Category: health

Parts

Ugh! I think I’m getting old. [1]well my body is lolol  I’m realizing my 2001 parts aren’t as resilient as they used to be.

No sooner do I get back into a good solid gym routine after recovering from straining my shoulder and I manage to strain the other fracking shoulder! Its not a major injury mind you. I’ll probably have to lay off the heavy weights for only a week or two. I’m more annoyed than injured.

Fortunately, I still have all my original parts and everything still works. (knock on wood)  Truth be told, I’m in pretty good shape. I doubt I’ll ever be as ripped but that’s ok with me. I’ve slowly worked my way up the muscle chain over the years. Here I am a month away from being 39 and I’m 5 lbs [2]naked, true body weight is done in the buff bitches shy of breaking 200 lbs! And from someone who used to weigh 90 lbs soaking wet, that’s a big deal! Of course, some of that is fat weight but the ratio is very healthy and let’s face it, I like to eat. lol  And while such a goal could be accomplished in a shorter time frame, being healthy has always been my primary focus. The purdy muscles are just an added benefit.

Anyway, I’ve always wanted to hit 210lbs. I’m sure I’ll eventually hit it but patience has never been one of my better virtues. lol I’m actually looking at combining resistance and interval training together. Last time I did that, I really noticed a difference. Of course, that is AFTER the shoulder is all better again.

References

References
↑1 well my body is
↑2 naked, true body weight is done in the buff bitches

Cookin’ N Bookin’

I’ve been getting back in the habit of cooking my own meals lately as opposed to eating out. Wit the old roomie moving to NY, I needed to make some cutbacks to accommodate the cost of absorbing all of the rent. My eating habits were an easy target as I tended to eat out a lot. Anyway, I’ve been getting back in the habit of cooking. With that comes old favorites that I enjoy immensely and are relatively easy to make. A big one is a simple but versatile dish called Hobo Casserole. You can use any ground meat of choice, (the leaner the better), fresh frozen assorted veggies, V-8 or tomato sauce, and biscuits. Brown the meat, seasoning to taste. Layer in casserole dish, cover with mixed veggies and then layer w/biscuits. That’s pretty much it. Cook at 300 degrees for about 45 minutes. Its a very versatile recipe as you can change up the meat, veggies, and the sauce. The trick is to make sure the casserole dish is full to the top with just a tiny bit of room to fit the biscuits; literally just enough to prevent the biscuits from cooking over the edge. If the dish isn’t full the biscuits will not cook all the way thru and will be gooey underneath. [1]An alternative is to cook the biscuits in a similar size dish and layer’em on top afterwards. If you are a cheese fan you can layer in a cheese of your choice between the meat and veggies. I swap the sauce from V-8 juice to tomato sauce, or my favorite, Campbell’s tomato soup. The tomato soup has a tangy sweet flavor which mixes well with the meat and veggies. I also love to add chopped okra with the veggies. DE-lish! It isn’t very ‘sophisticated’ but makes a filling and healthy meal.

*

And speaking of roomies, I can’t remember if I told everyone but I found a new roomie. [2]And no, we haven’t slept together. As you know, I’ve been very ambivalent about searching for a new roommate. The thought of living with a total stranger has been very unappealing. It took me 2 months just to start putting feelers out. I’ve been very cautious as I’m looking for a good fit vs just having a body to fill a void. Home is my no-drama zone and I wanna keep it that way. Anyway, he saw a blurb on my Facebook profile and showed some interest. We’ve known each other for several years. He dated my ex’s best friend back when my ex and I were still together. While we aren’t overly close, I know enough about him to feel comfortable having him as a roomie. He also has a stable job, his own wheels, and he doesn’t smoke. All pluses in my book. lol Seriously though, I’m looking forward to it. I think he is a great guy and don’t foresee any drama. Unfortunately, this came about because he is breaking up with his partner. I guess he has reached his breaking point as he was originally gonna move in on the first but has already started moving his stuff. [3]Lucky for him, I’ve already had the priest over to perform an exorcism after the last roomie. heehee He seems to have a positive attitude about it though. Oh, and he also rides a motorcycle so we definitely have that in common!

He is supposed to finish moving in this weekend. I’ll be in LA visiting the boy so he’ll have the whole place to himself. I’m quite sure he’ll be fine. lol  For my part, I’m excited. As ambivalent as I was, the apt has felt empty w/o someone around. I can turn my attention back to paying down my debt in anticipation of buying a condo around years end.

