Ooops VI

Every not do something wondering why you don’t and then discover later it was a good thing you didn’t? I’ve been so focused on work and getting my EMT hours in, I totally spaced I was on vacation this week! I’d originally planned to go to Fort Lauderdale however, I kept putting off booking the trip until it was too late. Turns out, it was a very good thing I didn’t book it. Can you say K-a-r-m-a? My entrance exam for the Fire Dept is tomorrow. I would have totally had to cancel the trip or worse, miss the exam date. Needless to say, I’m studying my butt off today.1 Wish me luck Luck LUCK!?

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My friend Trevan was in town this past weekend. He came up last week for a work conference but stayed over to hang out w/me. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year so it was very nice to see him. We didn’t do a whole lot though. Shopping one day, bar hopping the next, and a little naughtiness the last night.2 We seemed to run into the same group of friends of a friend sorta scenario. (I think they were secretly stalking us!)

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I met another local blogger at the gym the other day. He was kinda coy but I’m hoping he sends me his blog link so I can check it out. He is a total hottie too. Grrrr!

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I keep having dreams about M and I. No, not those kind. Believe it or not, I’ve been dreaming about us being old together. And no, I haven’t changed my mind about the “wait and see” approach. I also have no idea what the dreams mean. I’ve never dreamed about being old before. We texted a few times yesterday. End of update…

1 I still had my session w/the trainer.
2 No, not together. Ewww, gross!

Tech & Talk

I’ve resigned myself to the wait to see how things go w/M. I think fate is testing me. I run into him practically every other day now. The upside is I’m not stressing about it. If it happens, great. If not, I have my own life to live and can’t pussy-foot around waiting.

On the tech front, I cannot find a fix for leaving comments on the hidden posts. However, I may have found a work around. One option, I can setup mini chat boxes on these posts that are outside the WordPress loop. Another option is to try a different user management plugin. On the latter, I found a new one and emailed the owner to see if it would resolve my issues. Don’t worry, you won’t really notice much on the front end. All your log-in info will stay the same.
Continue reading Tech & Talk

Confused (again)

Lord, talk about a fire storm. Who knew? hehehe. I got a slew of emails (22 to be exact) offering everything from advice to nonsense. I guess I wasn’t very clear in my last post. I was mostly sounding off on the irony of the situation.

Yes, I had a nice date w/the Sacramento Guy.
Yes, I think it has potential.
Yes, I will see him again.
Yes, He knows I like him.
Yes, He feels the way I do.

No, I am not willing to rush into a relationship w/the Sacramento guy just because.
No, it will not get serious anytime soon. Even if M wasn’t the picture, our schedules and lack of free time make that all but impossible.
No, I am not interested in pursuing a long distance relationship. After my ex, I am sort of burned out on that scenario.
No, I am not capable of dating two men at once. If he were just a booty-call it would be easy because my feelings would not come into conflict. The problem is I do like him hence, the possible conflict later.

What does all that mean? Life rarely gives us exactly what we ask for. Sure, I want M in my life and that is a definite possibility but that is all at this point. However, I’m not rushing into something new w/this other guy until I’ve had a chance to see where things w/M go. I’ve done that before and it has burned me every single time. I’m in no rush to find a boyfriend so I don’t see the need to push it. (OMG, Am I actually willing to be patient? Will wonders never cease?!)

Confused

I had a really good date last night with the guy from Sacramento. He made me smile, laugh, and blush. All things that make a successful date in my mind. He is/was very sweet and strikes me as a very sincere and genuine man. He also has a fondness for Ab-Fab which got him instant brownie points. If he lived here, I could easily see myself going out w/him on a regular basis to see where it would go. We both know that isn’t a good idea considering neither one of us has much free time. He is also in school. He is studying to be a Nurse. His schedule is just as crazy as mine right now.

