You Wanna Stick That Where?

Well, since so many of you actually do read on weekends, I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The new roomie is all moved in. I sorta neglected to mention he has done porn in the past. I’ve known him so long I think I tend to subconsciously tune that part of his life out. *g* He is like a ‘sista’ to me so the thought of him naked isn’t exactly appealing. I’m white trash but lesbian sex is just revolting. LOLOL (j/k of course) For the record, he does have a rather manly sexy look. I wouldn’t touch him to scratch him.
🙂

On the way to do laundry today, I was cornered by one of my neighbors. A neighbor who normally maintains an aloofness during our brief interactions. Our conversation went something like this…

Neighbor: Hi Moby, How you doing?
Me: I’m doing fine

Neighbor: I noticed your new roommate moved in last night. Can I ask you something?
Me: Yeah, he is in, fire away.

(Insert look of confusion on how to phrase his next words)
Neighbor: Does your roommate do porn?
Me: Uh, yeah he has in the past, why?

Neighbor: OMG! Is he *** *****?
Me: Yeah, I think that’s right.

(very excited now)
Neighbor: Can you introduce us? I’m his biggest fan. I would be in your debt if you could arrange it.
Me: Uh…well, sure. Can I finish my laundry first?

(frown of disappointment)
Neighbor: Oh, of course. Here is my home # and my cell. Call me when you are done.
Me: Ok, well good to see you.

Neighbor: Oh yeah, good to see you too. You will call right? When you are done?
Me: Yes, I’ll give you a shout.

Lord! What have I got myself into?

11 thoughts on “You Wanna Stick That Where?”

  1. If you don’t mind what does the rommie do now? You say porn is in the past. As for not touching him perhaps he would want to touch you….

    As for the meet and greet you could have an open house so your neighbors could meet him or just tell them to say Hi to him as they see him around.

  2. Now Moby,
    Are you feeling a bit used about right now? hehehe!

    Well at least you know he keeps an eye on your place for all the comings and goings. He wouldn’t be one of those noisy neighbors across from your living room window that loves to peer in, would he? Heaven forbid! If he is, keep those blinds closed. Then again he may be eternally indebted to you. 😉

  3. OK that is just plain creepy.

    The neighbour bit not the porn bit.

    I once dated a guy, it didn’t work out. He disappeared, didn’t hear from him and then one night I was at the bar and a friend comes up to me and points at the porn TV and says, “hey isn’t that the guy you were dating last summer?”

    Yup, it sure was!

  4. (ring, ring) “Hello? No, this is Moby. What? Oh, yes he has an opening on Tuesday. Would you like me to pencil you in?”

    Heh, heh. Welcome to your new job, personal assistant to the new roommate. 😉

  5. I once got dumped by a guy after I found out he had been cheating on me. He moved out and moved in with his new fella – with a mutual friend.
    It was so satisfying finding out that yes, this new fella was in porn and that yes, my ex- didn’t know.

    Apparently he’s all on his own now… bless.

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