Worlds End

I’ve written and rewritten this post several times now, which tells me my thoughts and emotions on the subject haven’t settled yet. 

Where do we go from here? A man no one took serious in the beginning with his crazy talk and racist banter has vaulted to the highest office in our land. And he didn’t steal it.1  He won it because he secured the necessary electoral votes. And even though he lost the popular vote, he will be our next president. To say I’m sad, heartbroken, distraught, and even fearful of the coming future would be an understatement. The world is still turning but our society in America is about to undergo a radical shift and not for the better I’m afraid. 

This is not an ordinary election. This is not just sour-grapes over my candidate not winning. There is a real palpable fear for not only our very democracy but our families and loved ones. So I guess the real question is how much can one man (and his party) damage our country in a single 4-year cycle? We could hope he ends up being a lame-duck due to in-fighting with his own party. I certainly don’t think he will tow the line for them. But what about the issues he does agree with? What about his own crazy notions? 

The Republicans are already lining up to repeal the Affordable Care Act, otherwise known as Obamacare. Millions of people in the double-digits will lose access to even basic health-care. Granted, insurance exchanges and the companies in them don’t have to stop. They could continue to offer acces. However, the rules that stop them from rejecting folks with pre-existing conditions will be gone. Many other rules that made the program so successful will also be gone. And states would also be free to forcibly abolish them by creating new laws. 

Then the LGBT marriage issue comes up. I personally think this will be a hard one as the SCOCTUS was fully constituted when the case was originally heard and rehearing a decided case so soon is unprecidented, not impossible but unprecidented. It is easy to argue we are in unprecidented territory and relying on precident isn’t a real comfort. And that doesn’t mean the legislature can’t find other ways to interfere just like they’ve done with abortion. He already gets to pick the next justice for the court. You can guarantee it will be a hyper-conservative anti-gay one. The cronies behind him are already laying the groundwork and building their lists of hopefuls. Racism and homophobia are out of the closest again. And any case decided while the SCOTUS was not fully constituted can be brought back up the chain and reheard. You think the new court will favor Union rights? And what if something happens and he gets to appoint more justices? He will sway the court for decades. 

I read announcements today regarding many of Trumps’s previous choices for his cabinet and was mortified. Palin, Christie (if he doens’t end up in prison first), Guiliani, Carson, etc. His list is full of anti-LGBT, anti-science, anti-climate change, and anti-women choices. And let us not forget the no longer subtle racist individuals in his campaign. These folks, thru his appointment, pose as much if not greater threat to us than he does. 

No, the world didn’t end yesterday. And it won’t end tomorrow. But once Trump takes office and starts changing out the heads of government, what will become of our society? I wonder how many of the people pretending this isn’t a national tragedy will still be nay-saying it 4 years from now. For everyone’s sake, I hope they’re right. For myself, I’m fortunate to live where I do. California is a stronghold of democratic values and San Francisco is at the head of the pack. But we’ve already seen incidents of hate and homophobia here, yes even here we aren’t completely immune. 

I’ve reached a point of stability in my life where I’m not overly worried for myself. And I’m saying that because I dragged myself from nothing to where I am today. But I worry for those like me still struggling to reach where I am. I imagine so many LGBT folks out there struggling the way I did just to get ahead and to make something of themselves. They get to face newer and higher hurdles because of our politics. I worry for the rest of my community. Trump isn’t even in office yet and attacks against LGBTI and minority communities are on the rise. I’ve read some of my friends trying to down play it like it isn’t a big deal. Mind you, many of those friends are white and aflluent so of course they don’t feel threatened. But, if trump crashes our economy or removes many of the restrictions that keep companies in check, they might be singing a different tune when they find their 401k’s have become worthless. Or they wake up to find their food/water has been poisoned. The EPA will most certainly be neutered. What about the FCC? What about education? I worry for my younger brother. He won’t have access to medical care if his wife loses her job. He is suffereing from digenerative bone disease in his back and still has a couple years of medical needs ahead of him. And whatever the final outcome, he may need access beyond that? 

And that is just the tip of the iceberg. I don’t think the American people realized how dangerous Trump and his sycophant cronies really are. They got caught up in the hype and the sensationalism that is our media now. But they will find out all too soon. Or, we’ll keep ignoring climate change and the environment will kill us off 

by the millions. Either way, as a life long optimist, I’m strugging to find hope right now. 

As my maw-maw always said, “careful what you wish for because when you get it, you’re stuck with it.” I just hope we can survive being stuck with Trump. 