So, I’m all happy about my successful date and guess who I run into? M. All my good feelings vanish and I feel guilty now. I know that’s irrational as I haven’t done anything wrong. I also was up front with the Sac. guy about my dilemma with M. Of course, knowing something doesn’t always make it so. Seems like M and I bump into each other more and more these days. Fate? Fuck, I don’t know but it’s driving me crazy. I know one thing, I can’t keep doing this. I can’t split myself between two people. As much as I enjoyed hanging out with the guy from Sacramento, it wouldn’t be fair to him or me to try and pursue something right now. Not until this situation w/M has resolved itself. That won’t happen for at least a few more months so I have my work cut out for me. I have the hardest time saying no to someone when I know they are into me. I admit it, I enjoy the attention. That said, I am a grown man and if I’m gonna learn from my previous mistakes it is time to step up.

News

Busy frakin’ week for sure. Yesterday, I got up bright and early to go stand in line for an hour at the Dept of Training for the Fire Dept. The city finally got its act together and posted the job announcement for EMT level 1. Thirty two slots are available and last check, they got 400 applications. A lot? Yeah. However, a lot of the applicants are guys trying to use it as an opportunity to get in as a fire fighter. I have no desire to do that. My only goal is to work as an EMT so I can fast track my paramedic training. The bad news is I’d take a $20k a year pay cut. Can you say “ouch”? The upside is m retirement would almost triple though. I’m kinda hoping I miss the first round of hires. I’ll go on the master list of available candidates. This would give me more time to prepare for such a drastic pay cut. Sometimes you have to take a step back to take two forward.

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Afterwards, I had to rush to get back in time to meet the trainer. I just made it. We’ve developed a good relationship and he is getting really good at knowing when to push me harder. I can definitely see some tighter leaner growth to my features. Of course, we’ve only been at it just over a month. I’m doing it el-natural so no overnight results. Well, I am taking protein supplements but thats about it. I need to boost my cardio though. I’ve been putting it off. If I wanna get cut at all, I need to start back at it.

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I keep getting asked how things are progressing w/M. Well, it is pretty much in limbo as before. It will be a couple more months before he is able to cut full ties w/his ex. Nothing is going to happen until then. I meant it when I said I’m not willing to pursue anything until he is completely done w/the ex. And while patience is not my best virtue, I’m even worse at being the rebound man. I ran into him today actually and we chatted briefly.

Besides, my dance card seems to be filling up on its own lately. No since sitting around pining like a school girl. I’m not sure why but guys have been crawling out of the woodwork lately. I’ve had more attention than I can keep up with. Why is that? Always one extreme or the other. lol I have a date tonight as a matter of fact. He is coming down from Sacramento. We met online and have been chatting for the past few months. He is very sweet and for some unknown reason, he likes me. I’m not sure how keen he is on me spilling the details here so I’ll keep it brief for now. This will be our first time to meet in person. Wish me luck.

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There was something else I wanted to ramble on about but I’ve forgotten. I’m sure it will come to me. I’ll post about Mr London later… *EG*

Real Man

It always takes a real man to leave a shitty comment on someone’s blog w/no email or website reference. Yeah, real man.

So, I get this cheesy email from a guy insulting me in one breath and complimenting me in another. Of course, the compliment was meant to be sarcastic. The sp@m filter caught it and promptly shuffled it into the correct folder. (The joys of WordPress)

I have no problem w/folks who disagree with me however, don’t be a pussy. Have the fuckin’ balls to put your name and email address. Otherwise, don’t expect your comments to see the light of day.

Bear Crawl & Saggy Panties

No, not together thankfully. hehehe. This past Saturday my blogger buddy Shawn drug me out for the Bear Crawl. I didn’t even know what it was. It happens a few times a year. Basically, a huge group of guys (like almost 100) get together and go bar to bar every 30 minutes. I didn’t join in till much later in the evening however, I had a good time. And it’s official, I’m a bear. I didn’t realize it was so easy to join. All I had to do was have facial hair along w/my happy trail and light patch of chest fuzz. As seen from my pic here. Who knew?














