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🙂
Ok Somehow, this damn thing posted before I finished….
I bitched a while back about some of my frustrations with printed media making the jump to digital, albeit slowly and sporadically. Since then, I’ve been watching a slow but gradual convergence. It seems unlike the music/movie industry, the book publishers haven’t been as stand offish over the whole digital jump. Don’t get me wrong, they are still being greedy by charging the same price as a paperback for digital content, but at least they are allowing it to be available.
Sadly, some authors aren’t as gung-ho and have fought to keep their works out of the digital forum. They will find themselves relegated to the dusty shelves their books are sitting on if they don’t wake up. From a simple supply/demand point-of-view, the digital convergence is not a matter of if but when.
I’m happy that many more works are making the jump almost every day though. This time last year when I was ranting about some of the draconian bills going thru congress, only 1 of my fave authors had all of their works available in e-format and now all 3 have chunks of their works online. Many of my favorite mags have also made the jump with only one not having an e-format.
I can honestly say I’ve started reading a lot more. Having an ipad with a Kindle app, I can access virtually any book in my e-library at a moment’s notice. The only down side is any of my favorite books that I already have in print still have to be repurchased in the new format. *grumble grumble*
Hell, even porn has gone digital. lol You can get a plethora of books, short stories, etc of the adult variety, gay or straight, on amazon, apple, google, or even direct from the author. And as the saying goes, ‘where porn goes, so does the rest.‘ You laugh but look back at every time the porn industry as embraced a new format and you’ll notice a giant shift overall. Oh yes, for all our nay-saying, sex still sells. lol
I was talking to one of the neighborhood homeless guys the other day and it reminded me of my own stint at living on the street.
It was back in my early 20’s. I wasn’t making ends meet and rather than get evicted, I moved out of my place. I wanted to move from Galveston to Houston anyway so I figured it was the perfect time. I didn’t plan it well and ended up w/o a place to live for awhile.
Yeah, I did some things I’m not proud of but they were all towards my survival. I only had to steal food a few times; luckily, it was rare that I went hungry. I still had my car and was sleeping out of it so that helped me avoid some of the harsher parts of being on the street. Being in Houston, the biggest hassle was finding places to park where I wouldn’t get harassed by the police. At that time the downtown area was a ghost town at night and the gaborhoods weren’t overly safe. A lot of times I ended up parking in apartment complexes. It sounds odd but no one ever harassed me. I never stayed in the same one twice in a row so I think that helped.
On some levels it was pretty bad but overall I wasn’t as bad off as some. Not having rent to pay freed up my cash for other necessities. I kept my gym membership active so I always had a place to shower. I only shaved about once a week back then so I never looked ragged. To see me, you’d just think I was a normal kid. That definitely helped on the job search.
My jobs consisted of minimum wage low-skill type situations. I hadn’t developed much self confidence yet so I figured it was all I could get. Looking back, I probably could have landed better gigs had I tried harder. Anyway, I bounced around from waiting tables, working at hotels, etc. Actually, one of my better paying gigs was working at one of the local bath-houses hosting bbq’s on the weekends. Being funny and engaging with the clientele [1]and not necessarily like that either! lol the manager ended up I giving me a full-time job working the front desk. As luck would have it, the manager at the time liked that I was a hard worker and befriended me.
One night he dropped by after my shift-ended and sort of figured out my situation. He took pity on me and let me stay in one of the bigger rooms for a few months. He also secretly gave me a little extra pay every month to help me out. I am not ashamed to admit it. It kept me off the streets and out of trouble, plus having a gym and wet-area I always had access to good hygiene. It also gave me a chance to put away some money and eventually get back on my feet.
Having absolutely no credit to my name back then, I had to pay cash for everything, which meant only buying what I could afford at that moment. After about a year and half I secured a small apartment in one of the complexes I used to park/sleep in. After that, I moved on to bigger and bigger jobs as time went by. I was beginning to discover my talents and realized I could aim higher. Each job I bounced to was a step-up.
Fast-forward a couple more years and I’d reached a point where I could support myself again. I’m grateful for my friend that helped me out. He died about 3 months after I moved to SF. The owner knew me thru him and paid for my ticket to come back to see him before he passed. He died from acute HIV symptoms after being treated for cancer. The chemo pushed his immune system too far and he got an opportunistic infection that he eventually succumbed to. Some people might turn their nose at him for being a bath-house manager but he was a good person and was there for me when I really needed it. It was an honest living. He came off as a bitchy queen a lot but that was a cover. He was a genuine soul that helped when he saw a need. I saw him help plenty of his other employees at different times as well. He had a big heart.