  1. That point being arguable based on the never ending propoganda against Hillary but the reference is more to the Bush/Gore debacle. []



First, I’m in a foul mood today. Apologies in advance if I sound somewhat jaded. I have an awful splitting headache that keeps threatening to grow into a full-blown migraine. 

The nonsense is almost over folks. The election is tomorrow and the never-ending barrage of political updates will soon be over. We will either have the first female president or a man so corrupt with greed and selfishness, I fear for our very way of life. However, I’m optimistic anti-intellectualism hasn’t spread so far the American people would vote a vile human being like Trump into office. Time will tell, tick tock…  If I’m being honest, I think the media has done a great job giving the crazy minority so much air time it looks like Trump is way closer than he is. The bigger the landslide win for Hillary the more my faith in humanity will be restored.  

The good news is now we’ll be able to properly focus on the non-existent war on Christmas just in time for Thanksgiving. And lest you forget, black Friday is approaching very soon. I mean no one gives a sh*t about Thanksgiving, right? It’s all about the shopping. I actually remembered I have the holiday off this time so Shawn and I are most likely headed down to LA for the long weekend. We might even drag the Cooper Pooper with us. 
I shut my pie hole on politics a few weeks ago and I’m glad it’s almost over. That said, if you haven’t voted I hope you will tomorrow. If you aren’t voting, you have no right to complain about the future of this country. And spare me the hypocritical nonsense about your vote not counting. If you want to be a shitty citizen, own it, don’t pretend you’re somehow “above it all.”  

I honestly never thought I’d see the day I actually feared for our democracy. I just keep thinking of that silly line from the new Star Wars movies when Pad Mai (spelling?) decries, “so this is how democracy dies… to thundering applause.”  And what is in store for us in the next election? Will it be another round of crazy? I mean the Trump campaign has already legitimized hate, racism, misogyny, homophobia, and actual physical violence. The bar is so low now one can hope we can only go up again from here. 

Anyway, I encourage you to vote tomorrow, if you haven’t already. It is not something you should take lightly. It is your obligation as a free citizen to vote, whether you like said candidates or not. The idea that you should avoid voting due to crappy candidates is a red herring. That’s how the crazies and the extremists get into office. They depend on the indifference of the average American. There has already been talk from the Republican camp this year about trying to limit voting to land owners or those of certain income levels. Yeah, seriously. If you throw away your rights too much longer you may wake up one day and find they’ve been taken from you. 

Where ever you are in the country, go vote tomorrow so we can all move on to the next fake scandal.



I usually avoid talking a lot about politics on da blog as a rule.  I do often encourage folks to get out and vote. However, this year is just insane. In previous years, ideologies might have been at work, but this year I honestly feel like our very democracy is at stake. If “He Who Shall Not Be Named” were to win, I fear we wouldn’t have another election. Our devolution into chaos would be complete. It still astounds me that such an absolutely insane man could even win the nomination much less have a chance at the presidency.1 

Facts mater and he seems to not care about facts or reason. That should concern everyone, regardless of party affiliation. He says whatever occurs to him and then just denies or recounts it later. He has even admitted in interviews he often just says whatever he thinks the crowd wants to hear. I’ve yet to hear a sound well-reasoned argument as to why this man would be a better choice than anyone, much less Hillary. 

I get there are some reasons many feel he will ‘shake things up’, but the overwhelming cognitive dissonance involved with such reasoning cannot be denied. You cannot make misogynistic, racist, homophobic, sexist, bigoted, and/or just plain ignorant comments on a regular basis and follow it up with “oh, you misunderstood me.” He has yet to put forward a single explanation on how he will get anything done. “Just trust me”, he says. Uh, no. I don’t trust you because you haven’t given a single reason, other than rhetoric, why you should be trusted. He has never held any sort of political office. He has run basically every company he owns in bankruptcy, and then brags about it. And that is the tip of the iceberg. The only claim to fame he has is his daddy’s trust fund and a reality TV show. That is not a qualification to be President. And frankly, I wouldn’t let him be president of my fan club.2  

You may not like Democrats as a rule. Or you may not like Hillary as a rule, but voting for this man would be a vote for chaos. And if you think that would be good for America, you clearly haven’t thought the real world ramifications through very well. The idea of having a child, prone to wild tantrums, in control of our nuclear codes scares the shit out of me! Don’t even get me started on the damage to the world economy or our own. 

