I had to have a meeting w/my trainee today. After just two days of hard core training, it has become obvious that she isn’t going to make it. After a very painful session of crying, we moved beyond it and tried to give her other options.
This is one part of my job I detest. More later when I’m in a better mood.
I think Im in burnout mode. Ive been so busy this past week, I didnt plan anything w/anyone this weekend. No friends, no Mostovic (he was busy anyway), no one. I had hoped to just hang out and socialize today but the weather changed and its all rainy & muggy. So much for that idea. My schedule next week is shaping up to be even worse. Not only do I have several labor meetings planned at work, Ive taken on my next to last trainee in remedial for a week.
She was not doing so well at the end of her rotations. I pleaded her case and theyve given her to me for one week. My goal is to raise her competency level enough to warrant continued remedial training. Otherwise, she gets the boot. It is sorta her own fault. She waited too long before complaining that shed had problems w/her previous trainers. I think she was hoping to sit w/me on her own time but I had my own trainee to work with. So, in an effort to get her up to speed, Ive agreed to give up an hour out of my own time every day before work and drill her on problem areas. No pressure right?
My trainee got released today. She has been doing exceptionally well this week. She had several good emergencies and handled all w/only minor assists from me. Wahoo!
Of course, the bad news is my extra hour of overtime everyday stops. Not a bad trade off.
I frelling hate taxes!
Leave it to bureaucracy to make something that should be simple, incredibly difficult. I’ll never understand why they don’t just take what you owe out of your check the first time. Then, you would only need to file when and if you had credits, deductions, changes in income, etc. If you make the same amount every year w/o fail, there is no reason to have to ‘guesstimate’ every year. It’s not like the IRS doesn’t know what I make already.
I filed my taxes w/just 30 minutes to spare last night. I had a busy day of training at work so it only served to aggrevate my mood. I normally claim just enough every year so I end up owing a little or getting a little back. However, the last two years the owe amount has been getting higher. Since nothing on my end has changed, I can only assume it is because of changes in the tax laws. *Thank you once again for fucking me Dubya – At least you could use a little lube*
I do have some good news. I didn’t know I could deduct my work for charities as the IRS only offers “noncash” deductions in the form of real property. Well, it never dawned on me until recently that the work I am providing for the BCC is a “real property”. It is digital but still a physical object. If the freaking recording industry devils can sue people for copyright infringements for music then I sure as hell can claim my work as a deduction. So, for the first time in 3 years, I am getting roughly $500.00 back.
The bad news is I owe California roughly $450.00. I’m still ahead $50.0o bucks so I shouldn’t complain. I spent $30.00 of that e-filing my state return. I used to have to pay for both but this year a lot of the online sites offer free federal turns to everyone. I stuck w/H&R Block’s services as I’ve used them in the past. It was a good thing too as part of my state deductions were based on how much I paid last year. I couldn’t remember but H&R had it on file and imported the data for me seamlessly. This one single item was the saving grace of my mood last night.
I had an opportunity to go out w/Mostovic last night but I was in such a mood I didn’t think I’d be much fun. He went out w/the gang from the BCC. I really wanted to go but I know how I can get sometimes.
My mood is better today but still a bit fowl. I went to bed early but proceeded to wake up at 2:30am and spend 2 1/2 hours watching tivo’d shows. I finally crawled back in the sack around 5:00am.
Don’t you hate those annoying little tags they insert into new undies? “Inspected by #11” or “#7 approved”. *just a rambling thought that settled into the spinwheel that is my brain.*
Yesterday was the first day w/the new trainee. I snagged this lovely shot of us on channel (radio). She is in her final rotation. That means at the end of the next 4 weeks she either gets released into solo capacity as a dispatcher or terminated.
