Like a fool, I let a friend who I know is high-drama drag it into my home this past weekend. I thought I was doing him a favor in letting him hang out with me. Maybe give him a chance to bond and vent a little. Oh, it started out good. He comes over and we stay up laughing and playing Xbox till the wee hours of the morning. I thought it a good way to get his mind off the situation. However, it went downhill from there. Without all the gory details, in the space of 12 hours he managed to not only disrespect me but my roommate, my neighbors, and my landlord.
I like to think I am pretty easy going. That said, I’ve learned sometimes people can use your good will against you. I knew he was a drama addict. Why? Because I’ve been there; a life full of drama but lacking in responsibilty. I admit, it is a bit odd seeing a straight counterpart in the same place I was 10-15 years ago. Oh, the faces and names are different but the scenarios are the same. I was lucky enough to find my way and grow out of it. I’m beginning to wonder if my friend ever will. He goes from one self-induced dramatic episode to the next.
I’m not the only one who is growing tired of his BS either. Several of my co-workers are a bit fed up as well. He has systematically used up most of the good will afforded him. If he isn’t careful he may not have any friends left soon. For my part, I’ve ended more meaningful friendships for similar problems so I’m not about to change now. And while this current episode doesn’t reach that level just yet, I’ll think twice before I invite him over again.
I often repeat myself so if this is such a case, my apologies in advance. My rant today is in reference to a message I got from an anonymous person on gaydar.co.uk. I say anonymous because his profile was devoid of pictures and had the barest of details filled out. Forgetting for a moment my profile states if you contact me, please have pics of yourself or don’t expect a response.
Said person, sends me a message. “Hey, you’re Hot” or something to that affect. Being overly tired of people not actually reading the profile before responding, I hit the generic “no thanks” button. His reply, “Go fuck yourself you stupid rude cunt.“. Hmmmm . . . I’m rude? I think someone is suffering from a delusion I give a shit. I kindly hit the block button and that was the end of that.
I bring it up because, in the age of the internet, people have the illusion that 1) you can log on and remain completely anonymous and 2) by being anonymous, absolve yourself of any responsibility for your behavior. Frankly, I do not concur.
Sites like gaydar.co.uk, manhunt, tribe, myspace, etc serve a purpose. Whether sexual or not, they exist to promote human interaction. It kind of defeats that purpose when you are acting John Doe. And no, it does not make you more alluring. If anything, it has just the opposite affect unless you are desperate. In an age of technology, one is left to ponder why (oh why) does some one need to be so invisible? In the gay world, it usually stems from one (or more) sources.
1) You are a narcissist but afraid to admit it.
2) You are too lazy to get off your ass and make an effort. Whether it be thru a filled out profile or having pictures of yourself.
3) You are ashamed of yourself be it behavior or appearance.
4) You are being deceitful w/someone else (Usually a lover or partner)
Regardless of the reason, I could care less. I have no time for such dramatics. Being from the South and an Aquarian, I am an incredibly social person. That said, I do not care for faceless interaction. Take my blog for example. Every person on my favorites list, I’ve either met in person or had enough interaction with to feel a connection to, be it bouncing between blogs, emails, chats, gaming, phone calls, etc. I also have a rather clear idea what they look like. I could see them on the street and recognize them.
The other part of my little tirade today is this. If you log onto a sex site looking for nookie and someone ignores you, don’t freak out. You shouldn’t be gleaning your self-respect from your sexual conquests first of all (so been there done that, still have the tshirt). All it means, is said person does not wish to have sex w/you. There is nothing that says they have too. And if you id is that fragile, you shouldn’t be online in the first place. If you take the time to send me a message beyond “sup” or “what are you into?“, I usually take the time to reply back. However, if I’m busy, distracted, or annoyed, I may just hit the delete button. It doesn’t mean I hate you, I’m just not interested in swapping bodily fluids with you. Rejection is part of life. You will never be everything to everyone. And expecting to is a recipe for misery.
So to recap my little BF today. If you choose to be “discreet” or “anonymous” on the net that is certainly your choice. It is my choice not to interact w/you. If you refuse to relent then don’t be bitter at others who also refuse to relent. And if you are bitter and lash out it only makes you look a) desperate or b) like an ass.
I’ve noticed a clear difference lately between shows that were made for HiDef and shows made in HiDef. Shows made for HiDef are incredibly detailed and every aspect is a delight to the eyes. The visual creation is overwhelming. It becomes obvious rather quickly the content is as important as the detail.
Now shows made in HiDef are regulars movies transcoded into the HiDef format. The detail is there however, it becomes apparent very quickly it wasn’t made for HiDef. I was watching my favorite movie last night Underworld:Evolution and the detail was so good I could see some of the fake parts. The makeup was more pronounced and the digital layovers were noticeable. Not enough to ruin the movie mind you but a little distracting the first time. Don’t get me wrong the detail was amazing and the color and richness of it added to the content. But sitting their watching it, I realized there is a clear difference between a show made for HiDef and a show made in HiDef.
I guess directors will have to take that into consideration now. Every detail, every minutia has to be realistic. Otherwise, the believability of it gets lost. Of course, this just means they’ll jack up the price of tickets and rentals. (Oh wait, they do that already) Anyway, I’m rambling so more later.
The committee chair for the BCC is learning just how technical the management of their domain is. He is trying to manage the domain like he does everything else, crisis control. In the latest debacle, he has attempted to transfer the domain 3 times now. Of course, the first two times failed.1 And he is still under the delusion that all of the emails setup under the domain will magically transfer with it. In the words of my deceased father, “It don’t work like that son.”
After his 2nd failure, he finally swallowed his pride and checked w/me. Just in time too. I discovered he was about to totally fuck the domain up completely. I hate to sound like I’m gloating but I did tell him.2 His attitude and lack of concern are now coming full circle to bite him in the ass. He was trying to use a 3rd party host to transfer between two other hosts. Anyone knowing enough about the net backbone can tell you what a nightmare that would have been. Meanwhile, the domain would have been down the whole time.
And, I just know, he’d rather eat a pot full of razors than admit he was wrong. I don’t expect to hear from him about the emails. I was kind enough to send him a snapshot of all the emails in use. This way I get to gloat (just a little) and my karma stays in tact.
2 Ok, I am gloating a little.
I’m back in SF! The cold weather broke and now its just rainy.
I survived 3 days of very boring IDT (Incident Dispatch Training) material. It didn’t help that the class was way out in Concord1. The instructors were knowledgable however, it became clear very quickly this course was meant more as an intro vs real learning. Considering how much they charged my comm. center for the course it could have been better.
That said, I did get a better understanding of just how much more prepared California is compared to other states. Our FEMA/OES rating is the highest in the nation. I sleep good at night knowing the state I call home is very proactive in protecting and sheltering its citizens in times of peril.
I’ve been so busy w/training this week not much time for anything else. For those who asked, yes, I’m loving the TV and the Xbox. No regrets there. I’ve only had one whole day so far to actually sit down and play.
The roomie and I had an interesting conversation last night. He told me he had a friend who is a financial advisor helping him get his finances in order. I bluntly asked how much debt he had and it was only a couple
thousdand dollars. This makes me wonder how much money he “isn’t” making. It is none of my business however, it doesn’t boost my confidence in his ability to pay bills. He knows my strong feelings on stability so I’m not overly worried2. We’ve had a few ‘minor’ mishaps so far. I believe it has more to do w/this management skills than lack of funds. He doesn’t plan very well and his frequent trips down to New Orleans to see the boyfriend and trips to LA to see friends aren’t helping. Anything that makes him more accountable can’t hurt.