As for Hillary, you don’t have to particularly like her, but you do have to respect her years of service. After roughly 30 years, she is still in public service and has not only survived as a woman but thrived.  She is by far the most qualified candidate for president I’ve witnessed in my lifetime. And while I do not agree with all her policies or decisions, she is the only choice to Trump.3  

The lining on the cloud here is that Trump’s insanity is turning away most centrist voters. Hell, he is even alienating a huge chunk of his own party. His campaign is becoming more and more chaotic and his rhetoric is off the rails. First the Japan comments and now the sad ‘Obama founded ISIS’ nonsense.  What a maroon! He might appeal to the crazies and fundamentalists in the base, but that won’t win him an election.  Right now the election is Hillary’s to lose. And that is a good place to be. Let us all hope it stays that way. 

  1. It is fun watching the extremist and hypocrites inside the Republican party eat themselves alive []
  2. If I had one mind you. Hehee []
  3. And throwing your vote away on the Anti-vaxxer, wifi-kills-you Stein or the bizarre Johnson is not a moral stance no matter how one might try to twist it that way. []


I rarely discuss current events here as one, not really what my blog is about and two, successful discourse these days seems to be all but impossible. Having had several discussions with friends and even a few blog readers asking my thoughts on it, I thought I’d weigh in.

First, there is no clean answer. It is a sticky convoluted problem. Every answer put forward so far hurts someone. So if you look at the least amount of harm caused vs potential success then you can sort of see a way forward.

The boycott of companies. I don’t support a boycott. Primarily, because it won’t do any good. Put – head doesn’t care about the fallout or damage he causes, he only cares about furthering an agenda. He doesn’t care if we boycott one company or all of them, he will continue his agenda unabated. This is Russia we’re talking about. It’s history speaks for itself. Frankly, I don’t see that we do all that much business with Russian companies to begin with. I’m sure we have some but as a consumer I just don’t see it. I also don’t believe that they have any influence at all over their government. They don’t have the lobbyists like we do here. They don’t have the buying power like greedy corps here. The vodka company has been a decent supporter of gay rights before and after this incident. Why is it fair to punish them when they have zero influence over their government? Plus, boycotts are becoming so common as to be pointless and ineffective IMO. Even if they make further strides to support us, I still don’t support our methodology. The end does not justify the means if we give up the ethical/moral high ground. I don’t see the extra media attention as justification either. Said attention could have been garnered in other ways.

Boycotting the Olympics. Why, so the Russian athletes can take home all the medals? No thanks. Many of these athletes work their whole lives for this. To deny them that would be just a wrong as what is being done to us. How does wronging others do us any benefit? If anything, I think it would create more animosity towards the LGBT community.

Moving the Olympics. I would support a measure if there were time. From a very pragmatic approach, there isn’t and they wouldn’t even consider it. It takes years to plan and prepare for said event. As much as I’d love it if they were willing to move it, it’s not gonna happen. Too many ripple effects for a cause that is not near and dear to their hearts. If it were an option, this would be the one to go with. It would embarrass Russia and Put – head in a major way. Sadly, I just don’t see it as a real option.

Banning Russia from the Olympics. While still causing harm to their athletes, it would send a very powerful message to the government. While I still don’t like the idea of denying athletes, many of whom are probably gay, it is the least damaging of the previous options. Sadly, I’m not even sure that would work. Put – head has some pretty hard line policies and I can’t honestly believe he’d change his mind.

Pressuring sponsors. This is probably the least likely to cause harm but also least effective. I’d support the effort but I’m having a hard time finding a positive net result.

I would push other countries into a united front against Russia. Then if they didn’t budge the IOC could resort to banning Russia from attending. To me this seems to be the most effective way to make a positive change before the Olympics. Granted, any athletes that get arrested for ‘propaganda’ would set off world wide repercussions. While I’d never wish that on anyone, I’d support any athlete who did it! And sadly, I am worried it is the only really effective way to make a difference over there. *sigh*


Apparently, the wounds from the breakup haven’t completely healed yet. Le me ‘es’plain’.

I’ve put myself back out there in regards to dating. While I’m not actively hunting someone to date, I’ve made myself available to opportunities when they present themselves. If you’ve been reading, you know my last two dating attempts were colossal failures! lol Which by itself is not a deterrent. It just makes you appreciate the right one more when it comes along. Anyway, one such opportunity is the topic of my rant today. And the catch? This time the other guy is not the one that has done something wrong.

