Fine

I’ve been so serious here as of late so I thought I’d share something funny that happened to me this past week.

An attorney calls up one day a couple weeks ago about a records request we had produced for him. One of the discs had some erroneous data on it. No biggie, while rare it does happen, we made a mistake. We promptly sent him a new copy.

Fast forward to this past week. The guy calls back and this time one of the discs is blank, or so he says. I’m a bit less cordial (without being rude) this time as I begin to suspect he is playing us. It isn’t unheard of for an attorney to try and get one over on our office for a variety of reasons. Being devious, I offer him the option to swing by and drop off the disc so I can give him the new one vs making him wait while we mail him yet another disc. Now our lobby is currently closed to the public due the pandemic, but with the lower cases lately we have some discretion. And in my head I’m thinking I’m going to catch him in a big lie. Well, the joke ended up being on me.

He swings by and I get a call from the Sheriff desk he is here. I put on my best bitchy “I caught you in a lie” face and head down. And then it all just falls apart. I first had to pick my jaw up off the floor as the MF’r was FINE as hell!  I mean, “drop an egg and it roll down my pants” fine! I mean slap yo momma fine! He was stunning! Imagine Tom Ellis from the show Lucifer, but a bit shorter, dark blond hair, piercing green eyes, a slightly stronger jaw line covered in stubble and slightly more bulging muscles. He is wearing a well fitted shirt/tie with slacks. I actually caught my breath because I was so utterly shocked. If I had pearls I definitely would have clutched them in that moment. hehehe It was made worse by his completely calm and friendly demeanor, no gaydar pings unfortunately. He was nice and had these big paw like hands on him as he reached to shake my hand. (We aren’t supposed to shake hands but lawd baby jeebus I’ve had my shots and I couldn’t help myself.) I tend to have a firm handshake and guys will often comment on it. He did comment and I melted like butter inside. You could have scraped me off the floor.

And sure enough the disc was blank. So then I felt about two feet tall for thinking the worst and was falling all over myself to apologize, all the while taking in the breath-taking display that is this M-A-N! It is made worse because I think I actually felt myself blushing, which is just not something I do. As I repeatedly try to untie my tongue, I hand off the disc and he has an ever so slight humorous smirk on his face. Of course, I turn away quickly so he cannot see my full on blushing! I pretend I’m coughing so I can recover myself. Once I feel I’m at least not bright red, I turn to thank him one last time as he saunters away with his damn near perfect butt bouncing in those slacks.

I go back upstairs to collect myself and I’m quite sure the cleaning crew had to be called to clean up the slime trail I’m sure I had left in my wake. lolol I don’t know if it was the isolation, the testosterone boost from being back in the gym, my naturel gregarious nature, or all of the above, but I was flustered for a good 15 minutes after it was over. I’m sure he delights in knowing he has that affect on women and men as his smirk looked positive and had that knowing realization with it. Hell, it’s been days since it happened and I think I still might need a moist towelette after I finish this post.1

Of course, I had to call my husband and laugh with him and then blow up my coworkers texts on her day off to thank her for the blank disc she sent him. I was so tickled and it was a definite mood booster for the rest of the day.

Even an old dog like me can get flustered at times. Now you know…

  1. TFA if you are reading this post, remember the first time we met? Yeah, I would have begged him too! []

50

Well, the terrible day has arrived. I’m 50! (Yes, I’m totes joking)

As I’m fond of saying, I’ve reached ancient in gay-years. I’m an elder now. It is time for to don my robe, take up my staff, and take a seat on the #alphabetmafia council. (If you are on TikTok, you know where that phrase came from. I love it!) I mean those free toasters aren’t always enough to swell our ranks, am I right? Apparently, I’m supposed to have lost interest in a whole host of activities I’m still participating in.1 day. I’m hoping the Biden/Harris inauguration goes off without too much drama.

I joke but I know a lot of gay men struggle with aging. Our community isn’t always the kindest to older gays. I’ve never minded my age or aging. And considering for a few reasons, I never thought I’d even reach 50, I’m perfectly fine with it. Sure, there are times I might feel the sting of being less attractive or less appealing as years past, but those things are superficial. I try to take it in stride. My life was a tragic rollercoaster ride before I made it to 25, so 50 has been an easy target.

I can actually remember one time when I was still new to blogging wondering what I would be doing if I made it to 50. In my mind it was a far off place full of disbelief and what-ifs. lolol  Well, here I am. I like to think I’m a better man than I was back then. I certainly struggled along the way. I am a little proud that I am still blogging, albeit nowhere near as often. I took to blogging like it was made for me back then. This blog has been a priceless tool in my journey of self-discovery. I credit so much of my emotional growth to this medium.