References

References
↑1 An alternative is to cook the biscuits in a similar size dish and layer’em on top afterwards.
↑2 And no, we haven’t slept together.
↑3 Lucky for him, I’ve already had the priest over to perform an exorcism after the last roomie. heehee

WWMD

This month’s WWMD is a bit heart-wrenching. One of my readers who has never commented confided in me recently. I have his permission to share his question anonymously.

Q: I just found out I am HIV-positive. I’m so scared and I feel like my life is over. I feel lost and confused. What should I do?

A: First, let go of the guilt, blame, and shame over your conversion. Beating yourself up over a mistake isn’t the answer. I often hear from so many gay men who can’t let go of the shame and guilt of sero-converting. Well, guess what? It just means you are human. We all make mistakes. Sometimes, those mistakes cost more than we ever expected or thought. There are a variety of support groups online and off that you can join to help in this arena, especially if you find yourself struggling to adjust. You will probably find them very inviting and supportive.

Second, your life is not over. HIV isn’t the death sentence it used to be. While people are still dying across the globe, in Western culture HIV is much more of a chronic illness now. With proper medication/management, you can easily live 20, 30, 40+ years. See your doc, get a genome test done. If your doc doesn’t want to do one, find another doc. This will determine which meds are best for you. More importantly, this will also prevent you from going on a poorly constructed cocktail [1]common term for a group of medications taken together to combat/treat HIV and burning thru whole classes of medications.

Educate yourself about HIV in general. Knowledge is power and you want to be well-armed, so to speak, when making decisions about your long-term health. You’d be surprised how many people know very little or are completely ignorant of how HIV is transmitted, etc. There are two main types of HIV [2]often referred to as HIV-1 and HIV-2 along with a variety of ‘sub-types’. Chances are high you probably have a subtype of HIV-1. I could go on and on but that would quickly bore you to sleep.

Along the same line of thought, take care of yourself physically. Drugs, drinking, smoking, etc are all things you should cut out or keep to a minimum in your life. Your diet is equally important. You don’t have to give up all the foods you love however, some consideration must be givin to trying to balance out your diet. Medication or not, your body is fighting a constant war. Taking care of yourself ensures it has the ammo it needs to carry on the fight. Abusing/neglecting yourself suppresses your immune systems ability to fight. If you don’t workout, I suggest you start. You don’t have to live in the gym but working out helps to strengthen your immune system. Sports or other fun outdoor activities can be just as beneficial.

Navigating the social, emotional, and psychological impact is much more complicated. You are going to encounter ignorance, fear, distrust, and even outright hostility at times. Human beings can be callas and even cruel when faced with the idea of their own mortality. I’m not sure I’m really qualified to give you advice here. Everyone is different and their path is often based as much on their personal beliefs and feelings as much as facts. Reach out to other poz guys and listen to their stories. Not only is it empowering, it also firmly moves you out of the “I’m a victim” mentality.

The psychological impact will probably be more of a constant. Some guys struggle with their internal shame and never truly get over it. Others embrace their status and see it as liberating since they no longer have to worry. Others still see it as just a nuisance that has to be managed and sometimes rears its ugly head. Who am I to say which answer or approach is best. You will have to discover for yourself what works for you.

Know this my friend(s). No matter what, you are loved and this does not make you any less worthy or deserving of love, respect, etc. Your right to be and exist is unchallenged. While navigating the hardships ahead may not always be easy, accept yourself (and your faults) and do not let anyone try to make you feel any different.

All my best to you.

References

References
↑1 common term for a group of medications taken together to combat/treat HIV
↑2 often referred to as HIV-1 and HIV-2

Ok, So Not A Heifer

Thanks everyone for the kind words on my "before" pic. It isn’t bad at all and the jock doesn’t hurt. hehehe.

I weighed myself today and I’m at 186.5 lbs (naked). My body fat is between 15-18%. [1]I did the old measurement style which is never accurate but close enough. I’m shooting for 8-12%. [2]Anything lower isn’t too healthy as you have no reserves for when you get sick. Your body immediately cannibalizes muscle for energy. Not a lot for a goal of 6 months so you can see I’m not really going overboard. lol However, I plan on focusing on building more muscle as well so the two goals together does present a bit of a challenge. I wanna get my muscle weight up to about 195 lbs. As soon as I do my measurements, I’ll list out the current vs the goal.

