Author: Moby

Solo

The weekend is fast coming to a close. It was pretty good. My bike shop was having a bbq on Saturday and I stopped by for some free food while they put a new front tire on the bike. The roomie went with me. Beforehand, we stopped by Mr. S Leather to get his jacket worked on. My friend Christopher met us at SF Moto and afterwards we took a short ride down to Alice’s. He has a new back tire as well and they needed some wearing in.

I was supposed to do chores today but I got a wild hair and took the bike out instead. [1]well, I did get a few errands dones.  What was supposed to be a short ride, turned into a trip half way to Santa Cruz along the coast. It was such a beautiful day out. As expected, Alice’s was super busy. The pic is only a tiny fraction of the bikes. There is a convenience store across the street and their lot was full to the brim as well.

I could have easily planned a group ride but I wanted to go solo today. I prefer the group rides but sometimes I need to go by myself. I can set my own pace, I don’t have to worry about anyone else, and I can stop (or not) whenever I choose.

I’d only planned to go to down to Pacifica and back but before I knew it I was passing Half Moon bay. hehehe I didn’t have any plans today (other than chores) so I said the hell with it and enjoyed the ride. It got a bit chilly on the way back as the fog had started rolling in. [2]Course, Apple guy got 2+ inches of snow last night in Dallas so I’m not complaining.  Between yesterday and today, the new front tire is definitely worn in now. hehehe Sadly, the weekend is over though. Tomorrow, its back to the pump and grind of work. Its gonna be a stressful/busy week too. Ugh. I’m not complaining as at least I have a job. I know many who don’t right now.

On a side note, God of War 3 shipped this week. Expect me to be MIA online for awhile once it does! lol If the full version is as good as the demo I’m sure I’ll be enthralled until I finish it.

On another side note, Apple guy is back soon and for good this time. I’ve been obsessing a bit this past week and driving him a little nuts I think. The great thing is he and I can talk about such things openly. I like that very much as I never had that with the ex.

Ok, enough for now. Hope everyone has a good week.

References

References
↑1 well, I did get a few errands dones.
↑2 Course, Apple guy got 2+ inches of snow last night in Dallas so I’m not complaining.

Read/Write

While I don’t blog as much as I used to, I’m always tickled when people I know ‘come out’ about reading my blog. I’ve had 2 coworkers and 2 friends fess up this week. Why they felt it was a secret is beyond me. My blog is and has always been public. While I do sometimes hide my more personal thoughts, [1]even most of those get shared usually its perfectly easy to find me. That said, I’ve made a few changes as of late. Some out of necessity and others out of convenience.

I’ve always made it a point not to use my real name online. [2]Considering only a handful of people actually call me by my real name its kind of a moot point in my mind.  When searching, I realize it presents some challenges if that is your only frame of reference. But, if that is your only frame of reference then you probably don’t know me that well anyway. Right?  Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with people knowing my real name, I just decided a long time ago it was prudent not to use it in a medium rife with the potential for abuse i.e. the internet. So far, it has served me pretty well.

On the flip side, for a long time my personal and work worlds almost never mixed. As time has passed, that has changed quite a bit. Many of my coworkers often read my blog and share their insights with me in person. Knowing me in person, they are rarely surprised by what they read. lol That said, there are some things they just wouldn’t understand. I used to spend a lot of time and effort managing “restricted” content on the old archive. It was very time consuming to say the least. I finally got tired of messing with it and just made it all private. Time will tell if I ever bring it back. I’m sure as the use of universal log-ins become the norm, there will be newer and easier ways to manage users but for now you do not need to log-in when you visit le ole blog. It still helps w/commenting but content-wise everything is pretty much the same.

References

References
↑1 even most of those get shared usually
↑2 Considering only a handful of people actually call me by my real name its kind of a moot point in my mind.

