Last night I was hit w/the realization I’ve fallen for someone. Someone, I tried very hard not to fall for. The catch is it wasn’t the someone I was with at the time. I was out and about getting into some trouble of the carnal kind. Before long, I found myself basking in the attentions of a hot man. A man I’d normally fall over myself vying for his attention. All the while I’m thinking of someone else entirely.
Today, I have all these thoughts rolling around in my head. I haven’t made sense of them yet. What am I feeling? Excited, scared, worried, and thrilled all at the same time.
Excited that I’m still capable of feeling such things.
Scared I won’t measure up. Rejection really is a bitch. (old habits die hard)
Worried I’ll overcompensate.
And completely thrilled that said guy digs me at all.
So while my cacophony of inner voices fight amongst themselves, I’ll move on. The blogroll is hopping lately w/rants about our [gays] self-hatred. Specifically, groups within our clan who obsess and condemn over stereotypes and behaviors they see as undesirable. I’ll take the drag queen any day thank you. If you are silly enough to think that you are somehow better than someone else because of how well you ‘fit in’, how big your cock is, or how butch you look, you have more issues than even me. And frankly, I only have enough room in my carry on for my baggage. If you are just dying to get your two cents in, hop over to bent collective, joe.my.god, and my previous listing from Aaron to check it out.
And speaking of me, I finally got around to updating the bio page. I’m still tweaking it and should have it posted sometime by early next week. I know your foaming at the mouth to hear more so I’ll promptly update once it’s posted.
So Moby —
Who is the guy? Inquiring minds want to know. We thought you were falling for someone in the blog world that you had not met in person yet! What’s happening?
It’s OK to be nervous. Everybody is when they start to get to “really” know someone. I’ll give you the same advice you’d probably give me:
Just be yourself; if it doesn’t work out, it’s better to find out now.
P.S. And try not to be so hard on yourself. You’re really a good guy and those are a rare find!
Tony – it’s the same person.
Oh Moby…do share when we meet in SF this month! And PS. Get on Brett’s case. He’s waffling again. I’ll let him share the details.
Moby! I thought you weren’t going to disclose our secret love! Well it’s out now so I guess we can move in together 🙂
Seriously, I hope it works out. It’s great to see someone so obviously happy and hopeful…
Quash the voices and relish the man whose attention you have. Be yourself and he will accept you for who you are. Then you can ravish the man and make him feel happy he has fallen for you.
“Excited that Im still capable of feeling such things. Scared I wont measure up. Rejection really is a bitch. (old habits die hard)
Worried Ill overcompensate.”
I got here through MrGregOC. Anyway it’s funny that I’ve just gone through all of the above when I saw your post. Life moves on. Rejection is really a bitch especially when you’re told that you love too much. Oh well…
(I like your blog)