Itty Bitty Details

Forgetting the depressing stuff for a moment, I’ve noticed I have this horrible habit of giving out extraneous details during conversation. For example, I’m having lunch today w/some friends in the Castro and I needed to go to the restroom to wash my hands. Instead of just saying “pardon me for a moment“, I had to give out all the details. “Excuse me, I need to run to use the bathroom and wash my hands.” Like they really cared WHY I was going. And not an hour later I did it again. We were walking by Walgreens and I’m like “I need to run into Walgreens real quick as I need to pick up some face cream and finger nail clippers”. I’m sure they could care less exactly what I needed. I can’t help but giggle here.

While I don’t necessarily consider this a character flaw per say, it can be annoying habit. I think part of it stems from the fact I am unconsciously a very open person. Unlike a lot of people, I don’t automatically erect personal barriers when around other people whether it be friend or stranger. I only do so when given a reason. Most people pick up on this and respond in one of two ways. They either tend to open up a bit more on their own or completely shut down.

Going psychotherapist for a moment, I’m sure it has something to do w/my childhood traumas. Well cancel the page for Dr. Phil, I think I figured that one out all by myself. Maybe the traumas added to my already open id, who knows. As far back as I can remember, I’ve had the same openness to me. Even as a child. (Thankfully, no one bad was around to take advantage of it) As an adult, it taught me some painful lessons about trusting too soon and being gullible. Lessons that probably would have been avoided had I been just a tad bit more cautious. Tell my friend Eric this story, he agrees all too readily it’s a character flaw. I choose not to see it that way. I think my openness adds to my overall appeal and value it. For all the times its hurt me, it has helped me four or five times that much in good things.