I met this nice guy on Scruff recently. We’ve gone on a few dates and I even invited him to stay over one night.1 So as we’ve taken time to start getting to know each other, familiar feelings of angst crept up on me. I didn’t catch it at first but once or twice I caught myself falling into old trains of thought.

The sleep over was nice. We cuddled and had a nice time. It wasn’t until afterwards that it suddenly hit me what I’ve been doing. The angst were feelings of loneliness and I was acting out based on insecurities. The moment I recognized it, everything fell into place. And I say it that way because I already knew going into it there were some challenges. I choose not to elaborate at this point out of the fact I still have to resolve this with him. In an nutshell, I’m rebounding in a sense. He is the first guy I’ve dated where I’ve been the one pushing for things to happen. Unfortunately, I’ve been pushing for the wrong reasons. And I know some of your are wondering if I’m misreading real attraction for insecurities. The answer is I don’t think so. Having recognized my own actions and examined the why behind them, it is obvious to me. And the moment I accepted it, the angst went away.

Now I’m faced with a choice on how to proceed. I like him enough I’d definitely like to keep him as a friend. So do I end the romance and just focus on friends? End the potential friendship and focus on the sex? Or end it completely and walk away? I’m inclined to do option one. And while I think he’ll be disappointed, I also think on some level he probably sees it as well. Regardless, I’m grateful I caught myself before I pushed it too far and one or both of us ended up getting hurt.

So yeah, I’m still learning. Hope springs eternal… 

  1. Which is kind of a big deal as I never have ‘sleep overs.’ And if I do, clearly you are more to me than just a booty call. []

I Am Nice Damn It! II

Gooster tagged me for a meme. You all know how I just love those damn things. Considering I haven’t done one in “like forever”, I guess it won’t kill me. However, I will spare you the boredom unless you feel so inclined to click through.

In other news, my career is on a comeback. Who knew?

Oh and I got a 12.5% on the cuss-a-meter for my blog. Fuck’em.

Continue reading I Am Nice Damn It! II

Random Catch Up

So I’m playing catch up on the blogroll.1  I like the overall image I get in my head after reading blogs from all over. 

Blogger A: I knocked over my tea laughing at a comparison to Obama supporters to OJ supporters.  I’m sure the commenter was in jest because no one could actually think such a thing.  Could they?  Political rants are all the rage right now.  It is amazing what some people will call facts. 

Blogger B:  was so sad I started crying.  Comments were disabled which isn’t a good sign.  The blogger is having a bad breakup.  Hang in there Mr.

Blogger C: recently moved to SF finally got a job! Kudos big guy.  I knew you’d do it.

Blogger D: worked out so much his pants fell off.  Just kidding. 

Blogger E:  didn’t have anything to say so he posted a "purdy" picture.

Blogger F: Did you know old gay porn stars do computer work?  Expensive at everything they do.  Tsk, tsk.

Blogger G: finally fixed his comments.  Thank the stars! 

Blogger H: cocktailed as usual.  Drink one (or two) for me.

Blogger I: realized he was in love.  Or at the very least, headed down the path.  *smooch*

Blogger J: got some really good news about a friends surgery.  YAY!

Blogger K: still hasn’t called me for lunch.

Blogger L: discovered how to get high legally. 

Blogger M: posted about the hilarity of sp@m messages and the idiots who still fall for them.

Blogger N: porn as usual.  Ah!

Blogger O: Is having some awful times w/pain management.  In my thoughts fella.

Blogger P: is laughing at "the Americans".  Careful what you wish for buddy. 

Blogger Q: political commentary as usual.  Blah blah blah.  *channeling CoCo Peru*  Move on Gurl!

Blogger R: Got a new puppy

Blogger S: Hasn’t blogged in ages and got the axe off my list today.  *sigh*  I miss you hussy.

Blogger T: in danger of meeting the same fate as Blogger S above.  Start yaking!

Blogger U: posted about his favorite movie of all time.

Blogger V: did some purging.  The good kind.  *g*

Blogger W: is feeling better and glad to be home. 

Blogger X: is going thru a painful breakup but surviving it ok.  Hurry up and move already.  I need a new city to visit.  j/k. 

Blogger Y: Porn as ususal.  You should meet Blogger N

Blogger Z: is speaking in total Geek.  Luckily, I speak it fluently as well. 

And that is just the first random 26 bitches.  See, I really am reading.  Oh yes! I got my eye on you.