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In more shallow news, why is it old men always were really baggy or tight underwear? Always one extreme or the other? I saw this older guy today, probably in his mid 60’s, lean and tall. He had on a pair of skin tight bikini cut bright aqua blue undies that looked ridiculous. Even the older guy next to me had a smirk on his face. People, I know fashion sense is shallow in the grand scheme of things. That said, take a moment to look at yourself before you walk out your door in the morning. Please, I beg you, stop torturing the rest of us and dress your damn age. /rant

Conversations

While out on the bear crawl1 this weekend, a conversation heard about blogging.

This is sorta where I tuned into to the conversation.

Guy 1: ….yeah, he said he was a blogger. I’ve never read him though

Guy 2: Blogger? I thought only losers did that?

Guy 1: Why do you say that? I’m not even sure what a blog is. I just know he does it.

Guy 2: Its a bunch of queers who don’t have a life complaining about it online. Don’t waste your time.

It was at this point, I felt compelled to intervene. I leaned over and stuck my nose right in their conversation. hehehe

Continue reading Conversations

Recap

Ok, ok already. I’ve been busy. I keep getting emails and texts demanding to see pics. Yeah, I love you too. *g* Anyway, it’s Friday (my Saturday) and it has been a lazy day so far. I slept in and then promptly got up and had myself a nooner. A young one too. Lord what is the world coming to when yours truly starts doing chicken. lol I digress. He was fun and I can report the poisons have left the building. Work was very sad this week for obvious reasons. The funeral was yesterday and I’m glad it’s over and a lot of the tears have passed. Everyone is focused on remembering her for who she was. I like that.

As I mentioned, Rich from Dallas was in town (last weekend) and I ended up hanging out w/him almost the whole weekend. He had a two day layover in SF. We cut up a lot and he really got me out of my shell for a bit. I’ve gotten so locked into my routine lately, it was very relaxing to just goof off.1 Rich is very charming and I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much. His sense of humor is just as warped as mine. Even more surprising, he has the same knack I do for quoting obscure movie quotes.

In a nutshell, we did some shopping, visited the local bars, strolled the parks, went to the movies, and basically terrorized the poor city. Shopping was, well shopping. We also went to see 300 which I loved. If you like blood and guts w/a little mythology and special affects thrown in, you’ll love it. The bars were interesting. I kept running into M’s soon-to-be ex which was a little unnerving. I also met 6 different guys from bear411.2 One guy was very friendly. Anyway, our purpose for being out was to see another friend of Rich’s that lives here. I did not care for him at all. I found him annoying and disrespectful. He begged Rich to come meet him out and then proceeded to ignore him most of the night. He was more concerned about finding his next trick. I’m all for getting laid however, a little prioritizing goes a long way. Rich didn’t seem to mind so I kept my mouth shut. Besides, we were having fun on our own without little miss sunshine.

Saturday was very low key. Rich helped me wash my motorcycle, which was very kind of him. We also took time to snap off some more pics. (see below.) Afterwards, we went for a nice stroll man-watching in Dolores park. The weather was a beautiful 75 degrees and sunny. The “menses” were out in force. Since Rich had to leave that night, we finisihed off the day by having Sushi at my favorite Japanese joint in the Castro. The roomie tagged along and we mostly gabbed about life in Texas.

This weekend I’m just being lazy. I have a few chores to do but otherwise, nothing planned. Ok, now on to the pics!

Rich and I both like the same tshirt so we both got it. Don’t we look like twins?










Rich and I goofing off on our way to get some Sushi. Notice we weren’t still dressed like twins. hehehe










Here we are at the park. It was a very nice day out. We were lookin’ all J-cool.










We were at Castro and Market here. The motherland as Rich calls it.










I’m not sure what we were doing here however, it felt good. *g*










Don’t ask!










Rich looking hunky in the park. Boys were turning their heads. What a handsome bear he is.










1 I’m still bumped from my ride along on Friday’s so it worked out perfectly.
2 See, I’m working on expanding being viewed as a bear. (I’m still not exactly sure what that means yet)