Mobile

One of my biggest frustrations with the blogging world as of late is the lack of compatibility for mobile devices. More and more, people are accessing the web and online content via mobile devices like the nexus one, droid, iphone, ipod, blackberry, palm, etc.

Many mobile gadgets due a decent job of parsing/displaying data for reading. Newer gadgets will even render complete HTML content as well. Hell, the new breed of pda/phones have chip speeds equal to computers of only 5 years ago. Clearly, processing power isn’t the problem.

The big problem is trying to squeeze webpages meant to run on a computer screen onto a device a fraction of the size. To their credit, most mobile device makers have ingenious rendering or zooming techniques. That said, its still extremely annoying, especially if you are surfing a lot.  Even worse, most professional sites often incorporate scripts/plugins/flash that won’t run on most mobile devices. And again, the problem is not from processing speed. No, as usual it boils down to petty proprietary rules, squabbles over licensing, poorly written software, and last but not least, greed. All of which are sad, pathetic, and stupid. For the corporate aspect, companies need to get their act in gear or perish. The need for mobile access is far from stale and is only going to increase. Not to mention, in today’s economy, companies need to encourage access any way they can.

For a medium wholly dependant on exposure, I’m really surprised more folks haven’t updated their sites/blogs to accommodate mobile exposure. Hell, my blog isn’t even that popular and I’ve had a mobile version for several years. [1]To be fair, I upgraded my mobile app months ago and just realized tonight I hadn’t activated the change. While the old app did the job, the new one is sooooo much nicer. Feel free to give me … Continue reading  There is already a niche industry to handle the demand. More people/companies just need to realize and take advantage of it. 

For myself, I consume most of my online content via my phone now. Its just easier with my schedule and time constraints. Sadly, for the blog world, commenting or interacting is still painfully awkward or even impossible at times. Not to mention, extremely frustrating.

The point of my little ramble? All you companies and dedicated bloggers out there, upgrade your sites for mobile consumption already! Sheez, bulky computers are so 90’s. :p

/rant

References

References
↑1 To be fair, I upgraded my mobile app months ago and just realized tonight I hadn’t activated the change. While the old app did the job, the new one is sooooo much nicer. Feel free to give me feedback on it.

Down Time

So after 62 hours of down time, my blog is finally back up and running. My ISP’s database server suddenly went offline and has only just gone back up. While I have had decent service from 1and1.com over the years, I can say I am extremely frustrated by their absolute lack of support and follow up. [1]A quick search on twitter showed I was one of many people affected.  I am currently taking suggestions and recommendations for other ISPs.

My frustration stems from six phone calls and several (completely ignored) emails over the span of 3-days being met with bland indifference and ignorance. Not one single tech I spoke with had any clue of the problem(s) or any idea of when the problem(s) might be corrected. It was abundantly clear they were all just reading off preformatted scripts meant to mollify disgruntled customers. I got sad half-hearted customer service ‘speak’ apologies. Here is a clue you nitwits, spare me the apologies and give me answers!

Even more disturbing, not a single person could even explain how an ISP as large as 1and1.com could function w/o a backup database server. Seriously, IT 101. Hello?

*

Thank you to everyone who checked in on me. Several folks were worried something had happened. I am perfectly fine. [2]And yes Apple guy is too.  Your notification and queries were extremely sweet and I continue to be flattered so many of you continue to read my madness.

As I said, I am seriously considering switching ISP’s as well as recommending the 18 other companies I helped setup on 1and1 to switch as well. In an age of volume, companies only respond to one thing, their bottom line. Only when it plunges do the seem to take any real concern and make changes.

\rant

References

References
↑1 A quick search on twitter showed I was one of many people affected.
↑2 And yes Apple guy is too.

Git-R-Done!

We had such a good ride yesterday! As you can tell from the pic there was a good size group as well. Even though I have to go slower, I love riding in groups. Its hard to explain but I just really get a thrill out of being on the road with a small contingent of riders.