  1. Oy! So many people so little time []

Random Smandom V

I was feeling very lazy today. The whole thing about my friend dying has me in a bit of a funk. I’ve talked to several folks online and off who knew him. They were just as surprised as I was. A big thank you to everyone for all the kind words and sympathy. I’m ok.

I was a lazy fuck today. I didn’t go to the gym, didn’t do errands, didn’t drop off laundry, didn’t do squat. I bounced between the sofa and the kitchen mostly. I also had two nice chats with TFA today.

After a nice ride on the bike, I decided to pop in and catch a movie. I ended up seeing the new Resident Evil: Extinction flick. Much better than the 2nd installment but not quite as good as part 1. The first is still the best but this one makes up a little bit for the flop that was part 2. Short but decent plot, the affects were about the same and the militant chick1 from Heroes was in it as well.

I have to go into work for a few hours tomorrow for re-certification on my NIMS/SIMS training.2 Not bad, just written in a language that would put even a hummingbird to sleep. I was supposed to go in last week but I “accidentally” forgot about it. Oops!

  1. I’m having a brain fart at the moment. The one w/the split personalities. Speaking of, the new season starts this week! []
  2. Just a fancy way of saying, “lets be consistent and standardize our responses” []


Not much blogging this week, other than a couple private posts. I’m in one of those moods where I’m just blah. My schedule has been kinda crazy w/extra hours at work for Union duties. I also haven’t been to the gym this week. I know I’m not fat but I feel like a bloated heifer. I’m taking off till Monday, then I’ll hit it again.

In the blog world, brettcajun is hosting a “jiggy whore-off”. I was flattered I got so many votes to participate however, my webcam decided it doesn’t like Windows Vista anymore. It was working fine and then nada. I checked the drivers and it all looks good. Maybe I slung it at the storage box one too many times. Of course, this means I have to go tech shopping again. Poor me. 🙂 In the meantime, hop over and cast your vote for your favorite jiggy whore.

Work has been in an uproar lately. We have a new deputy director and some of her ideas have been causing some grief. I’ve been ‘wearing my union hat’ double time lately and putting out fires. I could go on and on about the problems with our management team however, it would just leave me bitter. The chapter officers met w/her this week for the first time. I think we got some important clarifications on the table and she seemed amicable to working things out. Only time will tell I guess.

I am still missing my Xbox 360. *sniffle* According to the tracking number, it arrived at the repair center safe and sound. I just need to wait for it to get repaired and shipped back. Hurry up already Microsoft! I’m jones’n over here. I just realized it won’t be back in time for the release of Halo 3. *wail*

Random Questions

I’ve gotten a slew of random questions this past week and I figured I’d share here my answers.

1) What happened to “Mr. I-know-who-you-are”?

I don’t know. He never responded to my request for a valid IP address. All talk and no action. NEXT!

2) Are the hidden posts on your blog stories or real life occurrences?

I’ve answered that before however, they are all true. Sometimes I change the names to protect the guilty though. heehee.

3) When did you know you were gay?

I knew as early as 5 that I was somehow different however, a mind that young has no frame of reference for human sexuality. I began questioning when I was 10 and then at age 12 I knew something was very different about me. It wasn’t until just after my 14th birthday I began to really admit to myself I was ‘gay’.

4) I registered as a user but I still can’t see your hidden posts.

Probably because you didn’t reply to my follow-up request to introduce yourself. Email me directly.

5) You never talk about the Bare Chest charity anymore.

I no longer volunteer for them. Call it “creative differences”.

6) I noticed your twitter updates are still functioning. Mine has stopped, help!

I switched to a javascript loader via the RSS feed. The WordPress widget no longer works after one of Twitters’s recent upgrades. Email me and I’ll send you the code to load.

7) I live in San Francisco. I have never seen you out at the bars. Where do you go out?

Uh, I don’t do the bars much unless I have friends in town. I used to go out alot when I worked for several local charities however, my priorities have shifted.

8) Have you ever met Chad Fox?

Yes, and he is a filthy scoundrel and I love him to death.

9) How did you know I worked for [removed for privacy]? Is it that easy to discover?

Uh, because I am very nosy. I monitor all incoming/outgoing traffic on my blog/domain. You visit me weekly from your work address/IP. It is not a filtered or proxy IP so it was an easy guess. And yes, it is.

10) Why are you such a slut? (from a good friend mind you after reading my last entry)

Because I can be bitch. Jealousy is so not your color! 😛