They finally fixed the DSL this morning. Five full days AFTER it was supposed to be on. After all the pissing/moaning I did they could only give me a $10.00 credit on my bill. Puh-lease! If anyone is getting high speed internet, I highly recommend cable vs dsl. Faster speeds, easier to setup, and less drama anytime there is a problem. I’m definitely switching when my contract is up now that I have a choice again.
Category: tech
Moving & Separation
Well, I’ve been busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest this past week so haven’t been posting much lately. I had all these great rants I wanted to squeeze in but now I’ve misplaced/forgotten half of them.
I mentioned a few blogs back that I was moving. Well, today was the day. I am finished w/the first day of the move. I’m about mid way thru it and I don’t mind telling you I am tuckered out. I’ve been moving/packing all freaking day and I’m soooo over it. (g) I’m still torn about the move itself. I’m gonna be saving buttloads of cash but I really hate not being in the heart of the city. That said, I need to recoup from my financial losses this past year. (Yes, taking care of shithead was a big part of it) Not to mention, I plan to start paramedic training in the Spring or Fall. First and foremost though, I plan to be debt free by summertime. I don’t have that much debt in the scope of things. However, I’m tired of it constantly being over my head.
Since I mentioned Shithead, I guess I should give you the update on him as well. Surprisingly, he (my ex) came back from Palm Springs and didn’t put up a fight at all about me asking him to move out. As expected, he is moving-in with his best friend. He also helped out quite a bit getting ready for the move. Of course, the fact that I’m letting him store ALL his stuff at my new place for free until he gets back on his feet might have something to do with it. Everyone says I’m being too nice to him after the way he has wronged me. Try as I might, I just can’t be cruel in return. I was mistreated for so much of my childhood that I can’t or better yet, I won’t inflict that sort of torment on someone I care about. Make no mistake, I have no illusions that we’ll ever be together again. That said, I find that I’m still very much in love with him.
Tomorrow is the last day we will spend together and I just know I’m gonna be all blubbery about it. Being a typical Aquarian I’m loyal to the bitter end I guess.
Bush Who?
This is what I think of the losers who re-elected a dumb ass to office! (but I’m not bitter)
Wifi Everywhere!
Well, color me ignunt!
I guess I haven’t really thought much about the proliferation of wifi. I was amazed today as I was driving around town how many wifi points the new pocketpc picked up. I’m thinking in the back of my mind, maybe I’d stumble across 1 or 2 here and there. Not so. On one strip I’d have four and five separate access points every time I stopped at a traffic light. (Of course, not many were open access but, thats besides the point) Talk about a light going on? I guess I still see wifi as a geek’s toy and not a everyday convenience. I live 6 blocks from work and driving between work I picked up 10 different access points.
What is wifi you ask? Wifi stands for wireless fidelity kinda like hifi for stereos. The difference, the broadcast is thru the air using old style radio signals to transmit data. (What a ducky idea right?) The current standard is based on the 802.11 radio broacasting frequency. This frequency broadcasts using 1 to 3 gigahertz range. Several versions abound, 802.11a, 802.11b, and 802.11g. There are two new standards in the works using a slightly different style. 802.11n is a tighter, refined version of the same frequency and then there is 802.16. The latter falls into the WiMAX category. With the WiMAX standard you could take todays connection speeds, double the speed and the distance w/o any quality loss! Imagine being able to drive all over town and never loose a signal while downloading or broadcasting live video/audio feeds! Thats the power of WIMAX! (WiMax is still in development stage and won’t be available retail for months)
Wifi has been around since mid 2000 but up until recently it was very expensive and annoyingly non-user friendly. As the standard matures and production costs decrease, I guess more and more non-techies are making the leap! Who da thunk?
New Pocket Pc/PHone
Finally, an expensive PDA/Phone combo worth the money! This phone has it all folks. It seamlessly switches between wifi, cellular, or bluetooth for a internet connection all the while you can still be on the phone talking at the same time! Still a bit pricey at $500.00, this is the first model to come along truly worth the price.
I’ve been dying to get one and putting off because I simply don’t need one. Today, I wake up, sit down in front of my pc, and my old one isn’t working. The irony is my buddy kristaki and I were just talking yesterday about when I planned to get one. (The original plan was after Xmas)
I’ll admit I’m hard on my toys and the old one has surely taken a beating. So doesn’t surprise me it went kablooey. Anyway, I just got home from the store, set it up and it works flawlessly! I had it sync’d and up in running in about 15 minutes. Wahooo!
