I must admit I’m having trouble finding the holiday spirit this year. I’m actually more than ready for this year to be over. It’s been a horrible year overall and I’m happy to see it go.

It doesn’t help that I’m once again in debt up to my eyeballs. For the last 6 months I’ve been hemorrhaging money like a stuck pig. It just seems like one thing after another keeps popping up. The irony is when I started this blog over 7 years ago I was in much the same situation. How’s that for a kick in the pants? You’d think I’d have learned by now. lol A huge chunk came from dealing w/my Dad’s estate after he died. Due to some legal loopholes in property law in TX, I couldn’t get a clean title for the little chunk of land he left my brothers and I. None of my brothers have a pot to piss in so I ended up shouldering the largest chunk of the legal burden to sort it all out. Five years and $22k in legal fees, its over and done with.

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to have what I do have. I have a roof over my head, job stability, relatively good health, and a doggie that loves me to death. I know there are many folks out there who can’t claim the same thing. That being said, all the stress and worry has sapped my spirit. Sometimes it really sucks having responsibilities. lol I guess I can be grateful w/o the spirit this year.

Anyway, I hope you all have a safe and warm holiday, whatever you celebrate.


GHHD #3 is almost upon us again. [1]Gay High Holy Day aka Foslom St Fair  This weekend marks the 3rd largest gay event of the year in SF. Halloween used to rank in at #4 but because of mayhem caused by outside hoodlums and low-lifes, the city put the kabasch on it.
The gym has been a flutter all week with guys trying to buff up before the weekend. lol I hate to break it to ya but it’s gonna take more than a week fellas. hehehe
Anyway, I’ll probably go to the fair but am not attending any of the big parties this year. Money is tight for one, and two I’m just not that motivated. Actually, I think I’m a little burned out. I’ve done the St Fairs every year since moving here (minus 1 or 2 exceptions) and I think I can miss one or two. 🙂

If you’re coming to the big event, be naughty, be safe, and say hi if you see me roaming around.


1 Gay High Holy Day aka Foslom St Fair


Well gay fans, Gay High Holy Day #1 (aka Pride) is here. This weekend promises to be a doozey as the weather is nice. Instead of blathering on about the need for gay holidays, pride, etc this year I thought I’d just wish everyone a happy and safe Pride weekend. I figure if you don’t know by know why we still need such events, your obviously living under a rock somewhere.  Whether you’re out in a major way or just going about your daily life, take a moment to look back on how far we’ve come and the road still ahead.

I’ll be out and about. I don’t have any concrete plans other than the Pink party on Saturday and the festival on Sunday. I’m sure shenanigans will ensue at some point but you know I’m not one to gossip. Lol   I’m dirt poor at the moment but thankfully the event is mostly free. I won’t be doing any big parties or that sort of thing.

So as I said, whether you’ll be tooting it up or having a quiet evening at home, reflect for a moment and be proud of who/what you are. Know that you are not alone and that across the country you’re brethren, who were born ‘a little different’ just like you, are celebrating our freedoms.

Have a safe and happy Pride weekend all.


… multicolored painted hard-boiled egg weekend.  I’m told the event somehow celebrates a zombie who rose from the dead and ascended into a mythical warm and fuzzy place in an attempt to absolve all of humanity [1]well not all, only those chose few who are ‘saved’. The rest are supposed to go to another mythical place that’s said to be really really REALLY hot, w/no a/c or pool, and suffer for eternity. of its bad behavior, past, present, and future.



1 well not all, only those chose few who are ‘saved’. The rest are supposed to go to another mythical place that’s said to be really really REALLY hot, w/no a/c or pool, and suffer for eternity.

Progress II

I’m still on the mend. I’ve already regained about 90% of my range of motion. There is very little discomfort in most daily tasks. I’m pretty much back to normal except for a few areas. I obviously can’t work out yet. I go back to the doc on the 20th to see how the bone is healing. Odd angles of pressure still bother me but its more of an annoyance vs real problem. The biggest issue is I can’t sleep on that side yet. Not being able to sleep on my back or stomach, I get restless a lot at night sleeping on just one side trying to remain comfortable. [1]Apple guy being in Texas at the moment isn’t helping.   I’ve resorted back to Ambien to get me thru the nights. It’s the only drug I’ve found so far that doesn’t leave me all groggy and lethargic in the mornings.

I can’t remember if I mentioned it but the bike was totaled. *sigh*  I’m gonna walk away w/about $3500 after the loan is paid off. Considering I financed the bike at $8k, that’s pretty good. I sent off the powr of attorney paperwork which is the last step in the process. That’s the good news. The bad news is my debt load has increased since I last purchased a bike and I’m worried I may not qualify for a low interest rate. I don’t have anything in the negative but carrying a high debt load does factor into the loan process. I’m hoping because its thru my credit union I will luck out. Keep your fingers crossed.

I’m gonna look for another 07-08 gixxr 750. I love the style and fit of the bike and I miss my beast something fierce. Worst case scenario, if I don’t get a good loan, I’ll work some massive overtime at work and just save up some cash to buy one outright. I’m not really looking to go that route as I’m not big on overtime these days.

