Category: random thoughts

Resolute-toot

I’m not big on NY resolutions anymore as it seems a bit contrived and so few people really follow thru anyway. I do; however, try on an ongoing basis to improve myself.

Looking forward this year, I think one of my goals will be less time on social media. Sadly, social media isn’t about communication anymore. It is a plaform for an individual to spew their own bias and expect reinforced support via comments/likes. I spend way too much time trying to point out distinctions that matter.

Subjective validation is all the rage and it has become very apparent to me no one cares about facts or details. Issue dejour must be devoured, judged, and spewed forth with outrage and angst and then summarilty forgotten. Exeryone expects something be done while continuing on their own path of indifference. Successful discourse is discouraged and chastized. And integrity and honesty are just buzzwords to be bandied about like so much other tripe.

​I’d rather focus on my own life more and lead by example. It sound so negative but I don’t mean it that way. I just need to stop wasting time on things I can’t control. Of course part of me says I just follow the wrong people. Maybe I should be more selective about who I follow and let follow me? *thought bubbles..thought bubbles…thought bubbles….* *Pop* Naaaaaaaaah. LOL

​My only other new goal this year is to try to get out more. Shawn and I are very comfortable being home-bodies. I think we are a wee bit too comfortable now. lol It’s time to get out a bit more and be active. Beyond that, I’m focused on the normal things: lower debt, better health, eating better, etc.

Anyone else making big new years plans?

Stat

Sooooo, in all the domestic bliss, I forgot to mention I’m moving into year 11 of this here blog thingy. Eleven years. Other than masturbation, I don’t think I’ve kept up with anything in my life that long before. (You laugh, but I am not joking.) All these years later and I’m still at it. Granted, not as fast and steady as I used to be, but that is ok.

I was pleasantly suprised to see I still get a decent chuck of blog traffic, even with my lower postings as of late. Ironically, posts about Cooper often get the most hits. [1]Being upstaged by my own dog! The nerve. Google has updated their analytics engine and it is truly amazing the scope of data they capture now. Most of my traffic is still direct, meaning people load my feed or come directly to my site. This one stat was the most surprising and humbling. Thanks for reading my madness. Really, I’m tickled people still enjoy my rants. Sadly, Brettcajun is STILL the best referral source within the blogosphere. How that dirty cajun manages it is beyond me. A big surprise was Joe.my.god’s blog. Apparently, I’ve been getting a ton of new referrals from his blog. I read him daily (and so should you). Towleroad made the top 10 for what I think is the first time ever. I attribute the later two gains to my increase in comments on their sites. My lack of interest on FB has to be captured somewhere.

Out of social media referrals I got another surprise. I get almost as many clicks from Google+ as I do FB. Twitter is a very distant third. FB used to dominate this area. I’m glad to see a more even shift as I continue to use FB less and less. When I factor in the referrals between blogger and plus, Google dominates.

My keywords are always a hodge podge as my blog tends to jump all over. Let me just list the top 10 for the past 30 days …

Eye problems behind a computer
vision problems optometrist
SF Moby
Moby zipper
Sex with Moby
Grindr Rules
Gubbmint
adult archives
Ok porn
bloggers in SF

Yes, that is the top 10 ways new vistors have found me in the last 30 days. lol To be fair, the ratio drops significantly after Sex with Moby. The latter I assume relates to the other Moby btw.

Yeah, I continue to blog and yeah I know it’s probably considered passe now but I never did respond well to peer pressure. Le blog continues to enrich my life and is my chronicle in attempting a life well lived.

References

References
↑1 Being upstaged by my own dog! The nerve.

Still

I guess my delay in blogging as of late has led some to think I have quit all together. No, still at it just distracted by life. It happens.

The CT scan went fine. I won’t know any results until I meet with the doc again, probably next week.  Hopefully, I’ll have a better answer and treatment for my lovely eyeball. I’ve been noticing ever so slight changes to my vision and not for the better. What I used to only randomly notice is now causing slight changes in the way I see things. I’m still far from my every day vision being affected but still concerning. The doc’s office is supposed to call this next week for the follow up appointment. I can clearly see the difference in the alignment in my eyes now as well.

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Continuing in random updates, things are still awesome at home. The Pup (Shawn) and I are doing wonderful. Contentment is a very good thing. I never thought I’d be this content in life. I simply cannot imagine life without him.

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Cooper is still sassy as ever. He has successfully worked his magic on Shawn and won him over. I don’t think Shawn was 100% sold at first but he is now. heehee He routinely points out one of Cooper’s many adorable faces. Anyway, other than his ongoing skin issues, Cooper Pooper is doing exceedingly well.