Giving Up
After an argument today with the bf (or ex-bf I should say), it has become very clear to me he has no desire to reconcile and never has. With that in mind, I have given up any hope of salvaging our 3 1/2 year relationship. Most of my anger last night was over this very revelation. I must confess I’m still mystified as to why he doesn’t even care to try. Today, his only feeble attempt at a reason was “we’ve grown apart.” In the breadth of the last year, we’ve somehow grown apart. I could insert some really mean things here but what’s the point? It won’t change anything and really wouldn’t make me feel any better either.
I also discovered he is rather annoyed that I post my feelings on this blog. Several of our mutual friends, along w/a gaggle of nosey watchdogs, read it and run back to him wanting details. I make no apologies for the way I feel. I’ve said nothing here that I haven’t told him face to face. Is he afraid people will judge him based solely on my comments? If so, thats his problem. This is my way of working thru the pain and disappointment of being discarded like yesterdays trash. Ive been there for him thru thick and thin. I encouraged him when he was down and I applauded him when he was up. This is what I get in return. [1]Do I sound bitter here? I think so too After the way he so casually dismissed the life we had together, Im not even sure I could take him back now.
The only thing left to do now is put it behind me, pick up the pieces of my broken heart and move on.
References
| ↑1 | Do I sound bitter here? I think so too |
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Bad Day
I’m not even sure how to start this one. I’m annoyed enough I could break something. As pathetic as it sounds, I discovered today that several of my ex-partner’s friends keep checking my blog in the sole attempt to report back on my “comments” regarding our split. The stupidity of said people is overwhelming considering I monitor my blog traffic IP addresses and my blog is public. On top of that, my ex seems to think I’m stupid enough to not hear about if from people we know. Not to mention everything on my blog, I’ve said to his face. But enough on that.
So here is a comment for you nosy pests. Yeah we split up. Feel better now? Just itching to swoop in and take my place? My advice to you is go for it!
Me, Oh So Long Ago
Being a typical vain fag, I’m a member of several online gay muscle sites. I’ve gotten alot of requests from guys wanting to know what I looked like before I started working out.
Well folks, seeing is believing! The pic below is me circa 1990. This is me before I knew what working out was all about. (It was also me when I HAD hair).
As you can see, I’ve changed quite a bit since then. My goal was never to be huge, just bigger. I didn’t actually start working out in earnest until early 2000. I’ve never been one to work out so I could impress others. I got tired of being so damn skinny a good gust a wind could blow me away. Now don’t get me wrong, I like the attention I get now that I’m bigger. That said, when I started working out for my reasons, I stuck w/it. Its become a part of my life that I can’t go without. I don’t live for the gym but I go often.
On a related note, I got the chance to experiment w/a low impact steroid about a year ago after recovering from a bad case of food poisoning. By low impact I mean a pill version w/limited side-effects. While it did give me a really good pump, I found that my sex drive increased exponentially. And while this may sound like a good thing, let me explain. I’ve always had a strong libido. If you know me, you know I ain’t lyin’. So after about 2 weeks, it got to the point where I could not focus on a single task without thinking about sex. When I could get it, where, from who, how often, etc. After a while, it began to affect my daily routine and my job. I know what your thinking…”I’d kill for that” right? Wrong! When it starts affecting your life on a fundamental level, its time to quit. And quit I did.
Afterwards, I did manage to keep a little of the bulk I had gained but not much. What goes up must come down. The same is true for the body. While I peaked performance on the drug, I went thru a dip after coming off of it. My desire for sex evaporated. For the first time in my life, I knew what it meant to not be in the mood. I also couldn’t muster the same amount of energy to workout. I’d go for days w/o even going to the gym. After about 2 weeks I leveled out to normal again. I can only imagine what the stronger injectable versions would do to you. Yikes!
So the long and short of it is simple. I’m proof positive anyone can workout and improve their appearance. Its no always easy but, if it was everyone would do it.
Thats my story officer and I’m sticking to it!
Changes to the Blog
Because of annoying pest I’ve had to lock my blog down. This way if said person chooses to continue to harass me he can be tracked and dealt with. My apologies to any non bloggers in advance.
Nice & Not So Nice Comments
Thanks to everyone who has sent me such supportive emails. I’m very flattered and truly touched. In a world thats shrinking daily, its nice to see people still care enough to reach out to another soul in trouble. Really made my day reading some of the comments. Of course, thanks go out to my blogging buddy Smitty.
That said, one particular person chose to make some really rude comments out of anger. First off, this is MY blog and I’ll simply delete the comments. DUH! That said, I’ll address your issues anyway. If you ever had any chance of getting back in my good graces, it just went down the tubes w/my breakup. He was the one person who was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt even after all your drama.