I still look back on that time of my life from time to time. I had virtually nothing but I was happy most of the time. I didn’t have anything to lose so things could only go up from my perspective. Being smart and quick study, I always tried to better myself. Up until I started referring to it on my blog, only a couple people even knew that I went thru all that.
Anyway, I told the local homeless guy in my hood my story and I encouraged him to work at it. He doesn’t booze or do drugs [2]Well that I know of, I never see him strung out so I always try to help him with food when I can. I think he is what you’d call a career homeless guy but I hope that he decides at some point to get off the streets. If anything, I hope that my story gave him faith that he could if he really wanted to.
References
In case you haven’t noticed, Little Cooper has his own FB page now. hehehe
I talk about him so much I figured he deserved his own page of love. In the short 6+ months he’s been with me he has become a neighborhood staple. He has a contingent of fans that always stop to hug and pet him when he is out and about. Many of the locals know him by name and comment every time they see him. Not to mention, the crews at the local Starbucks & Walgreens always ask about him when he isn’t with me. lol With love like that he needs a place to be worshipped. lolol
Cooper has flourished under our love and attentions. His weight has reached healthy levels. His potty training is under control and his behavior has improved greatly. He get’s time off the leash now when we are out and about, when I feel it’s safe. He knows to stay with me. He knows to stop at curbs. [1]Except for birds. He has suddenly taken a liking to chasing birds. I have to keep an eye on him if they are around. I’m still working on his socializing skills. He isn’t mean but he always wants to establish dominance with other dogs by humping them. This leads to friction, so to speak. lol Now that I know, I watch him and intervene before he gets to that point. He gets trips to the local dog-park about once a week and he does well. He even recognizes a few dogs now that tend to be there around the same times. He seems mostly bored with other dogs now though. lol
At home, he loves to sleep in all kinds of strange positions. He’ll actually sleep on his back laying up against the sofa sometimes. It cracks me up every time too. When he attempts to scratch his face, he’ll do summersaults on the floor. He loves to run and roll-over every morning like clockwork after he’s been fed. Thankfully, his heavy chewing is relegated to toys. I’ve yet to have any problems with him chewing wires, shoes, etc. We used to let him sleep on the sofa at night but he started getting territorial of it so we’ve had to curb that privilege for awhile. He’ll eventually get special times on the couch but only when a certain blanket is laid out as a signal.
On the down side, he has a particular aversion to strange noises. Especially high-pitched beeps, loud trolly noises, and high-base rumbles. He gets very worked up and will go into a panic, even at home. In public I have to make sure to hold him around the trolly cars as he’ll bolt even if he’s on his leash. Ironic because he tolerates the underground LRV’s pretty well. We ride MUNI pretty often and he enjoys it. There must be a distinct pitch from the trolly cars that he doesn’t like. Don’t even get me started on skateboards, strollers, garbage cans, etc. His jumping on people from excitement is improving as well. He still has to be reminded at times but it seems to be less and less. I think in part because he gets so much attention he doesn’t feel neglected anymore.
While he has mostly solid white fur, his skin is covered in spots. Recently, we’ve noticed the faintest beginnings of brown spots on his fur. I have the feeling he won’t stay solid white too much longer. I won’t mind but I’ll miss it a little as it garners him a lot of extra attention, which he loves. lol
While we don’t know his official birthday, he was roughly 17 months when we picked him up so June 22 will be his official two year birthday for us. He’ll get his first trip back to the vet since coming to join us. I’m a little nervous about taking him back to the vet as I wonder if he associates that with his previous abandonment. I discovered the Petfood Express store we go to all the time has a veterinary service that comes every saturday to do shots. He likes going there and it isn’t overly expensive. I just don’t want him to suffer any undue anxiety by thinking he is being left again. [2]Apple guy says I’m turning into a “cat lady”, just with a dog. I don’t really care. He keeps me sane and I luvs him. He is growing into a very happy, well-adjusted doggie.
Anyway, the lord Cooper will occasionally pop in here to do guest posts like Spike did. He’ll probably have something funny or dastardly to say regarding his plan for world domination.
References
I guess I’m on my high-horse as of late. After my last rant I got to thinking. When in my life was I the happiest? It was back when I was in my 20’s and I barely had a pot to piss in. I was barely making ends meet and yet I was so carefree and happy. I spent almost 2 years living out of my car and yet I look back on it as some of the happiest times in my life. Ironic wouldn’t you say?
