Category: drama

Meaning

After my last dating rant, I was reminded of something I used to tell Apple guy. It was awhile after we’d split and he’d started dating other guys. He would get frustrated because no matter what he told said guy, they always seemed to end up wanting more. Basically I told him, “no matter what you say, actions speak louder than words. When you spend quality intimate time with someone, they are prone to getting the wrong idea.” 

When I look back at my previous dates with the 2nd guy, I broke my own rule. lol As mentioned, I’d told the guy several times that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. We discussed it openly and I even said if it came down to it I’d prefer him as a friend first. But, we’d also spent so quality intimate time together. [1]Several times actually… hehehe So in a round about way, I can sort of see how he might have gotten the wrong idea. Of course, he could have handled it a lot better and “communicated” with me instead of getting pissy and breaking off contact.

The irony here was it all started because we were having issues with both of us being mostly top. [2]We actually flipped for each other. Yes, you read it right, I gave it up. lol He did much better than I did though. We’d also discussed the option of finding a willing third to accommodate our situation. This is where he got jealous. I’d found a willing third and was expressing that he would not ‘work out.’ This is primarily why I got so frustrated with him for his behavior.

Anyway, next time I’ll have to make sure to not break my own rule and keep the boundaries more defined I guess.

References

References
↑1 Several times actually… hehehe
↑2 We actually flipped for each other. Yes, you read it right, I gave it up. lol He did much better than I did though.

Banned

I’m slipping this rant into the scheduled posts. Only because it was time-relevant. lol

I didn’t sleep well last night at all. I have no idea why but I kept waking  up like every hour on the hour. I must have worn Cooper out as well because he slept right up till I crawled out of bed at 10:30 today. Usually, he is up and fidgeting and moving around the bedroom out of boredom. lol I called off to work today. I’m a bit cranky and feeling tired. After I’ve had some food in me, I’m gonna try to take a nice nap.

In other news, the proposed ban on public nudity here is scheduled to be voted on today. I’m at Cove cafe right now and several tables are discussing it. Every table had pretty much the same theme, “why do they have to force it on everyone?” Ironic, considering it was mostly locals doing the complaining. As mentioned, the issue really isn’t about nudity anymore IMO. Instead, it’s about people being forced to endure behavior they don’t like. That is the real crutch of the issue. SF has coexisted peacefully with the real nudists here for decades. Oh they get a few random complaints but nothing major. It’s known and even expected at some of the parks, beaches, bars, and various events here. It is tolerated well for the simple reason people who didn’t want to see it could avoid it. It wasn’t forced on you. With the exhibitionists setting up shop in the plaza smack dab in the middle of the neighborhood, people no longer felt it could be avoided. And that is when the complaints started rolling in, in earnest.

The issue has been conflated and twisted so much by both sides it borders on the ridiculous. Not to mention, something so silly  & foolish has divided the community in many aspects. Not that I’m surprised, good or bad, SF always tends to be controversial. And it won’t be over today unfortunately. I read the ban is being challenged in court as a violation of freedom of speech. I say good luck with that. You’d have to prove some sort of harm for it to pass muster. And considering it only covers public spaces, I find it a stretch to claim it somehow restricts people but whatev. I’ll be glad when it’s over so we can all move on to bigger more important issues.

Bizarre

I had the most bizarre encounter the other day. It was truly a noggin-scratcher. This is a bit of an adult rant so be warned. Keep in mind, I’m skipping some detail and including others that are trivial but help to paint the overall picture.

There is this guy that moved to SF a couple years back. I’d seen him around and thought he was very handsome. Actually, I thought he was HOT! lol Turns out he started doing porn and dancing (in bars) not long after he arrived. [1]No, I’m giving out his name. He lives here and I have no desire to be mean. It didn’t bother me as I see nothing wrong w/porn. It did raise a little bit of a red flag but honestly, most of my interest was of the carnal nature anyway. I’m not looking for anything serious right now. So we had dinner one night and I was pleasantly surprised at how disarmingly charming he was. While not overly intellectual, he seemed very genuine, which is a quality I like very much.

