And it’s nothing like what you’re thinking. Get out of my gutter already! hehehe

No, I’m referring to my dust-bowl of an apartment. It is no secret I hate doing household chores. Don’t get me wrong, the day to day stuff is no problem. Between the roomie and I, the bulk gets done. It’s the dusting, wiping, and randomly needed cleaning that I fail at so miserably. Some of the less-used surfaces routinely develop a nice coat of dust. Ugh!

I’m caught up enough financially I can start looking for maid service again. For some reason, I can’t reach my old crew and I sure wish I could find them. They were perfect.

Cleaning services aren’t that pricey compared to previous years. And while it will be a slight drain on my wallet, the well-being I get from knowing the apt is getting cleaned and dusted regularly will off-set that in a major way! Any locals reading this, if you know a good crew, I’m taking recommendations. Preferably a mom/pop style vs big company.


My big word of the day, Cognitive Dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is basically when a person(s) hold simultaneous beliefs or ideas that conflict thereby creating dissonance. Our id will not tolerate too much of said dissonance and often times something has to give to resolve the conflict. A good example is the whole fight over nudity here in SF. [1]The gun issue going on right now is another glaring example  The issue has really been good blog fodder. Not only the issue itself but also some of the observations surrounding it.

It is my opinion that many involved could not resolve the idea that someone could be both against public nudity and be progressive or liberal. Others couldn’t resolve the idea that gay men who love Folsom, Dore, and all that comes with that could also support the ban. I would call that a pretty clear case of CD. Being unable to resolve the conflict resulted in lots of name-calling, outlandish statements, and overall disgust at how SF has become fascist, Republican, and/or conservative. This created an enemy that didn’t cause conflict, could be blamed, and thereby restoring balance in the id. Oh, and any gays who were vocal about supporting the ban were also labeled as uppity, prudes, outsiders, greedy, and/or selfish. Same result different variant. [2]And I am not saying there weren’t some valid arguments. There were. The problem is said arguments were never going to be strong enough to gain public support.  The very idea that you could be both gay and for the nudity ban was simply inconceivable to many. Some expressed their outrage just over that very fact.

There were many other issues at play here but this was something that struck me in a profound way. It was also very divisive. I had friends on both sides that were very passionate over it. Once I realized what I was seeing, I actually pulled back a bit to watch things unfold. It was like a weird science project. I swear I should have been a psychologist because I totally dig it. Lol Then you have the problem of filtering out the conspiracy nuts, the ignorant, and all of the personal bias. The latter being a mountain unto itself. So many were just randomly spewing nonsense. The mob mentality online is bound to be a thesis for someone somewhere.

Back on point, I don’t have a clue how we can work to better this. Belief is a powerful thing, as evidenced by the grip that organized religion has had over society for centuries. The problem I see these days is that belief seems to no longer be reliant on facts. For myself, without knowing the facts or details, I try not to go all holier-than-thou. That in itself would solve a lot of problems. I also try to be honest with myself if I have a personal bias over an issue. For example, on the nudity thing, some people that know me were very surprised at my reaction. They assumed I’d be all up in arms over it. And I’ll admit it did give me pause. I see no harm in nudity, or sex for that matter. I think our puritanical culture here in the US is extremely biased against sex in general. But as mentioned, it was more about a lack of respect IMO than the actual nudity. I also recognize a need for boundaries and respect for others.

The idea that a father of a slain child could be heckled by gun fanatic is another very striking and shameful version of cognitive dissonance. It was also a lot of other very shameful things but I was very sad to have read it. Anyway, the point of my little ramble today is it helps if we try to look outside the box from time to time. Instead of ignoring facts, we should embrace them. We should also realize that labels do not define us as individuals.


1 The gun issue going on right now is another glaring example
2 And I am not saying there weren’t some valid arguments. There were. The problem is said arguments were never going to be strong enough to gain public support.

Ban v.20

So looks like the nudity ban held up in court. I would have been surprised if it hadn’t. It was carefully worded. It is a shame we ended up with this law on the books but now maybe we can all move past it. [1]I’m sure some won’t and will lament even louder about how fascist SF has become. Seriously, just think about that for a moment.  I never supported the ban on it’s surface but I also never supported the so called nudists. Legislating personal behavior is a tricky and dangerous slope. However, I can tolerate it because it strives to strike what I believe to be a fair balance. 

