Loss

A retired coworker passed away this week. We found out yesterday. She gave 52 years of her life to public service. You read that right, 52 years!

She was an icon of sorts. You either liked her or hated her.There was usually no in between. I sill can’t get over how long she worked. Fifty two years! I’m just in awe of that. She started 5 years before I was born. I can barely imagine working the 30 I need to retire at full benfit.

She could be a pain in the ass a times as she was a bit of a micro-manager. That said, she was also a kind caring person. She would give you the shirt of her back if she thought you needed it. So while she would drive many of us nuts at times, we still liked her. I adored her. And while I would join in at times poking fun at her, I did so in the spirit of affection. Honestly, after 52 years of service she could do whatever the hell she wanted IMO. lol

I never told many people this but she gave me the down payment for my first motorcycle. I’d been with the dept barely two years at the time. She had overheard me talking to a classmate that I was struggling to come up with the money needed.1 I discovered a check tucked into my laptop bag later that night with a note telling me not to rush to pay her back. I had already bought the bike but had stretched myself beyond the breaking point. The purchase was an impulse buy. And while I didn’t regret it, her offer saved me from a very unpleasant conversation with my landlord at the time. I busted my hump working overtime to make sure I paid her back in just a few months. I never forgot her generousity.

We didn’t always get along so well. But we always seemed to get passed any hard feelings. Knowing her the way I did, I just couldn’t bring myself to hate her when she drove me crazy at work. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise I took her death a little hard. I was a bit surprised at how upset I got. She had not been in the best health lately so we all sort of knew it was on the horizon eventually. I guess when you think of someone as an institution unto themselves it is easy to over look their mortality.

Judy, you will not be forgotten. You made your mark on us and it won’t soon fade.




  1. My credit wasn’t the greatest back then and we made a lot less in salary. []

Bias

One of the main reasons I’ve grown to loathe Facebook most days is the growing bias. Selective bias is slowly replacing our idea of logical reasoning. Just pick practically any topic and scroll thru your own friends list. You might be surprised it is closer to home than you think.

When social media came along, I just knew it was going to be a unifying force in the world. I was so excited and hopeful. Sadly, all it has done is allow folks to selectively reinforce their own biases. More and more every day you see people who favor bias over truth, honesty, or any sense of integrity. Talk about an unexpected outcome. hehehe In the past, the rules (and manners) of social interactions helped curb outrageous ideas, conspiracies, and all round nutjobs. they were confined to the fringe where they belong. Now can reach out to others that with like ideas with just the click of a button. This has emboldened them and we see many ideas and concepts considered absolutely insane break into the national consciousness.1

I don’t blame social media so much as our own failings. Our technology has outpaced our ethical ability to keep up with it. Our social media outlets have changed the world, just not necessarily for the better IMO. Oh don’t get me wrong, they do some good. You see fundraisers, goFundMe pages, outreach, etc. Local tragedies can grab national even global attention at times. But I find myself pondering whether the good it does outshines the harm? Sadly, I am beginning to think it doesn’t. The level of vitriol and toxicity is so very disheartening. After all my attempts to ditch FB in the past, this is the one that is slowly pushing me further and further away.

I wish I could say it was mainstream stuff and not local communities. Sadly, no. Be it NextDoor, FB, twitter, etc. It is all becoming one toxic hole of spite, triggers, and/or attempts to shame each other. It gives new meaning to the idea of mob-mentality. People are tried and convicted based on click-bait articles, regardless of the lack of details. We are seeing the fallout even within our own LGBTI umbrella. We find allies fighting each other over the tiniest slights or misunderstandings. Conversations are polarizing discussions of who is right or ‘more wrong’.

There are times where I just kick myself for even bothering to try to point out distinctions. Our biases and indifference to others are forcing us into a sort of devolution of sorts. For myself, I can only control my actions. I continue to strive to bring things into my life that enrich it and avoid those that stain it. Social media is falling into the latter category more and more lately.




  1. Flat-Earthers, Anti-vaxxers, Holocust deniers, etc []

Blood Draw

Who knew getting your blood drawn could make you feel so much better!? As previously mentioned a while back, my blood has gotten too thick as of late. The thickness was leading to high blood pressure and was causing my heart to work harder.

I finally got around to scheduling the appointment and what a difference it made. I’d sort of settled into a routine of taking a low-dose BP med every morning to keep myself from getting throbbing headaches. However, by bedtime it would be back to a dull throb which often interfered with my ability to fall asleep at night. I guess I hadn’t realized how much it impacted me. I mean it did progress slowly so it sort of snuck up on me. The first couple nights afterwards were lovely, no throbbing, no discomfort, no weird sensations. Lovely.

I’ll probably have to start going on a regular basis. Depending on how quickly it builds back up, I could need a treatment every 3 to 6 months. I can just barely feel the tension/pressure now. The lady at the blood bank was raving at how great my blood looked. She kept ‘tsk tsking’ about how it was such a waste to throw it away. I’m not sure why but I was tickled by it.