As I hit the half centennial mark, I do realize the scope of my age and the breadth of changes in me, my life, and the world around me. I mean, I am old enough to remember Pong after all. There was not internet when I was a kid. There was no cell/smart phones, WIFI, Bluetooth, or social media. Hell, even 911 didn’t exist until I was in high school. Cars didn’t have seatbelts, gasoline was less than a dollar per gallon, TV’s had less than 10 channels with no remote control. Cassette tapes were the size of a small tablet and restaurants still had “smoking or non” in one room. The world has jumped far ahead in technology. Sadly, I’ve witnessed many of the very tools meant to unite us only serve to divide us further.

I’m not feeble just yet but I can’t push myself like I used to when I was a wee lad. That would probably be my only regret at this point. I’m still pretty fit, covid-19 times considered, but the body isn’t as resilient. I’m eagerly headed back to the gym (outdoors) this coming weekend. I had several minor injuries in 2019 that plagued me throughout the whole year. It made me realize I’m not as spry and flexible as I used to be. That said, I look forward to more years in the gym.

I have never been huge on birthdays so not much is planned. I have to work for one. With the covid-19 restrictions still very much in effect, I’ll probably end up doing what I usually do. Sit my wide ass on the couch, cuddle with Daisy2, and play video games. I know I know, I’m not supposed to like video games at my age. Pissh! Tosh! I do what makes brings me joy, naysayers notwithstanding.

I look forward to my years ahead, however many that might be. And as always, hope springs eternal…

 

  1. Maybe now that I am on the council of elders, I’ll be able to get my memos more regularly.) )

    To be honest, I don’t feel 50. Well, parts of me feel 50 but overall, I don’t feel it. My face might look it, but I don’t feel it. And 50 appears to be the new 40 in many of my circles so I guess I don’t have to go into seclusion just yet. Of course, today is also inauguration ((corrected – thanks Kevin! []

  2. and Toby []

For Real

You know it is getting real over COVID-19 fears when Amazon Prime deliveries for same and next day delivery only show available 3 and 4 days later! lol

People are seriously freaking out. I always get a sick tickle over stuff like this because we think we are so civilized as a society. You throw in an unknown and people lose their minds. Don’t get me wrong, you should be concerned and take some precautions, like washing yo damn hands with soap and water often. Don’t run buy a bunch of masks that offer almost no protection.

My work is in hyper drive over it to say the least. The emergency response center is already activated even though we don’t yet have a single documented case in the city. But hey, better safe than sorry, right? *shrug*

I wish people put this much worry in preventing the spread of the flu every year. You know that virus that kills tens of thousands every year since 2010. People barely make an effort to get a vaccine readily available every year but OMG COVID is coming for us all!

Don’t even get me started on the conspiracy theories floating around already. Imma need a drink before I can even attempt to tackle that one.1

  1. A recent survey last week showed roughly 30% of people questioned thought there was a link to the Corona brand beer! []

Chewer

So Daisy is a chewer. When she gets a little worked up, she will chew on practically anything that happens to cross in her path. This by itself wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t actually eat half the shit she chews on.

So far she has destroyed (and eaten part of) a combat boot, a cabinet leg, several shoes, a luggage strap, a couch throw pillow, a Velcro wrapping strap, and who knows what else. The unfortunate downside of said adventures is when she tries to poop all this mess out. Twice now she’s had ‘issues’ with pooping. Lawd, give me ‘strungth’. heehee1

Cooper was never much of a chewer and when he did, he knew what to chew on. He just got it right away. Daisy is a bit less focused so far. She’s still young so I’m sure she’ll grow out of it to a degree. However, most dogs that love to chew, do so well into old age. I hope the apt survives! haha She is just an angel otherwise; so sweet, gentle and just loves cuddles and rubs.

She has adjusted to living with us and is fully bonded. She feels safe when we aren’t there and rarely barks. She roams the block and neighborhood with me like a pro. She has developed a habit of sleeping next to me on the couch. She will drape one leg over mine and lay down to sleep. If she is next to me, her leg is over mine, no exceptions. It is totes adorable. She loves my roommate’s Frenchie, Toby. They get along too well at times. They love to play tug of war with toys and constantly like to play and wrestle. The noise can be a bit much when they get really worked up.

Beyond the chewing, she is very skittish. Bullies can be skittish, especially as pups. However, they tend to grow out of it. I’m not so sure Daisy will. She gets freaked out by strange sounds very easily. Even plastic grocery bags freaked her out at first. (Ironically, Fleet Week didn’t phase her one bit!) Anything close to her that makes a strange sound will set her off. My neighbor put out a skeleton dog as a Halloween decoration and she would not walk past it for a good 5 minutes. She finally figured out it wasn’t alive or going to hurt her. Even though, she still routinely sniffs it to make sure it’s not a threat. lol Some of that will change as she ages but I foresee her being skittish for years to come.