It is truly unfortunate a selfish few had to ruin it for all. And yes, I say selfish because that is exactly what it was. Regardless of my theories on nudity, it is selfish anytime you decide your wants are more important than everyone else’s. The cognitive dissonance regarding the whole ordeal has sparked a post of it’s very own. (forthcoming)  But I do truly hope we can all move past it now. For something so silly, it sparked a lot of debate within the community. I wish we put half the energies invested in all this towards dealing with the homeless, skyrocketing rents, MUNI, etc. The Castro, as a gay neighborhood, is dying a slow death. It’s being strangled by greed, selfishness, and gentrification. The latter being totally unavoidable but as a whole I think the “Castro” as a gay hood will be gone in 10 years. Local businesses cannot afford rents and the neighborhood seems dead set on preventing anyone who might be a chain from opening. So spaces sit empty collecting yet more homeless encampments.

Anyway, if you really think about it, the ban pretty much maintains the status quo before all this started. You can still expose your buttocks pretty much anywhere. You can still go nude at beaches, fairs, events, parks (to a degree), etc. You just can’t park your butt in the hub of the neighborhood naked anymore. This is where we were before these guys decided to push the boundaries. I do not believe, as some have stated, that SF is becoming conservative or fascist. That is all lip service for “I didn’t get my way so I’m gonna call you names.”  SF is still a wonderfully progressive city in so many ways.

On a side rant, unfortunately, SF is facing an identity crisis. It has moved beyond a “small town” to a thriving city and the attitudes and approach to managing it are still stuck in the days of old. If SF is going to truly thrive and remain diverse, it needs to move away from viewing itself a small city and start managing itself as the city that it is.


1 I’m sure some won’t and will lament even louder about how fascist SF has become. Seriously, just think about that for a moment.


Sometimes my beloved SF can be a bit over the top with ordinances and other times they can be front-runners on really good ideas.

One particularly new good idea was an ordinance that passed recently that requries all businesses to charge a .10 cent fee for every bag given out. The idea obviously was to encourage people to bring their own bag(s) and cut down on landfill/waste. And so far it has worked pretty well. Pretty much every store I shop at regularly has reported a massive drop in the number of bags given out.

Some have grumbled a bit and others have just gone off the deep end complaining that SF is passing too many nanny laws. Forgetting for a moment, these are the same folks who spend $4 – $6 a day on coffee drinks, it’s 10 cents! lol Even if you walked away with 10 bags full of groceries it’s a whole dollar extra. Then you have people complaining it’s incovenient when you forget to bring a bag. Well silly, that is the point!

My favorite complaint was that stores should be required to eat the cost. Why exactly is that? They already have to pay for bags so why should they pay again for you? I’m all for corporate responsibility but this isn’t about the stores, it’s about us (as consumers) and needless waste. The law was meant to curtail waste.

I’m a huge supporter of the new ordinance and glady fork over the .10 anytime I forget to bring a bag. I’m glad SF is working to reduce the amount of waste produced by the city. It’s better for the city and better for the environment.


I’m slipping this rant into the scheduled posts. Only because it was time-relevant. lol

I didn’t sleep well last night at all. I have no idea why but I kept waking  up like every hour on the hour. I must have worn Cooper out as well because he slept right up till I crawled out of bed at 10:30 today. Usually, he is up and fidgeting and moving around the bedroom out of boredom. lol I called off to work today. I’m a bit cranky and feeling tired. After I’ve had some food in me, I’m gonna try to take a nice nap.

In other news, the proposed ban on public nudity here is scheduled to be voted on today. I’m at Cove cafe right now and several tables are discussing it. Every table had pretty much the same theme, “why do they have to force it on everyone?” Ironic, considering it was mostly locals doing the complaining. As mentioned, the issue really isn’t about nudity anymore IMO. Instead, it’s about people being forced to endure behavior they don’t like. That is the real crutch of the issue. SF has coexisted peacefully with the real nudists here for decades. Oh they get a few random complaints but nothing major. It’s known and even expected at some of the parks, beaches, bars, and various events here. It is tolerated well for the simple reason people who didn’t want to see it could avoid it. It wasn’t forced on you. With the exhibitionists setting up shop in the plaza smack dab in the middle of the neighborhood, people no longer felt it could be avoided. And that is when the complaints started rolling in, in earnest.

