In the spirit of Halloween and costumes, I ask you….how do you describe your gayness? Is it just about the fact that you like to suck cock or is it more? Do you define gayness by the clothes you wear, the places you go, the people you know, and/or how butch you act (or don’t)? Better yet, how do you define masculinity? Do you use any of the previous mentioned criteria?
I just don’t understand sometimes how we can be so blind to our shortcomings when they are so obvious. The attitude I see most often is the clothing makes the man. Doesn’t matter how fem or masculine you are as long as you dress butch it’s ok…your butch.
I don’t care how butch you dress, if you open your mouth and Barbie rolls out spouting her newest shoe purchase you ain’t butch. And while I’m answering the clue hotline here’s another tip. Its ok! Be yourself. It doesn’t matter if you dress in a dress or leather, it’s all drag if it’s not you.
Then there’s the straight-acting group. You can suck cock at Blowbuddy’s but you can’t get your nails done in the Castro. Oh no, that would be just appear to be too gay! Whatever. Again, get over it!
A simple observation is you can enhance or create an appearance either direction. But at the end of the day, is this who you really are?
I often refer to myself as “post gay”. I forget who coined the term but I took to it immediately. Such a simple word combination sums up so much. A sort of “been there, did that” type of thing. I’m probably not explaining it well. I’m just annoyed w/current gays. Our culture seems obsessed w/”gayness” and almost always masculinity is tied into it, directly or indirectly. We internalize our homophobia and dish each other creating even more separation.
I wonder when will it end. Will we continue down the current path where androgyny is the new butch or will we just grow up a bit and be more accepting? (The latter option is looking pretty grim I’m afraid.)
Post-Gay is soo perfect! I am really disgusted by those people who are so fake. Being gay, to me, is about being able to be so many things. We can be butch or nelly. We can dress in expensive clothes or slum it. Accept it all! But most of all, it’s about just being yourself.
My clothes really don’t have anything to do with the way I see myself sexually…cause sexually I see myself buck-ass nekkid. You can tell I’m gay by who I’m sticking my c*ck into.
Good job! i am so sick of guys who think their masculinity is contingent upon putting down “the queen”. Oh well, in that case I’ll be with the queen. He’s no doubt more secure.
The clothes part of it was cute, but true. If cruising Market is the only time you wear the hiking boots, that’s not hiking sunshine.
We all do pretty well with the outward in that regard. It’s the deeper elements of masculinity like insight, empathy, and strength of resolve that are harder to find. And a lot more enduring in the “hot” dept.
Steve
I don’t know which one is worse:
Asking what “STRAIGHT ACTING”
….or the people who actually attempt to answer that question.
If you have to “act”, then it isn’t natural. You’re right, Moby, that people need to be who they are. Some guys are naturally more effeminate than others. That’s cool and all–I have friends that are “girly” guys and it’s ok. I tend to see myself as a little bit more manly than that. I see nothing wrong with me not wanting a professional manicure, not wanting to dress in pink polos with turned up colors, and not doing stuff that is stereotypically “gay”, whatever that may be defined as at the time. I am my own person, accept me for that. On the flip side, I know that I am attracted to other guys like me–the guys who are less in “the life” and more into their own life.
But wow, you definitely provided food for thought. Think I know what my next entry is going to be about….
It’s all about sex.
Let’s revisit the people who might criticize you all for being a bunch of church-goers – er, um … hypocrites. All of you, I say; Dammit.
It’s definitely all about the sex.
So – what is wrong with a man raising a child with a woman? It seems to be the best situation for the kid??!! I know I wouldn’t want to explain that my adoptive parents are the same gender. I’d rather live as a reclusive teenager.
And … what’s wrong with dear old dad going out and screwing other men occasionally?? (Or taking a romantic holiday …. )
Isn’t that what they did at the “Gentlemen’s Club” all throughout history anyway?
It’s all about sex.