Well, tomorrow is the big day. My flight leaves at 8:00am from SFO w/a brief layover in Dallas. I’m taking the laptop so maybe I’ll get lucky and snap off some pictures to post afterwards. I’m sure everyone is just dying to see the trailer house in all its glory. lol
I’m poking fun to avoid the issue. I’ve been jittery all week thinking about the coming drama. I found out my dad’s remaining siblings will be there as well. I’m expecting a shitstorm of drama. I’m as prepared as I can be I guess. I’m not sure why I’m so nervous. It’s hard to be self-righteous when you as ignorant as most of them are.
Ok, that was probably a little mean. I think my dander is up in preparation. Truthfully, I think my father’s family loves me in their own way. They just don’t know any better. They haven’t seen hide nor hair of me since I left home so I’m sure they are just as nervous about “you know so & so’s boy, the gay one” coming home. I’ll admit, I got a twisted tickle out of it when I heard that is how some of my relatives refer to me now. Forgetting for a moment, they were around thru most of my childhood. It’s like I’m some foreign object that has wedged itself in the stain that is our family. *g*
There is one Aunt, I’m hoping isn’t there. I used to be very close to her as a child. After leaving home, I stayed w/my grandmother the summer of my 16th birthday. She was very ill and no one else would take care of her. She was a feisty old woman and none of her ‘chirrens’ were willing to move in, so I did. Anyway, my fave Aunt’s youngest son, who was 5 years older than me came to stay as well. I adored him. Up until then, I’d always wanted him to be my brother. What I didn’t know is one of my brothers had told him “about” me. So one night, he wakes me up and wants to know if I’d be willing to ‘service’ him. I said no, so he told everyone that I attacked him in his sleep and tried to molest him. Hmmmmm, a 16yo attacking a 21yo in his sleep and winning? Does that sound any kind of reasonable? Well, they all decided it was my fault because of “you know, he IS that way”. Add one more item to the shit list.
After that my fave Aunt wouldn’t have anything to do with me. It was almost as painful as having my father kick me out. The only person who believed me was my grandmother. She saw right thru his lying ass and told him as much. She kicked him to the curb too. She told him he was never welcome in her home ever again until he admitted he had lied. To this day, I don’t know why see believed me over him. She died the following year. Being her spiteful self, when she divided up her meager belongings in her will, she left out the Aunt and gave me her portion. Wasn’t much but it helped me get into college. I never got to say thank you to that old woman. I think she knows though.
So, I’m hoping she, the Aunt, isn’t there. Mainly, I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I just know she’ll bring it up out of anger and make me call her on it. Years later, her son went down a very destructive path and has been in constant trouble since. He was her pride and to have him turn out so bad was a big disappointment. What she doesn’t know is her son told my oldest brother he lied about it. And he will be there. A fight I’m hoping to avoid as I’m not the defenseless child she ‘cussed’ out oh so long ago.
God, how did I get off on this topic. I guess I’m dragging up old memories. I haven’t talked about the Aunt in the longest time. I wonder if she misses me?
Shizer! Gotta run, I was voted Treasurer for our Union Chapter at work recently and today is my first chapter meeting.