Yet another example social media doesn’t really help us as a society… You’d think we would be past this now, but oh no, social media has only exacerbated it IMO.
I’m surfing the Tok the other day and I stubmle across a post from a guy I follow who goes on this long diatribe wishing he could leave the gay community because of the “scene”. I delve a litte further and he is really just ranting about his hatred for open relationships (OLTR). I’m quite sure it was posted during Pride month to sell a narrative. He goes on to spell out all the woes of OLTR’s on gay culture. The real kicker was his attempt to blame said LTRs for his own single status. [1]Me thinks the lady doth protest too much! Don’t even get me started on the comments. Btw, I will not link to him as people lately seem to have this incessant need to go harass someone who doesn’t agree with them on a given topic. I don’t do that, instead I come here and bitch about it in my own space. He also blocked me because I made a simple comment disagreeing… *Putting on shocked face* Gasp!
I’m not here to sell the advantanges of being open or closed. For myself, your opinion doesn’t affect me. I don’t need anyone else’s belief or support to live my life the way I choose. I’m 13 years in, legally married, and very much love my husband. We are open because it works for us. Anyone eles’s commentary on the legitimacy of my relationship is just that..theirs. :-; That said, spending your time constantly judging others must get exhausting.
No one is responsible for your happiness except you. Full stop. Trying to blame guys looking for OLTRs, or more astutely blaming guys in OLTRs for being online “looking” is a just projection. But let us pretend for a moment this is a legit argument. Would you rather a guy pretend he wants monogamy, get into an LTR and then just lies and cheats, sometimes repeatedly? Or would you rather a smaller pool of available men who seek that particular trait in others? I personally prefer honesty.
If monogamy is the ultimate deal-breaker for you that is perfectly fine, but blaming others is just a deflection. If it’s truly the be all end all, then it shouldn’t sting when you find that great guy but he doesn’t want monogamy. Instead, look at it knowing you dodged a bullet. He was never going to be the right one, no matter all his other charatersitics. Accepting that also means accepting it may be very well be a deal-breaker for others on the other side of the argument. No amount of blame will ever change that.
As I’m fond of saying more recently, ‘we get one spin on this rock, build a life and relationships based on what makes you happy.’
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| ↑1 | Me thinks the lady doth protest too much! |
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