I look at my life then and now and I’m a bit envious. Part of it was because other than basic necessities I had virtually no worries. I didn’t care that I didn’t have nice clothes, a home, or a plethora of electronic gadgets. I didn’t have a stack of bills demanding my constant attention. I realize being carefree was a blessing and hope that I can find that feeling again someday.
At this moment in my life I’m not overly happy. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot to be thankful for but I’m not happy. I struggle with bouts of depression and frustration over my financial woes. If it wasn’t for little Cooper, I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now emotionally. Compared to a lot of people out there I make damn good money. Yet, I can barely keep a roof over my head right now. I’m so mired in debt I can barely pay my bills. And yes I realize a huge chunk of my debt load was unavoidable but that doesn’t change things.
I wonder how many millions of people out there are in the same boat I’m in or worse? I may have more things now but I miss the days of being carefree.
Every time I hear someone refer to how advanced we are as a species, I point them to one of the many random headlines regarding discrimination against women, minorities, and gays. If that’s not enough then look to the senseless wars and deaths on a global scale We put profit above human lives. We put things above people’s well-being. We are not evolved. If anything we are moving to an unavoidable meltdown. The divide between the haves and have nots is growing exponentially. Eventually, all hell is going to break loose. You would think looking back on our long bloody history of fear, hate, and discrimination we would wise up and realize the truth; being different does not equate to being bad.
The idea that in this day and age we are still fighting over something as simple as who I should love and share my life with is preposterous! And all of it stems from ignorance and an unwillingness to accept anyone who is different. Ignorance is now celebrated in many parts of the world. People no longer care about the truth, especially if it gets in the way of their selfish pursuits. It is sickening. Instead of rising above our baser emotions, we are succumbing to them.
Our so called religious leaders no longer hold themselves to a standard of faith. Almost ever day now you read about priests/pastors/preachers, etc 1) ripping people off, 2) stealing, or 3) molesting kids and then covering it up. These are our spiritual leaders? Are you fucking kidding me? Even worse, fanatics that used to be ignored are now paraded on national TV because it gets sensationalist style ratings. Let me sum up all religions on this planet for you. You ready?
1) Follow the spirit, not the flesh
2) My way is the only way
3) Everyone who doesn’t believe as I believe is lost or evil.
Oh and I almost forgot…
4) Give me all your wealth.
That’s it. The first point is pretty much the only one worth saving. The others should be done away with if we hope to survive. How many millions of people have died in the last 12 centuries based on #2 and #3? How many people are dying right now?
Greed and the pursuit of things has consumed us as a society and is driving us to a breaking point. We are not evolving. If anything we are devolving and if we don’t do something soon, I fear for us as a species.
I don’t know what it is about my upper back workouts but I always end up very achey afterwards. It is odd because it’s my only muscle group that makes me feel this way. I can bake my chest or arms until I can’t move and they don’t make me ache all over like my back does. lol
Part of it might be because I’m doing more back workouts lately. Like a typical bad homo I tend to ignore muscles I can’t see. lol I’ve always done my back but only in a very cursory way. After noticing my calves weren’t as even as the rest of my body, I started paying attention to my back. Naturally, It is a bit underdeveloped as well. Anyway back to my point, I get so damn achey afterwards. It isn’t good to take aspirin or ibuprofen after a workout so I avoid them. I drink lots of liquids, take my supplements/vitamins, etc but for the first 8 hours or so after I just get incredibly cranky. lol I’m hoping as I develop my back muscles more and they become conditioned to heavy weights, the aching will subside.
Unless you’re living under a rock you know that yet another horrible discriminatory amendment passed in North Caroline recently. The fundies managed to rush thru a smear campaign of lies and scare tactics. They’ve discovered the latter the only way they can effectively get people to vote to enshrine discrimination into their state constitutions. It was a sad day for the LGBT folks in NC. Ironically, the last time NC amended it’s constitution was to ban interracial marriage.
We all know where this is headed. The fundies know they can’t get a federal amendment passed so they are working in as many states as they can to keep us 2nd class citizens as long as possible. They also are all-in on trying to get Obama ousted next term. They are so desperate right now they would vote for anyone that gives them lip service. Overall support for us is growing more and more every year and they are quaking in their boots over that. Eventually, a federal law will pass nullifying all these hateful anti-gay measures. It will be years before we see it happen but I am confident it will.
However, it is important now more than ever that we continue to vote and make our voices heard. I’ve been somewhat disappointed in President Obama; however, he finally made me proud by making a symbolic statement for equality. I believe this was his strategy all along. If anything, I’m surprised he came out in full support of gay marriage before the upcoming election. And while I am extremely proud of him, I hope that it doesn’t hurt his chances at reelection. Another glaring reason why you need to vote. If you aren’t registered, please do so. It is times like these that we must make our voices heard. We must continue to hold those who are elected to represent us to represent ALL of us. Those who hate us are motivated and organized and if we don’t step up, we have no one but ourselves to blame.