My mood is up and down. I hate not being able to work out and with the erratic sleep, I’m cranky and irritable most days now. Another reason for the Ambien. The holiday is fast approaching and I can’t seem to find my xmas spirit. I’m sure it will hit me eventually but I wish it would hurry up already. lol Of course, I could always change my name to Scrooge McGrinch. lol


1 Apple guy being in Texas at the moment isn’t helping.

Post Folsom

So Gay High Holy Day #3 [1]Folsom St Fair has come and gone. This year Apple guy had a booth to launch his tshirt/jock business. Below is a picture of the booth setup and ready to go. I volunteered to help him with the booth.


Whacha think? Looking sharp huh? The hubby did all the artwork/designs for not only the shirts but also his logo and posters. I’m really proud of him. Considering we were behind the gun from the git-go, we turned out an awesome booth. There were a lot of unexpected delays in the process and to turn out such a good product deserves some serious kudos, IMHO.

We did pretty well at the fair. Not as much as we were hoping but I think that had more to do with outside factors than anything he did or didn’t do. We definitely got the name and product out there in people’s minds. As soon as the websites go live we are full steam ahead! I will be calling in favors from EVERYONE to help give us a good jumpstart! Oh yeah bitches, I’m calling in all my favors! lol Operators are standing by…

Anyway, the most irritating problem thru the whole process has been paypal. He was all setup to use them for the credit card processing when his account got hacked and then somehow tied to two fraudulent accounts. Paypal’s customer service has been on par with AT&T’s. Seriously, all my bitching about zipcar pales in comparison to Paypal. They basically don’t give a flying fuck and we are looking at months (yes, I said months) before his account gets sorted out.  Needless to say, he has decided to ditch them. [2]I have too 

I’ll be posting links to the sites soon so be ready! lol Seriously, the hubby has some awesome tshirt and jock designs, some edgy and some just plain funny. And you’ll be doing a ‘solid’ by helping him get off the ground.


1 Folsom St Fair
2 I have too


I had an altercation with a coworker this past week after I referred to the pope as evil incarnate. We are friends so she tried to cloak it under ‘be nice’. I knew that being a practicing catholic, she was offended. Too bad. There was a time when I tried to be accommodating of people’s religious beliefs. But, as I get older I just have less and less tolerance for bullshit. If you wanna align yourself with a bunch of make-believe nonsense that is your prerogative, but don’t expect me to tolerate your crap. And frankly, I am done being polite about it. All your sad pathetic excuses amount to nothing in the face of reality.

Christianity as an organization has become a self-obsessed, greedy, hate-mongering, evil, corporate entity bent on world domination. The sooner we get rid of it and start over, the better off we will be as a society. I fully admit there is still some good that comes from organized religion. [1]albeit very little or based on “conditions”.  That said, when your evil deeds and cover ups overshadow any good deeds performed, you lose any right to the moral high ground. If you are too stupid to see it, I’m not about to explain it to you. You clearly have bigger problems. And just because not everyone who claims the title doesn’t act that way doesn’t make it ok either. Your implicit denial or indifference makes you an accomplice to the atrocities continually being committed in the name of [insert name of deity of choice]. [2]and to be clear, I do believe in a higher power, just not one designed to control the masses out of fear.  Unlike being born gay, minority, female, etc you aren’t born christian. Being indoctrinated into a faith doesn’t mean you can’t use your effin’ head for something besides a hat-rack and walk away from it. Hiding behind the idea that you specifically don’t behave that way is just a sad attempt to not face the cold hard truth. Frankly, I’d be out-right ashamed to tell anyone if I was a christian in this day and age. I’ll go one step further and say my respect for you drops a notch or two when you admit it. I mean how believable is your ‘faith’ if you have to coop pagan rituals just to gain supporters?

When you step away and look outside in, the absurdity is grossly apparent. For most, this will fall on death deaf ears. I don’t really care. This is more for my benefit than yours. I’m not your role model and your choices in life are not my responsibility. But, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt when my life is over, I’ll be comfortable with my choices, mistakes, and atonements. Will you?


1 albeit very little or based on “conditions”.
2 and to be clear, I do believe in a higher power, just not one designed to control the masses out of fear.


I’m referring to Valentine’s day of course. Usually, I play for the opposing team, but this year having Apple guy in my life, I had to switch teams, so to speak. :p  He came up for VD and is spending the week with me. I don’t even need to tell ya how happy that made me. He had only been gone a little over two weeks and I was beside myself missing him. Speaking of, I know I haven’t been talking about him in much detail here since we met. That has been on purpose. One, I didn’t wanna jinx it and two, I’m a little gun-shy after my last two botched dating attempts. [1]Actually, I was kind of avoiding dating all together when he and I met.  I figure rather than over thinking it here, I’d just let things develop at their own pace and see how it goes. To my delight, its been going very well. I find that our comfort level together is such, I’m quickly moving away from my fears and lack of trust. Even after realizing how deep my ex’s betrayal hurt me, I hadn’t let it go. It jaded me and I’ve been going into potential relationships sort of expecting them to fail. I guess it was a twisted self-defense mechanism to protect myself from getting hurt. Whatevs…

Anyway, enough about that. The above pic is the very nice bouquet he got me for VD. I really like it a lot. I took the more traditional approach for him (see below).