My first impression: she has a good foundation but hasn’t really had the hardcore training she needs. Not trying to toot my own horn, I am a fantastic trainer. And I say this only because it takes a separate talent to teach someone a new skill. There are plenty of dispatchers who are excellent at what they do. However, very few have the real skills to teach what they know to others effectively. I have this skill in spades it seems. (Go figure, I almost became a teacher)
J and I have something in common in that we ‘play for the same team’. If you don’t know what that means, you should read my profile again. 😉 That doesn’t really make a difference in her training to me. I mention it only because she is the first “team member” I’ve trained.
I hate Monday’s. Especially after having such a great weekend. However, Monday has arrived and with it comes responsibility. blech!
I did manage to drag my lazy carcass into the gym only to remember halfway thru it I had a Union meeting today and was late. So mid work out (triceps) I had to break and head to work. The meeting went well w/the exception of one Supervisor who only focuses on his needs. Naturally, he is applying to fill the empty managers position. *but I’m not bitter*
Work was uneventful today. Boring if such a thing were possible.
The feeling of enjoyment from the weekend is still w/me. Which is odd as work usually zaps it right out of me. I just had such a relaxing weekend goofing and blogging w/mostovic that I’m in glow mode. *giggle* Norm snapped this shot of us blogging together in the Castro.
Great Pic, thanks N!
I found out yesterday the manager I have so much trouble with has gone on vacation for two weeks.
Karma is a wonderful thing!
I had an incredibly hard call at work today. The type of call that reminds me how brutal we can be as a species. If you know me, you know I am an optimistic person. Always have been. I live to see the best in people. It is calls like today’s that shake my faith in that belief.
219 is our code for stabbing victim. A woman called telling me her boyfriend had a psychotic break and stabbed her. What I didn’t know is that he had stabbed her 5 times in the chest and side. I normally don’t take calls very hard as I have a pretty thick skin. Being in the biz, you develop a knack for shrugging it off as a defense mechanism.
That said, there is a time between sending the help and when the help arrives that you are left in a sort of limbo zone. This zone can be a few seconds or up to a minute depending on what else is going on. It is in these moments when the helplessness overwhelms you…knowing help is on the way and powerless to do anything until they arrive. Moments when the caller on the line lays all their hopes on you to save their life.
Today was such a call. This woman was crying out to me to not let her die. I stayed calm and did my best to keep her calm and reassure her help was on the way. She was brave under the circumstances, remained relatively calm, and stayed w/me the whole time. The entire call lasted 10 minutes but that 10 minutes was like 10 hours. Then to hear the police struggle w/her deranged boyfriend in the background only aggrevated a very intense situation.
No matter how hardened I get from taking these types of calls, I find I can’t shut all the emotions out. I’ll probably nevery hear from her again. But, I don’t need to. I can sleep good tonight knowing I did the best I could w/o fail. If she dies, my conscience remains clear.
Today is the last straw! I’m updatinig my resume and starting to look for new work. I love my job but the BS is so deep I’m getting out before I lose it.
I’m so upset at the moment, I could spit nails. W/o rehashing it at this moment, it was significant enough to make me tell a manager to go to hell right in front of everyone.
So if you know anyone who needs a exec. level assistant or project manager, drop me a line!
I love my job but the constant petty harassment from our management staff is taking its toll on me. I joined the Union to help reform the problem but I just don’t know if I can last that long. The constant daily petty harassment is slowly nawing away my stamina.
We are entrusted with answering emergency life and death calls on a daily basis yet somehow we can’t be trusted for anything else. Management for our building loves to try and control our social behaviors with every rule imagineable. They actively seek out people for the tiniest infraction regardless of whether said person is actually plugged in doing their job. And don’t get me wrong, we need rules to keep order and professionalism. However, when someone is doing their job, LEAVE THEM ALONE!
For anyone not in the know, I work for the Police/Fire dept under th City & County. That means I’m a civil servant. That also means I can’t be terminated by the whim of a managed. I can criticize all I want. Not to mention, if they fired me, I’d park my trailer house (or someone’s) right in front and have every news station in the 9 bay area counties broadcasting my drama on the 6:00 news.
But I’m not bitter.