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I am STILL trying to get my fat ass back into a consistent gym schedule. Afore mentioned contendedness has affected my motivation to go to the gym in a big way. lol There are worser things I guess. So I’m adding the dreaded cardio into my routine and trying to get back down to where I like to be weight wise. The motivation has been coming back, albeit slowly.

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I still have things go blog about. Almost daily I’m like, “I should blog about that” but I get distracted and move on to other things. lol I guess it is good that life is busy and keeps me focused.

Settle

Life is slowly settling back into normalcy for me. The work project is over and I’m coming into the last week of training a new recruit. I’ll be back on my own then. I don’t think I realized how much this project impacted me. You’d think I’d have been less stressed considering my main job often deals with life/death scenarios. Oddly, I found that I was bringing my work home with me, at least in my head anyway. Normally, when I leave work I leave it all behind. The place could burn down and as long as they don’t call me I don’t think about it. On the project, I was constantly worried about progress and deadlines. The interdepartmental fights and obstruction was extremely frustrating. It affected not only my peace of my mind but also my gym schedule and even my *ahem* libido. The latter wasn’t as bad as you might think though. For someone who has always had a libido, not having one for awhile was kind of nice. Ever since puberty it has been on full. It usually isn’t a matter of am I frisky but how much so. LOL Not having that constant heat in head for awhile was kinda nice. [1]And it most definitely has come come back!  hehehe

I’m grateful home life has been amazing. Nothing glamorous or riveting mind you, just two people who get each other spending quality time together. Many evenings, after I’d made dinner, he’d be in the bedroom on the computer playing video games and I’d be in the living room watching Tivo or playing my own video games. We would both check on the other from time to time to make sure we weren’t feeling neglecting. We finally just realized we didn’t need to, we were both content. Even though we were home together, we were both doing our own things and having ‘me’ time. I can’t tell you how amazing that feels.

So now that things are settling, I need to get my butt back on a steady gym schedule. I’ve been very negligent in going and have put on a few pounds. Tis  true, I’ve gotten a little bit of a gut. I miss the gym but I’ll admit I’ve gotten a little used to just coming home and relaxing. It’s been hard to get back into a solid routine. [2]It doesn’t help when my neighbor literally just dropped off some delicious homemade cookies!  It is time though. The GHHD’s [3]Gay High Holy Day are approaching. lol

I keep getting asked if I’m giving up blogging. The answer is still no. I always put life first and blog second. The blog has suffered a bit. I had some hiccups recently with my new(er) ISP a few times as I got migrated to a new server.  During one such short outage, I got several freaked out emails asking if I had deleted my blog. Nope, still here.

Tomorrow starts the new week and a new gym schedule. I’m only slightly outside of the range I like to be in physically. I just need to get a good schedule going again.

The Pup and I are headed to Phoenix the last week of June. He hasn’t been back since he moved here and I know he misses it. I don’t mind (except for the damn heat). He spent his whole life there so I’d be surprised if he didn’t miss it. The roomie is watching Cooper so he’ll be in good hands while I’m gone.

Time for GoT’s so more later.

References

References
↑1 And it most definitely has come come back!
↑2 It doesn’t help when my neighbor literally just dropped off some delicious homemade cookies!
↑3 Gay High Holy Day

Month

Lord, it has been almost a month since I’ve posted any updates. That’s just cray-cray.  My how time flies.

I was assigned a trainee right after I finished my project. He is with me for 2 more weeks and then I’m finally on my own again. I could have refused but considering how few coworkers were proficient on the new software, I would have felt guilty not offering to help. The trainee is doing fine, he is where he should be. Some days I think he is worried I hate him. lol He’ll be a good employee when I’m done with him.

Beyond that, life is good. The Pup just celebrated his birthday and home life is wonderfully calm and happy. Cooper is having digestion issues [1]aka constipation which has led to some ‘mishaps’. I’m getting him a higher protein food this weekend and that will most definitely take care of the problem. lol Beyond that, he’s fit as a fiddle.

Tons of nonsense in the news lately. The internal fighting over slang vs slur in the Transgender community under our umbrella. The recent horrible article written by a new IML attendee. Celebrities using guy slurs and the on-going marriage battles. Drama, drama, drama. I mention it all because I have thoughts to share but being a busy bee, finding time can be rough.

More soon.

References

References
↑1 aka constipation

Burn

People always seem surprised that I don’t go to Burning Man. I’m not sure exactly why that would come as a surprise but ok.