But, all problems aside I love her dearly. She is a sweet girl and just can’t help but love her. She has become part of the family.

  1. Thankfully, we invested it pet insurance for her. []

Sharing is Caring

A friend of a friend of a friend (you get the point here) recently sent me a DM on Facebook asking why I never share any of his posts he tags me in.

Me: Because I do not like sharing all that stuff. I do not enjoy it. I’d prefer you not tag me on them.

Him: But what happens when it is something serious?

Me: Something serious as in? Microsoft and Yahoo are merging and if you forward this to to 10 people you’ll get a lot of money? Or, “people” are cloning your entire profile? Or, [insert generic meme about your porn name vs your spirit animal]? Or, discover these 10 things that will kill you, click here? ((He has sent me every single one of these examples)) I do not care for these things. I definitely do not want them cluttering up my profile.

I do not care for these things. I definitely do not want them cluttering up my profile.

Him: You seem rude. Maybe you are not a nice person? Did you ever think of that?

Me: Yes, but I didn’t share it as a meme or spam everyone on my friends list.

He blocked me. Go figure.

Sharing is Caring

A friend of a friend of a friend (you get the point here) recently sent me a DM on Facebook asking why I never share any of his posts he tags me in.

Me: Because I do not like sharing all that stuff. I do not enjoy it. I’d prefer you not tag me on them.

Him: But what happens when it is something serious?

Me: Something serious as in? Microsoft and Yahoo are merging and if you forward this to to 10 people you’ll get a lot of money? Or, “people” are cloning your entire profile? Or, [insert generic meme about your porn name vs your spirit animal]? Or, discover these 10 things that will kill you, click here? ((He has sent me every single one of these examples)) I do not care for these things. I definitely do not want them cluttering up my profile.

I do not care for these things. I definitely do not want them cluttering up my profile.

Him: You seem rude. Maybe you are not a nice person? Did you ever think of that?

Me: Yes, but I didn’t share it as a meme or spam everyone on my friends list.

He blocked me. Go figure.

Kindness 

I had to stop and share this. 

I’m checking in today at SFO on my way to Austin. I’m flying Virgin America and after a rather long security screening I arrive at the flight gate desk to see a very irate man practically yelling at the lady working the desk. He is basically blaming her for his delays in security and demanding all kinds of comps. 
He is just livid and the lady is on the edge of calling security. You can see the moment in her eyes when she goes from trying to console him to being fed up with his nonsense. The guy suddenly turns to me and trys to loop me into his drama-fest as I guess he saw me in the TSA line earlier. Now keep in mind, the flight is on time and we still have another 40 minutes before boarding starts. 

Being already fed up with his BS, I shake my head and in my best southern manners reply, “oh naw, don’t drag me into this, you’re doing a good job of making an ass of yourself without my help.” I then proceed to walk away until his fit is over or he gets hauled away. The latter I was prepared to film. The guy realizes he isn’t getting anywhere and walks away in a huff. 

The very frazzled lady motions me over with a huge smile and twinkle in her eye. She thanks me profusely for being so “patient.”1 She the asks if I needed anything since I had been standing in line. I inquired if there were any aisle seats. It was a full flight but she worked her magic and I was given a much appreciated aisle seat. She again thanked me profusely and I walked away to get food. 

Oh, the story isn’t over. 

I go scarf down some food and am headed back to the gate area when I see the same fellow storming away screaming into his cell phone. He has now been kicked off the flight for his behavior. Oh and he was furious that they had the nerve to put him in a middle seat! 

Now I do not know if my new seat assignment had anything to do with his predicament. There was no indication I was given his seat. It could have been, and most likely was, a random synchronous occurrence. However, I did notice a still present twinkle in the gate agent’s eye as I presented my brand new shiny aisle seat boarding pass for boarding. 

  1. You can read between the lines here, she was gleeful seeing him get served some shade of his own making. []

Absent Minded

So the last picture post here was supposed to go to my photo blog. Apparently, my dumb-ass forgot I changed some passwords a while back so it stopped updating. To make matters worse, when I updated it, I forgot how I had setup the transfer and ended up creating a new IFTTT1 applet.

When I originally setup the photo blog there wasn’t a direct way to import my photos from IG to WordPress. I had to create a work-around that sent the pic from IG to Tumblr then to WordPress. It was a bit messy but it worked pretty well. Best of all, it was automated. Well, all of the API’s have been updated since then apparently. There are multiple applets in IFTTT that allow you to import directly. My IFTTT account has my blog settings not my photo blog so when I “reconnected”, I connected it to the wrong site. hehehe Not the end of the world mind you. I just thought it was funny.

It’s all fixed now. I still need to go back and manually import all the pics that got skipped but it’s all automated again. Yay!