Today was my first day of cardio. I only did 3 miles. Not bad for first day. I get bored easily so I did 1 mile treadmill, 1 mile elliptical (spellling?) runner, 1 mile on the stationary bike. I plan on adding the stairmaster as well in a couple of weeks.

I’m not trying to be vain however, now that I’ve told everyone about my goal, it makes it harder for me to ignore it. I don’t like telling someone I’ll do something and then not do it. Just sticks in my craw when I do. I figure this way now I’m on the line and have to deliver. There is always a method to my madness.

Wish me luck!

References

References
↑1 I did the old measurement style which is never accurate but close enough.
↑2 Anything lower isn’t too healthy as you have no reserves for when you get sick. Your body immediately cannibalizes muscle for energy.

Open Wide

No, not that. [1]Get your mind out of my gutter!  Finally, I got off my ass and found a new dentist.  Digressing for a moment, please ignore the multitude of typo’s in my last post.  I was pressed for time and didn’t really check it for accuracy.  Anyway,  the new dentist is conveniently located in the heart of the Castro and I liked him immediately.  I am very picky about people who I pay to make me better.  Trust is big with me and I like knowing I’m not being shafted (in the bad way). 

I must admit I was a tad paranoid.  I found a dentist when I first moved to SF however, it had been 10 years since my teeth had seen any kind of professional work.  Boy did I have some catching up to do. lol  So today, I was thinking of the last time.  It went very smooth though.  Only minor build up and I was in and out under 2 hours. [2]For a first time visit, that was pretty fast.  Ex-rays, consultation, cleaning. BAM!   He did say he thought my choice of toothbrush had a big impact.  My last dentist suggested the Sonicare brush and I gave it a whirl.  I have an issue with paying $100 for a freaking toothbrush.  I have to admit though, it was a good buy.  Even on my random schedule of brushing, my gums were in good shape.  And seeing a dentist get overly excited about your choice of toothbrush is rather comical I might add. 

I only have one new small cavity and one of my existing fillings is cracked. [3]Damn popcorn kernels!  I go back in two weeks to get the cavity fixed, two weeks after that the filling.  Then comes the scary part.  I get a referral to an orthodontist for braces.  I’m hoping I’m a candidate for invisilign.   I’ve decided if I’m not, I’m not getting braces.  Try as I might, I can’t resolve myself to that.  My teeth aren’t that crooked first of all.  And trying to manage a clean mouth full of metal is more than I’m willing to bear.  Wish me luck!

References

References
↑1 Get your mind out of my gutter!
↑2 For a first time visit, that was pretty fast.  Ex-rays, consultation, cleaning. BAM!
↑3 Damn popcorn kernels!

Heifer

I’ve all but given up on keeping up with my blogroll.  I just have too many damn blogs to keep up with.  It was easier when no one read my madness. hehehe.   Anyway, in making an attempt today, I’ve noticed several of my blog buddies ranting about weight loss. 

We have become a nation obsessed with instant gratification.  We care more about fast food than healthy food.  Sad but true.  We are constantly bombarded by fast food ads.  No wonder so many folks are overweight.  It is just easier to be an overweight slob.  And don’t even get me started on a sub-section of the bear culture the delights in slothfulness.  Rather than deal with the problem, let’s make it glamorous.  Oh yeah, there’s an answer.  I digress…  Staying in shape is no easy task.  It takes a conscious will to maintain a good diet.  You might say, "well why should I bother then?"  My answer, it may not be your fault but it is your problem.  Another complaint I often here, "I just don’t have time in my day to workout."  That is the biggest cop-out I think I’ve ever heard.  We make time for things we care about.  Stop finding reasons why you can’t and find some why you can.  Three hours a week ain’t that hard in the scope of things. [1]Hell, I spend more time just looking for sex.

There are some fairly simple things you can do to combat your exploding waistline. 

1) Cut out sugared sodas!  High fructose corn syrup (HFCS) has become the number one contributor to obesity in Western Culture. [2]I’d wager other places too  I’ve beat this horse before so I won’t go on and on. If nothing else, switch to a non-sugared soda.  Your waist (and your heart) will thank you.

2) Cut way back on trans-fats. That means fried foods too.  Being a Southern boy, I know the delights of fried foods however, I’ve cut most of it out of my diet.  I splurge every now and then.  There is a big difference between a random splurge and routine consumption.  That also means about 80% of fast food places.  You do need some trans-fats in your diet however, not to the extent that we consume it.  There is enough trans-fat in one fast food burger/fries to meet your daily requirements for a full week! 