Anyway, I’m dismayed yet another state fell for propaganda, racism, lies, and fear-mongered even though I’m not surprised. I send my love and best wishes to all those there who will have yet an even harder fight toward equality now.
I might have mentioned awhile back that my Union contract is up for renegotiation at work. It was actually up 2 years ago, but because of budget problems in the recent economic crisis it was rolled over 2 consecutive years.
As a preface, I make a decent wage and am grateful to be employed in such touch economic times.
In the last 3 years, I’ve given up significant chunks of raises and salary. Its going on year 4 since I’ve had a raise of any kind. This year I wasn’t overly optimistic about raises, I just didn’t want lose anything. My finances are stretched to the limit and just can’t take anymore cuts.
One of the biggest worries was our health plan contributions. My out of pocket expense would have gone from $200 to $420 a month had the proposal on the table passed. That dent alone would have caused some serious damage. I found out that proposal is off the table.
The 2nd issue was a flat out pay cut. Considering I’m already underpaid for my job classification, this was also of significant worry. Had the health plan changes and a pay-cut passed, I would have had to move out of San Francisco. I honestly don’t know how people who don’t make as much as I do make it.
Anyway, the two big issues are off the table. There is a dispute over my dept’s lunch hour and a raise that we’ve deferred twice now. Either way, I’m just happy to not have to move out of SF. If I ended up having to move, I wasn’t even sure I would have stayed in California. Thankfully, that is a decision I do not have to make now. I love living here but I have no intention of living in an area where I can’t live decent.
On a side rant, I can’t remember if I mentioned it but I’m still up for a promotion. The first two slots were filled by coworkers on the list above me. There is still a position coming up that will have to be filled. I have no idea when it will come to fruition.
I got a very interesting email reply regarding some of my more recent posts. The person wasn’t ugly or rude but asked if I thought I was getting less flexible in my tolerance of others as I get older. This gave me pause to ponder as I’ve wondered the very same thing at times.
My answer is yes and no. I looked back over the last year of off/on posts and I don’t think I’m getting crotchety…yet! lol I haven’t talked much about my personal growth later so yeah it seems I am more opinionated in many of my more recent posts. I can tell the person asking isn’t a long time reader because he would know those are pretty much parcel and post around here. I always have an opinion. But, I am willing to listen to other opinions on many issues and sometimes I even change my own.
I do think as I age though what used to be fleeting ideals have settled in my id. For my few looooong time readers, you’ll remember the struggles I’ve gone thru here. They are legion. And you’ll remember me referring to myself as a blank slate in some regards because I never felt like I was given a strong moral compass as a child. I had to choose which paths in life to take and part of that was how I wanted to be as a person. I have a strong moral compass now. It may not be the norm or even acceptable to others but it guides me in all that I do. I still try to live by the Golden Rule, love, acceptance, tolerance, kindness, and compassion. And thru that I’ve grown from trying to figure out who I am to knowing who I am. I still struggle, as should we all, with things but my id is more formed today. Life, age, experience, mistakes, and wisdom all had a hand it that of course. Am I still fallible? Of course I am! As evidenced by last failed-LTR. I went into it with blinders on and am still feeling the repercussions as a result. And yes, I still have baggage that I carry around with me. I’m happy that it has been reduced to a single carry-on vs a whole family set. hehehe
So yes, I do think I am a tad less flexible in some ways. The irony here is had I been more less-flexible, my last LTR would not have turned into an LTR. Actually, that is only partially true. I had also transferred somer personal demons into the mix that contributed greatly. Anyway, there are many things I used to ignore or shrug off when I was younger. Now I just find I have less tolerance for what I see as bullshit. And if you drag me into your BS or drama, I’m more apt to tell you about it vs just walking away. The key I think is not to allow all the problems of others to become BS in my mind. That is the distinction. [1]There’s that word again. I just love it.
On the flip side, I’m still evolving as a human. I’m still learning and growing as a man and discovering more of what makes me tick. In that regard, I don’t think I’m inflexible at all. I actually believe I am very flexible, almost too much. In the end, I’m struggling for balance. And I believe therein lies the fundamental key; finding a balance between beliefs and ideals while still being accepting of others or willing to see outside of my own box, so to speak.
So, there is your answer dear reader and thanks for being willing to broach the subject with me.
References
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