The issue has been conflated and twisted so much by both sides it borders on the ridiculous. Not to mention, something so silly  & foolish has divided the community in many aspects. Not that I’m surprised, good or bad, SF always tends to be controversial. And it won’t be over today unfortunately. I read the ban is being challenged in court as a violation of freedom of speech. I say good luck with that. You’d have to prove some sort of harm for it to pass muster. And considering it only covers public spaces, I find it a stretch to claim it somehow restricts people but whatev. I’ll be glad when it’s over so we can all move on to bigger more important issues.

Come & Go

In my last post, I mentioned the new Sliderbar restaurant that opened. It’s basically a twist on slider burgers. When Nikitas and I sat down, two of our friends were finishing up and gave it a scathing review. Being brand new hiccups are bound to happen so we decided to stick it out, granted our expectations were low.

The food turned out to be pretty decent. They had a diverse menu of sliders and we tried a couple different ones. Other than a snafu with our order getting entered timely, the overall experience (prior to me leaving my wallet like a dumb ass) was pleasant. The food was fresh and tasty.

Of course, like many places that seem to pop up these days, I doubt it will survive the long haul. They’ve taken something that is traditionally a comfort or fast food and tried to put a fancy spin on it. It is hard to sustain a business based on overcharging for fancy mini-burgers. I liked the remodel but I honestly doubt it will survive. They are trying to live on a niche market that is just not built on being pricey. Criolla Kitchen that was there prior was pretty much the same problem. After an owner revolt, the remaining owner ditched the all Cajun menu [1]Which was what they claimed to be for a more general Southern style comfort food menu with a hefty price tag. Sorry but comfort food by it’s very nature is not price. And trying to charge upscale prices for food you can get elsewhere for a fraction of the cost is just not good business IMO. I will give Criolla credit, their food was very good. But they failed to truly understand their customer base and went under because of it. I fear Sliderbar is headed down the same path. While my first experience was pleasant, it didn’t wow me and I’d be hard-pressed to find myself eating there a lot.

I don’t wish them any ill-will and certainly like having a variety of restaurants in my neighborhood. Sadly, there are 4 burger joints within a few blocks of each other and frankly I don’t see the demand as being that high, even with a high tourist ratio. I could be wrong and I certainly wish them luck though.


1 Which was what they claimed to be


The latest drama to roll SF is an upcoming proposal by one of the Board of Sups, Scott Weiner, [1]Yes, his real name and yes I know. to ban nudity in public places. While he did include a caveat that excludes fairs and events, it still would ban all forms of nudity in public. Not even your buttocks could be exposed under the new proposal. This is a tad more extreme than even some conservative cities. I’m sure some reading this would be very surprised that nudity, in any form, is allowed in public. While there are several ordinances on the books about lewd behavior, SF currently has no specific ordinance against nudity in general. And many of us here realize nudity is not something to be ashamed of…within reason. And therein lies my rant today.  

Anyone that knows me knows I am no stranger to nudity, sex, or even a little voyeurism. [2]Some of you reading can probably speak first-hand. *ahem* anyway… But from my perspective, it’s not so much about the nudity but respect. It is plain disrespectful and rude to parade around in a busy residential & business district butt-naked. And your desire to be naked does not trump everyone else’s desire not to see it. It is not shameful to want to avoid it while you are going about your daily routine and/or business. And we aren’t talking about the beaches or even the parks. We are talking right out in the public plazas. I don’t find it disgusting or offensive but I do find it rude and disrespectful. I am rarely a fan of legislating behavior,  but what’s left to do? They have pushed the envelope to the point where no one wants it anymore.  

In my opinion, no one seems to understand what balance means anymore. It’s “my way or the highway.” We have plenty of spaces, places, and events here that allow, condone, and even support nudity. We clearly have room and place to express ourselves. We do not have to grind it into everyone’s face to get our jollies. Even worse, the so-called nudists have taken to wearing cockrings now and trying to claim it’s ‘jewelry.’  Bullshit. 