Having read their official site, FAQ, and supporting links, I just don’t see the point. I’m not bashing it, I just don’t get it. Not getting it doesn’t make me against it in any way either. [1]I’ve gotten hate mail in the past for daring to discuss a different POV. lol  My only real disagreement is their assertion of “radical self-reliance.” I don’t call packing everything you need to survive for 8 days radical. I call it being prepared. Living in a desert open space isn’t conducive to self-reliance on the environment. Maybe it’s a minor point but it feels slightly disingenuous to me. I wonder if growing up actually relying on the environment to provide for me has jaded me a bit. My idea of radical self reliance involves living off the environment with little to no assistance from the outside world. Pumping in electricity, water, food, sanitation facilities, and Internet is not self-reliance IMO. lol

Anyway, I appreciate a lot of the artistic effort that goes into the event. Some of the displays and constructs are truly a site to behold. Many of the costumes and over the top displays can be equally artistic and beautiful. Is it enough to interest me in camping out? Not really. The reason I mention it is because I’ve begun to hear grumblings from many about how the event is changing. Like anything new and exciting, it is bound to grow and evolve over time. The question is can it survive the increase in size and still maintain the integrity of its roots? Ironically, said issue is discussed on its official site.

Much of the feedback I’ve heard this year has been very 50/50. Some swear it is a life-changing event and revel in the freedom of it. Others complain of feeling ostracized and the very clique-ish feel that is developing. I can’t speak for either side, but have noticed a very distinct shift in the feedback. Time will tell if it will become a victim of its own success.

As for me, I’m not for or against, it just doesn’t appeal to me. From the positive side, I hear a lot about the spiritual connection it invokes. Having found my spiritual center, I struggle to see a need here. My meditation and readings feed my spirituality and I don’t feel it’s lacking. So this aspect doesn’t appeal to me.

Then there is the living off the grid and/or self reliance. Well, I practically lived off the grid most of my childhood. Beyond having electricity, we had no phone or cable. The internet didn’t exist yet. Our water was from a well we drilled. We hunted, fished, and/or grew 90% of our food. Several of my younger years included living with an out – house vs indoor plumbing. My closest neighbor was 3 miles in either direction. The closest emergency room was 50 miles away. I guess this might have spoiled this aspect of the event for me. lol

The artistic expression is probably the single thing that interests me. Being the only interest, it is not compelling enough to make me endure the hardships and fork over $400 for said experience. The latter only meant as a declaration, not a negative vote.

So there you have it. If you’re an attendee, first-timer or OG, feel free to share your experiences.

References

References
↑1 I’ve gotten hate mail in the past for daring to discuss a different POV. lol

Heard

It can be interesting hearing people have said things about you that have the tiniest kernel of truth or no truth at all. And unlike brettcajun, I don’t fly into fits of rage or hand-wringing as a result. :p There was a time when it would have gotten to me but not anymore. In the last few months I’ve heard a few gems I felt like sharing. And I will remark on how odd it seems they all happened within the span of a few months. lol Is there a horoscope entry there somewhere?

“He has an 11-inch penis.” And I shit you not, this not the first time someone has said that! While I’m certainly happy with my size, I ain’t no 11 inches! Back when Apple guy and I were together, a mutual friend apparently had me mixed up with someone else and while casually having a conversation with Apple guy, felt compelled to blurt out we’d had sex and he really liked my 11 inch penis. Needless to say, Apple guy set him straight on the subject. I was flattered but what the hell does one do with a monster like that? I mean the only persons who could handle it would probably already be a bit road-worn, if you catch my meaning. lol Hearing it again recently I can’t help but wonder if it comes from the same person? Regardless, I’m not even flattered it’s just bizarre.

“He has a habit of moving guys to SF and then dumping them.” Twisted truth that no longer resembles the truth is no longer truth. It is true all of the my last three significant relationships involved a man that lived elsewhere. That I moved them here and then dumped them would be categorically untrue. Not even close. lol The Pup and I laughed it off. He knows the truth and that is all that would ever matter to me.Even if he were concerned, he would have had the integrity to come and ask me directly.

“He’s only into white guys.” Nope. While I do find white guys more in my range, my attractions run the gambit. I’ve had many flavors over the years.

Perception can be a funny thing but one should also interject reason and logic at some point.

Observe

Just some random observations I’ve made as of late.  .  .

Old ladies don’t look when crossing the street but seem to suddenly look up when they are smack dab in the middle of the intersection.

Children under the age of 5 on flights should be sedated. .

A dog can fart and lick your face at the same time.

‘Chubby’ now means very large apparently.

Neon gas has a horrible smell

Cats can apparently defy gravity when a strange dog is near.

If you’re at the gym and discover you HAVE to do number 2, remember to lock the door.