Skipping the irrelevant details, he asks to come over one night after he got off a dancing gig. I said yes, he shows up and is obviously a bit intoxicated. Thinking he just needs to crash, I offered him my couch. He asked if he could sleep in my bed w/me. Knowing he was in no shape for nookie, I figured we’d cuddle and pick up in the morning.

Two or three hours into sleep, he wakes me up for some fun. Still knowing he wasn’t prepared for certain things, I settled for giving him some licky-licky, no sticky-sticky. And after seeing him dance, I wasn’t sure he’d be that great at it anyway. You get my drift. lol We finish, everyone seems happy, and I begin to drift off to sleep again. Maybe 20 mins later he goes to the bathroom.

And here is where the bizarre comes in. He is gone for like 10-15mins. He finally comes back and I asked if he is ok. He says no and that he is gonna leave. I’m like ok. I get up to turn the light on and help him out. He is sort of mumbling under his breath and it becomes apparent he is upset. I asked if something was wrong. He starts making a lot of what would be inflammatory statements if they were at all relatable to me. He leaves and spends the next 20-30 minutes texting me a lot of gibberish and insults. I wasn’t upset as much as confused. We’d had a great time and now suddenly he is upset and absolutely refused to tell me why. After asking repeatedly why he was upset, I finally gave up. I even asked if he was upset that we had messed around. [2]Even though he instigated it. He gave the impression that wasn’t it so I have no idea what set him off. I wished him a good life and left it that.

All of my friends think he must have been doing drugs in the bathroom, being gone so long. There was no mess to clean up and he didn’t get in the shower so I doubt he was ‘cleaning.‘ I don’t know what he did or why he suddenly got upset. In a word, it was bizarre. A couple friends asked, ‘what did I expect considering he was in porn?‘ I don’t like that. While it certainly does raise concerns, doing porn doesn’t make someone less of a person. Regardless, it’s over now. I harbor no ill-will toward him. If it was drug-related I hope he eventually gets the help he needs.

References

References
↑1 No, I’m giving out his name. He lives here and I have no desire to be mean.
↑2 Even though he instigated it.

Suffer

I’m not sure who suffered more today, me or Cooper. Between is non-stop panting and my throbbing migraine, today was an all around waste. Actually, I think he suffered a tad more than I did. I felt a migraine coming on bright and early. That horrible feeling behind your nose/eyes that leads to a full on splitting headache. For some odd reason it sort of died off after only a few hours. Usually when they hit me, they last a couple days. [1]it usually hits and then slowly goes away

Cooper on the other hand really struggled. It got up to 90° today and the heat got to him. Having no central air, I’m sure it was slightly hotter in the apt. Even with all the windows open and the fans going full blast, it was hot. I’ve mentioned before Cooper doesn’t tolerate hot weather well. Well today was probably the hottest yet since we rescued him and he was not amused. After his mid-day walk he couldn’t cool down and was starting to show signs of distress. Usually, I just give him an ice cube to chew on here and there and he is fine. Today, it didn’t really help. I finally had to take him out back and hose him off. This cooled him down enough he could cope w/being in the apt.

Tomorrow is already forecasted to be back down in the high 70’s so I expect he’ll be fine. I had figured we’d have to get a air cooler or portable ac unit for the few hot days here in SF. Needless to say, before winter is over I’m gonna have to break down and get one for him. I guess it is thankful I got the migraine today. Had I not, I might have gone to work and left him at home alone. I don’t even wanna think about it to be honest. Being that he is young, I don’t think it would  have killed him but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have suffered, unnecessarily at that. He was clearly anxious today and kept trying to find cool spots to cool down. [2]He has learned that if he lays in front of the fan, it’s cooler. lol  I won’t put him thru that again. Had the weather not shown to be cooler tomorrow, I would have already zipped down to Target and gotten one today. I’ll be watching the weather for the next couple weeks regardless. 

As he ages I doubt his sensitivity will get any better. But considering how healthy he has been and is so far, I am not complaining. If this is the worst I have to put up with then so be it. My little Pooper Cooper is worth it.

