I haven’t mentioned TFA much lately. Well, things are going well. As I mentioned, he is coming up on the 22nd to spend 4 days with me. Besides the non-stop sex we’ll be having, it will also give us a chance to see how we interact on a day-to-day basis.
We crossed a hurdle of sorts this past week. He has been very guarded about his emotions and feelings toward me. Don’t get me wrong, when we are together I see what he is feeling on his face. I’ve known all along how he feels however, this week he finally said it out loud. One, he admitted he has feelings for me and two, he said he missed me. Of course, I melted like butter. LOL (I know, don’t go all mushy on ya. hehehe.) It has been awhile since I felt this way so pardon me for basking in the glow.
The weird part is now I’m scared one. Before, when I wasn’t really sure where things were headed I wasn’t. After our rough start, I guess I kept half expecting he’d change his mind and fly away (pun intended). Now that he has admitted his feelings to himself and me, I find that I’m nervous. It took me almost 2 years to fully come to terms with the breakup with my ex. And several bungled attempts since, I find myself wondering if I’m ready. The one good thing about the distance between us is it prevents me from coming on too strong. I have to laugh here. I know myself pretty well now. I can be an intense mother fucker when I totally let go. I also know for a fact if I had pushed him, TFA and I would not be on this path right now. The weird part. I haven’t felt the need to push him. I’ve said from the beginning I want it to be right between us for the right reasons. To my delight, events have conspired to just that end so far.
Yeah, I’m scared. Yeah, I’m nervous. Am I so foolish as to turn my back on the opportunity. Hell to the no! If you’ve learned anything about me in the last 3 years, you know I don’t pass up an opportunity. Scared or not, I’m not about to back out. I’ve worked hard at being the type of man I’d like to date. Now that I’ve found one I would like to date, it is time to put up or shut up!
Switching gears for a moment. Everyone keeps asking for a picture. Yes, I’ll try and get some this coming week to share. No, not THAT kind. Several of you have been chopping at the bit to see “my type”. Oh, and I created a new sub-category under dating to track things with TFA.
Wish me luck? Or am I just crazy?