3) Cut back on sodium (salt) and preservatives.  A good rule of thumb, if it has more than 20% of sodium per serving, you don’t need it. 

4) Reduce your portions at meal time.  You’d be surprised how much this helps. 

5) If you don’t exercise regularly, add 3 hours a week.  Three hours!  If you can’t find the time to add 3 measly hours, stop whining because you obviously aren’t serious about losing weight.  If you do exercise, consistency is key.  Intensity matters however, most folks burn themselves out by going overboard.  Slow and steady progress wins every time. 

I could go on and on but you’d be surprised how much weight you’d drop by trying out the 5 tips above.  Obviously, if you are trying to lose 5-15lbs of vanity weight, the above tips might not show a dramatic increase however, it will help.  Most people aren’t looking for ripped abs they just want to see their stomach muscles. 

I was telling someone today, I hate the word "diet".  Dieting just teaches your body more efficient ways to store fat you aren’t using.  This makes it harder to burn off later.  Duh.  Don’t starve yourself.  Work on gradually changing your eating (and exercise) habits.  A good way to do this is to set goals and track your progress.  Tracking your weight loss (gain) gives you focus.  We tend to succeed at things we focus on routinely.  Setting an empty goal with no action plan will almost always fail. 

/rant

References

References
↑1 Hell, I spend more time just looking for sex.
↑2 I’d wager other places too

Confused Again

So I came up with the poll this week after my friend Matthew said he was a bit upset over being turned down by poz guys. He said two different guys he was interested in dating wouldn’t go out w/him because he was negative. I had to ask again as I was sure I misheard what he said. Nope, I heard him correctly. A poz guy wouldn’t go out with him because he was negative. Ironic wouldn’t you say? Being completely flummoxed, I asked one of my long time (20+ years) poz friends and his response, “well, it is just easier to play with someone who is also poz.” Wait, wait….wait just a damn minute. So now the poz community is using the same flawed logic as the negative community? WTF? After all, isn’t that the same excuse an ignorant negative person would use. After he thought about it, “yeah I guess it is.” I just don’t get people sometimes. Someone would have unprotected sex w/a complete stranger because he says he is negative but they won’t have safe sex w/an honest poz guy. Oh yeah, that makes perfect logic to me. NOT!

Frankly, I’d have safe sex with a serodiscordant person before I’d have any kind of sex w/a meth or drug addict. At least w/a serodiscordant person I know where I stand and what I’m protecting myself against. The latter not so much. I could go on and on about the damage meth does to your brain. Simply put, the most apparent symptom is often extreme paranoia. Paranoia that can and often leads to violence. No thank you.

Sadly, even today there is still a lot of ignorance surrounding HIV and how it is spread. Unless you are into some freaky shit, it really just takes a condom and condom-safe lube. Yep, that is all it takes. And, in an age where a plethora of medical knowledge is only a click away, you have no excuse not to know at least the basics.

219

This is the code we use at work for a stabbing victim; which is what I felt like the other day when I went down to Magnet for a routine STD test.1 I get signed in and go to the back to face the obligatory interrogation as to why I’m there. No worries, as I know all to well the burden placed on the City’s healthcare system. We make it thru the throat swab and the “bend and spread’em” swab problem free. I mean how hard is it to fuck up a swab test? Then comes the very minor, one would think, routine blood draw to test for the ugly-headed monster called syphilis. Forgetting for a moment, both of my arms are very vascular,2 the phlebotomist managed to stab completely thru a large vein. Naturally, I end up with a large hematoma afterwards. (Simply put, blood collecting under the skin) If you’ve never had one, the blood quickly dissipates however, it tends to be very unsightly and causes pain days later from the surrounding muscle tissue being irritated. So now, I look like Farrah Faucet in the ‘Burning Bed’ after she’d been thoroughly beaten by her husband. Lord, I know they don’t get paid a lot to do that job but, asking for a minute amount of competence is not pushing it in my opinion. And the real kicker was this was not the first time! It also happened on my previous pilgrimage. I wrote a stinging letter to the City Health Director as well as the Clinic Director. I guarantee you next time I go back it won’t happen again.