As for me, well I have a busy week ahead so I am hoping today is the last of my migraines for awhile. *crossed fingers*

References

References
↑1 it usually hits and then slowly goes away
↑2 He has learned that if he lays in front of the fan, it’s cooler. lol

Werk

I might have mentioned awhile back that my Union contract is up for renegotiation at work. It was actually up 2 years ago, but because of budget problems in the recent economic crisis it was rolled over 2 consecutive years.

As a preface, I make a decent wage and am grateful to be employed in such touch economic times.

In the last 3 years, I’ve given up significant chunks of raises and salary. Its going on year 4 since I’ve had a raise of any kind. This year I wasn’t overly optimistic about raises, I just didn’t want lose anything. My finances are stretched to the limit and just can’t take anymore cuts.

One of the biggest worries was our health plan contributions. My out of pocket expense would have gone from $200 to $420 a month had the proposal on the table passed. That dent alone would have caused some serious damage. I found out that proposal is off the table.

The 2nd issue was a flat out pay cut. Considering I’m already underpaid for my job classification, this was also of significant worry. Had the health plan changes and a pay-cut passed, I would have had to move out of San Francisco. I honestly don’t know how people who don’t make as much as I do make it.

Anyway, the two big issues are off the table. There is a dispute over my dept’s lunch hour and a raise that we’ve deferred twice now. Either way, I’m just happy to not have to move out of SF. If I ended up having to move, I wasn’t even sure I would have stayed in California. Thankfully, that is a decision I do not have to make now. I love living here but I have no intention of living in an area where I can’t live decent.

On a side rant, I can’t remember if I mentioned it but I’m still up for a promotion. The first two slots were filled by coworkers on the list above me. There is still a position coming up that will have to be filled. I have no idea when it will come to fruition.

That Way

Apparently, the gay blogosphere has erupted in another faux scandal because some ‘actor’, Logan McCree, just came out as bi instead of full on gay. My first thought is ‘why is this news?’ Then I think on how much money the porn industry makes. lolol

I didn’t know who he was so did a quick google search. [1]with the safety filter turned off Let me just say, if he is bi, mercy-me he must be one-fine actor! The few clips I saw showed someone who was definitely into his work. lol Whether he is really bi or not is a pointless argument IMHO. Kinsey pretty much proved sexuality runs the gambit from polar straight on one end to polar gay on the other. Why must we (on both sides of the fence) continually try to label everyone as one or the other.

Looking beyond that we get to the why of it. In one camp, you have the folks who insist he is lying for some ulterior reason. We’ll probably never know for sure because the only person who’ll ever know is Logan. That said, the only reason I could really see for lying would be the whole “gay for pay” idea that keeps getting rammed down our throats these days. It seems like he is getting plenty (of work) so not too sure there. But as nauseating as it sounds, maybe he thinks he’ll be able to demand more money. A sad testament if that’s his reason. [2]I seem to remember reading recently about some other porny boy who “went straight” but I got the impression he was lying to save face in the new town where he was moving.

Then you have the whole “I can’t believe it, I feel so betrayed.” folks. Let me get this straight, you feel betrayed because the image you built up in your mind of said person has been shattered? An image created of someone you only see in completely contrived scenarios? Really? My response is get over it. The reality is almost never the same as the image. Living in SF, I can tell you from experience they are almost never like the ‘purdy moving pictures.’ And referring back to the whole gay for pay crap, maybe its so prevalent in the industry now he didn’t see the harm in admitting his big secret? Are you seriously going to stop watching him now because he likes a little V with his P&A?

Frankly, I could care less as long as he isn’t running around being hypocritical or hurting others. Being as I don’t know the nitty gritty, I’ll save my moral indignation for more important subjects. In the end, I’ve always been a big proponent of honesty. If he is coming clean, so to speak, good for him. If not, then it will catch up to him sooner or later.

References

References
↑1 with the safety filter turned off
↑2 I seem to remember reading recently about some other porny boy who “went straight” but I got the impression he was lying to save face in the new town where he was moving.

