Me Man, You Woman…oomf oomf!

Thanks to Johnny is a Man for the fantastic link to this post. By far, one of the most eloquent statements I’ve ever read. While a bit on the derogatory side, it summed up a huge chunk of how I feel about internalized homophobia in our community.

This Rocco queen is pissing me off. He’s currently trotting out little more than a kernal of experience (along with several dollops of resentment towards the gay community) as evidence supporting the same tired, warmed-over horseshit about how uppity gays who get bashed were really asking for it because they weren’t walking around in a constant state of siege.

Basically he’s saying that gays have gotten uppity, let their guard down, and should simply accept the fact that if they behave too much like “fags,” they shouldn’t be surprised when they get bashed. And how reassuring an argument it is that all you need to do to prevent getting bashed is butch it up, and if you can’t or won’t conform to the macho code, tough shit.

Having heard the issue of masculinity beaten to and fro like an old dog it’s refreshing to see a better perspective. More and more we (as gays) are beginning to see beyond the shallow confines of the implied prerequisites of being a “man” in this country.

Man Smells or Stank?

I guess I’m on a bitch fest this week.

Something I’ve noticed while living here. It is one of the few things that annoys me about SF. There is this trend it seems of guys being into ‘pits, man smells, etc.’ While I love a a fresh pit, I’ve discovered most of these folks are referring to not bathing. I’m not a big cologne person. It is just not conducive to the climate here to wear lots of cologne. That said, I bath often, use a low smell deodorant, and the rest is el natural. I’ll be the first to admit I love the smell of a guy after a fresh workout and he is all sweaty. I think many (I’m guessing) will agree it is a turnon. However, that same smell tainted by bacteria and stale sweat four days later is NOT.

I bring it up because I’m standing in Daddybucks yesterday waiting my turn for the restroom. This tiny old leathery wrinkled looking thing comes saddling up next to me in line. Forgetting for a moment, he is eyeing me up/down as if I’m to be his next meal, I’m all for niceties. We exchanged “hello, great day out, blah blah blah” and then the stench of him hit me. OMG! I literally thought I was gonna puke. This guy was as ripe as they come. I scooted away to get myself out of his range. Needless to say it didn’t work. Thank the fates I was next in line and quickly escaped.

Yesterday wasn’t my first encounter w/said phenomena however, it got me to wondering how the hell do people get stuck on quirks like this?

Beautiful Day in The Neighborhood

Golden Gate Bridge
It is a beautiful day here in the great SF. I’m almost good as new health wise and I’m plugged in here at work. The sun is out, it is warm and the world is rolling by at a nice steady pace. If I may, I’d like to interject some routine drivel.

First, even if you do have the right-of-way, never step in front of a moving muni coach thinking it will stop. Here is a clue. They may call it a LRV (light rail vehicle) but it is by no means light. Those buggers weigh in excess of 20 tons. With this in mind, they do not stop on a dime. DUH!

Second, when your driving down the freeway and your vehicle is on fire. It is considered wise to pull over and exit the vehicle. Just a thought.

*getting off the high horse*

I’m almost back to normal. I’m headed back to the gym tomorrow. OY and do I miss it. I feel so flabby. With the family drama and then getting sick it has been just over two weeks since my last workout. To commemorate the occasion, I’m starting a new workout routine. The only reason I mention this is I’m planning on adding links regarding m routines to the website once I get the flash & php crap figured out. Leave it to me to pick one of the most difficult designs to incorporate.

My Place or Yours?

I ran into a casual friend the other day. I clarify casual here as we know each other but not very well. During the conversation it comes out that he has a bf. But the odd part is they’ve been together 12 years but still live apart. So of course, I asked him, “How exactly does that work?” His reply, “well, I am a very independent person and I like my own space. He spends a lot time at my house but has his own place when we have a fight.

Ok, my interpretation…sounds like an expensive way to have a cooling off period. But, Hey! if it works for them, who am I to judge. So then I asked, “So I assume you have an open relationship?” His reply, “well, that is a complicated question.” *ding ding, ding ding, we have a winner Johnny* Now we come to the heart of the matter.

