It’s raining like a mofo out right now. So much for my glorious plans to soak up some sun over my weekend.
Oh well, off to the gym. Have to instruct a class later otherwise, it’s chore city for me today. Blech!
A Past Not Forgotten
Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my father’s death. For those of you long term readers, you know that his passing while sad was not overly traumatic for me. It did bring up many unresolved issues for me. Some of which I was able to resolve at the time. My father and I weren’t close considering our history. However, in the end, we did reach a sort of understanding and mutual respect for each other. One might even say love.
I look back today not w/sadness or regret. Nothing that was done can be undone. And while at times, I still resent the unnecessary hardships inflicted upon me by my family, I am grateful as well. Those hardships have helped mold me into the person I am today. Humility really is a good teacher. I never understood that as I child. As an adult, it is all too clear.
In slightly less depressing news, today is my Friday. I was only moderately bad last night. Home and in bed by 3:00am. This moring, I had a conversation w/someone which left me in very good spirits.
I’m Just Dying to Know…
New Readers
Lately, I’ve had a noticeable increase in my readership. Not my clicks but actual readers. I’m flattered so many folks like my rantings. I’ve tried to keep the blog “honest” so to speak in that I’ve always wanted it to become an extension of me and a reflection of my growth as a person.
With the exception of kristaki, I’m often very leary of my co-workers learning about my blog. I’m not ashamed, I just don’t want any unneccesary conflicts. I’m very professional at work, even when I’m goofing off and being a cornball. I offered my link to a female co-worker this week. Someone I’d originally made assumptions about based on her appearance. Not bad mind you, just incorrect. She is a very nice woman whom I’ve grown to respect a lot. I’m pretty sure our lives are on different paths but that’s not really a surprise. And whether she actually decides to read or not isn’t important. Having gotten to know her a bit, I feel like she is worth the risk. She is always very kind, overly considerate, and easy to work with. She has improved in her job skills tremendously since starting just 2 short years ago.
I’m sure my blog will be a bit racy for her and may even be a little bit TMI at times. However, I am confident that won’t matter and feel like she would benefit from my madness.
Kiss & Tell…
*another long winded rant, lord you are asking for it today. grab a sandwich*
Well, I’m flattered so many guys are interested in my love (or lust) life. I was taken aback by the flood of emails (and posts). *g* I was in such a good mood today I didn’t even mind the one very nasty email I got.
First, thank you sincerely to all the well-wishers. You solidify my optimistic belief in the kindness and compassion of humanity. (Being from the South, kindness is a biggie in my book.) Since I have yet to meet said person, I don’t plan on preemptively ruining it by blabbering my (and his) “biz-ness” all over my blog. I’m sure you can respect that even if you’re chomping at the bit to know. Like I said before. . . All good things cum all over come to those who wait.
I was really struck by the number of emails asking “what type of guy I’m hoping to land?” That’s not an easy question to answer. Especially, when I’m not hoping to land anyone. I’m open to a relationship however, I think ‘searching’ for one puts too much pressure on the interaction. And, I’m still growing as a person so it is really hard for me to answer w/any finality.
Question
Ever hear someone’s voice for the first time and think it’s the sexiest most amazing voice you’ve ever heard? A voice you could listen to endlessly w/o distraction?
*I know it sounds corny but I can’t help myself*
I’m often amazed at the power of my emotions. Tonight was no exception. I know I’m being cryptic but good things come to those who wait.
And, I’m going to bed w/the biggest shit-eating grin I’ve ever had!
Tech Alert.
*tech post – you can skip it if you don’t like technical rants*
In unrelated drama, I finally broke down and bought a new phone/pda. My Ipaq 6315 has had some heavy wear n tear and is falling apart. I’m a tad ashamed of myself because it’s only a year old. I’m hard on my toys, what can I say. This particular model has been plagued w/hardware issues so I’m glad to be rid of it soon. The latest drama is the external speaker has started only working intermittently. So when it rings, I don’t always hear it. @#$%! grumble grumble grumble.
And being the tech geek I am, I can’t settle for just any old phone. Oh no, not even close. I’ve been chopping at the bit waiting for this one to be released in the US.