Not So Zippy

**Update** ~ Apparently, they do pay attention to blogs and cyber “stuff”.  I got an email and a phone call from the corporate office. The guy was nice and very apologetic. He gave me a credit, which at this point I don’t care about but I appreciated the offer. The part I did care about was his genuine concern. He made a real effort to understand my problem and listen. He also gave me his personal work email for future problems.

Don’t get me wrong, all is not forgiven but at least someone is finally paying attention. The face I had to bad mouth the company in a public forum to finally get a response hasn’t escaped my notice either.

I discovered Zipcar when I first moved to SF. For those not in the know, the concept is simple. Instead of having to rent a car by the day or week, you rent by the hour. Your hourly rate includes the cost of the car, insurance, and gas. The process is also very simple. With registration, you get a card with a digital chip in it. You log online via the web or various mobile apps, sign up for an available car of your choice, show up, slide your card over the scanner, start the car and drive away.  Great idea right? It used to be.

Zipcar started out as a bright, fun, spunky little company with a novel approach to renting cars. A niche market for sure, but in a city as dense as SF one would think there is virtually no way to fail.

Where do I start with my frustration? I don’t know if its because they’ve grown too big or just plain greedy. Either way, this fun little company is ranking one step below AT&T for all time worst customer service right now in my mind. Oh yeah, you begin to feel my pain.

It all started about 2 years ago with a car that had a flat tire. I didn’t notice the flat until I hopped in the car to drive away. I made it less than a block, turned around, drove back to the spot and notified the company. Imagine my surprise when 2 weeks later I got a bill for the repair. I called, got a credit, and went on my merry way. A month later I find a suspicious charge on my bank statement. Turns out I got re-billed for the flat. Even though I went out of my way to help, because I physically drove the car before noticing the flat I got tagged with the bill. As disappointing it was, I accepted my part in the process and ate the cost. I figured one hiccup along the way was acceptable.

Sadly, things have gone from bad to worse. I’ve experienced so much frustration since then I’ve lost all faith in the company. Granted, no business model is perfect and one that depends as much on its customers as it does its employees is bound to have problems. I totally understand that. But when I do have problems, the outright lack of concern and open disdain from the employees is not acceptable. More often than not, the line employees seem more intent on putting me in my place and citing policy vs actually listening. Out of the last 10 reservations, 4 have gone smoothly.

Today, I show up to pick up my car and its not their. [1]If the car isn’t in use you can pick it up up to 14 minutes early with no extra charge. My time slot arrives, still no car. I call in to find out what’s going on. I’m already feeling annoying expecting the worst. The rep couldn’t find the car or a previous reservation. After some digging he discovers the car was taken out of service for repair and returned. Apparently not as the car is missing. After some more searching with no luck, he offers to move my reservation. Keep in mind my start time has already come and gone. He ends up moving me to another car 4 blocks away. To be fair, he did adjust my slot and gave me an hour credit. However, at this point neither of which was any consolation. I’m just plain tired of crappy to non-existent service.

I show up at the new location to find my 2nd car parked and ready. While I’m picking it up, I notice the car I was supposed to have is parked 2 slots away. Stupid me, I was considerate enough to call back and let them know where the first car was. The 2nd rep didn’t seem to comprehend. Mind you, I am pretty angry at this point and I’m being none too polite. Her stupidity only made it worse. I finally got her to understand what I was saying or at least I thought I did. As I’m preparing to end the call, she says, “ok sir, I have changed her reservation and your new drop off time is all set.”

Excuse me? No ma’am. One, I was already in my new reservation so she was flat out lying to me. Two, my slot was already adjusted so double whammy. I finally lose my temper, let loose a string of obscenities about her stupidity and hung up. I’d had it.

I’m at the point now where I’d dump them all together if there was a easier alternative. [2]Of course, if they keep this up, someone better will eventually replace them. City Car share has a footprint here but they are much smaller and don’t anywhere near the number of cars or pickup spots.

Customer service is a dying art in most companies these days and to see a company with so much potential fall so far in such a short period of time is extremely disappointing.

References

References
↑1 If the car isn’t in use you can pick it up up to 14 minutes early with no extra charge.
↑2 Of course, if they keep this up, someone better will eventually replace them.