I had originally planned to ride with another group but they ended up canceling their Saturday ride due to rain on Friday and early Saturday morning. I totally borrowed their destination, albeit with my own route. I think I’ve mentioned I co-host a very small group of riders on Facebook. It started as just an easy way for a very small group to post rides and has kinda grown into a fledgling club. Working full-time I can’t give it the TLC it probably deserves but it serves its purpose. I’m hoping to expand it a bit this year with a few other types of activities. I’ve gotten great feedback from the guys so I think it will be fine. Oh and speaking of, the weather was almost perfect. Just a little chilly but sunny and absolutely no rain! Oh hell yeah, it was on! lol

My poor beast was just itchin’ to get out of 2nd gear.  We ended up going down to Santa Cruz via some really awesome small back roads. We started out with a much larger group but many didn’t wanna go quite so far so we kinda bled riders until the half-way point. After that, we had pretty much the 7 knuckle-heads above for the duration. We had lunch in Santa Cruz, watched the American Hockey team lose the gold medal in overtime, and then headed home back along the ocean/Hwy 1.

*

On a side note, Apple guy is in the process of getting his bike shipped here for his upcoming move. He is working on painting the fairings this week to give it his personal touch/look. I can’t wait till he gets here so we can ride together!

*The rest of the post is random details, feel free to skip if you’re bored. *

Continue reading Git-R-Done!

Wish List

Le old blog has always been about me learning and discovering myself. True to form, this post follows in that vein. Its also a bit mushy. (You have been warned. lol,)

I was yacking it up with my buddy Christopher the other night and had a bit of an epiphany. It just sort of hit me while I was ranting away on the phone. [1]I love talking with him because he lets me ramble on ad-nauseum. lol  Actually, we have a lot in common and I trust his advice.  Many of you know things have been going pretty well between Apple guy and myself. So I’m talking with Christopher about that very thing; basically ticking off all the things that I like about him. I’m literally bouncing thru a list in my head when it suddenly dawned on me. For the first time in my entire life, I’ve met someone who has every quality [2]Emotional and physical. Oh yes! I lust after him! that I’ve always wished for in what I’d consider my ideal mate!  *goose bumps from hell!*

I’m fond of saying, ‘I try to be the type of man I’d like to date.’ It doesn’t mean I’m searching for perfection just someone perfect for me. And I’ll be the first to admit, its taken me many years and many failed attempts to discover what exactly that is to me. I had to discover not only what it is I want/don’t want but also what it is I have to offer in return. And lawd knows, many of you have followed my dating ups and downs over the years. A small few of you have even been their since the beginning of my blog and the very raw and painful break-up with the ex.

Thru it all, I’ve met guys who had some or most of what I wanted but never the whole enchilada. I guess you could call it a wish list. And to be frank, I’ve never actually expected to find someone who had it all. I’ve always hoped I’d find a guy who I had enough in common with to build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. A relationship that was honest, open, and free to evolve as we did. [3]No tall order at all, right? lol  After TFA, I’d pretty much given up on that. It became something I still wanted but never expected to really find. To my credit, even after TFA, I continued to dabble and explore parts of my id. And I’m somewhat proud to stay, even thru my resignation, I still managed to continue learning about myself.

So imagine my total surprise to suddenly realize I could very well be getting my wish! I found someone who represents everything I’ve always wanted in a partner. I guess it shouldn’t come as a big surprise to me (even though it is) my connection and approach to building a relationship with this person has and is completely different. Instead of discovering a few things that appeal to me and then attempting to build a relationship on those things, I find myself just building on one entirely all-inclusive package. (This is one of those times where I know my grasp of the English language fails me. Try as I might, I can’t seem to truly express the full breath of what I’m feeling right now.)

