I cross posted this from my tribe. I got some great and honest responses so I thought I’d post here as well and see what you folks think.
So heres a question. Can you or do you date more than one guy at the same time?
I’ve never been able to pull it off successfully. I know in the straight world it seems perfectly acceptable to have multiple suitors until one is chosen. However, I always end up feeling guilty and two-faced and it ALWAYS seems to happen to me.
I met a really nice guy a week or so back and we’ve just begun getting to know each other. I then run into another guy at the gym and we hit it off as well. Now the second guy wants to start dating as well.
Of course, TH is the one I was referring to. And if I had to go just on looks, I’d go for TH as he just does it for me in that area.
I probably over analyzing it but I made a promise to myself this year that I would take care of me first. Should I play the field and see whats out there? I usually just end up feeling so damned guilty as if I’m cheating. My best friend T usually says, “unless there is a ring on my finger, I’m still single and that means I can go out w/whoever.” Well, true but I’m not built that way.
This sorta goes back to my “Good Man” post. I try to be a good guy because I know thats what I want in return. And I wouldn’t want some guy I’m into two-timing w/someone else. And for clarity, I’m not referring to sex. Sex is so easy to find in this city. Its like pizza, you can go online and order in. I’m talking about the emotional aspects.
I’ve already made up my mind on how I plan to proceed but I’d love some feedback. (Write it down folks, Moby is actually ASKING for help!)
Just so everyone know, Moby’s best friend T is not me – I’m no where near as big a whore as those two are – I believe if you are lucky enough to date someone – then you should be faithful – all this sleeping around is awful – I’m fully against it.
How many times have I told you, jealousy is not your color!?
Have you talked to either man about being exclusive? No? If the issue hasn’t been raised, then it would be safe to assume that casual dating is OK.
If the issue of being exclusive has been raised, and you are considering it, then I think it would be good to reduce other dating.
Of course, “exclusive” can mean different things to different people… Sexually exclusive, emotionally exclusive, etc…
I guess what I’m saying is this: if you care for these guys enough to be wondering about this, then maybe you should talk to them about it. Communication is a great thing.
I’m a one man at a time kinda guy myself, Now if I was visiting SF, I might convince Moby to take me out on a date.
Well, u know me very well Moby…I think you’ve noticed that if i’m not in an emotionally satisfying relationship then I can be a huge slut also. The moment I find someone that is emotionally satisfying (like my goddess of war/wisdom) then I have no real interest in screwing around. I do look at hotties and ponder their beauty, but I’ll be damned if I actually dont feel much else in the desire dept. I sure wouldnt want to do that to her ,or her to do that to me. You like him? Talk it out.