Of course, you should hear some of the hang-wringing and stuff being said on both sides of the argument. Everything from the completely logical to the utterly made-up and insane. Some of the comments were so ludicrous as to be hilarious. And I’m sure there are many who do argue against it out of a misguided sense of shame, religion, or not being comfortable with their own bodies. Even in SF, you have the fundies but that isn’t the point.

Then there was the  ‘the republicans are taking over’ and of course, ‘what about the children’ argument. Whatever that means. Children have no idea anything is wrong until you act like it so spare me on that front. If we are going to argue against it rationally, then the reasons should be based on reason, not stupid shams used over and over again. Then on the other side you have ludicrous statements claiming it’s a hate crime or discrimination. This is where they lost my support completely. It is not hate, shame, or discrimination to expect a minimum level of decency in busy public spaces. Asking you to cover your bare genitals is not a hate crime and to claim it is demeans and marginalizes the victims of such very real crimes.

Anyway, I hate to say it but it’s their own fault. Most of the so-called nudists are the same ones you see at the fairs beating their meat for a thrill. Sadly, they have probably given the few traditional nudists involved a bad name now. Having the privilege to be naked wasn’t enough they had to keep pushing it as far as they could. Well guess what? A lot of the locals have had enough and have started complaining in record numbers. And of course, the board of sups, tired of having their inboxes and voicemail blown up over it, has proposed new legislation to ban nudity.

I personally hope that the ordinance gets watered down a bit. I love SF and the freedoms that come with living in such a progressive city. But, being cited for walking from bar to bar in ass-less chaps is probably a bit overkill. And while the police have better things to do, [3]and they do! if someone called and insisted on signing a complaint, they would be bound to enforce the law. Either way, it is a sad state of affairs when we are fighting over something so stupid and childish when we have so many bigger issues at hand.

Even as gregarious and open about things as I am, I still don’t want to see it when I’m going about my day. As I said, from my point of view it is about respect for others in public spaces and balance. There is a time and place for everything and there has to be a defining line somewhere. Unfortunately, now because of abuse, that line might end up being further to the right than we would have wanted.

On a slight tangent, many have argued for the old days and lamented the loss of the “freedoms” we had in the past. I’m sorry but we can’t have it both ways. We can’t argue for equality under the law and then get mad when we are held to the standards of society at large. We have emerged into the mainstream and can’t turn around. And given the choice, I’d go for equality. Being treated equal under the law and all that comes with that is far far better to me than the loss of a few freedoms. Freedoms ironically developed as a coping mechanism to a society that shunned and hated us.  


1 Yes, his real name and yes I know.
2 Some of you reading can probably speak first-hand. *ahem* anyway…
3 and they do!

Ya Know…

…you live in San Francisco when:

the homeless have specific requests on the amount of money or type of food they want.

someone says, ‘let’s go to the beach‘ and you grab a hoodie.

you see a naked guy walking down the st and no one even blinks.

your bingo host is a drag queen named Bob.

your pastor is a drag queen named Bob.

you can give directions to anywhere in the City w/o mentioning a freeway.

every hill is a different neighborhood.

you feel like you need a passport to drive over a bridge.


I was walking home from the gym the other day and snapped this shot. I didn’t put any real thought behind it. It was just a quick pic of the gaborhood. It was a typical overcast day in SF.

Apple guy and I had had a conversation about his pending move back to Texas and I was reminded of my first time here. While he is very happy to be moving back, I couldn’t imagine ever moving back to Texas, by choice. He doesn’t hate it here but I think because he never quite gained a strong financial foothold, he has become frustrated. There are also many things about the South that I guess he misses. I don’t necessarily think his views are overly objective but that is irrelevant. Finding a place to truly call home can be a strong drive in one’s life, I can speak from experience. I wish him all the best.