Having brought it up in conversation a few times in the past couple months, I discovered the procedure is way more common than I realized. I had several friends who do or have done it. The blood bank has whole blocks of appointments they set aside just for this type of service. Who knew?

Filler

So that tat is coming along nicely!  I finished the shading this past Friday.

Flexing the ink

Latest look. 

The red is not color but irritation from the needle.  That will eventually fade into gray shading.  The bands are now officially done.  Next on the agenda is color!  And I still haven’t ironed’em out yet.  I leaning heavily toward blue and red in the big one but haven’t decided the two smaller ones.  I’m thinking of green for sure but the rest is a guess at the moment.  Yellow and orange are not my favorite colors and they don’t really show up well in tattoos.  Purple is an idea but it tends to be very dark and blends too much with black.  You can see from my back tattoo (below) the dangers of putting like colors too close together.

Tattoo

 

Basically, I want the colors to really stand out.  Luke suggested I get some magic markers and play around with colors until I find what I like.  A good idea.  Of course, there are also shades of colors vs primaries too.  I could do shades of blue and red on each one.  The wheels are turning…suggestions?

Shading done

 

Ok, I couldn’t help showing off one more pic.  I totally love it!  The idea of what I wanted is slowly coming to life and I can’t wait for the final product.   I have a sneaky suspicion I’ll be adding more to it though.  The inside shoulder looks a tad bare and begs for either another strand or something to compliment the strand look.  The inside I’m not overly worried about as you almost never see it (and it hurts like a bitch to ink). 

So whaddya think?

New Look?

I’m tinkering with a new theme. Whaddya think? Yes, I know the links on the side are dead at the moment. If I can add the header images back and update the sidepage tabs I might just keep it.

OH, and if you use an openid login, please try it and see if it works.

*update – people seem to be having trouble with the comments AND the design so back to the old one for now.*

Changing Schedule

So in anticipation of my changing schedule,1 I’m already altering my gym routine.  The last time I was on a 4-10 shift, I really struggled to keep up with a consistent work-out schedule.  I’m hoping to prevent that this time around.  Instead of working muscle groups, I’ll work 1 primary muscle a day (along w/supporting muscles).  I’ll also increase the frequency of days in the gym to make up for the shorter workouts.  I’m hoping these two changes will help me cope with the lack of free time on work days.  *crossed fingers*

For all my setbacks this year, I have done a decent job of keeping to a consistent schedule.  The motorcycle accident set me way back but I managed to bounce back.  The one good thing from the accident is I managed to get myself into doing more cardio.  It has paid off as I’m a tad leaner than I’ve been in about 8 years.2

And for all my bitchin’, I am looking forward to the 3-day weekends again.  Especially, since I’ll have Fri/Sat/Sunday’s off.  It is a premium slot and I am grateful I could pull it.  I’m thinking Friday’s will by errand days.  Typical shit.  Lunches for the next week, chores around the house, beat off, blah blah blah…


  1. It changes the weekend of the 10th.
  2. Nothing major but I certainly don’t mind the 15 missing lbs

Xmas

I’m hoping everyone had a good Christmas today.  Or, happy holiday, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or whatever floats your boat.  Be grateful you are alive and have a roof over your head.  For many this year, things are a bit blue with the economy so bad.  And while there is obviously hope for the future, it is hard to be optimistic when you aren’t sure where you next meal might come from.  If you are reading this, I’m sending you well wishes and warm fuzzy feelings. 

My roomies idea, I swear!

Beyond a very peculiar occurrence yesterday morning it was a pretty uneventful day.  The day started with a flurry of text messages from friends and family exchanging holiday wishes.  Knowing the gym was closed, I laid my ass in bed until the desire for food finally forced me outdoors. 

While I’m walking down to the ‘hood to get some grub, I did have a very odd experience.  I’m crossing at the crosswalk when a giant suburban pulls up, the guy whistles and asks directions to the nearest hospital.  Being a typical control freak, I couldn’t just answer. lol  I asked what the emergency was as it might change his destination.1  He seemed very reticent so I volunteered that I was an EMT.  At that point, his face beamed and he spilled his guts in a flurry of parental worry.  It seems his 20 year old daughter (sitting in the back) was experiencing…wait for it…wait for it….are you ready…anal bleeding.  OH yes, you read it right.  I admit I was a little surprised.  Of course, I had very negative thoughts but seeing his whole family piled in with him and no signs of emotional distress, any ideas of foul play quickly evaporated.  I spoke to the young lady and discussed the problem.  She was more embarrassed than anything, not that I blame her.  Anyway, after some questions and more assurances, I was confident she wasn’t in immediate danger and directed them on their way.  I walked away almost laughing at the oddity of the situation.  Seriously, what are the odds?  I was still giggling as I woofed down my lunch and headed back home to get ready for work.

And how was your holiday?


  1. Pediatrics, cardiac, burns, blah blah blah…