotes. heehee Overall, he definitely does not think I have a bulging disc. X-rays looked fine, no fractures or protrusions of bone anywhere. Ironic, as I had a mild spasm during x-rays because the tech was having me bend at weird angles. So, good news I guess. I mean it could be better but could have been a lot worse. I’m grateful to know the bones are all up to scratch. I expected worse news.
He gave me a referral to Physical Therapy and a prescription for muscle relaxers. I’ve never taken muscle relaxers and I’m hesitant to take them. (See afore mentioned posts about my stepmother who was a pill addict for many years, including the use of muscle relaxers) However, after my last round of pain I won’t avoid them if I have another episode. Lawd, that was rough. It’s been over two weeks, and while most of my movement has returned, I’m still having discomfort and soreness. I’m having to alter workouts at the gym to avoid taxing the area.
I’m eager to see how PT turns out. I’d very much like it to be something I can work thru and get past vs "just living with it". With GHHD #3 (Folsom weekend) fast approaching, Daddy needs his bending muscles to be in tact.