Safe

I got into a 418 [1]verbal altercation with a friend of a friend the other day on FB. It got rather disagreeable and he ended up blocking me. Not the point of my rant though.

He is a motorcycle rider like myself. He posted a pic of him and another friend of his riding their bikes on a sunny day wearing absolutely no protective gear. No helmets, not padding, nadda. I posted a half-joking comment asking where his gear was. My comment was, “Hmmm, this pic must be staged cause I don’t see your gear.” I added an lol and smiley face to emphasize I was teasing. He then proceeds to blow up my messages with all the reasons I’m an a**hole for even hinting he should be wearing gear.

Granted none of his excuses were remotely valid but he was right in that it is his choice. But I don’t think my polite nudge was rude or offensive. If he is stupid enough to ride w/o any gear, so be it. The part the struck me is how vociferous he was in his attack on me for suggesting he was being irresponsible. As if I somehow impugned his integrity. Whatevs. I was politely trying to encourage you to be more responsible. Shame on me right?

As for my interjection, I look at this way. If you ‘friend’ me on any social medium, you are inviting my feedback and comments. While I am respectful, I will often give you an honest opinion, even if it isn’t the one you want to hear.

References

References
↑1 verbal altercation

Hangups

We all have them, myself included. That said, I get really tickled at some of my friends hangups at times. My group of friends tends to be very diverse. So it shouldn’t really surprise me their hangups are just as diverse.

I have one friend, who after spending most of his life in service to the military, will be getting out soon. He has developed a laundry lists of do’s and don’ts on the type of guys he can date. If he has sex on the first date, that automatically means he can’t date them. If he meets a guy on a hookup site, he won’t date them. His rule structures are often complex and contradictory. He loves me because I constantly bust his chops over it.

I have another friend who won’t date someone unless they’ve had sex. He insists on it before he’ll even consider dating a guy. He wants to know all your fetishes, desires, etc.

Yet another friend won’t even consider sex w/a guy till the 4th or 5th date.

Another who is in an open LTR but they never discuss it. It is very much like ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’ sort of scenario. lol

These are just a few examples of many I could give. Honestly, to me it seems exhausting trying to sort thru people’s ‘rules’  and ‘requirements.’ This is very true of the online sites as well. Profiles have become a laundry list of must haves, must not haves, must be, must not be, blah blah blah. I care less where or how we met and more about who you are as a person.

I guess I’m odd because I try not to place a bunch of restrictions on guys. [1]But I will admit the few restrictions I do have can be very limiting. My whole no-drugs policy sadly kills a huge percentage of eligible guys for me. I don’t provide a laundry list of requirements. I don’t expect you to know what I want or even to know what my expectations are. I will however, tell you what I want, expect, like, etc.

Sex always seems to be a big issue for gay guys. Be it the one extreme of ‘no sex till we’re in love‘ or the other, ‘sex, sex, sex, and more sex, please.‘ I like to think I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m not prudish but I’m not a sex fiend [2]well at least I think I’m not either. I do like sex and it’s important but I don’t start insisting you see things my way about it. I’ve dated guys who wanted monogamy, I’ve dated guys who avoid monogamy. Again, I like to think I’m in the middle I don’t want total monogamy but I also don’t want a free for all. To me, it is a very playful act and I often approach it from that perspective. As a partner, I’d like to know we can be honest with each other about our wants/desires and share our experiences with each other. We share everything else, why not share sexual adventures?

One of my hangups is I think I’m too honest. You don’t have to ask anyone about my dirt. I will straight up tell you. There is no shame in my game and I have no problem admitting things. I also am inclined to trust what people tell me too much. I don’t try to examine it from every possible angle to see if there are any hidden meanings. If you tell me a thing, I’ll believe it until proven otherwise. Sexually, I’ve become much less “flexible” in my positions. I doubt this creates any limitations but I can see it as a hangup.

I approach every meeting with as few expectations as possible beyond you being honest in the representation of yourself. (And you’d be surprised how many fail at just that!) Otherwise, it’s a clean slate. I don’t bend my ideals, philosophies, choices, etc to match yours. I like being me and all that comes with that. If we are truly a good fit, our similarities will merge well and/or our differences will compliment each other. I like to think this gives me an edge. Considering I’m single, one might argue against that. lol But that is ok. My being is a choice not a requirement. And if we do click, I’ll expose my cock and my soul to you, but not necessarily in that order.

References

References
↑1 But I will admit the few restrictions I do have can be very limiting. My whole no-drugs policy sadly kills a huge percentage of eligible guys for me.
↑2 well at least I think I’m not