How do I make this make sense? Let me try this. With my previous dating attempts, no matter how good or bad, I’ve always felt like I was either giving up part of myself or part of what I truly wanted in an effort make the relationship work. I have yet to feel any of that with Apple guy. If anything, I’m getting more than I ever hoped.  Being very territorial about my private space, I’ve yet to feel trapped, cooped up, or even bothered by any of the time he has spent with me. Our time together just seems so easy, with little or no effort on either of our part. Considering we spent over 2 months of the last 5 1/2 months together, that is a big statement. I’ve had contentment before but never in the sense I feel it now. My biggest fear after Drew was being abandoned again. After he moved here, it seemed all of his priorities and goals changed. Sadly, those changes didn’t include me. It hurt me very deeply when he so abruptly abandoned me. It also made me greatly fear the same thing in all of my following dating attempts. And to be fair, I am still scared now, however it isn’t as overpowering like times past. Its more of a nagging annoyance that rears its head in my moments of doubt. If anything, I’m finding a strength I’ve never know before. I don’t worry about Apple guy finding the BBD. [4]bigger better deal  I am self-assured in the knowledge that he is with me for many of the same reasons I am with him. And while we relate very differently in these areas, I am discovering how to read and understand him. That understanding has only served to re-enforce my new found strength. I think there are definitely times when I fail to express (to him) the true depth of my emotion. That said, I am confident he sees the truth behind my eyes. Does that make any sense at all?  Ugh. I’m still struggling to express myself here.

I guess in the simplest terms I know, in almost 6 short months, I’ve fallen deeply and madly in love. I feel like Apple guy is the one. Not the fairytale happy-ever-after crap, but the one person who is willing to take the time to understand me, accepts me (flaws and all), and is willing to stand by me thru the good and the bad. I am not so foolish to think we won’t have problems or fight, but I find myself daring to believe he is perfect for me. He allows the “me” to exist equally along side the “we”. 

While the future is unwritten, I am increasingly optimistic about our life together. The idea of a future with him warms my soul and I eagerly await it. The idea of him not being in my life is painful to even mention.

Fate forbid, even if we don’t make it, I realize now I love him like I have loved no other. He has shown me that what I truly want is not only possible but attainable. And no matter how things progress, I will always love and be grateful to him for that.

Stay tuned and wish m luck!

References

References
↑1 I love talking with him because he lets me ramble on ad-nauseum. lol  Actually, we have a lot in common and I trust his advice.
↑2 Emotional and physical. Oh yes! I lust after him!
↑3 No tall order at all, right? lol
↑4 bigger better deal

VD

I’m referring to Valentine’s day of course. Usually, I play for the opposing team, but this year having Apple guy in my life, I had to switch teams, so to speak. :p  He came up for VD and is spending the week with me. I don’t even need to tell ya how happy that made me. He had only been gone a little over two weeks and I was beside myself missing him. Speaking of, I know I haven’t been talking about him in much detail here since we met. That has been on purpose. One, I didn’t wanna jinx it and two, I’m a little gun-shy after my last two botched dating attempts. [1]Actually, I was kind of avoiding dating all together when he and I met.  I figure rather than over thinking it here, I’d just let things develop at their own pace and see how it goes. To my delight, its been going very well. I find that our comfort level together is such, I’m quickly moving away from my fears and lack of trust. Even after realizing how deep my ex’s betrayal hurt me, I hadn’t let it go. It jaded me and I’ve been going into potential relationships sort of expecting them to fail. I guess it was a twisted self-defense mechanism to protect myself from getting hurt. Whatevs…

Anyway, enough about that. The above pic is the very nice bouquet he got me for VD. I really like it a lot. I took the more traditional approach for him (see below).

We both got mixed up and thought Valentine’s day was yesterday. lol  Money is tight because of his upcoming move so we didn’t do anything too extravagant. We ended up going to see Valentine’s Day, the movie. It was just ok. Cute to watch on the holiday as it had some tender/sweet scenes sprinkled in. Overall, it was entirely too long and several scenes seemed to almost never end. I was kind of disappointed. It had such an all-star cast, I expected a lot more. If you didn’t get your dates confused like we did and you aren’t planning to see it today, I’d recommend waiting until DVD.