No Vroom

So my blue beast [1]my motorcycle up and died the other day on the way to work. I’m driving along and everything just suddenly went dead. No juice, no electronics, no power, nothing. Luckily enough, I was right next to a gas station when it occurred. I pushed my baby up into the lot and started the arduous process of calling the tow, notifying work, blah blah blah.

It was a busy day so I waited over an hour for the tow. My buddy William was kind enough to drop by the bike shop and give me a ride to work. On top of it all, work was short staffed so I had to flex my hours and work till 0100 since I was late. Even worse, work was busy as all hell so my day went from shitty to shitty with a side of pooh.

Anyway, turns out the voltage regulator burned out. It controls pretty much every aspect of power flow for the bike. No voltage regulator, no vroom vroom. *sigh* The part is on order and hopefully I should have my baby back in about a week. I have an extended warranty so its all covered, thankfully. Money is tight right now so a costly repair would have been problematic.

It could have been worse. Had I been on a long ride and it died, the process would have been increasingly more problematic. Had I been on a freeway when it happened lawd only knows what might have happened. I’m just grateful my baby is alright and will be up and running soon. *whew*

References

References
↑1 my motorcycle

Friction

Its been an interesting past week, to say the least.

Apparently, I live like a bachelor, or so Apple guy tells me. Ok, ok, its true, I do tend to live a bit sparse. Growing up the way I did, I never had a lot of things and it just isn’t natural for me to focus on such things. I don’t apply myself that way often and the skill set has grown weak. This is not to imply Apple guy is shallow, just the distinction between us. If anything, he is very hands-on and tackles challenges with a determined zest. In the last few years, I’ve gotten sort of complacent on doing stuff myself. [1]Ok, lazy I admit it.  He has taken to converting my sparse boring pad into a warm inviting home. Even better, he is the king of bargain shopping! lol The man has easily saved us over a grand in expenses with his efforts.

Sadly, Apple guy and the roomie have decided they hate each other. Oh yes, its not going well at all. I thought they would overcome eventually and settle down but its obvious now, that ain’t happening. The last few days have been interesting to say the least. This has also put me in an awkward position and I’m not faring it well. No matter how I approach it, someone is gonna end up hurt.

This has also caused some friction between Apple guy and myself. Besides his expected stress at being in a new place and struggling to gain his self-reliance, the bickering between him an the roomie has made him very uneasy about the move.

The upside is he and I are still able to talk things out. Time will tell but I’m not doubting my decision so far. I know he gets frustrated with me at times but at the end of the day, he still knows I love him and am willing to work on it.

Say a prayer for me to [insert deity of choice here], would ya?

References

References
↑1 Ok, lazy I admit it.

Work, Work, Work

The irony of my job is most of my stress load comes from my non-work related Union duties. As the Chief Steward for our Chapter, I have become so integrated into the process that several Managers often come to me in advance of employee discipline to avoid mistakes and having to re-do their work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bragging at all. I’m just tenacious and very methodical when it comes to such things. While I may be technically on one side of the fence, so to speak, I am also very fair-minded and am never deliberately contentious. My work ethic has spilled over onto their side and they trust me. They know I have the employee’s best interest at heart but I’m also not about getting them a free ride. My golden rule is the punishment should fit the incident and the incident should warrant discipline.

Sadly, most of the stress has come from dealing with politics within my own ranks as of late. We recently held Chapter elections and some of the ousted individuals have been deliberately attempting to cause harm. [1]On a side note, I ran uncontested primarily because no one wanted to take on the workload. lol  I hate dealing with such things as I am not a deceitful person by nature. It is not my style to confuse and obfuscate the issues thru double talk and back and forth sides. But, I do believe in standing up for those who are being slighted or libeled regardless of who I alienate.

I absolutely hate dealing with such petty crap. A time when we are fighting to keep our jobs and income, we should be focused on common goals. We should not be fighting amongst ourselves with he said/she said crap.

References

References
↑1 On a side note, I ran uncontested primarily because no one wanted to take on the workload. lol