In other tech fails, I installed Chromium on an old laptop and for some reason, the CD drive will not re-install windows. Granted it’s an old copy but it should work. The BIOS settings are all good and the drive is functioning so I’m leaning toward blaming the install disc.  It crashes after loading the software and drivers to install and I get the blue screen of death.  I’m not too upset as I hate Windows 10. It’s clunky, ugly, and just not user friendly. It tries and fails to be a universal OS between desktop and mobile. I’m thinking of just installing Linux. I don’t use the laptop that often, but Chromium is still just a wee bit too simple for my needs. If I could just port Android it would be fine.2  Since it wasn’t ‘designed’ to run Android or Chromium both versions are modified ports, courtesy of 3rd-party vendors. Said vendors aren’t really in a position to provide support. Anyway, first world problems.

 

  1. If This Then That []
  2. I used to run Android thru Bluestacks when I had windows installed and I loved it. []

Beard-tastrophe!

beardless
Missing beard

It shall be known as the great beard-tastrophe of 2017!

I had an accident while trimming the other day. I use my beard trimmers to trim my head about once every week or so. With so little hair, it doesn’t make sense to have two tools for one job. hehehe  Anyway, clumsy Cletus forgot to put the guard back on when moving on to the beard and sheered a good chunk of it off. It looked weird so I had to shave it all.

I actually don’t think my face has been this bare in about 5 or so years. It’s no secret I am not a fan of big beards.1  That said, I love scruff and fuzz. I had a goatee and scruffy beard back before it was trendy and all the ‘man-bear’ rage.2  I routinely keep it short. I had first opted to keep my sideburns but Shawn was insistent that they looked stupid. “You look stupid two little patches of hair on the sides of your face.”  I disagreed but when you have a hubby, you learn to pick your battles. heehee

I’ve had the goatee since I was about 25 or so. I think I’ve only shaved it once since then. I never liked my face w/o a goatee. As soon as I could grow one out full enough, I did. I’ve had it ever since. To me it just fills out my face better.

Anyhoo. Fear not fellow mortals. It will be back soon enough. It takes me about a week and half to grow a full one so I should be back to normal in about two weeks. I consider myself lucky that I survived the catastrophe!

🙂

 

  1. They creep me the f**k out actually []
  2. yawn []

IG: Blocked

So in my continuing fascination with IG1, I got blocked yesterday by a guy I follow. Me and my southern sensibilities are to blame. *giggle*

This guy posts lots of scantily clad photos of himself (and his hubby) on a daily basis. And to be fair, he is rather handsome. I mean it is was pretty much the reason I followed him in the first place. hehehe IG is 70% motivation for the gym for me. I follow a lot of bodybuilders. This particular guy isn’t a BB but still very lean and muscled. We’ve chatted very briefly a maybe 2 or 3 times via the message function. We don’t know each other but seemed to have friendly banter in common. And to be fair to him, none of his photos are overly expressive. They are often very suggestive though.

Anyhoo, he’d taken to ranting about all the requests he gets for nudes and other graphic comments in the last couple weeks. *scratching my head* Don’t get me wrong, sending someone you starfish uninvited is pretty brazen, but asking for nudes is pretty harmless. I mean you don’t have to send them or even reply. I personally never asked but I sure as hell don’t act all butt-hurt2 when someone asks. And if you send me nudes or your starfish uninvited, you just get ignored.

I sent him what I thought was a humorous message about his rant and how it was a little unfair to complain. He didn’t reply, he just blocked me. heehee Don’t get me wrong, I’m not upset. I’m just pointing out the hypocrisy of it. I mean hello, it’s IG! You can’t acted shocked or surprised when folks ask for more of what you’re teasing with. Last time I checked, asking for something was considered good manners. Silly me and my crazy sense of logic, right?

*

I block folks all the time for being abusive, rude, posting ads or the guaranteed follower nonsense. Beyond that, I usually just ignore the rest. However, I did get accused of being an ‘impostor’ recently. The secret to IG is the hastags. Apparently, people often search out tags and if you tag enough, you get more traffic. I never search tags but I understand the appeal. Anyway, I use several fitness tags on many of my gym selfies and I guess said fellow felt because I wasn’t buff enough I was somehow an impostor. Uh, OK. I ignored his silly message until he started sending curse words over and over. He got reported and blocked at that point. So while I see the need for the feature at times, being a tease and then being angry people want and ask for more is childish.

I know, I know I shouldn’t complain about things I’m powerless to control. Shawn would probably scold me for messaging him in the first place, but I couldn’t help it.3 And I did try to be funny about it. I wasn’t trying to be rude or condescending. Oh well, N E X T…..!

  1. Instagram []
  2. see what I did there! []
  3. He is even more pragmatic than I am []