WWMD v3.2

So last month we talked about meeting new people in the plutonic sense.  This month is more about the intimate or sexual sense.  *This is a bit of an adult topic.*  I’m clearly very open about sex and see nothing wrong with it.  Not everyone fits the same mold and I fully understand that.  I do what works for me and so should you. 

Q: How do you meet new people for casual fun or possibly dating?

A: First and foremost, be yourself.  Have a clear idea what you are and are not looking for and stick to it.  Don’t be afraid to tell someone you are inexperienced or still discovering what floats your boat.  Some guys get off on that and it might make for even more fun.  If you are looking for someone to date, I highly recommend taking the plutonic approach and letting things build.  Don’t try to make everyone you meet into a potential boyfriend.  You’ve already prejudiced yourself if you do that. 

If you are more of a slut like me, then keep an open mind.  Not every booty calls has to remain that way.  If you find you have a good connection with someone, see where it leads.  It might start off as sex and turn into something more meaningful.  Either way, if you don’t feel a spark or connection, don’t lead the other guy on.  Besides saving you a lot of drama, it shows you have integrity. 

Again, I don’t recommend bars but if you must. . .  If you go out looking for nookie it is probably better if you go alone.  Or at the very least, have a clear understanding with your friend(s) that you are on the prowl.  I’d highly recommend not expecting to always score.  This often leads to either lame sex w/someone you aren’t really interested in or personal disappointment. [1]And yes, I realize sometimes easier said than done.  For safety reasons (and a little common sense), I’d recommend you have a buddy system.  Someone you can text, call, or email if you make plans to go home with someone.  Never hurts to take a modicum of precaution. lol  And for the love of crackers, if you are neg and wish to remain that way, do not let what a complete stranger tells you about their HIV status dictate what type of sex you have.  You should have a range of sexual activity you are comfortable doing regardless of a person’s status.  This avoids making poor decisions that may lead to very unpleasant consequences.  Ultimately, no one is responsible for your health but you.  And frankly, people lie!  Being in the moral right won’t do you much good if you seroconvert. 

If the bars are as unappealing to you as they are to me, there is online and of course, places that are geared for sex.  There are plenty of online sites out there focused on dating and/or hooking up.  Some are free, some charge.  I do find on most of the free sites the ratio of drama and frustration tends to be higher.  A buddy system works equally as well here.  Again, a little common sense goes along way.  And don’t fall into the lame ass trap that so many do.  Be honest about your desires, stats, and pics.  You may get less interest but the interest you do get will be legit.  Trust your instincts, if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. 

Depending on where you live, there are a variety of places you can go to find sex w/o all the online BS.  This, of course, is a comfort level.  Some people don’t enjoy sex clubs, some are too uncomfortable, some just can’t relax enough.  Ya never know unless you try.  Bookstores tend to be dirty and rather degrading.  However, there is a bit of fetish involved in such an anonymous hookup. [2]Depending on where you live, this also could be a little risky.  Sex clubs and baths are often a tad cleaner.  Sex clubs usually follow a theme or cater to certain fetish(es).  At the tubs you usually have the option of privacy and the ability to clean up before and/or after. heehee  Again, it depends on your comfort, what you are looking for, etc.   Myself, I like variety.

I don’t really recommend outdoor sex like parks, public restrooms and such.  Again, this tends to cater to a fetish however, public sex is still illegal in all 50 states.  If that floats your boat, just be prepared to deal with the consequences. 

Regardless, the goal here is to be creative and don’t limit yourself to one area. 


Of course, my advice here assuming you are out and open.  Lying or deceiving a significant other is just bad karma and often comes back to bite you in the ass.  This is also assuming you aren’t one of those guys who constantly cloaks his booty calls under the term “dating”.  If you aren’t into random hookups, there is nothing wrong with that.  If you are, still nothing wrong with it.  What works for one may not work for all.  I’ll say it again, be honest with yourself about your desires, fantasies, wants, etc.  You won’t find fulfillment if you can’t learn to express yourself both emotionally and physically. 


1 And yes, I realize sometimes easier said than done.
2 Depending on where you live, this also could be a little risky.

4 thoughts on “WWMD v3.2”

  1. In the South, reputation is everything. You don't want to be called the "Town Whore". It's not a pretty title that I aspire to. I much prefer "Miss Congeniality".

    With that said, I prefer to hunt in the bars because there you can stake out your prey live in a more natural environment. An online profile is simply an image being projected. But is it reality?

    Observing your prey's behavior in a bar setting allows you to see how they interact with others, whether they smoke, if they are a big lush or a druggie, if they are admired by others, and if they possess a certain set of social skills important to you.

    I find this suits me better because it eliminates people who have misleading pictures on the internet OR who are just plain ass crazy. God forbid you invite Lizzie Borden to share your bed because she has a hot body in her online profile!

  2. Moby – you give very common sense advice.

    Brett honey – you can take home Mr. Sweetie-Pie-Hot-Body from the bar, and still end up with Lizzie Borden the next morning. Venue is no guarantee of sanity. Bless your heart. LOL

  3. Some very good points made here.

    I find online to be better for myself. One I am not as shy online. I can be more myself online.

    I do go out to the bars. However, I do not go with the intent to pick anyone up. I do watch and observe people, in most cases the same people that you see online. You can cross reference them this way.

    I'm not one for tearooms, sex clubs, bookstores, etc. If I was out and of age in the 70's and 80's yeah. My exposure to the gay world has mostly been online. That is what I have become accustom to. Granted my curiosity is high for those other places. I just don't have the balls to try that method of casual sex or hookups. I totally suck at the fine art of cruising or trolling for men.

    I can tell you all the ends and outs though of online hook ups(which sounds bad)and all the games people play.

  4. Plutonic relationships? I'm confused.

    Plutonic (also Plutonian) = of, pertaining to, or resembling Pluto or the lower world; infernal. (Webster's dictionary).

    Now did you mean Pluto the god or Pluto the dog? But Dog is God and vice-versa, right? Are you trying to tell us that you're dating Cerberus, the three-headed guard dog at the gates of Hades? Isn't that bestiality? Is that why you won't show any pictures of your "boy"?

    I tried to get unconfused by going to Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pluto_(mythology)
    So Pluto (the god) hooks up by jumping out of a volcano on four black horses, kidnapping his own niece and dragging her deep underground, which causes the goddess of cereal to get pissed off and destroy all life on Earth.

    So basically you're saying relationships are Hell.

Comments are closed.