It just 7 short days, I’ll have this baby in my hands. Besides having a faster chip, this one is loaded w/the new Windows Mobile 5 platform. Which is supposed to be much more robust.
One lesson learned from my previous model, is never buy one that someone else does the tech support on. My biggest complaint is having to constantly bounce between HP and Tmobile on issues. The previous hybrid was put out by Tmobile and they bent over backwards anytime I had issues. So I’m extremely happy Tmobile decided to slap their name on this one as well.
Oh and lest I forget, let me share my delight in the news that TV remotes have come a long way. I bought a new all in one remote from Radio Shack yesterday on a whim.
This bad boy not only controls my TV/DVD/Stereo, it also controls my Tivo and my Cable box. You used to never be able to do that. Who knew? *giggle* I’m in heaven now. One simple remote for every freaking piece of electronics in my entertainment center. All for the bargain price of $20.00 bucks!
Yeah, I’m a geek, whatcha gonna do about it!?
Blogger Sightings!
In a rare indulgence, I’m just finished gorging myself on pizza and ice cream. Non-fat ice cream at that.. hehehe Now, Im just kicking back to enjoy a movie, Transporter 2 w/the holy hot Jason Statham. Besides being an incredible marshal arts expert, he is fantastically handsome. There is a scene in part 2 where he walks out of his house in just a tshirt and jeans. Yet the silhoutte of his muscles against the clothing is very erotic. Ok, I’m in a mood now.
In the blogworld, Bratt from Beyond Buffalo did call and we got together for a quick lunch this past week. He brought his friend Karen w/him. We didn’t get much time as I had to head off to work. It was nice to see him (and her) and catch up. I keep telling him he should move here. Maybe one of these days he’ll listen to me.
The same day I ran into Viktor from v-hold. I got such a giggle because I didn’t know it was him at first and was checking out his boo-tay. hehehe. I’m sure he’ll forgive me.
Today, I met Chad from stop touching my food. Chad and I are participating in Large Tony‘s shirt around the world project. Besides that, we had a great time. We were all over the map with conversations. Tony being the prime subject for quite a while. All good mind you.
Continue reading Blogger Sightings!
Mirror Mirror
I couldn’t think of of a catchier title, cut me some slack. And I’m feeling a bit long-winded so grab a cup a joe.
Events as of late seem to be conspiring to make me take an outside view of myself. Let me preface with this statement. I’ve been kinda popular in the past two weeks. Guys have been crawling out of the woodwork. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m liking it. The point is these events have forced me to re-examine my self-image.
Encounter 1 involved a guy I’ve seen around town for years. Continue reading Mirror Mirror
Old Journals – 1.1.97
Everyone was so supportive, I thought I’d go for it. Over the coming month, I’ll probably post from several old journals. They are very scattered as I hadn’t really developed the skill for it nor the habit of writing consistently. However, that’s not really the point.
This one was taken from an old journal entry back in 1997. It was my first real forray into writing down my thoughts. A relationship that I never should have been in had just ended and I was alone, lonely, and miserable. A relationship that I’d moved across three states for,Houston to Boulder. I’d heard about journaling as a form of therapy and thought it might be helpful for me. It is unedited for grammar or content.*
*While writing this entry, I was sitting on a giant boulder overlooking a creek inside a canyan between the Flatirons in Boulder, CO. It was one of my favorite places to go and relax. It was called Dream Canyan.*
1.1.97
This is a journal I have always wanted to start but never have. It’s the first day of the new year. Pat has left for Atlanta & I am still here in Boulder, CO. I really don’t know why I have stayed but, here I am. I really like my job & I guess I ‘m afraid if I leave I wont’ be able to find another job like this one. I am making more now than I ever have before however, it is very expensive to live here. I am barely scraping by. I am thinking of moving to Denver w/Daniel. As roommates go, he is not bad. A slob but not bad. I would, at least, be able to become a part of the gay scene there. Boulder has no scene at all. Something has to change soon. I have given up alot for love on different occasiona & I just am not willing to do it again. I want to focus on my own life & hopefully get it together. I have started working out again. I would like to get my ass in shape. At least, to tone up and be firm. Not to please others but to please myself.
Continue reading Old Journals – 1.1.97