We both got mixed up and thought Valentine’s day was yesterday. lol  Money is tight because of his upcoming move so we didn’t do anything too extravagant. We ended up going to see Valentine’s Day, the movie. It was just ok. Cute to watch on the holiday as it had some tender/sweet scenes sprinkled in. Overall, it was entirely too long and several scenes seemed to almost never end. I was kind of disappointed. It had such an all-star cast, I expected a lot more. If you didn’t get your dates confused like we did and you aren’t planning to see it today, I’d recommend waiting until DVD.

After the movie, we hung out at the Metreon playing video games and air-hockey for awhile. Of which, he soundly beat me. He has a a bit of a competitive streak and hates losing. lol [2]He and Brett would either either instantly love or hate each other.  The upside is he won me a life-size tickle-me-Elmo (I have a thing for Elmo) from one of those stuffed animal machines. 

Even better, when we got home he made us some gourmet grilled cheese “sammiches”. OMG, they were so good! I can already tell I’m definitely gonna have to up my cardio once he moves here full-time. lol 

Overall, we had a nice relaxing enjoyable day together. Some of you have noticed, I changed my Facebook status to “in a relationship”. I never realized anyone paid that much attention to such things but apparently you do. I was tickled from all the responses I got the day I changed it. hehehe  Yeah, we’ve decided to make it official. And so far, he manages to put up with me pretty well. :p

Actually, the comfort level is really good between us. I usually feel completely at ease around him. He has commented he feels the same way. This month is our 6 month marker, can you believe it? I can’t wait for him to make the move to SF. If everything goes well, he could be back permanently within 2 weeks. If not, probably 3-4. Either way, things are finally wrapping up and I’m glad he’ll be here soon.


1 Actually, I was kind of avoiding dating all together when he and I met.
2 He and Brett would either either instantly love or hate each other.


My biggest worry for the new year so far is on how to refer to it. Will it be Two Thousand Ten, Two Thousand And Ten or just Twenty Ten? I think I like the last one best. Its easier and rolls off the tongue better. So from this day forward 2010 shall be referred to as twenty ten. There, I have spoken! lol


I am so not excited about NYE. I had to work until 2:00am. [1]originally 3:00am but I got lucky and was relieved an hour early  NYE is our busiest (and worst) day of the year. Ugh. Overall, it wasn’t too bad this year. The cold messes, the hot messes, and the just plain messes were out in force but the overall violent crimes were down. I was on fire side most of the night which meant managing the medical fleet. I feel good knowing I did an excellent job with the resources available.


Apple guy is still here (yay!)  Sadly, I didn’t get to ring in the NY with him because I had to work. I did manage to send him a text at the midnight hour. I literally got the text out when the shit really hit the fan, so to speak. He went out with some friends so at least one of us had some fun. I was bummed that we had to spend it apart but there is always next year I guess.


I haven’t really worked on my resolutions for the new year yet. The wine is kicking in and my brain is kinda fuzzy at the moment.


1 originally 3:00am but I got lucky and was relieved an hour early

Take A Moment…

…to do something nice for a complete stranger. There are many this holiday season who don’t have it so well. Many more who are flat out hurting. It doesn’t have to be money or big, just make an effort. You’d be surprised what a little kindness can do for someone.

It isn’t the gifts but the idea that people are often a little bit nicer to each other. Call it mushy, sappy, or whatever but it catches on and spreads from person to person during the holiday season. I haven’t been able to really catch the spirit this season until now. Funny how that works ain’t it? lol

My little brother had me in tears last night. It took him being upset to reminded me of the thing I love about the holidays. He was sad because he still misses our dad and his mom. Even though he has two kids of his own now, he struggles on the holidays. They both passed while he was still living at home and I think he often feels lost and alone. He never developed the independence the rest of us had. 

While we were talking, I broke down and told him something I’d never mentioned before. He never knew as a kid that he was one of the only things that kept me sane. He knows full well there was never any love-loss between myself and his mom. But, I always wanted a little brother growing up. And as much as she hated me and I her, she did give me one. Granted, it had nothing to do with me but it didn’t matter. Having a little brother made me stronger and gave me something to focus on besides my own misery. I honestly don’t think I would have made it thru it w/o him. He was really touched by that and we both ended up bawling like school-girls.

Today I find that I’m all giddy and excited about the holiday again. I guess I finally caught the spirit. After I talk last night and today, I’m feeling it. Of course, apple guy arrives tonight so that might have something to do with it too. LOL  Ok, it has a lot to do with it but whatever.

Happy Hanna-Kwan-a-Xmas guys!