After the movie, we hung out at the Metreon playing video games and air-hockey for awhile. Of which, he soundly beat me. He has a a bit of a competitive streak and hates losing. lol [2]He and Brett would either either instantly love or hate each other.  The upside is he won me a life-size tickle-me-Elmo (I have a thing for Elmo) from one of those stuffed animal machines. 

Even better, when we got home he made us some gourmet grilled cheese “sammiches”. OMG, they were so good! I can already tell I’m definitely gonna have to up my cardio once he moves here full-time. lol 

Overall, we had a nice relaxing enjoyable day together. Some of you have noticed, I changed my Facebook status to “in a relationship”. I never realized anyone paid that much attention to such things but apparently you do. I was tickled from all the responses I got the day I changed it. hehehe  Yeah, we’ve decided to make it official. And so far, he manages to put up with me pretty well. :p

Actually, the comfort level is really good between us. I usually feel completely at ease around him. He has commented he feels the same way. This month is our 6 month marker, can you believe it? I can’t wait for him to make the move to SF. If everything goes well, he could be back permanently within 2 weeks. If not, probably 3-4. Either way, things are finally wrapping up and I’m glad he’ll be here soon.

References

References
↑1 Actually, I was kind of avoiding dating all together when he and I met.
↑2 He and Brett would either either instantly love or hate each other.

Nasty

I was reminded today of how I still need to work on my temper at times. Granted, the incident wasn’t of my doing but I over reacted nonetheless.

I’m leaving the gym and this woman (obviously of the lesbian persuasion) slams into me as she is coming in. I was all prepared to be nice about it, expecting her apology, when I heard those two little words…”fucking faggot”.

Now in my mind, the southern black women welled up in me with, “oh no she dinnn’t!” However, the bastard in me [1]satan made me do it, I just know it! took over and before I had even ‘thunk’ it out flew the words, “what did you just call me you fucking fish-fry c*nt?” She was clearly not expecting it but it was already too late. She got two full minutes of Moby’s get-in-your-face, eyes slitted, make a sailor blush obscenities. Poor thing, before she even had a chance to counter, I had not only countered but also attacked and conquered. Needless to say, she stormed away in huff.

Looking back on it, I really don’t know why I got so upset. It was pointless and nothing was really solved by my behavior. I guess it was just so unexpected from one of my own, so to speak, I just reverted to defense mode. Irregardless, I’m a little embarrassed to admit I behaved so badly.

If anything, it shows I still have anger issues. I guess that will be one of my resolutions for the new year.

References

References
↑1 satan made me do it, I just know it!

Birf’ed

Its that time again. Yours truly is a year older today. I was completely blown away by all the well wishes I got via Facebook, twitter, text, and voicemail today. The irony is I don’t feel 39. Oh sure, my body is finally beginning to show the signs of my age, [1]I found my first grey chest hair just this week but my mind still feels many years younger.

I’ve often wondered if it is because I spent most of my 20’s focused on survival or I’m just young at heart. Either way, I’m glad. While wisdom and experience has certainly mellowed me a bit, I’m still very rambunctious and free-spirited. Both qualities I love in myself and others. Unlike many (especially in the gay world), I do not fear or resent getting older. I can see the allure of youth and being young, but I think its way overrated.

Apple guy stayed thru my birthday, which I was very grateful. He got some bad news this week so has been stressed. The rain kept us indoors for most of the day. We finally mad it out for some lite shopping and sushi for dinner. I’m sad he is leaving back to Dallas tomorrow. Its been so nice having him curled up next to me every night for the past month. The upside is he is coming back soon. Even better, the next time is when he moves here. So there is a little silver lining to be found.

References

References
↑1 I found my first grey chest hair just this week