It was about 13 years ago that I got my first visit to the motherland, aka the Castro. lol It truly was love at first sight. I can remember arriving here in wide-eyed wonder, not knowing what to expect. There was a moment on my 2nd or 3rd trip here where I was just walking down the street and it hit me, “I want to live here!” Jump forward about 2 years and I made the leap permanently. It was nothing for me back then to just pick up and move somewhere. Hell, I didn’t have much so it was easy. Fast forward again to present day and I’m still in love with beautiful SF. Make no mistake it has it’s issues. It certainly isn’t for everyone and can be very hard if you don’t have a stabile financial situation. I was told many times I’d grow to hate it, become jaded, callous, and uncaring, or end up strung out on drugs. None of which has happened. The only down side is my dreams of home ownership here are on hold because of my current financial crisis. Ironically, said crisis had nothing to do with SF itself.

I bounced around a lot in my life before landing in SF. I think I was looking for a place to fit in. I never felt truly at home anywhere else. Having landed here and formed roots, I’m glad it happened and have not regrets. I know that I’ll eventually get out of my current financial hole. Maybe then I can focus on home-ownership again. If not, it won’t kill me. Either way, I’m home.


This Guy is facing felony charges now for plowing thru a busy intersection in SF, not to mention the heart of the Castro. The story grabbed national headlines afterwards because the cyclist, a blogger, took to a local cycling site after the incident making some very careless comments about the guy dying to save his helmet. The comments were eventually removed by the site after massive reader backlash.

Anyway, I mention it because SF is one of the most cyclist friendly cities in the nation. That being said, the friction between cyclists and vehicles has increased exponentially in the last 11 years I’ve lived here. Many point fingers at Critical Mass, a local cyclist event meant to bring attention to the plight of cyclists. Varied amounts of riders gather on the last Friday of every month here and basically set out across the city blocking traffic and intersections. While CM started for good reasons it has devolved into a punk-a-thon of riders looking for mayhem and does more harm to the cause of cyclists in SF than any good it ever created. [1]And for the record, there are conscientious, law abiding cyclists in SF and in CM

Being a motorcycle rider, I try to be friendly to cars, cyclists, and pedestrians. Lord knows there are plenty of idiots in every category. I’ve had peds walk out in front of me, cars cut me off, and cyclists jump in front of me trying to beat traffic. And while I do think CM does create a lot of negative attention for cyclists in SF, I do not feel it is the biggest culprit. LIke many societal issues, it boils down to respect. Very few in any category above give respect to the others. Each feels entitled in their own way.

Many car owners think the own the roads and make virtually no allowances for anyone else. They are oblivious to anyone but other vehicles. Taxis are some of the absolute worst offenders. Cyclists ignore 99% of traffic laws, ride on streets, sidewalks, crosswalks and virtually anywhere two-wheels will carry them. Many are belligerent to anyone who interferes with ‘their” riding or act indignant if you confront them for stupid antics. I had an incident recently where I was walking Cooper. We were crossing at a crosswalk and these 2 cyclist come barreling down the street with no intention of stopping. One girl presumes to yell it me to get out of “her” way. She promptly got cussed out and had she hit Cooper, I probably would have yanked her off the bike and beat her with its chain. [2]I get very defensive of Cooper when I’m out in public. I can only imagine what I’d be like if I had children.

Many motorcyclists are overly aggressive and try too hard to cheat traffic and road conditions. They tailgate, split lanes, or make turns way too aggressively IMHO. While I do lane split, I try to always be aware of others and even then that doesn’t always help. lol. Pedestrians are no better. They often walk blindly into traffic without even looking to see what’s coming; comfortable in the knowledge they have the “right of way.” Well sweetie, when you get run over and killed because you couldn’t be bothered to look, we’ll write that on your tombstone, “here lies an idiot, he had the right of way.”

Without some sort of combined public education/outreach program the problem is only going to get worse. All of us need to learn to share the road, obey traffic laws or at least pay attention before proceeding, and share the road with each other. I know it sounds very kumbaya but it’s also true. There is no reason we can’t all enjoy the roadways and get from point A to point B w/o someone getting maimed, or worse killed. I encourage you, whatever your mode of transportation, be mindful you are not alone on the roadways and be willing to share the road.


1 And for the record, there are conscientious, law abiding cyclists in SF and in CM
2 I get very defensive of Cooper when I’m out in public. I can only imagine what I’d be like if I had children.