I called off work today. For a variety of reasons, I was not in my “happy place” and work would have been a disaster had I gone in. I did finally use the down time to get the laundry done. I don’t honestly know why I have such a mental block when it comes to laundry. I wonder if it stems from my childhood. I know, you are probably going “childhood? WTF?” Well, once when I was about 3 or 4 years old my father locked me in the dryer and turned it on for about a minute. You see, I used to climb in our dryer and hide. I had been warned countless times not to do it so I guess he thought he’d teach me a lesson. It worked too. I never ever played in the dryer again after that. No, I don’t seriously think it’s related but it is an odd coincidence don’t ya think?

*

In other news, my friend Matthew, who just moved to SF, got a temp. job working for a porn company. No, not as an actor or a fluffer, he is a grunt. In regular movie terms, he’d be a grip. He is all excited and couldn’t stop talking about it today over lunch. The most pressing issue on his mind was what to wear. Bless his heart. I’m sure it sounds exciting but when you actually do it, it isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Well, from my point of view anyway. However, I am rather jaded as I live with a porn star who I have known practically all of my adult life. And lets face it, you can’t shake a stick w/o bumping into a rising star here. (pun intended) He is getting paid a fair share for his efforts so there is a positive aspect to it. And moving from Oklahoma City to SF, I can certainly understand his excitement.

1 No, I don’t have a nasty drip just past due for my routine test.
2 A misappropriation of the word referring to large veins close to the surface of the skin.

Testing 1 2 3

I had my oral interview this morning for the EMT gig. I did not do as well as I wanted but I did ok. I expected something completely different and had to radically adjust my thinking once there. Not the end of the world as it is the overall score I’m concerned with however, I could have done better. The physical agility test is this afternoon. I am not worried about it at all as I do the skills required on a very regular basis.

So now I’m home, licking my wounds and having lunch. More later.

***Update***

I made up for sucking ass on the oral interview. I fucking aced the PAT1! Not only that but I was the oldest guy in my group and I had the fastest time. hehehe. The other 3 guys were all in their 20’s. Two were very young and the other was late 20’s. All of us were in pretty good shape. I am so proud of myself! The test consisted of several components. You had to pick up and carry two 35lb bags (70lbs total) and run up 6 flights of stairs (7 floors). At the top, you dropped the bags and dragged a prone dummy 30 feet from one line to the next. After you get the all clear, you grab your two bags and head back down the stairs to the bottom. At the end, you run over and pull a loaded gurney from an ambulance, secure the legs, and then put it back in again. No biggie right? Here’s the catch. You have to do it all under 4 minutes. I had a full minute and 30 seconds to spare from beginning to end!

Admittedly, the hardest part is dragging 70lbs up six flights of stairs. I was chugging along pretty well until that last fraking stairwell between 6-7. My poor quads were screaming for release and more than a little rubbery. I had forgotten to change and wear my tennies and I’m sorta glad now. On the way down, my boots provided a lot of traction as my poor legs were barely under control. I kept saying “feets” don’t fail me now!
Continue reading Testing 1 2 3

I Got It!

I got my notice from the Fire Dept. about my test. I passed! Yeeehawwww! LOL

Next comes my PAT (physical agility test) and the oral interview. Both are scheduled for the 25th of this month. Those are the last two hurdles before I get my final placement on “the list”. The list determines where I rank in order of seniority. What does that mean? Well, if I rank 10 on the list, then I get slot 10 going down the list from 1. There are 32 slots available. If I rank 33, I end up in line for the next group of hires.1

More good news, I found out I have the option to do a waive. If I get called up in the first group, I have the option to waive off. This bumps me to the top of the list for the next group of hires. The only down side is the first group gets instant seniority above me but I’m ok with that. The EMT position pays half what I’m making now. I’ve crunched the numbers and I just can’t take that much of a hit right now. However, if I get on the list, I can work toward putting some moolah away for next time. Even better news, I found out they are definitely planning on an in-house program to promote EMT’s to Medics. That was my game plan from the start and you can imagine my relief at knowing it is a definite.

People keep asking me why I’m jumping for a job that pays half my salary. Well, I’m not planning on staying an EMT. I fully plan to become a paramedic. It is more inline with I want to do, it pays more than my current position and the retirement is hugely better. If I get on in the next 2 years, I would be able to retire, if I wanted too, anytime between 55-60 instead of waiting till I’m 65.2

I plan on using the land my dad left me as nice retirement bonus too. By the time I do retire, it will fetch a hefty price. One might say, yours truly is smart and handsome. . . naaaaaah.

1 I’m hoping this is where I end up actually.
2 That is if Bush doesn’t completely bankrupt the damn country.