By this point, I have several preconceived notions. After prodding & poking several times, the real gist of their relationship becomes clear. They keep separate places so “extra-curricular” activities are private and there is no jealousy issues. For purpose of staying on topic, I’m not touching that one. *g*

Now on to my two cents. I don’t think I could have a serious LTR with a person who wasn’t living w/me. I’m not talking about the initial “getting to know each other part” either. Moving in w/someone is a big step. You definitely need to spend significant time together before you make the leap. I’m referring to two people who have made a commitment to each other as life partners. Part of the reason I yearn for a partner is intimacy. After that comes companionship. Neither of which would be easily accomplished by living apart. Last but not always least, when I sport a woody in the middle of the night, I wanna be able to roll over and take care of it! How is that accomplished by living apart?

I can see it now….

*telephone ringing*

….hello? hey hon, its 3:00 in the morning, anything wrong?
(talking from phone)
Oh, you’re horny? Well why don’t you come over?
(more talking)
No, I don’t feel like driving over, why don’t you come here?
Ok, uh-huh.
(yet more talking)
Well, I still don’t feel like it.
(yelling in the phone now)
Well, if you @#$%! lived here, we wouldn’t have this problem now would we?
*hang up*

*giggle* That would SOOOO be something I’d do.

Crazy – Quiz

So I’m just home from being a very bad boy (don’t ask) and I’m catching up on my blogrolling. I stopped by Roblog and discover his quiz. So I skip on over and take one myself. Here’s where I rated.

You are a SECF –Sober Emotional Constructive Follower.
This makes you a Hippie
You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you’ve made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.
You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don’t get mad, you get even.

Please don’t get even with this web site. Of the 90117 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 10.4% are this type.

A good chunk of it is dead on but part if it is off. The title line is pretty close. I’ve always been odd this way. I tend to follow when I’m not sure of myself. Once I am, I take over and lead all the way. The first sentence is dead on me. The second sentence is close. I tend to be confident in my “rightness” until proven otherwise. Once you prove me wrong or in error, I will acquiesce. The third sentence is dead on except for the chaste part. Boy, they couldn’t have been more wrong! lololol The next two sentences are pretty accurate up until the massive mean streak. I do have a mean streak but by no means massive and I rarely get even. Closer to the mark would be, I lash out at those who hurt me and I have a sharp tongue that I’m not afraid to use.

Gay Genes – No, not Jordache

Yet another study on human genetics playing a role in human sexuality. Pretty soon, there will be too much irrefutable proof for even the bible thumpers to ignore. Of course, I’m sure they’ll find some other reason to hate us.

But this study examined genetic information on all chromosomes, including genes from the father. The findings show that identical stretches of DNA on three chromosomes were shared by about 60% of gay brothers in the study compared to the about 50% normally expected by chance…
…The genetic scans showed a clustering of the same genetic pattern among the gay men on three chromosomes — chromosomes 7, 8, and 10. These common genetic patterns were shared by 60% of the gay men in the study. This is slightly more than the 50% expected by chance alone.
The regions on chromosome 7 and 8 were associated with male sexual orientation regardless of whether the man got them from his mother or father. The regions on chromosome 10 were only associated with male sexual orientation if they were inherited from the mother.

I’ll be the first in line asking for an apology.


Ain’t made up words great? Sometimes the words that really exist just don’t sound as nice. So ‘surreality’ is my made up word for the day. Coming from white trash means, I’m allowed to do that.

So anyway, I was struck by such a sense of ‘surreality’ today while riding Muni. [1]Muni is our public transit subway. I’m riding Muni along looking at all the advertisements that had been defaced. Pretty much every ad from West Portal to Castro was marked up in one form or another. All except the gay one. I forget what the ad was for but it was the only one not marked up. The irony was so overwhelming I burst out laughing. I’m sure everyone thought I was nuts be thats another story. For all my previous whining about the breeder invasion, I forget sometimes what a surreal environment I live in.

SF has a huge gay/lesbian population packed into a very small area. On top of that, it is probably one of the most progressive and tolerant cities in the nation to live. From a personal perspective, I’d feel safe walking around in about 80% of the city. The other 20% I don’t think being gay would matter, I’d be in trouble either way. *g* I can’t think of any other US city I’d feel that safe in as a gay man. And lets not forget our straight mayor, whether you agree w/his tactics or not, who put a face on the struggle for equal rights. Equal rights not just for the thousands of gays/lesbians in California but for the millions of our brethern all across America.

So for all my whining about the Castro, there is still no other place I’d prefer to live.


1 Muni is our public transit subway.